Posted in Beloved Partnership, Relationships

A Dating Questionnaire for the Awakened

This is for all those I know who are way beyond the co-dependency currently favored in the western relationship model.  We are no longer looking for completion – we are looking for mutual honor, respect and an equal partnership of shared and complementary gifts.  We are looking for Beloved Partnership and Self-actualized Love.

 

I don’t care how much money you make,

What car you drive or where you live.

I want to know your Soul.

But for me to know your Soul,

You must know it first:

 

Have you died and lived a thousand deaths?

Tell me how your life has brought you to your knees.

What did you learn about yourself in the process?

Who have you found yourself to be on the other side of lying prostrate?

Have you walked through the fires of hell

and made friends with your demons?

 

How do you treat the broken and fragile things of this world?

Are you friends with your own vulnerability?

Is there room in your heart and your actions

For foreigners and immigrants?

The mentally ill and disabled?

The aging and the ailing?

The homeless, abused, neglected, forgotten and ignored?

Those who struggle day to day just to survive?

Is there room in your heart for “they?”

 

How are you walking kindly and gently upon this earth?

Can you see the earth as another living thing in need of our love?

 

Are you moved to tears by both the beauty and the horrors of our world?

Can you laugh at yourself?

Are you strong in the face of danger and

Weak in the Presence of Love?

Are you able to be alone…and quiet…and still?

Do you find comfort in silence and inspiration in song?

Can you hold space for one who is breaking –

Especially when the broken one is You?

Copyright Lauri Ann Lumby

 

For support in your journey of love – moving beyond “You Complete Me” to “Beloved Partnership, read and entertain the activities in my book:

Buy it now on Amazon
Posted in Beloved Partnership

Love is Seeking Us

This week’s (dot) Love lesson is going to be a little rambly (is that a word?) as I attempt to put into words a very deep process that I am personally going through that I know is not just my own.  I am learning more and more how truly we are all connected and how the inner work that I am doing for myself has a transformational effect on – not only those around me – but the world.  I don’t say this to be arrogant; for what is true for me is also true for you.  Every wound that you heal, fear that you conquer, act of kindness that you share, has a profound impact not only on those around you, but on the entire world.

Now for the topic at hand – LOVE. More specifically – Love as Partnership.

To begin with, I’m not talking about romantic love (though what I will attempt to describe here also applies to romantic love). I am speaking of the spiritual, soul-driven quest for Love as Partnership – Partnership with ourselves, with each other and with God.

Let’s start with God. (Heavy sigh).  As I even attempt to utter “God” as it relates to “Love” the first voice I hear is that of our religious conditioning.  “God’s love has to be earned.  God’s love can be taken away. God will take “His” love away from you if you sin.  God will punish you if you misbehave.  If you are sick or poor, or struggling, it is because you have displeased God.  God is punishing you.  Etc. etc. etc.

Fortunately none of this is true, but these messages have been shoved down our throat for so long that we have a difficult time unraveling from all this negative conditioning as it relates to God and love. But again, none of this is true. This is not what Jesus taught.  When Jesus spoke of “punishment,” he was only reflecting on the natural consequence of the human condition or of the hell we experience within ourselves when we have forgotten God’s love.  John said it best:

God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them. Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness on the day of judgment, because as he is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love. We love because he first loved us. 1 John 3: 16b-19

God is love and we are here for the sole purpose of remembering and re-membering (embodying) that love. Just as John describes the truth of God’s nature so well, he presents the formula for remembering and living from this truth: rooting out fear.

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Posted in Beloved Partnership, codependency, Relationships

Relationship Support

As we usher in the new world, a new model of intimate human relationship is being called forth.  In the new world we move beyond co-dependency (looking for the other to complete us) to interdependency, or what I call Beloved (or Sacred) Partnership.

holdinghands

Beloved Partnership is known by two healthy and whole individuals (or at the very least, two working toward wholeness) who are coming together in partnership as sources of mutual honor, respect and support for each other.  In Beloved Partnership, both partners work toward achieving their own greatness and reaching their fullest potential, while supporting the other in doing the same.

Abraham Maslow (Motivation and Personality, 1970, pp. 181- 202), identified the following as characteristics of beloved partnership (what he called the self-actualized relationship):

  • A partnership where there is a mutual giving and receiving of love, both parties are equally able and willing to engage in both giving and receiving.
  • A healthy sexuality rooted in and reflective of love – more creative, ecstatic, orgasmic and fulfilling, yet also less about attachment. It is not a needy kind of intimacy, but instead is mutually fulfilling.
  • Pooling of needs – your needs, wants, desires, become mine and visa versa – such that there becomes one hierarchy of needs with two people seeking after their fulfillment.
  • Fun, merriment, joy, spontaneity, elation, feelings of well-being.
  • Mutual honor and respect of the other’s individual gifts, talents, drive, passions, interests, temperament, etc.
  • Mutual, authentic admiration, wonder and awe.
  • Detachment and Individuality – able to be in relationship without compromising one’s own individuality.

couple-690765_1280

Barbara Marx Hubbard (Conscious Evolution, 2015, pp. 238 – 239) says this about Beloved Partnership (what she called the co-creative couple):

Now we become the co-creative couple, which begins when both partners achieve within themselves at least the beginning of a balance between the masculine and feminine, the animus and the anima.  It begins when the woman’s initiative and vocational need is received in love by the feminine receptivity of her partner.  When she is loved for her more masculine side, she falls in love with the man’s feminine aspect, for what she needs is the nurturance of her own strength and creativity.  She loves him for his receptivity. He no longer has to prove himself by control and domination.  He can bring forth his own creativity without aggression.  And she can express her strength without fear of losing him.  Whole being joins with whole being, recreating the family at the next stage of evolution.  Same-sex couples experience a similar process of integration and joining to emancipate each other (p. 238).

Authentic Freedom Academy provides support for both new couples hoping to build Beloved Partnership and for existing couples who find themselves at the stage of needing to re-negotiate a relationship that may have been established on the former model of co-dependency (wanting the other to complete us).

To learn more about Beloved Partnership support, contact Lauri Ann Lumby (920) 230-1313 or email lauri@authenticfreedom.love.