Posted in Healing, Inspiration

Cease from Blaming. Look to the Cause.

“It’s Donald Trump.”  “It’s guns.”  “It’s video games.”  It’s mental illness.”

Here we go, pointing the finger of blame at all those things outside of us that must be the reason a young white man killed 26 and wounded 20 in a shooting spree in El Paso.  Here we are, entering into the human knee-jerk reaction to violence – “it must be someone or something’s fault.”  Pointing the finger of blame does one of two things:

  • Places the burden of blame “out there” on someone else’s shoulder.
  • Gives us the illusion of innocence which allows us to go about our day.
  • Allows us to mask our grief and fear with self-righteousness.
  • Allows us to turn away from the event because if it is someone else’s fault, then someone else is responsible for fixing it.

Pointing the finger of blame does nothing to heal the problem.  Neither does it do the critical work of identifying the TRUE CAUSE of violence in our world.  The true cause has nothing to do with Donald Trump or any other politicians. It has nothing to do with guns or the NRA.  It certainly has nothing to do with video games.  And while mental illness has been a contributing factor in some of our nation’s mass shootings, when someone drives 9 hours and walks into a Wal-Mart wearing noise cancelling headphones and carrying an AK-47, he knows exactly what he is about to do and why.  Hatred is not a mental illness.

The truth is that WE ARE ALL TO BLAME for the hatred and violence that now seem to rule our nation.  As scripture says, “We reap what we sow,” – what do we think will happen when we have done everything to create separation in our world and nothing to bring us together?  But even then, we need to cease from blaming and instead look deep within ourselves for the cause and then work toward its cure.

As long as we are looking outside of ourselves or pointing the finger of blame, the violence in our world will continue.  The cause of violence is not outside of us, it is within. It is within us in our unacknowledged fears, unhealed wounds, unresolved traumas and in every single place within where we have forgotten that we are love.

The true cause of the violence and hatred in our world, and the cause of every other “sin” is the false perception of separation.  This false perception of separation is the core wound of humanity.  It is the primal fear that we first experienced when we were expelled from our mothers’ wombs and it is the fear that grows every single time we feel rejected, betrayed, unheard or unseen.  When our needs are not being met or when we are not supported in getting those needs met, we feel this fear.  When we suffer our first loss, we feel this fear.  When we experience trauma or abuse, we feel this fear.  This is the nature of the human condition.  Some have the tools for moving through and healing this fear.  Most do not.  We become resilient in the face of this core wound of humanity when we grow up in an environment where we feel safe and loved.  Many in our world do not have the benefit of experiencing this kind of love.  As a result, many (most) of humanity are the walking wounded – trying to make it through this life while burdened by the ongoing feeling of separation and fear. This is what breeds the violence in our world.  People.  Guns.  Video Games, etc. are merely vehicles through which these unhealed fears find their expression.  If we want to end violence, we first have to heal our fears.

Authentic Freedom Academy is here to support us in learning how to choose love in a world conditioned by fear.  We do this by providing education and training in identifying and then healing the fears that might otherwise cause us to act in non-loving ways toward our world, toward others and toward ourselves.  Learn more HERE.


Posted in Authentic Freedom


I know what Hell is like.

Hell is not hellfire and brimstone.

Hell is not the devil, Satan, Beelzebub or Lucifer.

Hell is not an army of possessing or torturing demons.

Hell is not the afterlife, the underworld, or a place somewhere “down there” where we spend an eternity suffering for the sins of our human existence.

Oh no….Hell is not “over there,” it is RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!

hell, hellfire and brimstone, Satan, Lucifer, the devil,

Hell is life on earth when we know fear instead of love, hate instead of compassion, judgment instead of mercy, war instead of peace, separation instead of union.

Hell is the excruciating pain of separation that defines the human experience –

The separation we first felt when we were expelled from our mother’s wombs, suddenly dependent on an outside source for our survival.  Where we were no longer safe, secure, protected….cast out from the place where all our needs were met without us having to do a thing about it…and without our even having to ask.

The separation we feel when we suddenly learn the imperfection of human beings.  When they might not understand or hear our cries of need.  When our needs go unheeded.  When we are told “you don’t need that,” that there is something wrong with our needs or that our needs do not matter.  When we are crying, screaming, begging for our needs to be met, but no one seems to hear….or care.

The separation we feel when we learn that love is conditional.  When we are cast forth from our Source in whose image we were created and where we are seen as “precious and glorious” into a world where love has to be earned and can be taken away.

The separation we feel when who we are doesn’t matter.  Where our gifts have not been acknowledged, supported, or honored as sacred.  When we struggle to find our gifts in a world that says, “Success is defined by money, fame and by how hard you work.” And if we are fortunate enough to find our gifts, Hell is a world that says, “your gifts have no value.”

The separation we feel when we once knew only oneness, contentment, harmony and peace; finding that replaced with conflict, war, jealousy, bitterness, cruelty, hatred, prejudice, ignorance and revenge.  Where we once felt safe, now we feel only worry and fear.

The separation we feel when our truth and our path were once easy to grasp, and now it is hard to find.  Cast forth from a world where there was only one TRUTH and that truth was LOVE into a world where everyone claims to have a monopoly on truth – where their truth is right and everyone else’s is wrong.  Where the inner authority we once knew as LOVE gets covered over by a chorus of external voices screaming at us to listen to their truth….or be condemned to hell!

The separation we feel when we are no longer One with the LOVE that made us and are instead cast out into a world made of fear.

It is in Hell where we are already living and we spend a lifetime trying to find our way out of it.

Authentic Freedom Academy supports you in finding your way out of Hell through our books, online courses and one-on-0ne mentoring.  Click on the highlighted links to learn more or scroll through our menu options above. 

Posted in addictions, Authentic Freedom, Authentic Freedom Academy, Being Human, codependency, Death, Empowerment

Power in Our Aloneness

The greatest fear in the human experience is not death, neither is it public speaking.  The greatest fear in the human experience is that we are alone – really, truly, alone; and in this aloneness, life has no meaning and no purpose.  This is our greatest fear because it is also our greatest truth.  At the end of the day, we are really, truly alone.  Death brings us face to face with this absolute truth.  When we release our final breath, there is no one – only ourselves and our hope that there is another to take us home – and the fear that this “other” is simply a lie we have told ourselves to make ourselves feel better.


Day in and day out, this fear that we are alone, haunts us. While we may not acknowledge that this is the fear haunting us, or that we have any fear at all, believe me, it is there.  It is there is our restlessness, our boredom, our short attention spans, our search for something “out there” that will make us happy.  It is in our “retail therapy.” It is in our social media searching and trolling.  It is in our cultural addiction with reality TV (including the clown show that has become our election process).  It is in our food, alcohol, tobacco, drug addictions.  It is present in every single situation and experience where we think something “out there” will fulfill us and in the relentless search for that “something.” This fear that we are alone is in our longing and yearning for “the other” who will complete us – even when that “other” is given the name of “God.”

We spend nearly every minute of every day avoiding our fear of this aloneness by chasing after “that which we cannot name.” We are sure if we keep chasing we will eventually find it.  It’s in that check we’ve been waiting for, the mysterious windfall, the lottery jackpot.  It’s in the elusive soulmate who will bring perfection to our lives.  It is in the next great car, the bigger home, the job with the bigger paycheck.  It is in the victory of our chosen political candidate.

But guess what? The fear of being alone is NOT remedied through any of the above, because THERE IS NO CURE for our fear of being alone.  This fear is the consequence of the human condition and a fear we will always intimately know.

We came here to have a unique and individual experience which by its nature means we are separate and alone. Within this choice also exists the knowledge of our true nature – of a time before we chose separation.  It is the knowledge of our true nature that causes us to feel alone while at the same time it is calling us home.  It is an ache that will never cease as long as we continue being human.  While there is no remedy to the fear of being alone, there is an answer to all the relentless searching and avoiding we do by searching.  The answer is to stop running from this fear.  Stop looking “out there” for something that will fill the eternal vacancy inside.  The only way to calm (not remedy) this fear, is to BE WITH IT.

