Posted in Authentic Freedom, Freedom

Freedom from Fear Flash Sale

Spiritual healing is about learning to identify and then healing our inner fears.  Authentic Freedom Academy offers a wide range of resources to support you in this endeavor toward your spiritual healing.  Enjoy this special offer of some of our most popular tools for your spiritual healing:

Freedom from Fear FLASH SALE!

 offer ends Sunday, 2/4/18 at 11:59 pm

Purchase the “Freedom from Fear” Course Bundle for $175.00 and get all four courses below….a savings of over $90.00! 

Healing our Religious Wounds, Rite of the Sepulchre, Demon Binding and Banishing Ritual and our foundational Authentic Freedom course.

Buy it by clicking on Paypal link below:

Once payment is received you will be manually added to each of the courses included in the bundle and you will be notified via email of confirmed registration.

*Click on images below for full descriptions of each course.

*Authentic Freedom – Claiming a Life of Contentment and Joy is a required reading for the Authentic Freedom course.  The book is not included in the bundled price above.  It is available in paperback and Kindle through Amazon.  

Spiritual Healing - Healing Demons


Posted in Discernment, Inspiration, Lessons, Spiritual Practices, teachers, temptation

“Satan’s” Impeccable Timing

Lessons on confronting the adversary…


Saturday morning I was reminded that Satan is real. “He” showed up on my doorstep in the person condemning me to hell for, in so many words, being a witch.  I’m not talking about the anthropomorphic white guy in the red morph suit sporting horns on his head and wielding a pitch fork while threatening the unbaptized with an eternity in hell, or worse – demonic possession.  I’m talking about the REAL Satan…..the one that dwells within each of us and which often gets projected outside of us in persons and experiences that remind us of where we have forgotten we are love.

Since I can no longer believe in a place called hell and I suspect what the ancients called possession was nothing more than medical conditions they did not yet understand and could not control…the only Satan I can believe in is the one who dwells within. Our Jewish ancestors would agree.  Satan is a Hebrew word after all and it means adversary – specifically, the adversary within – that which tempts us away from our original nature which is love.  The adversary shows up as we are drawing closer to the path of our Soul, to “God’s will” for us, and every time we take a step toward our Divine calling.  The adversary shows up to challenge us: “Are you sure about this? Are you really committed to following your Divine calling and the path of meaning and fulfillment that you were born to accomplish? Are you truly committed to being the Love that God is calling you to be?”

So when Satan showed up on my doorstep via email Saturday morning, I was not surprised. In fact, I should have been expecting him and had some coffee and cookies out waiting for him. For you see…..I have recently taken ENORMOUS steps closer to my Soul’s calling.  I said yes to the Divine invitation to simplify my life and recently completed a physical move which required the letting go, not only of physical possessions, but the letting go of my home office and classroom, the life I had been living for the past 6 (or maybe 20) years and all the titles, associations, plans, contrivances, etc. etc. etc. I had created around that life.  I had to be done making plans and simply enter into the void allowing the Universe to carry me…..which it has.  I had to let it all go so I could be open to SOMETHING AMAZING I GUESS…..that I don’t yet know and hasn’t yet been manifest.  Though there have been glimpses:

Our new home.  To say I love it would be an understatement.  A home that I came by in a magical way (as I always do) and which even more perfectly fits my vibe, my energy, my wants, needs and desires than the place we had been living.  It is a place that reflects my heart and I could not be more thrilled. (and my kids like it too).

A side gig. In the midst of this transition and literally in the middle of the move, an opportunity for a side-gig showed up. As a “friend of the millennials” it makes perfect sense that I have an opportunity to live as they live……one job among many so they/we can do their/our passion. Enter…..side gig….one with the potential for further involvement using my truest gifts.

A new book. What would a crisis be in the life of Lauri Lumby without a book coming out of it? I was as surprised as my readers to see another book coming forth ready for publishing.  Available NOW on Amazon!!!!!

A secret. Another development which I will keep close to my heart. I’ll just say that if this is what I think it might be, it would be the fulfillment of a lifelong dream and something I have worked very hard toward accomplishing/receiving.  (cue Disney)

With all of this, of course Satan showed up at my front door. As always, his timing is impeccable.  He showed up to challenge me.  He showed up triggering unhealed wounds.  He showed up to test my resolve.  He showed up hoping to make me afraid so that I might quit “the evil” work I am doing in the world.  And I did what the REAL Satan calls us to do….I met him toe to toe, eye to eye, heart to heart.  Yes Satan, I see you.  And YES I am sure about the LOVE I am doing in the world.  And your fear will not stop me.  Thank you for showing up and telling me how truly magnificent the things that are unfolding in my life.  The fact that you are here tells me that something amazing is already happening.  Thank you.



Posted in Authentic Freedom, Authentic Freedom Book, Being Human, Freedom, Inspiration, Lessons, self-actualization, Spiritual Practices

When Our Fears Come Back to Haunt Us

Image Credit -
Image Credit –

The purpose of the human journey is growth. We grow physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually.  Physical growth and aspects of mental(cognitive) growth are automatic.  In order to grow emotionally, psychologically and spiritually, we need engagement – both from outside of us and from within ourselves.  On many levels, emotional, psychological and spiritual growth is a matter of choice.  We choose if and how we want to support ourselves in this growth and what kind of help we are willing to receive in support of that growth.

When we choose to say YES to the opportunity for emotional, psychological and spiritual growth, the journey is limitless. There are forever opportunities for growth and we always have a choice as to whether or not we want to accept that growth.  An ENORMOUS part of this kind of growth is facing and moving through our fears and the unhealed wounds that are the cause of these fears. There are two ways in which these fears come up for us and two ways to find healing and release for these fears.

Fear comes up for us each and every day. Fears about money, food, clothing, shelter.  Fears about our place in the world, our purpose, our search for fulfillment.  Fears about taking action and fears around feeling powerless.  Fear of rejection and not being loved or having a place of belonging.  Fears of not knowing our path, our purpose, how to find guidance and direction in our lives.  And the fear that we are alone.  These fears come up for us each and every day.  Our job is to identify them (which isn’t always easy), and then find ways to move through these fears, sometimes healing them along the way.  I developed Authentic Freedom specifically for this purpose.  For more on a proactive approach for dealing with fear, read my book, or take my online class.


The other way fear shows up is as part of an organic process by which we are being transformed from within – a process by which we are being filled with love and light and as we are being filled with this love and light, our fears and unhealed wounds are being pushed out. It was exactly this kind of fear that showed up for me this past week.  I suddenly found myself face to face with a parade of the fears that I return to again and again and again for healing and release – fears about money, fears about my purpose, fears about my direction in my life, doubting the path I’m on and wondering if it really is time to “get that real job.”  Also in that cesspool of fears is the one that taunts me for having been “irresponsible” and that suggests I might really be crazy.”  UGH!

This is the darkness I spoke about in yesterday’s blog. Darkness that feels impenetrable.  Darkness that feels like FOREVER.  Darkness that feels like it will never end and that there is NO WAY OUT.  As I found myself writhing in agony in this darkness, letting the fears and relentless taunting thoughts of my mind confuse and overwhelm me, I had no choice but to WALLOW in it.  There was no way to push through it.  No way to make it go away.  My only choice was to SURRENDER to the darkness, ACCEPT its presence and let it have its way with me.  THIS is where the HEALING took place.  After surrendering to the fears, and letting them have their way with me…..they simply went away.  And then it hit me…..DUH!  These fears were not FOREVER.  Neither was the darkness.  Instead, in exactly the same way as I experience it while receiving a Reiki treatment, and as my clients experience it, the fears were surfacing, not because I was truly afraid, but because they were passing through my consciousness as they were on their WAY OUT.  They were surfacing as a result of healing energy that had been filling me and finding their way out.  What I perceived as darkness was really my fears saying “goodbye.”

What tools are you using to support yourself in moving through and healing your fears?

Posted in Agape Project, Authentic Freedom, Being Human, Spiritual Practices, The Seven Deadly Compulsions, Virtual Church

Weeds and Wheat – Virtual Church Meditation Supplement

Please find below the Authentic Freedom Virtual Church meditation supplement for Sunday, July 20, 2014.  The theme this week is embracing the weeds in our garden – how to see our perceived weakness, imperfections, humanness as vehicles for healing and growth.  Only in being human can we truly be a source of support for others in their own journey toward love.

 Agape’ Meditation Practices Newsletter

Supplement to the Authentic Freedom Virtual Church Service


Scripture Reading:

Jesus proposed another parable to the crowds, saying: “The kingdom of heaven may be likened to a man who sowed good seed in his field. While everyone was asleep his enemy came and sowed weeds all through the wheat, and then went off. When the crop grew and bore fruit, the weeds appeared as well. The slaves of the householder came to him and said, ‘Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? Where have the weeds come from?’ He answered, ‘An enemy has done this.’ His slaves said to him, ‘Do you want us to go and pull them up?’ He replied, ‘No, if you pull up the weeds you might uproot the wheat along with them. Let them grow together until harvest; then at harvest time I will say to the harvesters, “First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles for burning; but gather the wheat into my barn.”’”

Matthew 13: 24-30


Additional Readings: 

Wis 12: 13, 16-19

Ps 86: 5-6, 9-10, 15-16

Rom 8: 26-27


Weeds and Wheat

We are the seeds of wheat that God has planted on the earth. The weeds are the fears that arise out of us as a natural consequence of choosing the human condition. In choosing the human condition, we chose to temporarily experience ourselves as separate from God and it is this perceived separation that that causes us fear. Fear, then, causes us to act in non-loving ways towards ourselves and others, resulting in the compulsions and “sins” of humanity.

We are often tempted to judge our fears and condemn ourselves for these perceived imperfections. Today’s gospel reminds us the value of allowing the imperfections to remain. Like wildflowers that are planted with seeds of rye, we need the weeds to help us to grow. Spiritually, we are strengthened by coming to know our fears and by turning toward God as a source of support for transcending and moving through our fears. As is true of all things that grow, we need the resistance of the weeds to help us move toward our spiritual maturity where we remember our Oneness with God, within ourselves, with each other and with all of creation.

Where are you tempted to judge or condemn yourself for your humanness?


How can you become the witness of your fears instead of the judge? How does this allow you to move through your fears instead of staying in them through resistance?


Spiritual Practices – Examen

Examen is traditionally the practice of reflecting on all the ways in which we have “sinned” or turned away from God. In this adaptation of an Ignatian (St. Ignatius of Loyola) practice, we explore the ways in which our imperfections and perceived failures have helped us to grow.

  1. Set aside 15-20 minutes for this practice.
  2. Sit quietly for a few moments in preparation.
  3. As you sit quietly, allow your mind to turn toward all the things about yourself you are tempted to judge as imperfect, compulsive or even sinful.
  4. In the fashion of brainstorming, make a list of the things about yourself you judge as negative or imperfect. Write them on a sheet of paper, allowing the writing to help other ideas come forth.
  5. Stop writing when nothing else comes forth from your mind.
  6. Go back and read the list you just wrote.
  7. Choose one item on the list and reflect on how this perceived imperfection has helped you to grow spiritually:
  • How has this imperfection caused you to turn toward God for help/healing?
  • How have you grown through your attempts to heal/resolve this imperfection?
  • How have your learned humility through this imperfection?


Authentic Freedom

As a recovering perfectionist, I have grown from condemning my perfectionist to seeing it as a vehicle through which God has invited me to heal and grow. I am now more aware of my temptation to judge myself and others too harshly, I am able to embrace the high standards I have set for myself and others while allowing myself to be more relaxed and less critical of my own humanness as well as the humanness of others. Learning to be accepting of my own humanness has allowed me to be a better source of love and support for others.

Authentic Freedom reminds us that each of us are uniquely gifted in the way we are called to reveal God’s love in the world and that often, the most important way in which we are called to be God’s love is through our fears, our compulsions and our perceived imperfections. Being a “wounded healer” allows us to have empathy and compassion for others in the face of the human condition. Accepting the “weeds” in our own garden, help us to grow so that we can be a support for others as they are trying to grow.

What are the weeds in your garden and how are you called to see the gift in what you are otherwise tempted to judge as negative?

Posted in Spiritual Direction, Spiritual Formation

Special Offer on Spiritual Direction

I know that these have been difficult times for many people, especially financially.  As such, I am offering a special reduced rate on my Spiritual Direction services at least through the end of August.  The special rate is $60.00 per hour and sessions are available in person, over the phone and via Skype.  To book a Spiritual Direction session, email me at or call (920) 230-1313.  Below…..what the heck is Spiritual Direction anyway? (PS  I’m not a psychic!)



What is Spiritual Direction?

The ministry of Spiritual Direction is difficult to explain because it can take on so many different qualities.  It looks a little like therapy because there is a lot of talking involved and the topics that do come up might be the same as the topics you would bring to a therapy session:  grief, life transitions, seeking direction, relationship struggles, recovery, etc.  Spiritual Direction, however is dramatically different from therapy in its intention, direction and desired outcome.  The primary focus of Spiritual Direction is to help you get in touch with the voice of truth within yourself and to move through the obstacles to living that truth. 

Sounds pretty fancy and esoteric, right?  To put it into theistic terms (God), Spiritual Direction provides you with the tools to

  • Know God
  • Know yourself
  • Uncover your own unique giftedness and to find ways to live that out in the world

Ultimately, Spiritual Direction is NOT about talking.  It is about listening….and my job as a Spiritual Director is to help you learn to hear your own truth and to give you tools to move through the fears that may be blocking your ability to hear and live that truth.  To give you some examples, here are the things Spiritual Direction has helped me to hear and move toward embracing:

  • I heard the call to pursue training as a Lay Minister, Spiritual Director and Reiki Master Practitioner and Spiritual Direction helped me move through the fears that had previously kept me from these roles.
  • I came to understand that I had been gifted as a writer and was called to share my writing publicly (through this blog and through my published books)
  • Spiritual Direction gave me the tools to move through the fears and pain of being rejected by my church for standing in the call that God had given me (Reiki, Contemplative Practices, my books)
  • Spiritual Direction helped me to see that my marriage had come to an irreparable end and that divorce was necessary
  • Spiritual Direction helped me to release past resentments, hurts and betrayals that were blocking my ability to being open to healthy intimacy with friends, family, loved ones.
  • Spiritual Direction helped me to identify behaviors, perceptions, etc. that were keeping me from living a joyful and contented life.
  • Spiritual Direction helped me to find tools that have deepened my relationship with the Source of peace (that I call God), and have allowed me to experience more peace in my life.
  • Spiritual Direction helps me to receive Divine guidance more clearly with less confusion and doubt.
  • Spiritual Direction has helped me to listen, hear, receive, BELIEVE and live my truth more authentically and with less fear.

In a nutshell….Spiritual Direction is really cool……and the best part is that it is EMPOWERING!!!!  You are the one doing the work.  I am just standing as witness, helping you to hear the things that you can’t hear yourself.  In this way, the responsibility of Spiritual Direction ultimately lies with you….I am just the witness.  And while I have been accused of being able to “hear the truth beyond the words,” I am not psychic.  I’m just listening and helping you to do the same.

Shameless Self-Promotion

To learn more about Spiritual Direction, click on the following link:

And know that I provide Spiritual Direction in person, via phone and Skype.  If you are interested in exploring Spiritual Direction as something that may be helpful in your own journey, call me at (920) 230-1313 or email:   Thanks!

Posted in Inspiration, Lessons

The Story of the Sunflower Seed

Today’s blog explores the need for time to be in the darkness before new life can sprout and grow.

Peeking Out

I received an email today from a young woman who found this blog through a spiritual community website of which I am an active participant.  She shared with me the spiritual experiences she is having at this time and interestingly, they directly reflect the experiences I have been having.  (I love how we find community when we most need it!)  As I read her narrative, I was reminded of an image that has shown up for me as I have allowed myself this time of retreat….stepping away from my day-to-day obligations of writing, work, family, home, tasks, chores, etc. etc. etc. to DO NOTHING and SIMPLY BE.  Here is what the image looked like:

The Story of the Sunflower Seed

Once upon a time, there was a ripening seed head of a great and majestic sunflower.  Somewhere in the middle of that crowded seedhead, one seed slowly pushed its way past its brothers and sisters.   It was simply getting too crowded with all those plumping seeds being squeezed together.  Before readying herself for THE BIG LEAP, the seed took a deep breath, gathering all her courage around her, and in one final push, shoved her way out from the crowded seedhead and catapulted into the empty air.  Screaming at once with terror and exhilaration, she fell through the light-filled void to the growd below.  PLOP.  She hit the ground with a thud.  And then she realized……”Now what?  Now that I’m free from the seedhead, now what?  Who am I if not a member of the seedhead?  Who am I if I’m not being crowded between my brothers and sisters?  Who am I out here on my own?”  Then a bright red cardinal flew down to the ground beside her and answered her question, “Well, you are a Sunflower of course!” She was startled by his answer as she had only known herself to be a seed among a million other seeds.  The cardinal then scooped her up into his beak, flew to another spot in the field, scraped a little hole in the dirt and plopped her into the ground.  He then covered her with dirt and said, “Now wait right here.  Before you know it, you will no longer be a seed.  You will become the Sunflower that God made you to be.”  And then he flew away.  The seed grew quiet.  And as the cardinal had instructed, she waited.  She waited as she felt the cool dirt around her and the warmth of the sun as it passed over her from dawn til dusk.  She waited as the drank the water that periodically filled the dirt around her.  She waited.  She rested.  She slept.  Then one day, just as suddenly as the crowded feeling that had propelled her from the seedhead of the majestic sunflower, she felt her body begin to quiver and shake, pulse and vibrate.  She felt as if she was being torn in two…..for that is exactly what was happening.  In a fraction of a moment, the seed that she had always known herself to be suddenly fell away and she saw that she was now a bright green stalk, with tiny roots that began to reach deep into the soil, with arms of green that began to reach through the dirt and up toward the sun above.  She was no longer the seed, but the beginnings of that which would soon become the majestic sunflower, just as the cardinal said she would be.

Moral of the Story

The moral of the story of the sunflower seed is simple.  We need to remember that often, the greatest growth, the greatest movement, the deepest transformation happens when we are DOING NOTHING!  Like the seed that becomes the sunflower as it is asleep in the dirt, we too need time to rest in the darkness while our DNA, God, the Universe, does whatever it needs to do in the darkness of mystery to create our transformation.  We need do nothing but simply rest as God does the rest.  And like the seed, one day we will suddenly realize that we are no longer who we thought ourselves to be, instead, we are who God made us to be.

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries

Posted in Empowerment, Inspiration, world changes

Are You a Wayseer?

On this road to spiritual growth and enlightenment, working toward embracing our highest self and thereby creating a better world, we are NOT alone!  In today’s blog, I share support for readers who may find themselves in the midst of the Wayseer’s journey.  Are you a Wayseer and thereby a Wayshower?

The Wayseer Manifesto

Several months ago, a brilliant video found its way across my desk.  The video is entitled, “The Wayseer Manifesto” and is the creative brainchild of Garret John LoPorto.  I found Garrett John’s video to be inspiring, affirming and just plain fun.  As someone who has always lived on the edge of challenging “assumed” truths, and has always been compelled to question perceived “authority,” I found in Garrett John’s video a reminder that I am not alone.  This morning, I received an email from the Wayseer Manifesto site that reminded me of the Wayseer’s path in the following words:

Dear Lauri,

You are amazing. Many don’t get your Wayseer nature; 
but rest assured …
The Wayseer experience is no more than this:
A heroic soul born inhumanely open 
desperately yearning to express their truth.

To you … a touch is a blow, a slight is a persecution,  
a connection is an ecstasy, a friend is a devotion, a daydream is a 
premonition, strictness is suffocation, and completion is death.

Add to your brutally sensitive soul the overwhelming need to 
create, express, heal and transform  —  so that without the
of honest truth, the creating of music or poetry or something of 
meaning your very breath is cut off …

You must create or disrupt – you must pour out your entire being
in each and every encounter. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency
you never feel truly alive unless you are risking everything to  
express a dangerous truth you know inside.

Thank you for having the courage to create… 
to transform… 
to be yourself unapologetically.

For without your courage the world darkens 
and suffers the absence of your light
and the rest of us Wayseers who are like you
would not have your courageous acts to lift us
and inspire our own.

Rise up, 
Garret John LoPorto

I share these words with you today because I suspect that many, if not all of you, (my readers that is), may be Wayseers on some level.  If you have read the note above and found it to resonate with your soul, you just might be a Wayseer.  Know that you are not alone.  You are not insane.  You are not merely a sh..t disturber.  You are here for the very important reason of planetary transformation and evolution.  So, embrace the call.  Listen and act on your truth.  Help us make the world a more loving, peaceful and joyful place in which to live!  We deserve it!

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries


Posted in Lessons, Spiritual Formation

Reflections of Ourselves

There is a harsh, cruel truth in the nature of the human condition.  This truth is that what is going on outside of us is reflective of what is going on within.  The good news is that there just might be a benevolent Divine Source that sometimes breaks through and invites us to something different….if we have the courage to say “yes.” 

Smoke and Mirrors

There is a harsh truth that we begin to recognize as we move along the path of spiritual growth.  This truth is that what is going on outside of us is frequently reflective of what is going on within.  Let me give you a few examples.

  • If all we have ever known is dysfunction, co-dependency, abuse, emotional starvation….it is likely that our intimate relationships, friendships, etc. will reflect this and be co-dependent, abusive, emotionally bereft, etc.
  • If we loathe ourselves, we will find people in our lives who are happy to loathe us back.
  • If we are critical and judgmental of ourselves, we will draw to ourselves people who criticize and condemn us.

Got the picture?  This is a really hard truth to have to take a look at because it invites us to hold the mirror up to ourselves and ask the question, “What in me needs to be healed so that I can be open to external life experiences that are more kind, loving, tender, supportive, etc.?”

Accepting the Invitation to Growth

But what is cool about taking a look in that mirror is that we CAN heal and be transformed.  As we do the tough inner work of naming and giving up for healing our spiritual, emotional and mental wounds, we find greater balance, a deeper sense of wholeness, we become more content, peaceful, joyful and loving…..AND…..our external life experiences begin to reflect that.  We meet new people, cultivate new relationships, are given different professional opportunities that now reflect our healthier inner state, and that is really cool!  We also learn to say “no” to those things that are no longer reflective of the love and support that we now know we deserve.

Pop Culture Theology of Blame

As we begin to explore how our outer experiences reflect our inner terrain, there is one great temptation, however, and that is the temptation to blame.  “It is my fault if I don’t have loving supportive relationships around me.  I must be carrying the wrong thoughts, holding the wrong intention, etc. if all my life experiences are not reflective of peaceful contentment, joy and abundance.”  And, there are many so-called “spiritual” resources out there that will tell you just that.  The good news is that this is not really how it works.  Yes, our outer life is reflective of what is going on inside, AND there IS such a thing as Divine Timing and Divine Intervention.

Divine Intervention

So, let’s say that we feel really crappy about ourselves and observe that many of our relationships or life experiences reflect that.  HOWEVER… seems there is always someone or something that breaks the rule…..that stands out as an amazing source of support, nurturing, validation, when everything else around us seems to suck.  I have had many situations where someone came into my life and allowed me to see that something other than what I have known was possible.  These people have shown up as teachers, bosses, authors of books that have fallen into my lap, even people showing up in dreams to show me that there is another way, another path and another choice.  I didn’t “think the right thoughts” to get these people to show up….something else drew them to me……AND  I had to be open enough to see the message and receive it.

Divine Timing

Yeah, sometimes we do not get what we want when we want it.  We might think all the right thoughts, work our butts off to heal our old wounds, etc….and still peaceful contentment, joy, love, the supportive job, partner, etc. eludes us.  The pop-culture theology of blame would then have us to back, re-examine EVERY thought, intention, desire, exhume our wounds and look for what is left to heal, then go about working harder on ourselves.  But guess what….sometimes it is simply a matter of TIMING.  Something bigger than ourselves knows what is in our highest good and knows WHEN it is best for us to receive it.  Our job….to do the work, but to wait and trust that the fruits of the labor will show up in PERFECT DIVINE timing.  Not an easy task in an immediate gratification culture!

The Invitation:

The invitation, then, if we want a more contented, joyful, loving life?

  • Do the work of healing our inner selves
  • Be open to the outward transformation that will take place as a result of this work
  • Grieve the losses of those things that will naturally fall away (as they are no longer supportive of the “new you”)
  • Be open to Divine Intervention
  • Surrender to Divine Timing

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries

Posted in Discernment, Lessons

Truth Tantrums

As we move along the path of spiritual growth toward awakening and enlightenment, we grow in our ability to perceive, but more importantly, believe our truth.  Today’s blog reveals some of the dramatic ways in which truth will try to get our attention if we attempt to ignore or deny it. (PS for more on discerning truth, read chapters 7-9 of my book, Authentic Freedom – Claiming a Life of Contentment and Joy.) 



I Can See Clearly Now

Recently, a slew of truths have been revealed (or should I say confirmed?) to me.   These are the kinds of truths that would have a dramatic affect in anyone’s life should they also be faced with these truths.  Confirmation of these truths brought forth grief and I am grateful for the gifts of a benevolent universe that provided the space and the perfect companion with whom I could process through this grief, while providing a shoulder on which she too could process her own grief.  I know that the processing of these truths will continue to unfold, but as I stand either in the middle or on the other side of these truths, I can clearly see how my own inner self had been trying to get me to recognize and acknowledge these truths all along.  


Sneaking Suspicions

As I look back over the past several years, glimpses of these “newly revealed” truths have been present for a VERY LONG time.  A feeling in my gut, a sense that something was not right, questions answered with veiled responses, challenges met with protest or harsh condemnation…..all these were signposts to truths wanting to be known, but either denied, repressed or ignored.  Some point along this path came the doubt and the question of “Am I just crazy, irrational, untrusting?”  “Maybe I’m just bored and picking a fight.”  “It must be my fault, and my insanity…because that’s what they are saying.”  But then the sneaking sensation in my gut never went away and the feeling of unease simply increased.  Then came the tantrum….the truth stomping its feet and waving its hands…PAY ATTENTION…SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT IN DENMARK!!!!!


Truth Tantrums

This is probably not the case with all situations of depression and panic attack disorder, but when I look back with the 20/20 vision of hindsight, I now understand the TRUTH that was trying to get my attention.  Since I wasn’t paying attention to the more subtle clues of truth (or I wasn’t emotionally ready to handle the consequences of knowing these truths), my truth had to get louder, more forceful, it had to have a tantrum…and it sure did.  First was the FULL BLOWN panic attack…heart pounding, body trembling, sweat dripping, floor pacing, “I must be crazy” or “I’m having a heart attack and I’m going to die.”  If you’ve ever had a panic attack….you know what I mean.  If you haven’t, trust me when I say you DON’T want to know! Follow that up with a week-long, bed ridden migraine (migraines always follow panic attack for me).  Apparently that wasn’t enough…so here comes the DEPRESSION.  Blech.  Fast forward a few years after successful attempts to “control” the panic through alternative medicine, talk therapy, Spiritual Direction and a WHOLE LOT of inner work….but I still wasn’t listening (or emotionally ready).  After a life-changing, international, spiritual pilgrimage, my truth decided to redouble her efforts.  I SAW… KNEW… BELIEVED the truth that was trying to reveal itself to me while on this pilgrimage…but instead of acting (apparently still not emotionally ready) I went right back to my “normal” life.  To this I was awakened EVERY MORNING at 2am to the joyful  (I say this with sarcasm) experience of a full blown panic attack.  WAKE UP LAURI…..TIME TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE TRUTH.     Panic attack.  Migraines.  Depression….all vehicles through which the truth was trying to get my attention.  OK OK….I’m paying attention. 


What if we believed?

Prior to recent revelations, these truths have only been suspicions.  I had no validation, verification or affirmation of these truths.  All I could go on was a hunch and a prayer.  But now that all has been confirmed….I can look back in wonder at the dramatic ways in which our truth will try to get our attention….what would happen if we paid attention from the beginning?   What would happen if we trusted and believed in our truth instead of denying, questioning and doubting it?  I think from now on I will pay closer attention to my truth…it sure proved to be right!

Where have you had suspicions, a gut feeling, a sense of a truth or untruth trying to be revealed?

How have you responded to these intuitive clues?

How might you begin to listen more attentively to the subtle cues of truth?

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries