Posted in Authentic Freedom, End of the World Prophecies, Inspiration, world changes

Overcoming the “Demons” of the Covid-19 Pandemic

First a note on demons.  I do not believe in demons in the form of the dude wearing a red morph suit sporting horns and holding a pitchfork.  I do not believe in external embodied entities whose job is to wreak havoc on our lives.  Instead, I think of demons as human-made.  Demons are something we have created in our minds made up out of our fears.  That being said, these demons can become part of our collective fear and something that can be seen, named, and therefore conquered.  Conquering our demons is dependent on our ability to see them and name them.  Once we have done this, we can use the tools we have been given to “conquer” these demons so that they no longer have power over us.  These are the demons who presented themselves to me this morning as I did my invisible work of diving deep into society’s ills to uncover the demons that are driving our current (mass hysteria) behaviors.  Let’s name and claim these demons together so that we might deprive them of their power over us and move more closely to a place of peace and contentment within the chaos that is currently ruling our world.



Speaking of chaos, this is the first demon to present themselves during my morning meditation.  Chaos presented itself to me as a rampantly tumbling ball made up of flailing limbs – arms and legs flailing and tumbling around the world wreaking havoc wherever it flailed.  Chaos was screeching and screaming as it blindly flailed about.  Chaos seemed not to have a face and was difficult to approach because of the force of its flailing.  Stepping closer to it, I felt the force of its flailing and within that the unbridled fear that drove it.  I also felt within it an insidious plan and was within the depths of chaos those who benefit from a world chaotically thrashing about.  I asked Chaos to show me its face and what appeared was a face similar to Lord Voldemort as he hid in Professor Quirrell’s turban or the shriveled Voldemort who was thrown naked into the cauldron ready to be reborn into his true power and form.



Confusion was the second demon to appear.  He came in the form of a man who simply stood in place.  His body had become paralyzed and he could not move, but his head was uncontrollably and frantically being thrown about in all directions.  The image I saw was reminiscent of the scenes in horror movies where a demon is transforming from their cloaked human form into something horrifying.  Coming forth out of his mouth was a sort of incomprehensible babbling.  CUE Jacob’s Ladder



I didn’t need to look to hard to find Panic.  Panic was in the mass of humanity running around like chickens with their heads cut off.  Triggered by fear and mass hysteria, they were running here and there grabbing up everything they could carry that they believed might save them from ……what?  Death?  Illness?  Feeling alone?  Fear?  It was a mass of people without the tools needed to gather verifiable information, reason carefully and therefore come up with a reasonable response to that information.  Instead, fear alone was driving their actions – unbridled and in this case unnecessary fear.  CUE WWZ


After Naming the Demons

After we have effectively named the demon, our next task is to conquer them.  In this case, we need a new understanding of what it means to conquer.  In my world, fear begets fear and violence begets violence.  We are not meant to “destroy” the demon with violence (what we resist will persist).  Instead, we are invited to draw close enough to the demon to see the fear that is driving it.  Then, we heal it at its fear.  Once we heal its fear, the demon can return to its true form which is peacefulness, reason and love.


Healing Demons

As a shadow and depth worker, I have been working on the collective fear.  I have been sitting with the demons, holding them in loving compassion and witnessing to their release.  All they really want is to be loved.  And when we love these “demons” the fear that drives them simply melts off them revealing the love that dwells beneath all that fear.  In order to do this work, however, I first had to heal these demons within myself.  The same will be true for you.  If you find yourself drawn into the Chaos, paralyzed by Confusion or driven by Panic, you will first have to heal these demons within yourself.  Once you have done this you can begin to use your gifts to heal the demons of the collective.


Healing Your Own Demons

Healing our own demons is the work of a lifetime.  I have spent the past 30 years doing this for myself and out of this doing, I have discovered, developed and practiced effective tools for healing and transcending the fears inside of me that have limited my life.  Being free of these fears is an ongoing practice and something I work with every single day!  In life we are never completely free of fear, but with the proper tools, we can eliminate fear’s control over our lives.  The Authentic Freedom protocol is absolutely THE BEST tool I have been given for the healing of fears.  You can learn the Authentic Freedom protocol and how to apply it through my online course or my book by the same name.  I also offer one-on-one support if that would better serve you.  Learn more HERE.





Posted in Authentic Freedom, Being Human, detachment, Faith, Freedom, Healing, Lessons

Authentic Freedom – Help for When the Bottom Falls Out

About a month ago, I received news that is a COMPLETE game changer. This news changes everything AND puts everything into question.  This news impacts literally EVERY aspect of my life and to say it has caused a mild state of shock would be an understatement.  It is during times like these that Authentic Freedom – the process I created which supports human transformation – comes most in handy and proves its effectiveness.

Each and every one of us has had these kinds of experiences – when the rug is pulled out from beneath us, when the ceiling caves in and when the universe, in one fell swoop, tosses us out of the nest of what we have known into what we cannot yet imagine.

The greatest temptation during these times of freefall is to make plans. Our mind, in search of something to hang on to, out of fear of the unknown, tries to make plans, or tries to become attached to potential and possible outcomes.  As many have learned, when we make plans (or try to make plans), God laughs.  I have witnessed the truth of this many times over in the past month as I have tried to plan my way out of and through this change.  A possibility shows up, a potential, a promise, and I get excited about it, imagining all the possible ways in which this will support myself and my family and then POW, the Universe throws a wrench in the deal and the whole things falls apart.  This is EXACTLY what happened this past Wednesday.  Two universes collided and everything that I had planned and waged my future on completely collapsed.


Understanding the importance of grieving our losses, I have allowed myself time to grieve – to cry the ugliest cry, to tantrum, to rant and rave and wail. I reached out to my most trusted advisors for support and perspective and allowed myself to move through and to feel deep support.  In this, I found my way through the debris to the place where I can be open to what truly needs to manifest, knowing that in every death is the promise of new life.  I just don’t yet know what that new life might be.

I then created time and space away from all that might distract me from what I truly need to be doing at this time: SURRENDER. And in this surrendering, turning to what I know will guide me and support me in ALLOWING what it is that the Universe has in store for me – not a plan of my making, but one that comes directly from God and which is sure to be in my highest good, using my gifts in a way that is both fulfilling for me and in service to the betterment of the world.  And what I know will guide and support me is the very process that I created for others, Authentic Freedom.

In this process, I maintain diligent attention to my spiritual practice and apply the principles of Authentic Freedom for identifying and moving through the fears that might otherwise prevent me from seeing and knowing God’s plan when it shows up. I will then use the process of Authentic Freedom to move me through any fears or inner resistance to God’s plan so that I can step into the freedom that God has in store for me (and for all of us when we are paying attention).

The irony is not lost on me that all of this has occurred in proximity to the Fourth of July – the time we commemorate the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the journey that secured our liberty. As we celebrate the Fourth of July, let us be grateful for this external freedom while taking steps to secure the only freedom we will ever truly need – freedom from the inner fears, resistance and unhealed wounds that might otherwise stand in the way of a life of contentment and joy.

Authentic Freedom – Claiming a Life of Contentment and Joy available now on Amazon.  Buy it HERE.




Posted in Empowerment, Superheroes, world changes

Superheroes Report – July 8, 2014

As I promised many of my readers, I will provide a reporting on what transpires at the Superhero’s gatherings.  I will not be sharing anything that was shared in confidence, only general information that may be helpful and supportive to the Superheroes out there who do not live in Oshkosh and therefore are not able to attend our gatherings.  We know you are here in spirit and benefitting from the work being done here! 


The First Gathering

We had the initial gathering of the New Superheroes last night with great energy, enthusiasm and support.  The gathering consisted of men and women between the ages of 23 and 75 – a diverse group with some glaringly obvious common characteristics.  (For more on the New Superheroes, go HERE).  Last’s night gathering was a sharing of experiences, and what arose as most pressing for the group was:

A profound sense of knowing they are here for a reason  – ultimately to change the world, but wanting to know how! 

There was also a universal consensus that the time for knowing and acting on this reason is NOW! 

The time is now!

We are at a critical juncture in the evolution of humankind.  Fear, power and control are currently ruling the world resulting in the devastating destruction of our environment and threatening access to the very things we need to survive – namely healthy food, fresh water and clean air.  If things continue along the current trajectory, continuation of our species is certainly in question.  If there was ever a time that we need Superheroes – it is NOW!  The good news is that a powerful breed of humans has been born – men, women and children who KNOW what the world is SUPPOSED to look like, driven by a power within which causes them to FEEL when things in the world are NOT the way they are SUPPOSED to be and equally driven by this power within to SAY and DO something about it.  The Superheroes ARE NOT here to maintain status quo, they are here to CHANGE THE WORLD!  And yes, they will make those uncomfortable who are attached to the current paradigm of materialism, consumerism, gluttony, greed, envy, sloth, and pride, driven by a lust for power and a need for revenge.  The Superheroes are here to bear witness to the tearing down of the current paradigm that is already happening in our midst while preparing to help build the world anew – a world built on love, working in cooperation to establish peace, justice and harmony in our world where all perceived separations are set aside as we embrace the inherent oneness of not only humanity, but all of creation.

Moving Forward

In providing support for the Superheroes and helping them to achieve the purpose for which they were born, future gatherings will address some of the following:

1) Empathy – the gift of empathy inherent within the New Superheroes – how to understand it and how to use it to heal the world without harming one’s self.

2) Fear – learning how to transcend the fear of our gifts and our call – overcoming the inner obstacles to fulfilling our purpose.

3) Fear – dealing with the fear of others – knowing that by simply being in our presence, others will be awakened to their own true nature, to their desire for a better world, some will be able to accept this awakening, others will run in fear, often making us a target of their fear.

4) Fear – not getting drawn into a fearful response to the fear of the world.  Holding tight to the vision of love and letting go of the temptation to letting the media, etc. draw us away from love and into fear.

5) Managing our own Awakening – anxiety, depression, panic attacks, sleeplessness, physical discomfort, etc. can all be signs of Superheroes trying to wake up.  How do we manage our symptoms by accepting our call instead of repressing the call and making our symptoms worse?

6) Finding peace in the midst of the collapsing world.  In a word – spiritual practice!  Meditation, mindfulness, prayer, contemplation, mindful movement, and other activities that lead us to an experience of peace, joy, love, contentment, joy, fulfillment – all are helpful in supporting the call of the Superhero.

7) DISCERNMENT – what are our unique gifts and HOW are we being called to use them for the betterment of our world?

If you are a Superhero and living in the Oshkosh area, please join us:

Mondays 4:30 – 6:00pm

Please call or email for details on location (920) 230-1313 or


Posted in Discernment, Empowerment, Superheroes, Truth, world changes

Superheroes Among Us

Bad Buys, Victims and Superheroes

There are three kinds of people in the world:

  • Those who seek after power and control, manipulating through intimidation and fear.
  • Those who are manipulated and controlled, victimized by their fear.
  • Those who move through their fear, seeking and working for a world ruled by love.

In the world of comic books, the “bad guys” make up the first kind of people – your Lex Luthors, Penguins, Jokers, Green Goblins, Skeletors, Boris and Natashas, Shegos, Drakkens, Mojo Jojos, etc.  The towns people, people of Gotham City, Metropolis, etc. make up the second group – those victimized by the bad guys.  And it is the Superheroes – Wonder Woman, Kim Possible, Batman, Superman, Spiderman, the Teen Titans, etc. who save the day, restoring peace, harmony and justice to the world.


Real World Bad Guys and Superheroes

The real world, in many ways, is no different than the comic book world.  There are “bad guys” ruling the world through intimidation and fear, those who suffer under the power and control tactics of the “bad guys,” and those who want to do something about it in an effort to restore justice, peace and harmony to the world.  Superheroes are real and they are living and walking among us – many of them just trying to wake up to their gifts and their call. If you are reading this blog, it is likely that YOU are one of the Superheroes!

We Have Come to Save the Day!

If you are one of the Superheroes, on some level, YOU KNOW IT! And you know it in the following ways:

  • A frustration, impatience, angst, maybe even rage over the current state of the world.
  • Inside of you, you know of a better world – a world ruled by love, lived out in peace, harmony, justice, collaborative leadership, tolerance and acceptance.
  • There is something inside of you that YEARNS for the world you know in your heart, and you feel compelled to do something about it, though perhaps you feel overwhelmed by the task and alone in your vision.
  • You may have struggled to find a place of belonging in this world.  Between the “bad guys” and those paralyzed by fear and complacent within the status quo, you often wonder where you fit in.
  • The traditional models of education, government, medicine, religion, etc. don’t work for you.
  • Perhaps you have tried to share your vision and your gifts and been ridiculed, condemned, or maybe even punished for trying to speak your truth.
  • You may have struggled with anxiety, depression, panic attacks, sensitivity issues (environmental, food, etc.) (which are all actually symptoms of your SOUL trying to wake you up to your Superpowers!)

If any of the above speaks to you, you are most likely a SUPERHERO and the time of your awakening is NOW!


Come join us!

If you are in the Oshkosh area, and you think you might be a Superhero, please join us on:

Monday, July 7th at 4:30 pm

for an initial gathering of the Superheroes.  From there we will map out a plan for how often and when we will gather for:





In our gatherings, we will:

  • Look at the unique gifts and call of the New Superheroes
  • Learn how to manage the anxiety, depression, panic and unique sensitivities that often accompany this call.
  • Utilize mindfulness and creativity tools for discovering, nurturing and cultivating your Superpowers.
  • Explore the ways in which you are called to use your unique gifts.

WonderWomanFor more information, click HERE, or call or email Lauri Lumby (aka Wonder Woman) at (920) 230-1313,




Posted in Midlife Journey

Midlife and Menopause – Childhood Dreams

The purpose of a midlife crisis, perimenopause and menopause (from a spiritual perspective) is to move us beyond childbearing to birthing ourselves…and this is as true for men as it is for women.  During midlife and menopause, we are invited to leave behind the life we have known to make room for the new life that is trying to be born through us.  In birthing our new selves, we are birthing our Soul – the unique way we are creatively gifted to find meaning, purpose, connection and fulfillment in our lives and the way in which we find fulfillment by contributing to the betterment of our world. While aspects of the midlife journey seem unpleasant, parts of it are sheer joy, in particular, the opportunity to rediscover and reclaim our childhood dreams.  Today’s blog is about rediscovering our childhood dreams and how they hold a clue about what our Soul longs to be.

Midlife-Menopause-Childhood Dreams
Midlife-Menopause-Childhood Dreams

Midlife and Menopause – Childhood Dreams

While midlife can certainly be a challenging process, and no one relishes the idea of having to experience anxiety, depression, panic, frustration, rage or grief in midlife, the journey is not all about pain. In fact, the goal of the midlife journey is JOY, and let me assure you, there are some amazing moments of joy that show up for those truly open to embracing and indulging the midlife journey.  In particular, we discover in midlife that from the moment of our conception, our Soul left behind clues as to who it wants us to be.  At midlife, we get to go back through our past and rediscover all of these clues which when put together, present a picture as to what will give us meaning, fulfillment and purpose in our lives and how we are called to serve the betterment of the world.

Midlife and Menopause – Seeking the Treasure

Finding the clues that our Soul left behind as reminders of who it wants to be is as simple as going back to our childhood and examining how we spent our time and what in those experiences gave us joy, helped us feel content and whole and taught us how to love.  I will share a few examples from my own life to help get you started in your own exploration.

1) Bewitched – My favorite TV series of all time!  Samantha Stevens and her magical shenanigans revealed to me my inner belief in magic and mystery and grounded my own sense of tenacity and playfulness.  I admired Samantha’s spunk and her refusal to be tied down by somebody else’s rules.  She also demonstrated that no matter how hard we try, we cannot deny our true nature!

2) Mary Poppins – My favorite movie of all time!  Mary Poppins showed me my outer perfectionistic nature while revealing my ability to swoop in to empower others to achieve their greatest potential.  Mary also showed me my own depths of compassion and desire to help those in need….and that money and power are not how I want to measure my life.

3) Grandpa’s Cabin – We spent our summer weekends tucked into the wooded magic of Lake Lumby – my great-grandparent’s homestead of virgin forest, natural sand beach and glacier lake.  We were free to explore the woods and the water and here I felt safe.  It was here that I discovered fall as my favorite season and that the aroma of crunching fall leaves, fallen pine needles and bonfires as the scent of my Soul.

4) Music – Raised on 60’s folk, classic country, the Osmond Brothers and Partridge Family and trained in classical piano, I discovered music as the key to soothing my inner savage beast.  When I felt frustrated, angry, impatient, sad or constricted, I need only turn to the piano or retreat to my room to sing and dance and I was once again made whole.

5) Church – Yes, I am one of those weird children who actually liked church.  Church was the one time in the week when I could leave the rest of the world behind and simply be with God.  Here I found the peace and solitude that eluded me elsewhere.  It was also in church where I found my belief in hope, new life and the call of vocation.

6) Classic Horror Movies – On rainy Saturday afternoons, I found myself drawn to the old 1950’s black and white horror flicks they played on TV.  Here I found my shadow….the parts of myself I might otherwise keep hidden, but which would later surface as amazing gifts….the ability to be present to myself and others in their pain….the courage to face my inner demons….and the persistence to continue on the journey until all the monsters are vanquished so that the light may find its return.

What were the things of childhood which gave you joy, helped you feel content and whole? 

If you are looking for guidance and support in birthing your Soul, Lauri Ann Lumby is available for one-on-one mentoring.  Call (920) 230-1313 or email to find out more.

Posted in Midlife Journey

Symptoms of Midlife and Menopause – Dealing with Rage

The purpose of a midlife crisis, perimenopause and menopause (from a spiritual perspective) is to move us beyond childbearing to birthing ourselves…and this is as true for men as it is for women.  During midlife and menopause, we are invited to leave behind the life we have known to make room for the new life that is trying to be born through us.  In birthing our new selves, we are birthing our Soul – the unique way we are creatively gifted to find meaning, purpose, connection and fulfillment in our lives and the way in which we find fulfillment by contributing to the betterment of our world. There are a whole slew of symptoms that arise to alert us to the fact that we are facing midlife, perimenopause and menopause – anxiety, depression, restlessness, impatience, discontent, sorrow, loneliness, relationship issues and rage.  In today’s blog, we explore rage as a symptom of midlife and how to deal with it.


Symptoms of Midlife, Perimenopause and Menopause – Dealing with Rage

In the process of birthing ourselves during the midlife transition, a whole slew of symptoms emerge with three purposes:

1) To alert/WAKE US UP to the fact that we have entered the midlife stage of human development.

2) To let us know that our Soul – the uniquely creative way in which we have been gifted to find meaning, purpose and fulfillment in our lives – is trying to be born.

3) To give us an opportunity to clear out all the old, unresolved and ungrieved issues from our past which might stand as an obstacle to the birthing of our Soul.

Rage, as a symptom of midlife, perimenopause and menopause, does all of these things.  Rage shows up to remind us of all the past betrayals, resentments, disappointments, losses and hurts that have not yet been processed, healed and released.  While rage shows up to clean our inner house, Rage also has a unique and special purpose.

Symptoms of Midlife, Perimenopause and Menopause – Rage in a Cage

In the lifetime leading up to the midlife (perimenopause and menopause) transition, most of us have spent an enormous amount of time and energy keeping a lid on our truth.  Ignoring our needs.  Denying our passions.  Silencing our hopes and dreams.  Putting a gag over our truth. At midlife, our Soul screams, “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!”  This is where rage steps in.  Rage, during midlife, is more often than not, all of our bottled up truths, suppressed needs, repressed passions trying to find their way out.  For just a moment, imagine that you are a volcano and all of your needs, truths, secret desires, hidden gifts, passions, hopes and dreams are molten lava….bubbling and boiling and wanting to come forth out of the world, but you have placed 300 tons of stones and rocks on top of your boiling truths.  At midlife, the pressure of this boiling mass of creativity, dreams and passions can no longer be contained and will eventually EXPLODE out of you….often in a fit of rage….and if not in an explosion, it will come out sideways in impatience, frustration, seething resentments.  The remedy to Rage in midlife… to uncover your truths, name and claim your needs, set healthy boundaries for yourself and your loved ones, explore your passions, rediscover your childhood dreams…..and LET THEM SPEAK.  In allowing our truths to be known, our rage subsides and we find contentment, peace and joy.

Lauri Ann Lumby offers support for the midlife journey through one-on-one mentoring, workshops and classes.  To learn more, call (920) 230-1313 or email

Posted in Midlife Journey

Surviving Midlife


Somewhere between the ages of 35 and 45, women begin the process of the midlife journey – a process through which they move beyond childbearing to birthing themselves.  For many, the advent of this transition comes in the form of a rude awakening, personal crisis or tragedy and continues through volatile physical and emotional changes which seem at once to be disconcerting and confusing.  The purpose of the midlife journey is to knock women out of the comfort of status quo and into the passion, meaning and purpose that will define their lives beyond motherhood.  Like childbirth, the midlife journey can be dangerous and fraught with pain, but like the birth of a child, midlife can produce a gift beyond measure and miraculous to behold. 

The Joy of Midlife
The Joy of Midlife



Common signs that you might be in the midst of the midlife transition:

Experiences of:

  • Restlessness
  • Boredom
  • Loneliness
  • Longing
  • Discontent
  • Impatience, anger,  rage
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Panic attacks
  • Physical and emotional changes
  • Grief
  • Sadness


If you are looking for guidance or support through the midlife transitions, contact Lauri at (920) 230-1313 or

Relationship Issues in Midlife

Our intimate relationships are especially vulnerable during the midlife transition as women are compelled to seek meaning, purpose and fulfillment beyond motherhood and partnership, thereby changing the former rules of engagement.  Further complicating relationship issues during this time of transition is a serious lack of knowledge and education about the midlife journey and the pathologizing of this transition that is common in Western Medicine.

It is during this time that many couples experience, what I have come to call, The Dark Night of the Relationship The Dark Night is a critical stage in any long-standing, committed relationship.  This is a stage that no one tells us about, neither would we believe it could happen to us as we stood doe-eyed awaiting the celebratory nuptials.  The Dark Night of the Relationship is real, it is necessary and when committed and aware, some relationships will survive it. Some will not have the knowledge, patience, trust or stamina to survive.  And some will find after the stage of the Dark Night that the marriage should not continue and divorce is a necessary and supportive option. The Dark Night frequently occurs during the midlife transition, and deserves to be treated gently and with effective tools for navigating a thorough discernment of what is in the highest good for the couple involved.  To learn more about the Dark Night of the Relationship, click HERE.

If you are looking for guidance or support through the Dark Night of the Relationship, contact Lauri at (920) 230-1313 or

Let’s Not Forget the Men!

Admittedly, most of my midlife experience has been with women.  Men, however, are not immune to the sometimes treacherous journey of midlife.  Like women, men’s midlife journey is about seeking a greater level of creative fulfillment beyond what they have known in their career, in parenting or in their intimate relationships.  The destination for men and women is ultimately the same – a fuller expression of SOUL – the uniquely creative way in which they were gifted to find meaning, purpose, connection, fulfillment and through which they are called to contribute to the betterment of the world.

If you are looking for guidance or support through the midlife transitions, contact Lauri at (920) 230-1313 or

Posted in mental illness, Midlife Journey, Returning book, women

Midlife is not a pathology

And other myths they tell us about middle age, peri-menopause, menopause, midlife crisis.  This one is for women, but maybe the men in our lives would benefit from knowing too that their women are NOT going crazy…..we are just trying to be born


Waiting rooms and clinics

Psychology, counseling and doctors’ offices are full of women between the ages of 30 and 70 who are looking for relief of symptoms that are uncomfortable and that someone (including their inner critic) told them were bad:  anxiety, depression, panic, hot flashes, death chills, tremors, headaches, belly aches, body aches and the dreaded of all dreaded symptoms :  MOOD SWINGS.  Often (but fortunately not always) the Western medical system’s response to these symptoms is to support the myth that because we are experiencing these symptoms, there is something wrong with us – something worthy of medication, hospitalization and sometimes invasive surgeries to remove the offending female parts.

Scalpel please

Then there is the whole array of physical changes that take place in the bodies of women over 30 – lines begin to appear on our faces, our hair begins to grey, body parts start to move and our bodies begin to soften.  Again, someone told us that these changes are BAD and that as these changes unfold, we become less and less desirable by the day.  The Western response – CUT COLOR LIFT SUCK DYE.  (or should I say “die?”)  And again, we place ourselves under the knife in order that the offending part(s) might be removed, stuffed, uplifted, sucked out.

Birthing Ourselves

What someone forgot to tell us is that midlife IS NOT a pathology.  These symptoms that we are experiencing are not bad, neither do they signal that something is wrong with us.  Instead, what these symptoms are letting us know is that there is something VERY RIGHT going on and something that promises to bring us something incredibly wonderful.   The something wonderful that these symptoms are bringing us to is OURSELF!  Midlife is the process through which the hormones in our bodies shift from their focus on birthing babies to the very sacred process of BIRTHING OURSELVES!

Making friends with our emotions

One of the reasons we are so uncomfortable with the midlife journey and are therefore tempted to treat it as a pathology, is because we are so dang uncomfortable with our emotions.  As women, we have been socialized to believe that in order to be loved, we have to be pleasing, gentle, kind, agreeable, cooperative, submissive, quiet and peaceful.  During the childbearing years, the special mix of hormones in our body create a veil.  This veil holds our truth in check and allows us to set our own hopes, dreams, visions, passions and needs on the shelf where they gather dust waiting for everyone else’s needs to be met.  The catch is that our truth is not really being held at bay, it is just gathering resentment for being silenced and our hopes and dreams that are gathering dust are seething in frustration and impatience because they know that the needs of others will never be fully satisfied.  So when our children are viable and the hormonal mix begins to shift, the veil tumbles to the ground and the shelf holding our dreams collapses.  In this upheaval, all the emotions that we have held at bay suddenly come crashing in.  Let me introduce you to:  rage, crying jags, sorrow and depression.  Our initial response is to try to contain these feelings, to shove them down, to shut them up.  As we try to put the lid on the volcano of emotions that are trying to erupt, they wreak havoc with our innards:  depression, anxiety, panic attacks, hot flashes, death chills, tremors, migraines, acid reflux, heart palpitations, vertigo, etc. etc. etc.  The harder we resist these feelings, the harder they work to get our attention.  And as my Buddhist friends say, “What we resists persists.”  When these emotions begin to come to the surface, if we desire to remain sane and healthy, we need to make friends with them.  Here is a little poem I wrote in support of befriending my emotions:

The Fire Within

There is a fire within that calls to me.

A primordial fire –  the burning bush that blazes but does not consume.

It is the fire of inspiration.

The fire that calls us forth, pushing us on.

Beginning as a spark.

Growing as it is fed.

Dying if not nourishment given.

Possessing a hunger that cannot be quenched.

Ever-desiring nourishment.

It hungers for





It yearns for time alone to





Requiring and understanding the cleansing power of tears,

the purgative power of anger,

the replenishing power of mourning.


This fire – the Spirit within us.

Tend her well.

Precious and necessary for survival.

Preserve and tend her well

As she thrives, so shall you! 


In my upcoming book, Returning – a woman’s midlife journey to herself, I share my own journey of befriending my emotions in the process of BIRTHING MYSELF while giving you tools to do the same.  Our emotions want to be known so that they can reveal for us the SELF that is trying to be born in us – the truth that is trying to be known and to be made known.  The SELF that is trying to be born is made up of our dreams, our passions, our creativity, our sensuality, our hopes and visions.  And…this SELF is not quiet.  She is bold, flashy, loud, obvious, insistent, confident, sensual, passionate, sometimes naughty….she is all the parts of ourselves that we have kept silently hidden away….and SHE WANTS TO BE MADE KNOWN.  The good news is that most often, SHE does not need to be medicated or surgically removed….she just wants to take off her shoes and DANCE UPON THIS EARTH, and she does not wish to dance alone.  So…let’s dance, shall we?

copyright 2013  Lauri Ann Lumby