Posted in Beloved Partnership, codependency, Jesus, Mary Magdalene, Relationships, world changes

Valentine’s Day – Beloved Partnership Part III

Just in time for Valentine’s Day…..a continued exploration of the Beloved Partnership – moving beyond co-dependency, soulmate and twin flame to a co-creative, interdependent kind of love. 

I’m not making this up!

In exploring the topic of Beloved Partnership, it is helpful to know that we are not the first to entertain this ideal of love.  I personally believe this is the kind of loving relationship God envisioned in the first place and what was “supposed” to have happened between the metaphorical Adam and Eve.  I believe that this is the kind of love ideal envisioned by the Christian Church is designating matrimony as a sacrament.  Eastern spiritual traditions depict this kind of love in their Divine partnerings: Shiva and Shakti, Sita and Ram, Krishna and Radha, Babaji and Mataji.  I believe this is the love experienced between Jesus and Mary Magdalene and which was unfortunately written out of the Christian story in favor of a patriarchal, hierarchical institution.


Self-Actualizing Love

In modern literature, we have the writings of Abraham Maslow and Barbara Marx Hubbard to support us in honoring the inner call to the Beloved Partnership.  The love of a Beloved Partnership is what Abraham Maslow referred to as “Self-actualized love.”  Love between self-actualized individuals, as Abraham Maslow discovered (Motivation and Personality, 1970, pp. 181- 202), is the healthiest and most fulfilling kind of love.  If we are willing to persist until we meet our Beloved Partner, this is what we might expect:

  • A partnership where there is a mutual giving and receiving of love, both parties are equally able and willing to engage in both giving and receiving.
  • A healthy sexuality rooted in and reflective of love – more creative, ecstatic, orgasmic and fulfilling, yet also less about attachment. It is not a needy kind of intimacy, but instead is mutually fulfilling.
  • Pooling of needs – your needs, wants, desires, become mine and visa versa – such that there becomes one hierarchy of needs with two people seeking after their fulfillment.
  • Fun, merriment, joy, spontaneity, elation, feelings of well-being.
  • Mutual honor and respect of the other’s individual gifts, talents, drive, passions, interests, temperament, etc.
  • Mutual, authentic admiration, wonder and awe.
  • Detachment and Individuality – able to be in relationship without compromising one’s own individuality.


The Co-Creative Couple

Barbara Marx Hubbard sees the Beloved Partnership as what we are growing into as we evolve toward the next stage of human development as a co-creative society.  In keeping with this vision, she calls the Beloved Partners The Co-Creative Couple (Conscious Evolution, 2015, pp. 238 – 239).  She envisions the co-creative couple as follows:

Now we become the cocreative couple, which begins when both partners achieve within themselves at least the beginning of a balance between the masculine and feminine, the animus and the anima.  It begins when the woman’s initiative and vocational need is received in love by the feminine receptivity of her partner.  When she is loved for her more masculine side, she falls in love with the man’s feminine aspect, for what she needs is the nurturance of her own strength and creativity.  She loves him for his receptivity. He no longer has to prove himself by control and domination.  He can bring forth his own creativity without aggression.  And she can express her strength without fear of losing him.  Whole being joins with whole being, recreating the family at the next stage of evolution.  Same-sex couples experience a similar process of integration and joining to emancipate each other (p. 238).

I am humbled and honored to be one among many who have been given a vision and a call to uphold the Beloved Partnership as the ideal of love we are evolving toward and one among many who is called to be a pioneer in anchoring this new (original) kind of love for humanity.

Babaji Mataji 13 February 2014




Posted in Christ Consciousness, Discernment, God, Jesus, Midlife Journey, teachers, Truth

Who is Your Teacher?

We are interrupting this discussion on midlife, menopause and the dark night of the relationship to explore another critical topic that is also relevant to the midlife journey (and beyond).  Relevant to midlife is the search for our Soul – the uniquely gifted part of ourselves through which we find meaning, purpose and fulfillment and the way in which we contribute to the betterment of the world.  In order to discover our Soul, we need to take time to listen and hear the whispering voice of our truth.  In distinguishing the voice of our truth from the voice of our ego (which is comfortable with status quo and will at all costs resist the voice of our truth) it is sometimes, maybe even critical, to have a teacher.  Today’s blog asks the question, Who is your teacher?

Defining Teacher

Authentic teachers have worked hard at their own self-actualization and in the birth of their soul and are happy to guide and support others along that same path.  Sometimes our teachers are living.  Sometimes they have passed and guide us through their spiritual presence and through sacred teachings which they have left behind. Sometimes our teacher is simply the intimate relationship we have developed through our higher power, or that which some might call God.  Whatever form our teacher takes, it is their job to guide and support us in the journey of discovering the voice of our Soul – the divine truth that lives within us – and finding ways to live that out.


My Teacher/s

As a way of helping you identify your teacher/s, I want to share a bit about mine.  My ultimate teacher, is that which I call God.  I’m not talking about the old man in the sky God, my God is way too big for that.  My God is the ultimate source of all that is and all that is coming to be.  As such, my God is neither male nor female, but simply is.  Also, my God doesn’t live in a heaven light years away, my God is in everything, including me  (and you).  It is ultimately to this indwelling aspect of the Divine where I go for guidance, direction, comfort, support, healing and inspiration. God is the voice of my truth, urging, encouraging and compelling me along the path of my Soul.  Being raised Catholic, the way in which I came to know God is through my other teacher, Jesus.  Jesus was my first teacher and while I have explored the teachings of other holy men and women, it is always to Jesus that I return. I have found through Jesus, teachings and guidance which are universal and which transcend the limitations of dogma and orthodoxy.  Jesus figured it out.  He found his way beyond the veil of separation into the universal flow of compassion, love and peace.  In piercing through the veil, Jesus found his true self – his Soul- that which provided him meaning and purpose and through which he contributed to the betterment of the world.  Jesus, at first, led by example, and then left behind teachings to help others in their own journey toward peace.  And to those who turn to Jesus for personal guidance and support, he is here as the Christ, the spiritual presence of the man who once lived, and who is able to be with us in intimate and personal ways as teacher, guide, healer, friend and guru.

Now, who is your teacher?

Posted in Christ Consciousness, church, Jesus, Raised Catholic

Jesus the Psychologist..Keeping Jesus Relevant

Today’s blog explores Jesus and his teachings as a mode of psychological and spiritual development through which we are empowered to become self-actualized and through which we are able to be freed of the obstacles which prevent us from reaching our full potential as human beings. (isn’t this the goal of psychology afterall?)


We’ve killed Jesus a second time.

It saddens me that in our quest for intellectualism and individuation, Christianity has somehow become irrelevant and Jesus seems to have been thrown out with the bath water.  Because, when we look past the sins of the Institutions (sexual abuse, sexism, discrimination, power and control) and pierce through the veil of dogma, what lies behind it all is an example, as well as a model for psychological and spiritual development that can be beneficial to every man, woman and child.  Instead, Jesus lays dead at our feet while Buddhism, Yoga, Kabbalah and Paganism become the fashionable and intelligent paths to enlightenment.  While I acknowledge all these paths as holy and sacred and as valid means through which we can develop and grow as human beings, I contend that we are missing a HUGE opportunity by ignoring or worse yet, demonizing, Jesus and the gifts that he brings.

Jesus as the model

When we read scripture without the threads of dogma obscuring our view, what we see in Jesus is a man who came to understand the fullness of his human potential and who lived that out as freely as was possible.  In fact, he lived his actualized self so well that he got killed for it.  Examining Jesus’ life through the lens of psychological and spiritual development, what we see is:

  • a man committed to his spiritual practice.
  • who came to develop a deeply intimate and personal relationship with that which he called “Abwoon” (God).
  • who found healing, comfort, restoration, inspiration and guidance through this connection with his higher self.
  • who, through a process of formation and discernment came to understand his unique giftedness and how he was called to live that out.
  • who overcame the inner obstacles, temptations and fears which might either prevent him from living this path with humility
  • who learned and practiced the gift of spiritual obedience.
  • who learned to surrender to and trust the Source that was guiding him.
  • who was able to stand freely and without compromise in his truth, even to the point of death.
  • who was a force for change and a voice for justice – ministering to and speaking out on behalf of those who had been ostracized by society.
  • who challenged the laws that provided priviledge to some while infringing on the rights of others.

From the psychological model, Jesus was a man who became self-actualized, who reached the fullness of his human potential and who left behind a collection of example, stories and teachings which show us how to do the same.

Jesus as the teacher

Jesus did not go up on a mountain, become fully actualized, then stay there in silence communing with God and playing with invisibility and levitation. Instead, Jesus lived his potential in the midst of the human race and taught others how to reach the fullness of their own potential.  Jesus accomplished this through his example, and also through his teachings. We owe a huge debt of gratitude to those writers who attempted to capture Jesus’ model and message in the scriptures that have been handed down to us, as well as those that did not quite make the cut (many for obvious political reasons!).  Again, looking past the Insitutitons’ attempt to doctrinize Jesus’ model of psychological and spiritual formation, these are some of the tools Jesus left behind to help us in our own journey toward self-actualization:

  • practices of meditation and prayer which help us to quiet our minds so that we can be open to the higher intelligence that speaks to us in the silence, that guides us, moves us, inspires us, comforts us, heals us.
  • stories which teach us about the call to justice, that speak to us of the importance of compassion and forgiveness, that heal us from our own fears and woundedness, that remind us of our own unique giftedness and the call to share those gifts in the world.
  • The beatitudes – pithy statements that demonstrate for us the natural results of our potential – as we grow toward our human potential, we are naturally poor in spirit, merciful, working for justice, etc.
  • stories that remind us that first and foremost….we are loved….more than that….we ARE love and that the purpose of the human journey is to remember that love.

Raising Jesus from the dead.

In honor of Holy Week, I am extending a challenge.  I am inviting us to set aside the wounds we may have experienced at the hands of religious institutions (special emphasis for my Recovering Catholic brothers and sisters.), to look beyond the veil of dogma and to restore Jesus to his rightful place as psychologist, spiritual director, healer, teacher and guru.  As we celebrate the miracle of Easter, the day that Jesus was first raised form the dead, let us allow for ourselves the Second Coming of Christ and give ourselves permission to know Jesus anew and to look at his example and teachings through new eyes.  And my prayer is that through the light of  Christ, we might see the truth beyond the words.

Lauri Lumby