Just in time for Valentine’s Day…..a continued exploration of the Beloved Partnership – moving beyond co-dependency, soulmate and twin flame to a co-creative, interdependent kind of love.
I’m not making this up!
In exploring the topic of Beloved Partnership, it is helpful to know that we are not the first to entertain this ideal of love. I personally believe this is the kind of loving relationship God envisioned in the first place and what was “supposed” to have happened between the metaphorical Adam and Eve. I believe that this is the kind of love ideal envisioned by the Christian Church is designating matrimony as a sacrament. Eastern spiritual traditions depict this kind of love in their Divine partnerings: Shiva and Shakti, Sita and Ram, Krishna and Radha, Babaji and Mataji. I believe this is the love experienced between Jesus and Mary Magdalene and which was unfortunately written out of the Christian story in favor of a patriarchal, hierarchical institution.
In modern literature, we have the writings of Abraham Maslow and Barbara Marx Hubbard to support us in honoring the inner call to the Beloved Partnership. The love of a Beloved Partnership is what Abraham Maslow referred to as “Self-actualized love.” Love between self-actualized individuals, as Abraham Maslow discovered (Motivation and Personality, 1970, pp. 181- 202), is the healthiest and most fulfilling kind of love. If we are willing to persist until we meet our Beloved Partner, this is what we might expect:
- A partnership where there is a mutual giving and receiving of love, both parties are equally able and willing to engage in both giving and receiving.
- A healthy sexuality rooted in and reflective of love – more creative, ecstatic, orgasmic and fulfilling, yet also less about attachment. It is not a needy kind of intimacy, but instead is mutually fulfilling.
- Pooling of needs – your needs, wants, desires, become mine and visa versa – such that there becomes one hierarchy of needs with two people seeking after their fulfillment.
- Fun, merriment, joy, spontaneity, elation, feelings of well-being.
- Mutual honor and respect of the other’s individual gifts, talents, drive, passions, interests, temperament, etc.
- Mutual, authentic admiration, wonder and awe.
- Detachment and Individuality – able to be in relationship without compromising one’s own individuality.
The Co-Creative Couple
Barbara Marx Hubbard sees the Beloved Partnership as what we are growing into as we evolve toward the next stage of human development as a co-creative society. In keeping with this vision, she calls the Beloved Partners The Co-Creative Couple (Conscious Evolution, 2015, pp. 238 – 239). She envisions the co-creative couple as follows:
Now we become the cocreative couple, which begins when both partners achieve within themselves at least the beginning of a balance between the masculine and feminine, the animus and the anima. It begins when the woman’s initiative and vocational need is received in love by the feminine receptivity of her partner. When she is loved for her more masculine side, she falls in love with the man’s feminine aspect, for what she needs is the nurturance of her own strength and creativity. She loves him for his receptivity. He no longer has to prove himself by control and domination. He can bring forth his own creativity without aggression. And she can express her strength without fear of losing him. Whole being joins with whole being, recreating the family at the next stage of evolution. Same-sex couples experience a similar process of integration and joining to emancipate each other (p. 238).
I am humbled and honored to be one among many who have been given a vision and a call to uphold the Beloved Partnership as the ideal of love we are evolving toward and one among many who is called to be a pioneer in anchoring this new (original) kind of love for humanity.