Posted in Spiritual Direction

Conditioned by Shame

Shame is one of the forces of manipulation that we are currently unraveling from at this stage in our cultural/spiritual evolution. Specifically – the shame we have been conditioned to feel by the patriarchal/hierarchical power structures who for the past 5000 years have ruled our world.  These power structures, which are rooted in fear, power and control, have fashioned “rules” from which they benefit while the rest of us suffer.  Shame is the tool they use to get us to comply with their rules. Let me offer a few examples:

  • If you anger, disappoint or turn away from “god” you will go to hell and here are the ways you will anger and disappoint “god.”
  • If you don’t dress a certain way, carry a certain purse, if your body isn’t a certain size, people won’t love you.
  • If you don’t succeed in school, you are a failure.
  • If you didn’t learn the lesson, or if you did learn it but can’t communicate it in the way we expect you to, you will get a bad grade.
  • If you don’t pay your bills on time, you will be punished.
  • If you don’t make a certain amount of money, you are a failure.
  • If you are sick and need medical care, but don’t have money to pay for it, you are lazy.
  • If you are a working mother and can’t get to work on time because you have to take your child to work, you will be fired.
  • If you got pregnant out of wedlock, you are a whore.
  • If you are having sex outside of marriage you are also a whore.
  • If you are raped, it’s your fault.

 

The list goes on and on and on.

 

These are the threats that have been doled out to us by the existing power structures to imprison us with fear and manipulate us with shame.

 

NO MORE!

It is time for us to unravel from this shame by:

  1. Refusing its power over us.
  2. Taking back our own power.
  3. Healing the wounds that have been implanted within us by this shame so that we are less likely to be vulnerable to shame’s manipulations.

 

For further support in healing your own shame, especially if it relates to money, check out my new online “course” – part instruction, part self-reflection, part shamanic healing journey. Free yourself once and for all of the power structure’s means of keeping you in shame around money:

Click on image to learn more and register. Only $9.99!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Authentic Freedom

Healing Your Money Fears

Click on image to learn more and register.

A powerful healing practice for freeing yourself of the fears and woundedness you have experienced around money and a practice you can return to again and again when your money fears are triggered.

Integrating:

  • Learning
  • Self-Reflection
  • Automatic Writing
  • Meditation
  • Guided Visualization
  • Touch
  • Current and Ancestral Memory
  • Light Language
  • Breath
  • Your own Divine power to heal.

 

Created and Facilitated by Lauri Ann Lumby

Only $9.99 with unlimited access.

Register HERE

 

For the vast majority of people, MONEY is the greatest source of anxiety and unrest. Whether we do not have enough, or we have plenty but spend time worrying about how long our money will last (or how much we should lock away for the future), money is a trigger.  Money triggers fear, anxiety, worry, guilt, jealousy, and shame which then trigger our compulsive behaviors around money.

Scripture says that “Money is the root of all evil,” but I would suggest that money is not the cause of the compulsive nature of our world. Instead, the cause of what harms us is our unhealed wounds around money. Specifically, places and situations around which money has been used as:

  • Manipulation
  • Control
  • Shame
  • Guilt
  • Punishment
  • Coercion

For centuries we have been conditioned to be under the control of the power forces that manipulate through fear and money has become one of their greatest weapons. When we give our power away to this fear-based conditioning around money, it drains us of our own Divine power, leaving us unable to fulfill our mission on this plane. As we heal the money wounds within us, the space is cleared for our Divine inner power to take over, empowering us to experience the life of joyful fulfillment that is meant for all of us to enjoy.

This healing process is completed in three stages. Please set aside 60-90 minutes to complete the whole process and then return to it every time you find your money wounds triggered. Each time you revisit this process, you will be less prone to being triggered by past money wounds and more free to pursue the life of your dreams.

 

With all my love!

 

Lauri Ann Lumby

www.authenticfreedom.love

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Inspiration

The Lies We’ve Been Told about Money

For thousands of y ears, we’ve been deceived about the meaning and value of money. With the advent of patriarchal culture, the overall message around money has been:

Pay or be punished.

Pay or be killed.

And the more subtle: if you don’t spend money on this item, you will not be loved (because without it you are not pretty enough, skinny enough, fashionable enough, successful enough, etc. etc. etc. )

Whether propagated by our feudal lords, rulers and kings, the government or the Church, (or advertising) the message has been the same – you will be punished or killed if you do not pay those who are “over” you. When patriarchy destroyed the existing egalitarian norm, money suddenly became a tool for manipulation and control wrapped in a cloak of fear.

This was not the original intention of or use for money. In an earlier time, money was created simply as a means of exchange – specifically as a way for one person to say:

“Thank you for the product of service I have just received in support of my needs and here is something through which you can express thanks to the person who next provides a product or service in support of your needs.”

Money was simply a way of saying “Thank you,” while supporting the next person in doing the same. In this money was not the “price” or “cost” (words implying punishment or deprivation) of goods and services, it was an offering of gratitude and support for those who were supporting others in getting their needs met.  This model reflected mutuality, along with a fair exchange.  Here no one suffered lack because the money continued its movement from one individual to the next as people shared their unique gifts with those meant to enjoy them.

As we continue to move through the death of the patriarchy, perhaps money and our relationship with it is one of those things we are being invited to transform.

 

What are your beliefs/attitudes around money?

Is your relationship with money rooted in fear or gratitude (do you feel pressure to pay your bills and fear around those payments or are you writing your check from a place of gratitude for the services given?)

Reflect on how you spend your money. Where do you see yourself feeling pressured to purchase things you do not really need, instead of channeling your “offerings” toward that which you actually need or would benefit from?

How are you being invited to transform those beliefs from punishment to gratitude?

 

 

 

 

Posted in Authentic Freedom, building the new world, Christ Consciousness, Empowerment, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Healing, Inspiration, self-actualization

No Reward for Being Good

A letter to all healers and change-makers

Lauri Ann Lumby, OM, OPM, MATS
Lauri Ann Lumby, OM, OPM, MATS

My Dear Sisters and Brothers,

Yesterday I was gifted with a startling realization – one that I believe applies to many (if not all) of the amazing women, men and children I know who are here to heal and change our world.  The roots of this lie within our childhoods, the roles we took on, our beliefs about those roles and how these beliefs have translated into our adult lives – specifically in our tendency to take the unique and special people we are and the gifts we bring to our world for granted and the physical manifestation (or rather, the lack thereof) of taking our gifts and ourselves for granted….which for many of us has translated into struggles over money. (UGH).

It begins in our childhood and in the roles we took on within our family of origin and then brought forth into our life experiences.  For many who become healers/changemakers, these childhood roles include: protector, peacemaker, mediator, “good girl/boy,” caretaker, approval seeker, the responsible one, etc.  These roles become so much a part of who we are that they are often taken for granted.  “Oh, that’s just how (insert your name here) is.”  While on one hand it simply is who we are and what we do and likely the result of the gifts we brought into this world, no one thinks anything of it. Never is there recognition or reward for the effort we put in (often internally) to assume these roles or the inherent gifts we were given that allowed us to take on these roles in the first place. Additionally, there is no acknowledgment for the gifts that come forth out of these roles, which for many include: courage, self-sufficiency, discipline, foresight, empathy, compassion, kindness, the desire to help and to serve, etc. What we take away from these lived experiences is the understanding that there is no reward for being good.  Even more devastating perhaps is the understanding that there is no value to who we are or what we do because “it is simply who and how we are.”

This understanding then follows us into our adult lives.  As we found our calling to be healers/changemakers and understand that this IS who we are and WHAT we came here to do, our past experiences color our beliefs and feelings around this.  If it is simply who and what we do and who and what we are has always been taken for granted, then what value/reward/recognition is there for the gifts we bring into the world to make the world a better place?  We see the manifestation of this is our struggles with money – in our struggles with charging for our services, for asking for an adequate exchange for sharing our gifts in the world, etc.  We also see it in the constant struggle of getting our names and our gifts and services out there…. It often seems as if what works for everyone else simply doesn’t work for us, making us wonder if we’re simply invisible!

When we take our gifts for granted, others do too.  When we fail to see our true magnificence, others will also fail to see it.  The remedy to all of this has already begun in the demon being named – the false belief that there is no reward for being good. The next step is believing in the unique gifts we bring to the world and that what we bring IS TRULY UNIQUE!  To help you/all of us with this, I share the following meditation:

