Posted in Inspiration

Twin Flames and Soul Mates?

Everyday, several people arrive at my website seeking answers to questions about twin flames, soul mates, happily ever after.  Today, I want to respond to these questions directly….if for no other reason than perhaps to answer the question for myself.


Once Upon a Dream

Somewhere around twelve years ago, I had a dream that changed my life.  The dream began atop a hill in the center of a circle of stones.  I found myself standing beside an ancient-looking man dressed in white – a druid priest I presumed.  He pointed me toward a path that led down the hill and into a village. “There is your heart’s desire,”  he said.  I went down the path into the village (it looked to be Elizabethan, and somewhere in Great Britain).  I assumed I would find myself at the doors of a church (to learn that my heart’s desire was God), but instead found myself standing before the door of a row house.  I opened the door and walked in, this was my home.  I entered into the house and there was a man crouched down repairing a chair.  He looked up at me with recognition, welcome and then, adoration.  He stood up, and welcomed me into his arms and we kissed.  In his embrace, I was home.  I felt peaceful, secure, fulfilled.  He was my beloved, my soul mate, my twin flame, my True One.  And then I woke up.

The Recognition of Love

What I found in that dream was LOVE.  For the first time in my life, I knew what relational love felt like, and that I was deserving of love and to know love like that.  And then, I began a 12 year journey that continues yet today, for dreams are tricky, you see.  At first, I believed I was being invited to find that kind of the love in the relationship I was in at the time of the dream.  When that search proved fruitless, I decided that perhaps the dream was inviting me to find that love in God.  I embarked on a passionate search for God and found support of this search through the Song of Songs in the Hebrew scripture, the modern day writings of Tessa Bieleki and the poetry of Rumi, Hafiz, Rilke and John of the Cross (to name a few).  When I felt sufficiently full of God’s love, I found that this was not enough.  I then turned that love toward myself.  I worked long and hard at not only embracing God’s love, but learning to know and be that love within myself and in the world.  The more I found myself rooted in God’s love and the more I came to love myself, the more I realized that the relationship I was in was not reflective of this love. After many twists and turns, that relationship came to a natural end and I turned once again to Divine and Self love.  As those loves grew deeper roots, I found myself again seeking the relational component to the manifestation of love, sometimes in a needy, co-dependent kind of way, but more often, quietly waiting and trusting that as I was being the love God had called me to be, that the love that matches my love would find its way into my life, all the while continuing to deepen my love of God and love of Self.

Twin Flames, Soul Mates, True Ones, Happily Ever After?

After all this twisting and turning in search for the answer to my dream, I find I am left with more questions than answers. What I believe I can say with some certitude, however, is that the dreams of twin flames, soul mates, true ones and happily ever after have nothing to do with finding someone to complete us.  Instead, the dreams of love that we all possess within our beings are

1) About God calling us home.

2) About being called home to ourselves.

3) About being the love we are called to be in the world and finding fulfillment through this being.

Then, when we are whole and complete within ourselves, we are free to love another freely and to enter into a conscious, loving, interdependent relationship that is rooted in mutual love and support, respect and co-creation.

Planted in Our Hearts

That being said, I also tend to believe that God plants within our hearts the knowledge of the person who will perfectly (or imperfectly….we are human after all) reflect this love. When we have done the work of showing up to ourselves, when we cease from striving, when we are finished with the needing, that person will show up (probably when and where we least expect it), and we will know them by a look in their eyes and in a recognition in our hearts.


Posted in Authentic Freedom Book, codependency, Spiritual Practices

Fighting Rejection Demons and Opening to Love

One of the greatest fears we face in our human interactions is the fear of rejection.  Today’s blog explores this fear, its roots and some simple practices to help us stay clear of the rejection demons so that we can be open to the love that we are!



The Fear

In my book, Authentic Freedom – Claiming a Life of Contentment and Joy, we explore the seven core spiritual fears that prevent us from living within our truest nature which is one of contentment, love and joy.  The fourth fear, related to our energetic heart center (the heart chakra) is the fear, “I am not loved.”  This fear shows up as the voice in our head that criticizes and condemns us for our perceived weakness, failures and imperfections, as well as the outward projection of this voice in the fear that another person will or has the power to reject us – to withhold love or to take it away all together.


The Very Real Human Need for Love

This fear, “I am not loved,” has arisen as a distortion of the very real human need to know love.  We all know the research – children who are shown love and are treated lovingly fare better in our world.  They develop a healthy self-esteem and a capacity to demonstrate loving and compassionate behavior in the world.  Love Love Love Love Love Love does make the world go ’round.  The problem is that not one human being has experienced the perfection of love within the context of their human relationships and every one of us has known the pain of perceived rejection  at the hands of another.  Because of our very human experiences of rejection and loss, we falsely believe that love is a commodity to be bargained, that we have to earn and can ultimately be denied us.  This is the big lie.


The True Nature of Love

Love, as I explain in Authentic Freedom, is not something outside of us and as much as we want to believe it, love is NOT something that we can give to or receive from another human being.  Rather, LOVE is WHO WE ARE.  Love is our very nature, it cannot be denied, neither can it be earned.  Love just is.  The problem is that we have forgotten this truth and lost touch with the infinite well of love that is our very being.  The rejection demons arise when we have forgotten the love that we are.


The Longing and the Remedy

The good news is that our Divine parent has planted within us a longing for the recollection of that love.  At first, this longing compels us to seek outside of ourselves for love, but when we awaken to our conscious self, we discover that the longing is actually pointing us inward.  The remedy to that longing to know love is to come to know the love that dwells within us in our very being.  The good news is that there are a myriad of spiritual practices that can assist us in the recollection of the love that we are.


Mirror Mirror

As we allow ourselves to be open to discovering and embracing the love that is within us, we find ourselves less bothered by the inner critic or the demon of rejection and more able to simply move through life content and joyful in the love that we are.  We find ourselves less frantic about finding the love outside of us that will “complete us” and more able to simply rest in the love that we are.  And here is the great thing…it does NOT mean that we no longer need the love of another.  As a species, we are relational beings and are programmed to live in community with one another.  When we come to know the love that we are, we find that the intimate relationships in our lives are changed and transformed.  Like a mirror, those relationships that no longer reflect the love that we know within ourselves may fall away, and the new relationships will come into our lives that are reflective of the deep well of love we know within ourselves.  In this way, we can freely and openly share the love that we are while joyfully experiencing the free and open sharing of the love that the other persons know that they are.  Win.   Win.

The Divine Question

As I recently found myself struggling with my own fears of rejection, I brought this struggle into my spiritual practice and received a powerful message from the Divine that I believe may be helpful to you in your own search.  Here were the words that God gifted to me and I now share with you:

Can you be open to receiving all the love that the universe (God)  wants you to have?   

My question to you:  Can YOU be open to remembering the love that you are and can you be open to allowing this infinite and abundant love to be reflected in your intimate human relationships?

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries