In today’s blog, I will explore worry, compulsive planning and the need to fix other people’s stuff as obstacles to our own journey of awakening, spiritual growth and enlightenment.
It is none of your business!
There seems to be a theme emerging as I move through this stage of my own personal growth and transformation. As I have been moving through this process of divorce and its accompanying professional and spiritual transformations, the words that keep showing up for me are:
It is none of your business!
What is peculiar is that these words keep showing up and they are showing up in seemingly unrelated areas. If you read yesterday’s blog, you know that these words showed up on Sunday as God and my God Squad offered their response to my spiritual temper tantrum that effectively put them all on notice. When I wonder how everything will work out, their unanimous response was, “Lauri, it is none of your business.” This was also the answer nearly one year ago when it was revealed to me in a very clear and obvious way that my husband of nearly 15 years and I needed to divorce. I asked the powers that be, “How am I going to make a living and support my family?” The loud and clear response (in a little more colorful language), “It is none of your damn business.”
The Inner Planner
My friend, Karen accuses me of having a freak brain. I remember really weird things and can seemingly pull trivial data out of thin air. Accompanying this “gift” is the ability to think of more than one thing at a time. I know science suggests that this is impossible, but I can attest to the fact that I can indeed think of at least two if not three things at once. While this may be a gift in some ways, it also proves to be a curse because my brain is rarely quiet. The curse is that a fair share of the busy activity of my brain is planning. On some level, my brain is constantly planning, what I’m going to do, how I’m going to do it and while it is at it, it seeks to find the answers and solutions to all of my life challenges. Another word for this constant inner planning might be worry. I suspect that this constant inner planning and figuring is some sort of attempt to feel safe and secure in an otherwise insecure world. The Divine is reminding me in the words, “It is none of your business,” to be content in the unknowing and trust that the universe has a higher plan….one far better than what I could ever create for myself.
The Inner Fixer
The other area where “It is none of your business” was recently revealed to me through my work with Julie Tallard Johnson and her Wheel of Initiation. One of things we are invited to let go of in the Wheel is our compulsion to carry another person’s shadow. What this means is that instead of tending to our own junk, we spend time judging others and in some cases, trying to “fix” the things within them that we deem broken. I am raising my hand in admittance of my guilt in this area! I have spent a large portion of my life observing the brokenness of others (especially family members) and planning how they can fix their brokenness and then offering my “expertise” and assistance in helping them fix their problems. Julie would remind me that all this energy spent in trying to fix another is energy taken away from my ability to embrace my highest truth and my greatest joy. It is also energy taken away from the only person I can truly fix….and that is ME! The more time I spend trying to fix others, the less time I have to enjoy my gifts and my passions….my purpose in this world. The mantra Julie offers when we come face to face with this temptation to carry and try to fix the shadow of another is “It is none of my business.” Yep, there is definitely a theme going on! So, here’s a great song to remind us: “It’s none of your business!”
Where do you find yourself tempted to plan, fix things, figure it out?
How much time do you spend in worry?
Where are you guilty of carrying the shadow of another or trying to fix another?
How might, “It is none of your business” be a helpful reminder for you?
Authentic Freedom Ministries