Place yourself within your own body for a moment….go deep within yourself and REMEMBER.  Remember the magnificent gifts you brought into the world that allowed you to become the person you became in your family of origin – protector, peacemaker, mediator, etc. etc. etc.  Remember the gifts that already existed within you that allowed you to become who you became – courage, tenacity, patience, creativity, empathy, self-sufficiency, independence, responsible, deep listener, observer, rememberer, playful, entertaining, discipline, etc. etc. etc.  Remember that your mission and purpose were already present within you at the moment of your birth and reflect on how that mission and purpose was informed, developed, cultivated through your childhood experiences (good and bad).  Remember how your gifts are unique from those of your peers.  Remember how you were set apart as (or thought of yourself as) different.  Remember the moment you became aware of your calling and everything you have done to pursue and fulfill that calling.  Remember every training, every class, every experience that supported the development of your gifts and your calling.  Remember ALL THE HARD WORK and everything it took within you, every sacrifice you have made to get where you are today.  Recognize that you are unique in having pursued your calling!  Recognize what you had to leave behind in order to fulfill this calling.  Acknowledge all those who have had the opportunity to pursue their calling and were too afraid to continue.  Recognize the courage, tenacity, patience, faith, stubbornness that got you to where you are today.  SEE the brilliant star-like presence that lies within the center of your heart.  This is the Light of the Divine that dwells within you and which IS your soul’s calling.  See this light pulsing and glowing and shining forth into the world from within you.  Watch as it reaches out into the farthest reaches of space, bringing forth your light and love into the world.  As it reaches out into the world, observe as it draws toward you all those who are in need of your unique gifts – gifts only you can give them.  Watch as those who need your gifts reach toward you in acknowledgement and gratitude for your gifts and know in your heart that only you can fulfill this need within them.  FEEL the recognition of your gifts as seen through their eyes and FEEL the value of the gratitude they feel in receiving your gifts.  FEEL the value of who you are and what you bring into the world. FEEL the value of all your hard work, years of study and practice, etc.  KNOW that what you have is special and unique and that there are thousands, if not millions, clamoring for your gifts.  KNOW that as you believe in the value of your unique giftedness so too will the world.

As we commemorate the birth of love into the world in the person of Jesus who became Christ,  this is my prayer for you:  That in 2018 you REALIZE the magnificence that you are and experience the abundant reward in being good.

Merry Christmas,

Love,

Lauri

 

 

Posted in About Lauri, Authentic Freedom, Being Human, Lessons, The Seven Deadly Compulsions

Teacher, Teach Thyself. Lessons about Money

Below is an excerpt from this week’s Authentic Freedom Academy Weekly Empowerment Newsletter. If you are interested in learning more or subscribing, click HERE. 

 

Teacher Teach Thyself!

I’m going in a little bit different direction with this week’s empowerment newsletter. Instead, I stand before you naked and vulnerable and confess to you a lesson that I learned (and am apparently still learning) TODAY through this week’s gospel reading. The lesson for me is about money and the first of the seven spiritual fears as outlined in Authentic Freedom – the fear that there is not enough.

A little background. Since stepping out on my own, beyond the Institutional Church into the secular world – offering what the Church traditionally offers….or rather what they SHOULD be offering – I have offered a sliding fee scale. I have set a suggested fee for my programs and services and asked people to “pay what they are able.” I have done this because I believe this is what Jesus would have done. (Actually, Jesus seemed to offer what he did freely…..but in this culture, I’m not sure this is possible. I do need to eat, pay rent, put clothes on my children’s backs). I have offered this sliding fee scale believing that if I provide for others, God would provide for me. Admittedly, the results have been mixed. I have always had what I needed to survive, AND I have had to be very creative with finances and trusted on the generosity of family and friends to make this all work (and believe me, “making this work” is a subjective measurement!). For me personally, this has been a rollercoaster journey of trying to trust, being afraid, feeling as if I am being supported and shaking my fist at God when finances look grim….which they often do.

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From the client and student side of this kind of arrangement, again, the response has been mixed. Many, who are financially able, are happy to pay my full fees, because they value themselves, they value the work we do together and they are willing to do the work. The majority are not able to pay my full fees, but do pay what they are able and are happy to do so…again, because they value themselves, the work, etc. With these folks, a) and b), I am humbled and honored to work. I am grateful for their ability to pay because I know they are being honest and sincere in their part of the exchange….AND I know they are truly paying what they are able….perhaps even making sacrifices elsewhere so that they can pay to support themselves.

Then there are the freeloaders. Those who ask for a reduced fee, when they don’t really need it. Those who I know have the funds, and who then offer me a ridiculously low exchange – as if they believe I should be doing this work for free or that they are entitled in some way to special treatment. Those who beg for a lower fee, or ask to be given a “scholarship” and then tell me about all the other ways they are spending their money on things that are not a necessity. To my ego, this is maddening, disappointing and insulting. And to the part of me who worries about how she is going to pay the bills, this is terrifying.

So what to do? Some have told me to “get a real job.” Others have suggested I dilute my time and energies with part time work to supplement my pay. Whoo whoo people have told me to “think the right thoughts and the money will be there.” Others have suggested I get tough around my money policies – again, setting higher fees, boundaries around payment, etc. All of this geared toward “success” and “reward” in the material world. Believe me, I have tried all of the above and every time I do, I fall FLAT on my face. I try to set boundaries and instead end up putting my own foot in my mouth by going after the wrong person. The “real jobs” elude me – even those for which I am perfectly qualified and know all the right people. I couldn’t think any more “right thoughts” if my life depended on it. I’ve tried the part-time thing and what I discovered is that after doing the soul-sucking part time work, I have nothing left to give to my clients, classes, writing, etc. and my business ends up drying up and floating away into nothing. Again, all of these efforts, as it turns out, are geared toward “securing” success and reward as they are defined in the material world.

jesus

Jesus taught something different:

“When you hold a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind; blessed indeed will you be because of their inability to repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”  Luke 14: 14

The answer to my quandary about what do to, is to DO NOTHING. All this time, I’ve been looking for the “fair exchange” in the material realm. In this Sunday’s gospel, Jesus reminds us, it is not in “this world” where we shall have our reward. Instead, it is in the other world that is not defined by human measures – the “kingdom of God” that Jesus taught was within.

I don’t exactly have that all figured out yet, what that means, or how I might experience this, but my sense is that it has something to do with:

  • Offering my services freely and openly to those who need them.
  • Gratefully accepting whatever is offered in the way of payment.
  • Checking my ego at the door when my fears are triggered by money (or lack thereof).
  • No longer defining my value in monetary terms or in worldly measures of “success” (like whether or not I got a big-house publishing contract or have an email mailing list of 30,000).
  • No longer believing it is my job to set an example for others about money and self-value (especially if money has nothing to do with our value….it is just another lie we’ve been telling ourselves).
  • Simply letting go of the money thing as the central focus of my life and turning my attention instead to the Divine within, trusting I (the Big I) will take care of me. (YIKES!)

This is scary stuff! Trusting that all my needs will be met as I turn my attention inward, in connection with that which some might call God? Trusting that all my needs will be met as I minister to all those who are in need of and who might benefit from my services? Trusting all my needs will be met no matter who or how people are able to pay? Trusting all my needs will be met when the reward is not outside of me but is within? Again, this is scary stuff. And when I face this fear (more than any of the other Authentic Freedom fears), I ask myself, “Why did I write that dang book?” Because now I have to LIVE IT! YIKES!

AuthenticFreedomcover

As I have said, and learned a million times, “Authentic Freedom” is not for the faint of heart! But if I’m going to teach this material, I’d dang well better live it!

So, there you have it! I’ll keep you posted as to how this all turns out. In the meantime, I invite you to reflect on this fear and its place in your own life? Where are you fearful that there won’t be enough? How central of a role do thoughts about money play in your life? How are you measuring success in material terms? How is your own sense of value defined by money? This is deep and tough stuff….especially in a culture whose refrain has become “Show me the money.” Let me know how you work this thing out!

Humbly yours,

Lauri

To learn more about our weekly Empowerment Newsletter, click HERE. 

 

 

 

 

Posted in About Lauri, Authentic Freedom, Being Human, Forgiveness, Freedom, guilt, Healing, Jesus, Lessons, manifestation, self-actualization, Spiritual Practices, teachers

There’s Nothing Noble or Courageous about Being Poor

beingpoormeme

I share my stories of personal growth and transformation because I learned long ago that as I heal these wounds in myself, similar wounds are somehow being healed in others…especially when I am courageous enough to share.

So….here goes another sharing….this one confessing a long-held jealousy and hatred of the rich – especially those who seem to bask in their privilege bragging, boasting, showing off all that their wealth provides (ala Kim Kardashian and Kanye West).

I am totally aware that this pattern of jealously is merely a projection of my resentment over “not being rich.” I also now understand that it has also been a reflection of the way in which I have rejected the part of me that longs for a life of comfort where my financial needs are all being met and in which I don’t have to worry where my next rent payment will come from.  Deeply imbedded in this rejection is a coping mechanism that I was only able to identify today – I had somehow, somewhere decided that there is something noble and courageous in being poor (I sense this somehow stems from my Catholic upbringing).  In spite of Jesus’ admonishment about it being more difficult for the rich to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven that it would be for a camel to fit into the eye of a needle (the explanation of which is a whole other blog entirely!), there is nothing noble or courageous about being poor!

My earliest recollection of “hating the rich” started with my grade school nemesis, who here shall remain unnamed. This nemesis was not initially an enemy, in fact, she was a friend (or so I thought).  She was the only one among my classmates who was obvious about what her parents possessed in the way of status, power, position and “wealth.”  Most of us didn’t care, (which is perhaps why she was so loud about it.) and it truly wasn’t her verbosity that soured our friendship….it was her cruelty. Somewhere, somehow, she decided I was her competition.  This envy then came through in duplicitous acts – being kind to me and inviting me to her parties, then being downright cruel to me every chance she got.  In my young mind, mean and rich must mean the rich are mean, right?

Then came “Jane P. Morgan” (name changed to protect the guilty).  “JP Morgan” was a sorority “sister.”  She was also “new rich.”  Every single day, she would descend the front staircase of the TriDelt house and loudly proclaim to anyone who was within earshot, an inventory of what she was wearing that day (or should I say “who”), and how much each item cost.  Her $700.00 Gucci shoes, $300.00 Coach purse, $300.00 Ellen Tracey skirt, and $400.00 Ralph Lauren sweater.  Nobody gave a crap what, who or the price of what she was wearing that day.  Because the seed of money-hate had already been planted in me, I self-righteously echoed the inventory of my own clothing choice for the day – My $30.00 Target knock-off Coach bag, my $5.00 vest and $7.00 skirt from Ragstock and my dad’s old Hanes T-shirt.  Upon reflection, I was as proud of my “Little Orphan Annie” wardrobe as JPM was of her designer fare.  Me thinks we both protesteth too much.

For 35 years, the ghosts of the nemesis and JPM have haunted me – hurling their taunts and jeers over all they have, reminding me of what I do not – Success. Fame.  Status.  Power.  Riches.  Wealth.  Money.  I have intermittently run from these ghosts and when I tire of running, returning their jeers with my own self-righteous poverty. When it isn’t the voice of the nemesis or JPM whispering in my ear, it is the Pepsodent smile of a certain disgustingly rich Christian minister, Kanye and Kim, “The Donald” and every other filthy rich individual who waves the banner of their wealth for all to see.  And when I grew tired of their whispering, I dug my heels even more deeply into my “noble” poverty.

Jesus was poor, right?! (or was he really?????? Scripture doesn’t really say).  The Church always lauded the blessings of the poor, the sick, the lame….they will be the first welcomed into the Kingdom of Heaven.  If I want to be perfect, loved, welcome home by our “Heavenly Creator” it would be better if I were poor, right?  And then I look into the faces of the truly poor and decide that if they are to be fed, clothed, housed, it is best if I make do with only the bare essentials so that they may one day live.  If the rest of the world won’t take care of them, then Lauri Lumby needs to.  Right????

WRONG! And if I didn’t get this message the fourteenth time, God made sure this past weekend that I would get it!  After not just one….but three….encounters with my own resentment toward wealth, I had to ask myself a difficult question:

 

“How is my repulsion of the rich reflective of my own unhealed wounds around money?”

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OUCH. OUCH.  OUCH….and… OUCH!

 

Not just ouch……world spinning, bring me to my knees, full-blown panic attack OUCH!

(Karen Schmidt….are you listening? Thank you for being the first to TRULY see the source of my panic attacks!  I love you!)

 

Again, OUCH which brings me full-circle:

 

There is nothing courageous or noble about being poor! In fact, it sucks!  I’m damn tired of putting the burden of poverty on my own shoulders out of some misplaced wound (lie) about money and those who wield it.

Because here is something I know about the world….

Not every person who is rich is evil. In fact, many rich, kind, benevolent people come to mind:  JK Rowling, Kate Middleton, Oprah Winfrey, Ellen Degeneres (aka “generous”), Meryl Streep, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie….all kinds of rich and famous people do amazingly loving and generous things with their money….money about which they make no boasts.

I also know that within everyone who boasts of their wealth, or shows off what they have, is a wound greater than any wound I could possible imagine. So for them I pray – for their fear, unhealed wounds, insecurities, lack of self-knowledge, etc. the same fear, unhealed wounds, insecurities and lack of self-knowledge that led me to judge the rich in the first place!

HELLO MIRROR!

I’m sorry. Please Forgive Me.  I love you.  Thank you!

And so it is…..AMEN!

When Lauri Ann Lumby isn’t being a self-righteous hag, she is helping others to identify and bring healing to the unhealed wounds within themselves – those wounds which are preventing them from being their most authentic, self-actualized and fulfilled selves.  Click here to learn more about what Lauri Ann Lumby provides through Authentic Freedom Academy. 

 

 

Posted in Authentic Freedom, church, Forgiveness, Healing, Jesus, Lessons, Mary Magdalene, Raised Catholic, Spiritual Practices, teachers

When Old Wounds Come Back to Haunt Us

After Monday’s global message about Building the New World, and yesterday’s call to resurrect the Magdalene and feminine principle with her, I’m turning to a more personal experience, and yet one to which I suspect you can relate and from which we can all learn.

The VOID MOON sucks! After the glow of love that filled our Soul’s at the Blood Moon eclipse, equinox gateway, the intensity of this week’s new moon and the fallout of a moon gone void have been INTENSE.  With the new moon, I had such intense energy within me I thought I might explode, only to meet the following day with DEPRESSION, GRIEF and overwhelming fear….all thanks to old wounds and deeply rooted fears that all decided to pay me a visit.  On the highest level, I know these fears are here to teach me and are only showing up now because they are ready to be healed.  This awareness, however, does not make the fears any less uncomfortable.

Interestingly, these wounds are intimately related to the topics I taught this week in my Authentic Freedom and Mary Magdalene courses, lending support to the idea that the world really is of our own making and for the purpose of our own, personal, evolution. So, here is what decided to show up this week asking for another layer of healing:

MONEY. OMFG! Not even going there!  I’ve been down this road so many times I see the demon and say, “YOU AGAIN!?  Aren’t we done with this dance yet?”  Then I turn to my spiritual practices, say my prayers, borrow from Peter to pay Paul if necessary and then move on.  Then I do the really DEEP work of finding out what is REALLY in the way because, as I keep discovering, it is rarely about MONEY.  Instead, it is about some other wound asking for healing….in the most recent case – the wound over not feeling supported, believing I have to do this all alone, the thought of which then makes me DAMN TIRED. What I really want to do is crawl into bed and sleep for a week, but instead, I see the wound and do my best to care for it, along with the pain in my lower back that always seems to accompany this fear.  If what has happened in the past proves to repeat itself, after tending to the wound and finding relief from this fear, money will once again start flowing toward me….not just away from me!

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REJECTION. Blech.  Yesterday is showed up LOUD AND PROUD in my old wounds over the Church.  Hearing firsthand what I have known for many years – people I know and once (and still) cared for saying all kinds of evil against me – evil that has reached all the way into the hierarchy of the Church where there is apparently a growing file with my name on it.  (Based on what I’ve heard, the file must be enormous!).  Part of me wants to ask, “Don’t you people have anything better to do with your time?”  The other part of me just sighs in resignation over the very real truth that both Jesus and Mary Magdalene were treated in the very same way by the institutions and people around them.  So, who am I to mourn over uninformed and hateful comments made against me “in Jesus’ name?”  Another part of me knows that the things being said against me are simply a reflection of the unhealed wound of rejection in those rejecting me and the extent to which I feel rejected by them is the degree to which they fear being rejected by God.

I weep for their fear and pray for their healing….but still it makes me sad.  Sad to know that there are those “out there” speaking evil against me and against the work I am doing in the world.  So I grieve.  I grieve the relationship with the Church I once enjoyed.  I grieve the loss of the dream.  I grieve the hole in my heart where these “friends” once lived.  I grieve for those who don’t even know me and who hold some sort of personal vendetta against me for the sake of their own self-righteousness.  I grieve for a hierarchy who doesn’t know me except through the lens of someone else’s fear.  I grieve for a Church who has lost another valuable resource and all other lost possibilities because of the wholesale exclusion of anything associated with my name.  And I grieve for myself – for the little girl who found her connection with God in the silent experience of the mass, the woman who found her calling through the words of her pastor, who found her formation in the arms of the Church and who wants nothing but to serve God through Jesus by helping the world to know what she has come to know through Jesus’ message of love – that we are all ONE and that we are ONE with each other through LOVE/God.

Mastery Work: Then, when I am done with my grieving, the true mastery work steps in. I see this all for what it really is – AN OPPORTUNITY TO HEAL MY OWN FEAR OF REJECTION!  It is not a coincidence that the “haters” are showing up now as I am about to step into something magnificent.  As I’m being given an opportunity to step even more fully into my Soul’s purpose, here are those rejecting me and me reacting to their rejection by feeling rejected.  The “mastery” work reminds me that everything showing up in our lives is here for our own evolution.  So those who are showing up reflecting back to me the fear of rejection are here as teachers, giving me an opportunity to see the wound that is not yet healed within me so that I can do the work of healing it so that I can take the next BOLD step toward the purpose of my Soul.  Thank you haters!  And here is the prayer that I will be employing to assist myself in healing the fear of rejection and in doing so, helping them find healing for theirs as well:

 

I’m sorry (to the part of my soul that is feeling rejected)

Please forgive me.

I love you.

Thank you.

 

 

Lauri Ann Lumby offers empowerment training for those who want to change their world. To learn more call (920) 230-1313 or email lauri@authenticfreedom.love.

Posted in Authentic Freedom, Being Human, Faith, God, Initiation, Jesus, Lessons

When I Stopped Believing in God – God’s Response!

Well, as my dear friend Gretchen Herrmann predicted, God did respond to my complete meltdown in yesterday’s blog.  I must preface this response by making it clear that my ultimate frustration is about MONEY.  Doing the work of my Soul and continuing to find the financial piece only by the skin of my teeth….or sometimes even less than this, and having to be really creative about money.  The situation has become increasingly hairy the closer I get to launching my Sunday Service and my fall academy.  I often want to get all Cuba Gooding Jr. on God and shout, “SHOW ME THE MONEY!”  Alas, what is (or isn’t) being shown often tests my faith. 

money-634901_1280

Yesterday morning, immediately after reading Gretchen’s prediction, as I was getting ready to write my weekly meditation newsletter based on this coming Sunday’s scripture, what I’m guessing to be God’s answer showed up.  Then, in case I didn’t get it the first time, while attending my monthly gathering with the local CSJ (Sisters of St. Joseph of Carondolet) community the VERY SAME readings were given as our reflection.  The following are the readings that I’m taking as God’s answer to my meltdown…YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS SHIT UP!!!!!

Reading 1 2 Kgs 4:42-44

A man came from Baal-shalishah bringing to Elisha, the man of God,
twenty barley loaves made from the firstfruits,
and fresh grain in the ear.
Elisha said, “Give it to the people to eat.”
But his servant objected,
“How can I set this before a hundred people?”
Elisha insisted, “Give it to the people to eat.”
“For thus says the LORD,
‘They shall eat and there shall be some left over.’”
And when they had eaten, there was some left over,
as the LORD had said.

Responsorial Psalm Ps 145:10-11, 15-16, 17-18

R. (cf. 16) The hand of the Lord feeds us; he answers all our needs.
Let all your works give you thanks, O LORD,
and let your faithful ones bless you.
Let them discourse of the glory of your kingdom
and speak of your might.
R. The hand of the Lord feeds us; he answers all our needs.
The eyes of all look hopefully to you,
and you give them their food in due season;
you open your hand
and satisfy the desire of every living thing.
R. The hand of the Lord feeds us; he answers all our needs.
The LORD is just in all his ways
and holy in all his works.
The LORD is near to all who call upon him,
to all who call upon him in truth.
R. The hand of the Lord feeds us; he answers all our needs.
feeding-5000-2

GospelJn 6:1-15

Jesus went across the Sea of Galilee.
A large crowd followed him,
because they saw the signs he was performing on the sick.
Jesus went up on the mountain,
and there he sat down with his disciples.
The Jewish feast of Passover was near.
When Jesus raised his eyes
and saw that a large crowd was coming to him,
he said to Philip,
“Where can we buy enough food for them to eat?”
He said this to test him,
because he himself knew what he was going to do.
Philip answered him,
“Two hundred days’ wages worth of food would not be enough
for each of them to have a little.”
One of his disciples,
Andrew, the brother of Simon Peter, said to him,
“There is a boy here who has five barley loaves and two fish;
but what good are these for so many?”
Jesus said, “Have the people recline.”
Now there was a great deal of grass in that place.
So the men reclined, about five thousand in number.
Then Jesus took the loaves, gave thanks,
and distributed them to those who were reclining,
and also as much of the fish as they wanted.
When they had had their fill, he said to his disciples,
“Gather the fragments left over,
so that nothing will be wasted.”
So they collected them,
and filled twelve wicker baskets with fragments
from the five barley loaves
that had been more than they could eat.
When the people saw the sign he had done, they said,
“This is truly the Prophet, the one who is to come into the world.”
Since Jesus knew that they were going to come and carry him off
to make him king,
he withdrew again to the mountain alone.

Ok God.  I get it.  The truth of Abundance.  Chapter Three in my Authentic Freedom book.  And, the closer I get to the fullness of my Soul’s purpose, the harder the ego will work to keep me from that path.  Employ the practices I know for cultivating contentment, surrender and peace.  Resist the temptation to fall into fear and doubt.  And trust I’m on the right path, doing the right thing(s) and that in this, all my needs will be provided for. 
And….could we make it a little less than just by the skin of my teeth please! 

 

Posted in Authentic Freedom, Virtual Church

Virtual Church – Right Relationship with Money

This week’s Authentic Freedom Virtual Church service is LIVE.  The theme this week is MONEY……while rendering unto Caesar what is Caesar’s, are we remembering to render unto God what is God’s?  This week’s service features a guided meditation to assist us in finding balance in that relationship between our material and spiritual needs.

You can attend this week’s service HERE. 

Posted in Authentic Freedom, Spiritual Practices, Virtual Church

Right Relationship with Money

In this week’s Agape’ Newsletter – supplement for the Authentic Freedom Virtual Church service for Sunday, October 19, 2014 – we are invited to examine our relationship with money.  Are we rendering unto Caesar what is Caesar’s and still making room for God?  Find out more below: 

Scripture Reading:

The Pharisees went off and plotted how they might entrap Jesus in speech. They sent their disciples to him, with the Herodians, saying, “Teacher, we know that you are a truthful man and that you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. And you are not concerned with anyone’s opinion, for you do not regard a person’s status. Tell us, then, what is your opinion: Is it lawful to pay the census tax to Caesar or not?” Knowing their malice, Jesus said, “Why are you testing me, you hypocrites? Show me the coin that pays the census tax.” Then they handed him the Roman coin. He said to them, “Whose image is this and whose inscription?” They replied, “Caesar’s.” At that he said to them, “Then repay to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and to God what belongs to God.”

Mt 22: 15-21

Additional Readings:

 Is 45: 1, 4-6

Ps 96: 1, 3, 4-5, 7 -10

1 Thes 1: 1-5b

 

Paying Unto Caesar

This week’s gospel provides an important message for the modern world – the importance of having a “right relationship” with money. As was the case in Jesus’ time, we are human beings living in a material world. As such, it is important to tend to our material needs. In this gospel specifically, the material need being addressed is that of societal support which is provided for through taxation. Such is the case in our culture as well. We have a government structure whose job is to provide for our wellbeing as laid out in the Constitution. In exchange for this support, we pay taxes. As such, whenever we pay taxes, we are “rendering unto Caesar what is Caesar’s,” and this is our responsibility as a US Citizen in exchange for the measures provided for by our government.

What this gospel also reminds us is that we are more than just material beings. As such, our sole focus cannot be on the material. Instead, we are invited to give equal weight to the spiritual support that we need as well. Spiritual support is always provided for us, whether we are paying attention to it or not, but we actually FEEL that support when we “render undo God what is God’s.” In other words, when we set time aside to be PRESENT to our Divine Source of loving support and we do this through our spiritual practice. Prayer, meditation, creative activities, being in nature, etc. are all ways in which we “render unto God what is God’s.”

What proportion of your time are you giving to your material concerns?

What proportion of your time are you giving to your spiritual needs?

How might you bring these into a more equal relationship?

 

Spiritual Practices – Taking Inventory

This week’s spiritual practice will be very practical.   Please attend this week’s virtual church service for a more prayerful practice.

  1. Make a list of all the things you do in the day that are targeted toward meeting your material needs and how much time is dedicated to each of these things.
  2. Make another list of all the things you do in the day that are targeted toward your spiritual needs and how much time is dedicated to these activities.
  3. Compare the two. Where is there balance? Where is there a lack of balance?
  4. Write your thoughts and reflections on this.

 

Authentic Freedom

In Authentic Freedom, Temperance is the spiritual virtue that is attained when we find a way to balance our spiritual with our material needs. When we are firmly rooted in our spiritual nature, we are able to give to our spiritual needs and are able to do so without entering into a state of imbalance. We are able to enjoy the fruits of our labors while not distracted by temptations to waste or hoard while being able to share from our excess. Regarding “Caesar,” we feel no resentment about contributing financially to the programs that are there to support the common good.

 

How are you finding peace in a state of temperance – maintaining a balance between tending to your material as well as your spiritual needs and finding contentment in that?