Posted in Divine Masculine

Resurrecting and Restoring the Divine Masculine Online Course

The purpose of this course is to provide a platform and a guide for those interested in reclaiming the unrealized Divine Masculine that already dwells within them. In this, we discard the Unholy/Wounded Masculine which is rooted in fear, power and control, and resurrect the loving provision and protection that brings balance and wholeness to us all.

7 self-guided, online lessons centered on experiential and embodied learning.

Knowledge based lessons integrated with mindfulness and creativity based activities.

Reflection and optional discussion.

For people of all genders

Created and Facilitated by Lauri Ann Lumby, OM, OPM, MATS

Learn more and register HERE or click on the image below:

 

The Divine Masculine is the power within us to be a source of loving provision and protection for ourselves and for those in our care.  The Divine Masculine is part of our original nature as men and women who have been created in the image of the Divine. While we have been conditioned to think of the masculine as strictly related to male, the Divine Masculine is inherent within all of us regardless of our gender identification.   When the Divine Masculine is fully embodied, the qualities that we have been conditioned to think of as the positive qualities in men, emerge out of all of us – qualities related to action, provision, protection, setting boundaries, getting needs met, and building (to name a few).  Under the reign of the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine, humanity thrives – moving toward our original state which is one of peace, contentment and joy where we live in harmony with one another in beloved partnership and cooperative engagement.  

 

Unfortunately, the Divine Masculine (along with the Divine Feminine) has been sorely missing in our world.  Between 5,000 and 10,000 years ago (depending on whose theory you subscribe to), humanity experienced a dramatic change in our societal constructs. In this, the Divine within all of us was supplanted by the unholy aspects of our human nature.   Fear took hold and with it the Unholy Masculine and the Unholy Feminine were born.  

 

The Unholy Masculine arises out of and conditions us through fear. It creates oppressive behavioral patterns and institutional structures, while building hierarchies which privilege one (race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, economic status, etc.) over another.  Under the reign of the Unholy Masculine the majority suffer.  The only ones who benefit from that which arises out of the Unholy Masculine are the few who have placed themselves in positions of power.

 

The Unholy Feminine is powerless in the face of the power of the Unholy Masculine, resulting in either manipulative, deceitful, or victim behaviors used as a way to try to regain that power. Again, this Unholy Feminine is present within all of us, regardless of our gender identification. 

 

The Authentic Jesus as an historical example of the Divine Masculine. 

In this course we turn to the Western model of the Divine Masculine as it was lived out through Jesus of Nazareth who became Christ.  Piercing through the religious dogma and doctrine that has imprisoned Jesus’ message of love, partnership and equality, we find the original Jesus – a human being who came to know and understand his true Divine nature, thus embodying his full divinity (masculine and feminine). In doing so, he became both fully Divine and fully human, the ultimate intention of the human experience.  To use the language of modern psychology, Jesus became self-actualized – knowing who he was, what his gifts were, and how he was called to share these gifts. He was able to live for the sake of his own fulfillment and in service to the betterment of the world.  Jesus then sought to guide his disciples in doing the same. 

 

Mary, called Magdalene, is the only one of Jesus’ disciples who was said to have completed this process of initiation (“healed of seven demons”), applying Jesus’ example and teachings, and becoming fully self-actualized herself.  Here, Mary (Magdalene) becomes the model of the Divine Feminine. 

 

But more than this, Jesus and Mary together provide the example of the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine as present, integrated and fully embodied within all of humanity.  

 

This is our goal – to follow the example set forth by Jesus and then fulfilled through Mary Magdalene – to create an opportunity to welcome the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine within us and to embody them fully in our lives.  In this, we realize our full Divine nature as present within our human form and here we find peace – not only for ourselves, but for all of humanity.  It is here that we become “the change we want to see in the world.” 

 Learn more and register HERE. 

 

Scripture Disclaimer:  You will notice that scripture plays a predominant role in my writing and in most of my local and online courses.  Please note that my approach to scripture is unlike any you have likely experienced before!  I do not approach scripture from a dogmatic or doctrinal perspective.  Neither do I use it as a way to instill fear or manipulate specific actions or behaviors.  Instead, I approach scripture as the ancients did – as a collection of stories which have the opportunity to reflect back to us aspects of ourselves.  In this way, scripture becomes a vehicle through which our highest self can speak to us – providing guidance, support, inspiration, nourishment and even healing.  When we pierce through the veil of other people’s interpretations and allow the Divine to speak to us personally and directly through these ancient texts, we discover the transformational power of The Word as it was originally intended – as a tool to guide and sustain us on the path of love.

Posted in Divine Masculine, Healing

Healing the Wounded Masculine

Healing the Wounded Masculine

For three nights in a row I have had dreams about the wounded masculine – specifically the wounded masculine within me. As the ancients have said, when things come in threes, it is a clear message from Spirit. In this case, it is an invitation to recognize and then heal the wounded masculine within me and in doing so, providing an invitation, support, guidance and direction for others in doing the same.

wounded masculine, distorted masculine, holy masculine, healing the wounded masculine, patriarchy, divine masculine

The Dreams

As is most always the case, dreams speak to us in the language of symbols. The dreams that came through for me are no different.  All of the dreams featured myself and a “lover.”  In each of the dreams, “the lover” was wounded, injured or broken in some way.  The first was a transgender male who had just had “bottom” surgery and was still in extreme pain in his newly attached “masculine” power center.  In the second dream, “the lover” was excruciatingly attractive, but was imprisoned by addiction.  The lover in the third dream was physically paralyzed from the waist down.  In every dream, I was the woman (feminine) trying to love the wounded male into wholeness – or at the very least to let him know that even in his brokenness, he was loved. As every dream interpreter would suggest, “the lovers” in the dream also represent aspects of myself – specifically the distorted masculine qualities I have taken on trying to make it in a world ruled by a distorted aspect of the masculine and driven by fear, power and control.  The wounded masculine in the dream represents how taking on these distorted masculine qualities have done damage to my soul.

How the Distorted (Unholy) Masculine has done me (us) harm

When we live in a culture ruled by fear, power and control, we are shown that the only way to succeed, to get your needs met, is through striving, driving, forcing, and cajoling. Achievement becomes our goal and is defined by external means.  In Western culture, achievement is measured by money, material possessions and fame.  If we become rich and famous, or better yet, get our own reality show, we have made it.  We have achieved the goal of Western society.  What we are not told, however, is that the striving, driving, forcing and cajoling that it takes to “make it” in a culture driven by fear, power and control, is killing us.  Perhaps not those who have “made it,” but the rest of us who are “forced” to live according to these means of “achievement” are dying.  And if those who have “made” it aren’t dying on the outside, they are dying on the inside for selling their Soul to the highest bidder.  The proof of this dying (the wounded masculine) is present all around us – from the destruction of our environment to increasing poverty to the rampant increase in stress related disease to increasing violence related to gun deaths, suicide and war.  The wounded masculine within all of us is screaming to be seen so we can begin to do the work of healing.

The Wounded Masculine in Me

As a woman working in a world ruled by the distorted masculine (or what some are now calling toxic masculinity), I have been told that the key to success is hard work and that the harder I work the more successful I will become. I have been told that my success is measured by how much money I make and how famous I become.  I have been told that if I am struggling financially, or if my books aren’t best sellers, it is because I have not worked hard enough and that if I want more money or renown, I simply need to work more.  I’ve also been told by the distorted masculine in the “new thought” communities that my success is dependent on my thoughts.  That if I think good thoughts (and the right thoughts) then I will have everything I want in the way of money and success.  And if I have not yet achieved my financial goals, or I am struggling financially it is because I’m thinking the wrong thoughts or not working hard enough at thinking right thoughts.  There are those who say “God wants you to be rich and famous” and if I’m not yet rich and famous it is because I haven’t done enough for God (or put enough money in the collection basket).  I’ve been given formulas, strategic plans, marketing plans from so-called business experts who say the answer is to blog more, network more, send out more fliers, hold more classes, offer more free stuff, do more promotions, write more classes, write more classes on “this topic,” do more podcasts, offer more videos, do seminars, get my own TedTalk, offer more workshops and retreats, travel more, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.  Everyone has an answer to how to “build my success” but here’s the thing:

I’ve done everything the world (based in fear, power and control which measures success in money, material possessions and fame) has told me to do and it is killing me! Not only is it killing me, it has produced nothing.  I’m not rich (on many days I’m just trying to keep a roof over my head) and I’m certainly not famous.

Yes, I’ve published some books, I have a few internet “followers” and a small community of students and clients, but none of this came as a result of driving, striving, forcing or cajoling. None of this came by following someone’s “formula for success.”  Instead, it came from following the promptings of my Soul which have absolutely nothing to do with “working harder” and everything to do with magic – or what some might call love.

Healing the Wounded Masculine in all of us

While some might find joy in driving, striving, forcing and cajoling (none of which should be confused with the Spirit-driven quest to fulfill the purpose of our Soul which sometimes looks like “hard work”), I suspect that the vast majority of humanity, like me, is suffering under the current “formula for success.” In order to heal our suffering, we have to go against the cultural norm, turning away from the voice of the distorted masculine that says “work harder, work more” and turning toward the voice of our Soul.  The voice of our Soul is that which speaks to us in the quiet places within when the mind is at rest, communicating to us the formula for “true success” – that which provides the resources, the inspiration and the drive for fulfilling our Soul’s purpose.  Our Soul’s purpose is made up of the unique way in which we have been gifted to find meaning in our lives and through which we find fulfillment in sharing these gifts for ourselves and for the sake of the betterment of the world.

Harnessing the Holy Masculine

While the process of listening to the voice of the Soul arises out of the Holy Feminine within us, the Holy Masculine puts the Soul’s guidance into action. The inner masculine supports the desires of the Soul, protecting it from outside (and inner) interference, and providing all the Soul needs to come into its fulfillment. The way in which the Holy Feminine reveals the path of the Soul and in which the Holy Masculine tends to the unfolding of the soul differs from one to another, but for me, this is what it looks like –

In listening to the Holy Feminine:

  1. I have come to understand that my Soul’s purpose is love.
  2. The unique way I have been called to be that love in the world is to support the spiritual awakening and self-actualization of humanity.
  3. I live out that calling through my unique gifts of vision (prophecy), empathy, discernment, encouragement (counseling), teaching, writing, leadership and healing.
  4. In order to serve humanity in this capacity, I need to tend to the needs of my Soul, specifically, the need for: solitude, daily meditation and prayer, nourishment (for both my physical body and my soul), exercise, family, healthy loving and mutually supportive friendships, spiritual community.

What does this look like on a daily basis? This is the work of the Holy Masculine:

  • Dedication to my daily (twice daily) spiritual practice.
  • Yoga
  • Walks in nature
  • Time for reading and learning
  • Time for writing
  • Honoring my need for solitude
  • Preparing nourishing and enjoyable meals for myself and my family
  • “Be” time with my children
  • Time with friends
  • Remaining active in the wider community
  • And in the midst of this, my Holy Child calls for play!

Now here’s the funny thing, when I am diligent in tending to the needs of my soul (the masculine quality of provision and support), those things by which we measure “success” in our Western world (money, notoriety) take care of themselves. When I put my needs first, what I need in order to survive in this world (for me that equals: paying students and clients, book sales) simply shows up.  Not because I worked hard or followed some “proven formula for success,” but simply because I took care of myself.

This is the magic of the Holy Masculine – when we allow “him” to provide, support and  protect the needs of the Soul (an act of profound self-love), the rest simply falls into place.

 

 

 

Posted in Beloved Partnership, building the new world, men, world changes

Inviting the Men to Join Us

Yesterday I wrote an article about Feminine Rage and the injustices that have been done to women at the hands of the current structure of our world which is rooted in fear, power and control.  While yesterday’s blog spoke on behalf of women, today I speak to (and hopefully for) the men.

Men, if you are not angered over the injustices that our world has heaped upon women (people of color, the disenfranchised, the sick, the poor, the elderly, etc.) then you should be. If not for the women, then you should be angry for your own sake. Because as much as women have suffered under the hands of a culture rooted in fear, power and control, so have you.  If you don’t believe me, ask yourself a few questions:

  • Where and how have you felt supported for your sensitive, vulnerable side?
  • Where have you been forbidden (or condemned) for expressing tender emotions – fear, sorrow, anxiety, love?
  • Where have you run from intimacy, fearing the vulnerability that comes with it?
  • Where have you been told to “stop crying,” or “boys don’t cry?”
  • Where have you been forced into situations of competition, violence, bullying and how did these experiences cause you discomfort?
  • How do you feel about picking up a gun and going off to war?
  • How do you feel about putting a gun in your son’s hand and sending him off to war?
  • Where do you feel pressure to drive, strive, succeed, achieve, and where do you feel as if your only value is based on how much money you make, what kind of car your drive or what neighborhood you live in?
  • Where have you been supported in exploring/cultivating your creative yearnings? Where have you been told, when entertaining your creative dreams, “There’s no money in that….”
  • Where have you experienced support and a vehicle for expressing all the inner areas of conflict within yourself?
  • Where have you been molested, assaulted, taken advantage of by one in a perceived position of power over you?

My dear, sweet men, you have a right to be angry about all the places in your life where you have been denied or felt as if you had to suppress your truth. The hierarchical/patriarchal/consumeristic/capitalistic world has done you as much harm as it has done to us – maybe more. As much as you have been told to “be tough,” “keep a stiff upper lip,” “be courageous and strong,” and that your value is dependent on what you have achieved (as it is measured in the terms of our society), this is not the whole of what it means to be a man.  While the Holy Masculine is about provision, protection, action and support, in order to experience wholeness, one also needs to experience the feeling of being supported, protected and provided for……and this is the role of the Divine Feminine.  This is the Holy Balance that our Creator intended and what we all long to experience in our world – if we are truly honest with ourselves and about the deepest longing in our hearts.

Men, this is what we as women long to be for you – the Divine Feminine to your Holy Masculine. As women, we have the potential for creating the space in which you might feel safe to lay down your sword and set aside your armor.  Where you are supported in feeling and expressing fear; where you are honored for your strength and your vulnerability.  Where you are uplifted, nourished, nurtured and restored so that you might go back out into the world to do the work you came here to do.  And while we do this for you, we long for you to do the same for us.

We are in this together….but we live in a world that seems to have forgotten this. Instead, we live in a world that has pitted men against women and women against men….and sadly, this is a world of our own making – not directly, but due to thousands of years of conditioning, and we are complicit in allowing it to continue.  Men are guilty for enjoying the benefits of male privilege, and women are guilty for allowing it while enjoying the benefits of powerlessness.  BUT it doesn’t need to be this way.  We have the power to change this, but we can only make this change TOGETHER.  Women acting alone cannot bring about a new paradigm of human partnership and collaboration without the men acting right here beside us.

So my dear sweet men, I offer you a question, an invitation and a question:

The Question:  What kind of world do you want to live in? One rooted in the Unholy Masculine defined by fear, power and control or one rooted in the Holy which honors and uplifts the unique giftedness among all human beings and draws from those gifts?

The Invitation:  If the world you would like to live in is not the world you are living in now, what would you like to do about it?

The Question: If you feel called to a more Holy expression of our world, who are the women you would like to stand beside in bringing this about?

Posted in Authentic Freedom, Empowerment, self-actualization, women

Lessons from Men

At this place in our conscious evolution, (ascension, self-actualization) one of our critical tasks is to set down what has been “unholy” and unbalanced within us, specifically, the unholy masculine (fear, power and control) and the unholy feminine (victimhood, weakness, helplessness, co-dependency). As we relinquish the unholy, the holy aspects of ourselves have an opportunity to emerge from within and take root in us. For women, perhaps the most challenging part of this journey is discovering the holy masculine within us (and not confusing it with the unholy masculine) and allowing it to be lived through us.  In this, we can take some lessons from (healthy) men:

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In women, the embodiment of the Divine Masculine is about understanding our worth.

It is about standing up for ourselves and not only insisting, but expecting, even assuming that our needs will be met.

It is about knowing that the work we do in the world has value and expecting, insisting on appropriate compensation for our contribution to the world – whether it be as wife, mother, employer, employee, artist or business owner.

Embodying the Divine Masculine is about having our own backs – setting boundaries where appropriate, naming and claiming our needs, making sure they are getting met and NEVER having to apologize for doing what is right for ourselves.

Embodying the Divine Masculine is about NEVER having to make accommodations that our male brethren would never think of making for another – so much so that others would never even think to ask.

Embodying the Divine Masculine is about never questioning the fact that our needs come first and never even thinking to ask – we simply do it.

Embodying the Divine Masculine is about loving ourselves – knowing our greatness and never settling for less than what we deserve.

Posted in Authentic Freedom, Being Human, Relationships

How the “Unholy Masculine” is Killing Us.

I want to be clear, right from the start, this blog is NOT about men and it is not against men. This blog is about a characteristic and behavior pattern of Western culture that I have come to call “the unholy masculine.” Both women and men are guilty of embodying characteristics and engaging in behaviors consistent with the “unholy masculine,” and THIS is the cause of all that is wrong with Western culture and IT is killing us.

The unholy masculine can be defined as:

Behaviors and characteristics of power and control, ultimately motivated by fear.

The unholy masculine are all the ways in which we attempt to have power over ourselves and/or others through acts of coercion, bullying, manipulating through fear and insecurity (think advertising and the media), trying to “make things happen,” forcing outcomes, agendas, our own will, etc.

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The unholy masculine ultimately arises in response to our wholesale rejection of all that we perceive in ourselves as weakness, vulnerability, imperfection, helplessness, powerlessness, etc. Often this rejection of self isn’t even known, but is instead projected onto others, resulting in behavior patterns where we reject “them” (think “the poor,” “the jobless and unemployed,” “homeless,” “disabled,” “sick,” etc.)  because of their “weakness” or “powerlessness”.  The irony is that when we are rejecting others for their “weakness” what we are really rejecting is the weak and vulnerable parts of ourselves, which we then mask with behaviors of power and control.

Let me tell you a little story to help illustrate the subtle and insidious nature of the unholy masculine, as I have experienced it within myself.

As a Type One on the Enneagram, the Perfectionist/Reformer, imperfection is not allowed – specifically, imperfection as I define it. Imperfection in my mind has been anything that has to do with my definition of weakness and includes such things as anxiety, depression, panic attacks, helplessness, neediness, illness.  Sadness, loneliness, and anger have also been included in the soup of what I had/have rejected in myself, and what I therefore rejected in others because I could not accept them in myself. In contrast to the weakness that was not allowed, what was allowed was my definition of perfect….which meant independent (self-sufficient), courageous, smart, strong, and accomplished – specifically accomplished.

If I was accomplishing tasks, achieving my goals, I was perfect and strong. Especially if I was accomplishing these goals in spite of my fears, my insecurities, my sadness, loneliness….and later…anxiety, depression, panic attacks and SHEER EXHAUSTION. For most of my life, I rejected these parts of myself so much that I didn’t even know they existed.  (My Chi Qong master once observed, “Lauri, I sometimes think the only way you are making it from day to day is simply by force of your own will.”  Yep…she had me pegged!)

Accomplishing arose out of Doing, therefore “doing” was “good” and “not doing” was bad. Enjoyment, for the simple sake of enjoyment was also not allowed – because enjoyment did not equal “doing.”  Besides, enjoyment is only allowed after the doing is done, and the “doing” is never done – there is always something else I could/should be doing to accomplish my goals and complete my tasks.

THIS is the UNHOLY MASCULINE – suppressing the parts of myself I had rejected by means of power and control, forcing myself to DO and ACCOMPLISH because this is what I perceived to be of value and what I believed it meant to be perfect.

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As it turns out, all of this “DOING” for the sake of “ACCOMPLISHING” was mostly done in opposition to what my Soul actually needed and wanted. On occasion, my Soul would let me know this by casting me into a pit of profound “weakness.”  In high school it was two bouts with mono, in college it was chronic migraines, in midlife, anxiety, depression and panic attacks.  Most recently, it started with a MASSIVE virus that turned into an ear infection leading to vertigo, which then led to anxiety and depression, even panic attacks– the effects of which I am still struggling with today (hint….”struggling” is another manifestation of the unholy masculine).

THIS is the UNHOLY MASCULINE….and I am not the only one guilty of this behavior. In fact, the Unholy Masculine is what is wrong with our culture and it is the Unholy Masculine that is killing us.

  • Every time we act in opposition to our Soul,.
  • Every time we FORCE ourselves or others to do something, through coercion, bullying, manipulating through fear or by triggering insecurities.
  • Every time we JUDGE parts of ourselves as weak, worthless, unworthy, imperfect, bad, and then reject these in ourselves.
  • When we project our judgment of ourselves or our rejection of ourselves onto others.
  • When we bully, intimidate, try to “make something happen,” force ourselves or others into situations that are in opposition to their Soul.
  • When life feels like a struggle, a fight, a war.
  • When our relationships feel like a struggle.
  • Every time we treat ourselves or others in ways that are non-loving or unkind…

We are engaging in the Unholy Masculine.

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The key to healing ourselves and therefore our culture of the Unholy Masculine begins with identifying and learning to love all the parts of ourselves we had previously rejected:

  • Our perceived weakness (which often turn out to be our greatest gifts).
  • Our vulnerabilities.
  • Our needs, wants, desires.
  • Our past hurts and unhealed wounds.
  • Our losses, our sorrows and our grief.
  • Our aging, changing bodies.
  • The ways in which our looks don’t measure up to what Victoria’s Secret or GQ Magazine tells us is the ideal.
  • Our mental, physical, emotional and spiritual “illnesses”.
  • Our past traumas, and broken hearts.
  • Our emotions.
  • Our thoughts.
  • The unique way in which our Soul NEEDS to move about this world.

As we come to accept these in ourselves, we come to accept them in others, the result of which is loving behavior toward ourselves and loving behaviors toward others.

In this we transform the unholy masculine to the HOLY MASCULINE – providing, protecting and supporting through kind and loving acts, which is exactly what I am off to do for myself this day. Game of Thrones, Season 3, here I come!