Posted in Lessons, Spiritual Practices

It is None of Your Business

In today’s blog, I will explore worry, compulsive planning and the need to fix other people’s stuff as obstacles to our own journey of awakening, spiritual growth and enlightenment.

It is none of your business!

There seems to be a theme emerging as I move through this stage of my own personal growth and transformation.  As I have been moving through this process of divorce and its accompanying professional and spiritual transformations, the words that keep showing up for me are:

It is none of your business!

What is peculiar is that these words keep showing up and they are showing up in seemingly unrelated areas.  If you read yesterday’s blog, you know that these words showed up on Sunday as God and my God Squad offered their response to my spiritual temper tantrum that effectively put them all on notice.  When I wonder how everything will work out, their unanimous response was, “Lauri, it is none of your business.” This was also the answer nearly one year ago when it was revealed to me in a very clear and obvious way that my husband of nearly 15 years and I needed to divorce.  I asked the powers that be, “How am I going to make a living and support my family?”  The loud and clear response (in a little more colorful language), “It is none of your damn business.”


The Inner Planner

My friend, Karen accuses me of having a freak brain.  I remember really weird things and can seemingly pull trivial data out of thin air.  Accompanying this “gift” is the ability to think of more than one thing at a time.  I know science suggests that this is impossible, but I can attest to the fact that I can indeed think of at least two if not three things at once.  While this may be a gift in some ways, it also proves to be a curse because my brain is rarely quiet.  The curse is that a fair share of the busy activity of my brain is planning.  On some level, my brain is constantly planning, what I’m going to do, how I’m going to do it and while it is at it, it seeks to find the answers and solutions to all of my life challenges.  Another word for this constant inner planning might be worry. I suspect that this constant inner planning and figuring is some sort of attempt to feel safe and secure in an otherwise insecure world.  The Divine is reminding me in the words, “It is none of your business,” to be content in the unknowing and trust that the universe has a higher plan….one far better than what I could ever create for myself.

The Inner Fixer

The other area where “It is none of your business” was recently revealed to me through my work with Julie Tallard Johnson and her Wheel of Initiation. One of things we are invited to let go of in the Wheel is our compulsion to carry another person’s shadow.  What this means is that instead of tending to our own junk, we spend time judging others and in some cases, trying to “fix” the things within them that we deem broken.  I am raising my hand in admittance of my guilt in this area!  I have spent a large portion of my life observing the brokenness of others (especially family members) and planning how they can fix their brokenness and then offering my “expertise” and assistance in helping them fix their problems.  Julie would remind me that all this energy spent in trying to fix another is energy taken away from my ability to embrace my highest truth and my greatest joy.  It is also energy taken away from the only person I can truly fix….and that is ME!  The more time I spend trying to fix others, the less time I have to enjoy my gifts and my passions….my purpose in this world.  The mantra Julie offers when we come face to face with this temptation to carry and try to fix the shadow of another is “It is none of my business.” Yep, there is definitely a theme going on!  So, here’s a great song to remind us:   “It’s none of your business!”

Where do you find yourself tempted to plan, fix things, figure it out?

How much time do you spend in worry?

Where are you guilty of carrying the shadow of another or trying to fix another?

How might, “It is none of your business” be a helpful reminder for you?


Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries


Posted in Healing, Initiation, Lessons

Continuing the Wheel of Initiation

Week Two of the Wheel of Initiation, the book and the process by one of my teachers, Julie Tallard Johnson.  Ending agreements, releasing my pain story and continuing to integrate my intention as part of my own process of spiritual growth and enlightenment.

Ending Agreements

This has been a fantastic voyage moving through Julie Tallard Johnson’s book, Wheel of Initiation – Practices for Releasing Your Inner Light.  While I have read and moved through many books on spiritual growth and transformation, and now written my own (Authentic Freedom – Claiming a Life of Contentment and Joy being released this April!), Julie’s book has provided a depth and some fresh insights that I needed at this point in my journey.  One of those depth pieces is the invitation to end agreements that support our pain story. As I shared last week, my pain story is rejection. Here are a few of the agreements that I have discovered support my pain story:

  • I don’t trust myself  – my dreams, visions, hopes, decisions, etc.
  • I have to be perfect in order to be accepted and loved
  • It is my job to make ________ happy so that they will accept me
  • I have to carry the shadow of __________ so that they will accept me
  • It is my job to save, cure, help __________ because if I do, they will accept me
  • There is a right answer and a wrong answer and if I get the wrong answer, I will be rejected

These agreements and other like them keep me imprisoned by my own fear of rejection.  In the Wheel of Initiation, we are invited to let go of these agreements so that we can allow our pain story to be healed, thus embodying more and more fully the intention that presented itself to me as I entered into the Wheel.  My intention?  I receive everything as love.

The Power of Observation

What I have been reminded of in the Wheel is that as I state this intention, life will present to me an abundant number of opportunities to put this intention into practice.  And has it ever!!!!!!!   Every day, I find myself confronted by opportunity after opportunity to make a choice – do I continue to choose my pain story or do I embrace my new intention?  What has helped me in this process is again something that Julie promotes: observation! Instead of reacting to life’s circumstances, we are invited in the Wheel to simply observe.  Watch and Listen.  Where is my pain story being triggered and where can I choose a different agreement?

Recognizing the Pain Story

When I find myself in a situation where I could choose my pain story, it is pretty obvious – I start feeling anxious, closed in, I begin to feel small, my mind begins to race and I doubt myself.  I feel a tug from somewhere deep inside me that seems to be drawing my own power and energy out of me as I am tempted to give it away to somebody else.  This tug I can actually feel on the physical level.  All these have served as red flags to me that my pain story and its supporting agreements are being triggered.  So, instead of my normal reactionary stance to these flags, I have decided to stop, observe and wait.  Then, I take some time for myself to reflect:

  • How is this related to my pain story?
  • What are the agreements I’ve made in this situation, with this person, that support my pain story?
  • How am I being invited to release these agreements?
  • How can I now receive this situation instead as love?

A Work in Progress

Yes, I am a teacher of spiritual things.  I have written my own book on spiritual transformation and facilitate a process of spiritual growth and transformation for adults.  And….I am still a work in progress.  Happy to learn.  Happy to grow.  Happy to be in the company of other teachers who help me to continue to heal so that in turn, I can be a more open vessel through which Divine love can be revealed in the world.  So, Thanks Julie, I’m having a great time working the Wheel!

What is your pain story?

What are the agreements that support this story?

How are you being invited to release these agreements?

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries