Posted in codependency, Relationships

Unrequited Love – Help is on the Way!

In my upcoming e-course, Happily Ever After – from co-dependency to the fulfillment of love, one of the demons we tackle is patterns of unrequited love, including all those potential partners who show up that end up being bad for us.  In the lesson “Kissing Frogs” we learn to identify all those who are not, ultimately, good for us and the lessons we can learn through them so that we can eventually find the partner who is just right for us. In this lesson, you will have an opportunity to identify your own frogs and to see how they are actually teachers – revealing the parts of ourselves that need to be healed or reclaimed.  Poetry, from my own journey of identifying frogs, will be used as a source of inspiration for you to recognize your own frogs.  Here is just one example:

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California Boy

What was it about you that made me love you so?

Not the tall, dark and handsome of my 80’s icons.

Pretty average, in fact.

But, in my in my eyes, you were cute as hell.

With a flash of your smile and a gleam in your eyes,

I was home.

Sharp as a whip.

Articulate.

Funny.

Engaging and smart.

Peaceful, calm and cool.

Whether tossing back pints at the Field House,

Sipping coffee at Reeve,

Getting high on the roof,

Or making out in the backseat of Bino’s car.

Every moment felt effortless.

What made you unavailable to me?

The girlfriend back home?

Some unspoken rule of third dorm?

Was there something wrong with me?

All I know now is that the eighteen year old girl in me never stopped loving you,

For under your gaze I knew I was being seen

And my words were being heard.

To learn more about the upcoming e-course, Happily Ever After, click HERE.

Posted in Being Human, Midlife Journey, Relationships, Returning book

Soulmate, Twin Flame, Unrequited Longing

Today’s post speaks to the longing that we all experience for connection – a longing that manifests in unique ways for each individual.  Sometimes this longing reaches out to us through our dreams, our imaginings, a restlessness that cannot be contained or a heart-ache that cannot be quenched.  The connection that we long for it at once outside of us and within us as we seek to be reunited with the lost and forsaken parts of ourselves and as we seek to live out that wholeness in partnership with another.  Some might call this outside search as the journey toward our soulmate or twin flame, others might simply experience it as unrequited longing.  I call it the search for The Beloved.

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In Search for the Beloved

My Beloved,

When I go to the deepest places in my heart, you are there….gazing back at me with adoring eyes, holding out your hand to me, pulling me toward yourself, stroking my hair, holding me, kissing my lips, drying my tears.  I know that I have known your presence and I ache for you.  I miss you with a missing that feels like a sword piercing my heart, tearing me in two.  You have wandered in and out of my sleeping and waking dreams, beckoning me to you in a way that sometimes seems cruel.  How long will you hide your presence from me?  How much more patience must I bear?  I sought you.  I waited for you.  I made great sacrifices for you.  Yet, still I find you are not here and I am forced to grieve the disappointment.

So, what is there left for me to do?  Should I give you up?  Decide you are merely a figment of my overactive imagination and forsake the idea, the hope of an enduring love?  Am I to give you up and live my life knowing you will not come and forever be unsatisfied?  Do I look elsewhere and settle for less?  I ask for you to speak, yet you do not answer.  I work to keep my heart open, to sustain the hope, to keep the light burning that will lead  you home, but I find I do grow tired.  My heart grows heavy and tears fall like rain from my eyes.  I’m tempted to let the light grow dim, to close my heart to you and to continue on in the way that I came – alone.  If you have an answer for me, I’m listening, but I don’t know for how much longer.

Look for more on the midlife experience of longing in my upcoming book, Returning – a woman’s midlife journey to herself, coming in May.