Being with our fear of being alone means just that. Be with it.  Turn away from all the external searching and turn within.  Go deep into our hearts where this longing resides.  Move past the ego attachments to fame, status, money, power, success and achievement. Move beyond the need to be right and for others to be wrong. Move past the restlessness, boredom, loneliness, impatience, and anxiousness.  Move past anxiety, depression and despair.  Beneath all of it is the DEEP ACHE, the indelible pain, the vivid realization that we are alone.  SIT with this fear.  Sit with this awareness.  Sit with the excruciating discomfort.  Simply be with all this pain is, has to say, and feels like for you.  FEEL IT.  Revel in it.  Bathe in it.  Know it to be a deeply intimate, true and cherished part of who you are.  KNOW that this ache is your Soul calling you home – NOT home to some “heavenly abode.”  Home to YOURSELF.  It is here in the deep well of your aloneness that you will find yourself.  And here, you will find your power.


The Authentic Freedom Mastery Program provides tools to help us navigate the fears of the human condition, moving us from fear into a deep and abiding love. Learn more about the Authentic Freedom Mastery Program HERE.  Check out the FREE preview course to see if Authentic Freedom is for you.



Posted in End of the World Prophecies, world changes

Visions of a New World and Abraham Lincoln’s Bones

For the sake of the betterment of our world, I am sharing a powerful and (at the time) terrifying dream that I had as a child that has proved itself to be nothing short of prophetic:

One late summer, when I was five or six years old, I was staying in my grandfather’s cabin in the north woods of Minnesota, with my family. It was likely our last visit before the end of the season and before going back to (or starting) school. It was late August, and the weather had already grown cool and the evenings crisp, and on this particular night, a brilliant orange harvest moon hung in the sky.  It was under the glow of the harvest moon that I nestled in beside my sister on the pull-out couch on the sleeping porch, snuggling deep into the flannel and army green sleeping bag that smelled like my grandfather – a rich combination of wool, flannel, bonfires, pine needles, fresh air and cigars. Held in the embrace of this sacred and holy place, I was visited by a powerful dream.


The harvest moon that I had found a beauty to behold gazed down over the entire world and was seen by all from city to farm, forest to stream and everywhere in between. In the dream, I saw the moon from the vantage point of a large city.  As I gazed at the moon, it began to spin, and then it began to spark.  As the moon spun, it threw off sparks and flames, as if it had become like one of those aluminum and metal hand-crank pinwheels – spinning and sparking and destroying itself in the process.

As I gazed at the moon in both horror and wonder, a voice spoke to me, “The end of the world is at hand.” I was obviously frightened by these words and asked “the voice” what I could do to stop it.  “You must go find the bones of Abraham Lincoln dig them up and bring them here to prevent the world from coming to an end.”  The dream continued with me finding, and then leading a group of friends in search for Lincoln’s bones.  In the dream, we looked and looked in all the places where the bones could be and were unable to find them – we looked in Springfield, Illinois, we looked in the woods of Kentucky, we even looked at the Lincoln Memorial.  All the time we search, I felt this overwhelming sense of rightness, but also fear and frustration as Lincoln’s bones continued to elude us, knowing that if we didn’t find them, the world would come to an end.  It was in this state of frustration that I awakened.  I was too afraid to tell anyone about the dream, and to this day, have only shared it with a few.  Until now.

Almost 50 years later, I am now able to interpret this dream and the state of our world has helped me with this interpretation:

The end of the world (as we know it) is here. The new world is being born and it is out of “Lincoln’s Bones” that the new world will be made.

Abraham Lincoln

The world that we have known is that which was built on fear, power, separation and control. This is the world that is dying (and needs to die if we are to survive).  For those who are attached to this world, or who get their power from this world, its end will feel apocalyptic and truly as if the world (their world) is coming to an end – if this is what they choose.

Another choice is possible, however, for those who are willing to do the work of locating and “digging up Lincoln’s bones.” (so to speak)

“Lincoln’s bones” represents all that we have come to associate with our sixteenth president, Abraham Lincoln.

Abraham Lincoln was known to be a man of honesty, integrity, humility, intelligence, and wisdom. He is generally regarded as one who possessed a deep sense of justice, who was able to reason and discern his own truth and act on that truth; who was self-motivated and self-directed. He was not known to be easily swayed by opinion or political pressure.  His ultimate gift was in bringing together that which had been separated and in repairing the breach.

This is who we are called to be and what we are called to do in bringing forth the new world – a world no longer established on the old models of fear, separation, power and control, but one built on the solid foundation of honesty, integrity, knowledge and wisdom where we come together as a world of brothers and sisters, repairing the breach of 5000 years of separation.   For those who are not willing to make this choice, the world they are clinging to is consuming itself in a painful and fiery death.

To learn how you are called to help support the birth of the new world through your own unique gifts, check out my online course “What is Your Magic?” 33% off during the month of February.  Click on the image below to learn more! 





Posted in world changes

Building the New World

We have arrived! Our journey of Ascension is complete. We have pierced through the veil of perceived separation (duality) and have arrived fully in the new/original world. In the new/original world, we know we are all One – one within ourselves, one with what we might call “God,” one with each other, one with all of creation, one with the entire Universe. We are all one! We now know this to be true and if we don’t quite know it fully, we are moving toward this awareness/knowing/experience that I am in you and you are in me and together we are One.

Now that we have completed the journey toward Oneness, it is time for the next leg of our journey. The next stage in this magnificent and magical time of human evolution is to take what we know about Oneness and apply it to our world. It is time to start building our new/original world! As the world of separation and fear continues in its journey of self-destruction, the new and original world is in the process of being born – a world rooted in love, working for harmony and peace where the needs of all are abundantly met not only for survival but that we might all find joyful fulfillment in the human experience, and where each and every living being is honored as sacred and as a necessary part of our life experience.

Earth Heart

While the invitation to building a new world might sound daunting, it is really quite simple. Building a new world is not about taking on corporate giants, beating down institutional establishments or waging war with anyone or anything. Instead, building the new world starts with ourselves. Building the new world begins with the work of transcending the separation within ourselves, letting go of the voices of fear and heeding only the voice of our Soul. Building the new world is about bringing peace to the war within our minds between our heads and our hearts and letting our Souls take wing.

When we bring together the perceived separation within ourselves, bringing ourselves out of fear and into LOVE, then we have no choice but to live the life our Soul intended – one in which we are free to harness our own unique giftedness and the unique way in which we have been gifted to find meaning and purpose in our lives and in doing so helping to serve the betterment of our world.

The magic in accomplishing WHOLENESS within ourselves is that we have already succeeded in building a new world for ourselves – a world in which our life experience is markedly different than the one we knew while living in fear. As we enjoy the magic of Wholeness, the magic begins to rub off on those around us. Soon, they begin to ask the questions that will lead them to wholeness within themselves and with us as an example (and a source of support and encouragement), they are emboldened and empowered in their journey and soon their world is made anew….and so on….and so on…..and so on.   The bottom line is that LOVE is contagious and the more we live as love, the more others will follow, then suddenly, one day, TODAY perhaps, the whole world will have turned from fear toward love and all of creation will be living in the new/original world.

Thank you for all the hard work you have already done helping to get us to this place. We would not be here without your diligent efforts and persistent attention to your own journey of transformation and to your higher intention for a world living in peace.

Congratulations on a job well done. Welcome to the New World. And thank you for your part in continuing to build the world anew!





Authentic Freedom Academy provides programs and services that support us in piercing through the veil of separation so that we might find Oneness within ourselves – empowering us to transcend the fears that are preventing us from living the life of our dreams. 


Posted in Authentic Freedom, Lessons, Spiritual Practices, Virtual Church

Sunday Service – The Price of Freedom

On Sunday, August 23, 2015, we hosted our second Sunday Service at Inner Sun Yoga Studio, Oshkosh.  It was a stormy, rainy morning and we appreciated the opportunity to gather together to share in a common desire to be vessels through which love, peace and harmony are made real in our world and to participate in tearing down the walls of perceived separation between us.  Here is the audio recording of the teaching portion of our gathering:

Please join us this coming Sunday, August 30, 2015 for our weekly Sunday Service.  The theme this week is healing the fears within us that lead us to our compulsive behaviors (greed, sloth, pride, envy, etc.).  We will be using the principles and practices of Authentic Freedom to facilitate this learning!  Looking forward to journeying with you on Sunday!


Posted in world changes


Something amazing, intense and at least initially scary is happening in the Universe.  Starting the three days prior to the FULL MOON and continuing this week, a series of LOVE ACTIVATIONS are taking place.  For many, these love activations will feel like anxiety, hyper-sensitivity to sound, touch, smells, people, places, the outside, sunlight, etc.. (sadly, for some, the intensity of these activations and the anxiety they are producing will be projected out into the world through violence).  It will also feel INTENSE, like our bodies are filling up with energy and are about ready to EXPLODE.  For myself, I have felt all of the above, culminating in vertigo, panic attacks (and all the symptoms that accompany them), and migraine headaches.

Coping with these activations is not easy.  In fact, as mentioned above, for some, their reaction will be violence.  If we are aware, and paying attention, however, we have another choice in how to respond to this foreign energy…..because it is foreign while at the same time being VERY FAMILIAR.  LOVE is our original nature, but we have been so wrapped up in our egos, our false-self, our sense of separation and fear that we have forgotten what REAL LOVE feels like.  Additionally, our egos will fight tooth and nail to maintain their place of prominence within us and it knows that the arrival of LOVE means its ultimate demise.


SO…….while I certainly don’t have all the answers, I am happy to share with you what seems to be working for me.

1) Hold an awareness that the energy we are feeling is LOVE trying to be embodied within us.

2) Intend to be open to not only receiving, but embodying this love.

3) Take time out of the chaos to hold that intention to receive and visualize your awareness moving from your head (where the panic starts) into your heart.

4) Hold your awareness in your heart space and allow the LOVE to fill it up….allowing it to EXPAND within you and BEYOND you out into the world.

5) If the love feels like too much to handle …. allow the love that you are receiving to flow through you into the world reaching out into all the places of fear and constriction.

6) And by all means…..BREATHE!

7) Once the Love is more fully embodied you might find that you have an excess of energy in your body……now is the time to MOVE.  Dance.  Do yoga.  SING. Tai Chi. etc. etc. etc.


Love to you as you enjoy the love activations!!!!


Posted in Authentic Freedom, Lessons, Oneness with God, sin, The Seven Deadly Compulsions

The Need to Be Right

Today’s blog explores one of our basic human compulsions that comes directly out of our perceived separation from God and from each other.  This is the need to be right and to make other people wrong. 

Don’t You Get Tired of Being Wrong?

Somewhere around 1976, my father and I were shopping at Zayer Shopper’s City (the Minneapolis pre-curser to WalMart) and found matching    t-shirts that perfectly stated our shared life mantra (at that time).  My dad’s red t-shirt and my blue one boldly stated:

Don’t You Ever Get Tired of Being Wrong?

 I can’t speak for my dad, but for me, being a Capricorn, first-born, type-A, over-achiever and perfectionist had secured my path of righteousness.  I was right and everyone else was wrong….unless of course, they agreed with me.  🙂  Sadly, I was recently shown that these traits did not soften as I grew and “matured,” instead, they have become even more firmly entrenched.  As a grown up, this need to be RIGHT manifested in the following:

  • Contemplation is right, dogma is wrong
  • Bleeding heart liberal democrat is right, everyone else is wrong
  • I’m right, the Institutional Catholic Church is wrong
  • Poverty is right, wealth is wrong
  • I’m right, the law of attraction is wrong
  • Choosing the path of your passion is right, a real job is wrong  etc. etc. etc.

Sadly, I was not entirely aware of how deeply entrenched was my own need to be right until my amazing editor pointed this out in a character in the novel I’m currently working on.  Since that character is ME my editor’s comments were like a bullet RIGHT BETWEEN MY EYES.  OUCH!!!! Yes, the character is firmly entrenched in her own need to be right and sadly, so am I.  Did I say, OUCH!?  I guess I have some work to do!

The Source of This Compulsion

This need to be right flows directly out of our core spiritual wound – the false perception of separation from ourselves, from each other and from God.  Arising out of this wound of separation is the “deadly compulsion” of pride and it is pride that drives our need to be right and to make everyone else wrong.  When we are right, we get to feel superior, better than others, more intelligent, wiser, maybe even more compassionate and humble.  Ha!  All of this needing to be right is ultimately about securing our separation and creating even bigger trenches between ourselves and those in the world that we have the potential to love.

The Remedy to Being Right

The remedy to our need to be right is to embrace humility… admit that at the end of the day, WE KNOW NOTHING!  And….to set aside the lens of judgment through which we often view the world.  What is right for me does not have to be right for another and what is right for me does not make the other person wrong.  To put it in the context of beliefs for example:  Contemplation, freedom from constrictions, non-doctrine are absolutely right for me……AND they would be absolutely WRONG for another.  Where the choices that I have made in my spiritual path give me a sense of security and freedom, it would strike terror and insecurity in another.  The invitation for me is to embrace what is right for me while honoring as sacred and holy that which is right for another….even….or maybe even especially….when it is decidedly different than my own personal choices.  The same goes for politics, medicine, education, parenting, relationship choices, etc. etc. etc. If we wish to be free from the “sin” of pride and to heal the perceived separations between us, we are invited to cease this need to be right.   Now…does this mean that murder, war, abuse, bullying, physical violence, stealing are right because someone believes they are right for themselves?  I don’t think so….and I believe that is why we have some basic and mostly universally accepted guidelines for human behavior.  The Ten Commandments and Jesus’ commandment to:  “Love one another as I have loved you,” are two such examples.

Embracing a New Mantra

Now, if I could go back to Zayer Shopper’s City and choose a new t-shirt for myself, I would rather it read something like:

I’m Sorry for All The Times I Had to Be Right

Lauri Lumby


Posted in Authentic Freedom, Inspiration, Jesus, Lessons

Jesus’ Most Important Message

Jesus’ most important invitation to us is to set aside our attachment to separation so that we may live in the unifying experience of love.

Jesus’ Prayer

In John’s gospel, while dining with his disciples, Jesus offered the following prayer:

I pray not only for them, but also for those who will believe what I have taught through their word, so that they may all be one, as you, Father, are in me and I in you, that they also may be in us, that the world may believe that you sent me. And I have given them the glory you gave me, so that they may be one, as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may be brought into perfection as one, that they world may know that you sent me, and that you loved them even as you loved me.                                                            John 17: 21-23

Jesus’ greatest desire, as he prayed with his disciples was that we would come to know the love that he had come to know in his Oneness with God and that in knowing this love, we would become one within ourselves, remember our own oneness with God and grow in oneness with each other.  In this state of oneness, as Jesus explained, there is only unity, there is no room for separation.

The “Sin” of Separation

Separation is the human construct that arises out of our false perception of separation from God.  When we have forgotten our Oneness with God in love, we judge the human experience as filled with fear and pain and we hold others to blame for the suffering that we experience because of this pain.  It is through this judgement and casting of blame that we create all the separations that exist within our human condition:  race, religion, orientation, nationality, political party, rich, poor, educated, ignorant, good, bad, right, wrong, etc. etc. etc. etc.  In this state of judgement and perceived separation, we have forgotten the most important message that Jesus came to teach and that is the lesson of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!  And…..we don’t need to be Christian (another one of those separations) to believe, embrace and live this message.  That is the whole point that Jesus was trying to make….when we know this love, there is no separation….ONLY ONENESS.

Naming Our Separations

This message of Oneness has always been of utmost importance, but during this time with all the conflict going on in the world, especially in the hotly contested presidential race, this message of Oneness feels all the more urgent.  I have already posted my thoughts on the coming elections in my blog, Elections and a Disturbance in the Force and I feel as if there is more yet to be done.  As I see it, the current platform of the election and the respective parties is SEPARATION.  A position that is in direct conflict with Jesus’ invitation to love.  Here are just a few of the labels/judgments that are being tossed about:  Pro-Life/Pro-Choice, Anti-Obama/Pro-Romney, Tax the Rich/Feed the Poor.  Then there’s the whole process of casting stones – one candidate proclaiming all the evils of the other candidate, name-calling, mud throwing, bullying, defaming, criticizing and condemning. etc. etc. etc.  Jesus would ask, “Where is the love here?”  Quite frankly, I’m not seeing it!  Sadly the United States’ election process is just a small example of all the ways we seek to separate and choose to live in judgment and fear instead of the love that Jesus invites us to.  We judge each other for our race, our sexual orientation, our religion, our economic position, our weight, our hair color, our shoe size, the size of our house and the kind of car that we drive.  The list goes on and on and on.  And with each judgment that we cast upon each other, the more we drift away from each other and the further we are from learning tolerance, respect, honor, acceptance and most importantly, love.

The Invitation to Love

The invitation today is to LOVE.  To take Jesus’ message seriously and to be open to remembering our Oneness with God in Love….to remember the Love within ourselves and to SEEK that love in others.  It is love that brings us together, that heals the sin of separation, that allows us to release our judgments and to live in a world of peaceful acceptance.  Let us love one another as Jesus loved us!

If you are looking for tools to help you heal the perceived separation within yourself and to remember your Oneness with God in love, check out my book, Authentic Freedom – Claiming a Life of Contentment and Joy. 

If you are interested in becoming an Authentic Freedom Facilitator, click HERE for more information. 

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries 

Posted in Being Human, Healing, Inspiration

Replacing the Inner Critic with Love

Hi.  My name is Lauri.  I am a perfectionist, driven by my addiction to my inner critic.  I admit that I am powerless over my addiction to rejection and that because of this addiction, my life has become unmanageable.  I believe in a power greater than myself that can restore me to sanity.  I turn this addiction over to the God of my understanding.   And this is when true miracles happen!

The Demons of Self-Rejection and Self-Loathing

All of my life, I have been plagued by a voice that seems to come at me from both directions – both from inside of me and from outside of me.  This is the voice of the Inner Critic – that big, mean, Lauri that stands outside of me wagging the finger of blame and speaking within me eating away at my self worth.  “It is all your fault.  There is something wrong with you.  If you aren’t perfect, people won’t love you.  If you work really hard, you might be loved.  If you aren’t loved, it means you aren’t enough or your efforts weren’t good enough.”  This is the inner critic that for my whole life has told me that there is something wrong with me, that I am not enough and that I am not good enough.  This is the voice that compelled me as a child to embrace the compulsion of perfectionism – I had to be the straight A student, the top achiever, the teacher’s pet, the star, the best…at everything.  This voice served me well in academics where I naturally thrived, but beyond that, that voice was a B.I.T.C.H.  When I couldn’t throw or catch a ball, she said, “I told you there was something wrong with you.”  When I couldn’t draw, “I told you you had no talent.”  When I forgot the second movement of Beethoven’s Pathetique Sonata at my senior recital, “Who told you you could play piano?”  When no one asked me out for prom, “I told you you were ugly.”  When the people around me were hurt, angry, depressed, scared, the voice told me, “It must be your fault….something you’ve done.”  ARGH!  I hate that voice and all the ways she has made me feel like C.R.A.P.

Origin of the Voice?

Psychologists would tell me that this voice of the Inner Critic came about through my childhood – an overly critical or overbearing parent or something like that.  The Enneagram, however, offers a softer and kinder possibility.  The voice of the Inner Critic was something that I was born with.  While the development of its shadow side may have been supported by certain family of origin dynamics, the Inner Critic’s source of origin (according to the Enneagram) is the unique lens I was born with and through which I perceive my world and my life experiences.  Hidden within the voice of the critic is the gift that I was born to share with the world.  The trick is to find healing for the spiritual wound of separation (for more on that, see my book Authentic Freedom – Claiming a Life of Contentment and Joy), so that the shadow side of the gift may soften and relax and the gift may emerge.

Elusive Healing

I have worked for YEARS on trying to heal that wound of separation and quiet the voice of the Inner Critic.  While my perfectionist has relaxed and I am WAY better than I used to be, I have still found myself plagued by that darn Inner voice wagging the finger of blame at me.  With the recent end of a love relationship, that darn Inner Critic has gotten especially loud and annoying.  As I have been moving through the expected faces of grief, the Inner Critic has been beating the crap out of me and on Monday, I finally realized how mean she really is and how much I no longer want her to be a part of  my life.  For the first time, I PRAYED for healing and asked God to take this burden away from me.

Ask and it Shall Be Given

As I finally collapsed into a helpless heap of frustration and admitted I was powerless over this darn Inner Critic and finally asked for God’s help, miracles began to happen.  Through a series of experiences, I found the Inner Critic began to become quieter.  I re-discovered some meditation tools that helped me to further calm that inner voice and allow myself to remember a deeper state of peace and love.  Then something AMAZING happened – three separate individuals (spiritual teachers) in three separate conversations offered similar advice, “Give love to yourself.  Shower yourself in love.  Tend to your own need for love.”  It wasn’t until the third offering on the third day that I GOT IT.  And this is what I saw:

Standing outside of me was me.  At first the outside me was the Inner Critic, wagging her finger of self-hatred at me.  Then, she suddenly changed.  She lowered her arm, turned to face me, looked into my eyes, embraced me, and loved me.

The Inner Critic was now the Inner Lover.  Holding me.  Loving me.  Supporting me.  Adoring me.  For the first time in my life, I received the love that I so generously and freely give to others.  And that was an amazing thing.

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries