Posted in Initiation, teachers

Who is “The Man?”

In today’s blog, I share with you a strange phenomenon that I am hearing about from clients and have admittedly experienced myself….this phenomenon has been described by all as “the man.”  Who is “the man” and is this experience limited to women?  Please share with me your experiences of “the man” if you have had them.



My Experience with “the Man”

As I put finger to keyboard, I feel every fiber of my being contracting in resistance, afraid to share this story for fear of being recognized as COMPLETELY INSANE!  I have since had many female clients share with me stories similar to my own, so either we are all nuts…or this is some sort of universal experience…or at least a significant part of some women’s spiritual journeys (apologies ahead of time to the men, for I have only heard of this experience from women…if you are having similar experiences, please let me know and I will add an addendum to this blog!)  For me it started in an experience of guided meditation.  The gist of it is that somewhere in the midst of the meditation, I suddenly found myself standing before a man.  The man was strikingly handsome (according to my own personal criteria anyway), but what was most significant was the way he looked at me….he gazed at me with the look of pure, adoring, passionate, unconditional love.  I was held spellbound and something broke open in me under that gaze that compelled me on a spiritual journey that has completely altered the course of my life. Ironically, or coincidently for me, “the Man” looked a lot like the 1970’s portrait of Jesus that I call “Hot Jesus” or alternatively, like Viggo Mortenson as Aragorn in Lord of the Rings.  (hubba hubba)

The Temptation

The crazy part of the appearance of “the man”, (and this part seems to be universal), is the temptation to think…..”Oh, here is the guy that is going to love me beyond reason, he is my soulmate, my twinflame, my spiritual equal, my partner, etc. etc. etc.   This is the guy that will finally make me happy.”  Now, the appearance of “the man” may alert us to things in our personal, intimate relationships that are not fulfilling, life-giving, supportive of who we are and who we are called to be, but the temptation is in believing that there is some “one guy” out there that will provide all these things.  (and maybe there is…who am I to proclaim the ultimate outcome of “the man’s” appearance.) I’m just saying the temptation is to fall into that compulsive search for someone “out there” who is going to make us whole, complete us, give us emotional, spiritual and physical fulfillment.  And…apparently everyone who meets “the man” spends at least some time languishing in this search.

The Teacher

Another part of the journey with “the man” seems to be about “the teacher”.  In Jana Dixon’s story, “the teacher” was an actually living, breathing, walking human that she met after her initial dreams of “the man” and who bore a striking resemblance to “the man”.  For me, it was about Jesus.  For Jana, she found resources of growth, spiritual tools for transformation and healing through the work of her “teacher”.  For me, it was through Jesus that these tools were revealed.  I spent time in prayer with him, read and prayed with scripture, read books on Jesus and his life from sources outside of scripture.  In my mind, Jesus was my beloved (and in truth, still is), and I was his.  This journey with the teacher, however, is ultimately not about the teacher, but about the inner spiritual growth that you experience through the teacher’s experience, wisdom, insight, guidance.  The goal here is not co-dependency with the teacher, but empowerment through them. 

The Higher Invitation

According to Jana Dixon (Biology of Kundalini), “The Man” show us to wake us up and to initiate us on our spiritual journey toward awakened enlightenment and inner fulfillment.  “The Man” appears to show us the parts of ourselves that are unrealized and unintegrated, then invites us on to the path of searching, discovering, embracing all the parts of ourselves so that we can remember that the truest source of fulfillment is within.  “The Man” is not about the call to find our outside soulmate, but to rediscover the soulmate within, to find Oneness within ourselves and to know the harmony and fulfillment of self-knowledge and integration that is our truest and most original nature. 

Where have you met “the man” in your own journey?

How are you being invited to be open to your own inner fulfillment through the process of self-discovery and integration?

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries