Posted in Empowerment, Inspiration, Lessons, Magic, Mystics

The Thirteenth Fairy

You most likely know me as the evil fairy from Disney’s Sleeping Beauty, or more recently as Maleficent in Disney’s life-action revisioning of the Sleeping Beauty tale.  While the latter was closer to the truth in its telling, neither got it right.  No wonder, as the origin of both tales is the story of Briar Rose as told by the brothers Grimm – and the good brothers, in their telling, were about as far off from the truth as any tale could be.  For I am the Thirteenth Fairy and only I and my sisters know the real truth of who I am and what I am here to do.



I am the Thirteenth Fairy – thirteenth of the thirteen, born on the thirteenth day of the thirteenth month – for in our age, time is marked by the movement of the moon. Unlike the twelve months marked in cultures where god is only HE and where the sun honored as his symbol, we mark thirteen where the feminine in all of HER manifestations are honored as sacred.  Our thirteenth month, you now call mid-Capricorn, a time of great darkness – when all of humanity retreats from the active world, where the time of harvesting is done, all has been stored up for the winter the mid-winter celebrations complete.  The thirteenth month is a time of rest, a time of restoration, a time of deep inner reflection and self-contemplation, for in the depths of winter, there is nothing much else to do.  The thirteenth month in which I was born, and over which I reign, is a time for sleeping, dreaming, and inner growing.

Whether spring, summer, fall or winter, we all have our “thirteenth months” – times for retreat, introspection, resting, restoring, enjoying the fruits of our labor and deep, inner growth and transformation.  The thirteenth month is the time of the pine which stands proud against the glistening snow, the oak which retains its leaves until spring, the winter wheat which sleeps in the ground waiting for the returning warmth of the sun before showing its green.  It is the time of the stag and the hunt, the boar with its ivory tusks digging for mushrooms, the time of the wolf howling under an ancient moon while and honoring the medicine of mistletoe and holly.  The thirteenth month is related to night – for during the thirteenth month, even the sun sleeps.  As such, the thirteenth month is guarded by all creatures of the night – snowy white owls, ravens, bats, Luna moths and the black panther.  As the Thirteenth Fairy, in the company of my brothers, Pluto, Pan, Hades, Gwynn and Cernunnos, I am the guardian of the thirteenth month and all related to this timing.

It is easy to see then, where the brothers Grimm got the idea of the spindle and the curse of eternal sleep.  They got the sleeping part right, but they got it backwards.  While I have dominion over the time of sleep, my full power is in the waking.  For after we sleep we must awake – lest we die.  My task is to wake you up.  As in all the fairytales which bear the mark of my presence – the evil queen, the wicked witch, the jealous stepmother, the fearful mother, I have my tools – whether they be poisoned apples, flying monkeys, fields of poppies, red shoes that dance you to death, deadly combs, suffocating corsets or magic mirrors, they all serve a single person – to wake you up and set you on your quest.  But the quest I set you on is not one for the handsome prince, golden coins or riches.  Instead, the quest I set you on is the QUEST FOR YOUR SOUL – for here is where you shall find your true happily ever after!

Unlike the Fairy Godmother and other expressions of her presence, I do not leave you to your own devices – only to watch you fail.  No, I am there with you, every step of the way – whispering encouragement, offering tools of support and guidance, picking you up when you fall, drying your tears and holding you in my embrace when you feel you can’t go on.  I do this for you, because I have been there and done this for myself – successfully.  And I could not have done this without the Thirteenth Fairies who have gone before me.  For unlike the twelve fairies of light who only have eyes for the “good,” as the Thirteenth Fairy – I (we) see life for what it is – light when the way is easy and dark when the journey gets tough.  Unlike our pixie dust sisters who might shy away from the dark, we know the darkness is not something to be judged or feared, but honored as sacred, for we know that it is in the darkness where we will find our treasure!

It is in the darkness where we have an opportunity to face our fears, to stare down our demons, to battle the enemies that reside within – self-doubt, envy, hatred, sloth, pride, gluttony, selfishness and greed.  For every enemy we look in the eye and release the power it holds over us, we are one step closer to the boon.  Here is where the treasure lies – deep within all that we fear, beneath the muck and the mire of our unhealed wounds, past the tangled thorns of hurts and former betrayals, beyond our dreams of vengeance.  Here is our treasure and only the Thirteenth Fairy has the courage, the strength, and expertise, honed on experience, to accompany you to these depths.  I am the Thirteenth Fairy.

So, you may call me what you will, evil queen, horrible stepmother, wicked witch, malevolent fairy, the devil’s mistress, but I know the truth.  I am the Thirteenth Fairy and when my presence is made known in your life, a terrific journey is about to begin.  You then have a choice, to come with me and discover the most remarkable treasure – the treasure of your Soul, or turn away – where you are sure to die from the refusing.

Copyright 2015  Lauri Ann Lumby

Lauricurtsie.jpgLauri Ann Lumby is the Thirteenth Fairy – born on the thirteenth day of the thirteenth month with thirteen letters in her given name.  As a trained spiritual director, shamanistic practitioner, creativity partner, and life guide, Lauri helps to awaken you to the call of your soul and supports you on the way – as every good Thirteenth Fairy will do!

Posted in Midlife Journey

Midlife and Menopause – Confronting our Shadow

The purpose of a midlife crisis, perimenopause and menopause (from a spiritual perspective) is to move us beyond childbearing to birthing ourselves…and this is as true for men as it is for women.  During midlife and menopause, we are invited to leave behind the life we have known to make room for the new life that is trying to be born through us.  In birthing our new selves, we are birthing our Soul – the unique way we are creatively gifted to find meaning, purpose, connection and fulfillment in our lives and the way in which we find fulfillment by contributing to the betterment of our worldOne of the tasks we must complete in the journey of midlife and menopause is to confront our shadow – all of the parts of ourselves we have rejected or kept hidden and bring them to the light.  Today’s blog is about confronting the shadow.


Disney’s Maleficent, coming in 2014.  (I can’t wait!!!!!)

Midlife and Menopause – Bats in the House

Last night, in the middle of a terrific phone conversation with one of my friends, I heard my children screaming.  Then I heard pounding footsteps on the stairs and my son burst into my room, interrupting my conversation with, “Mom….holy sh..t…..there is a bat in the house!!!!”  I offered my friend a quick goodbye and went to investigate.  I calmed down the screaming kids and then we went in search of the bat.  We found him…..HUGE, furry and black….flying back and forth across my sons bedroom.  Now we were all screaming.  🙂  I tried to be brave and found some butterfly nets and an album cover hoping to catch and release the bat, but its erratic flight and the fear of being bit overpowered my courage.  So….I cashed in one of my princess cards, called my neighbor and he calmly and valiantly caught and released the bat.  (Thank you Jason!)   This morning, as I meditated on the spiritual meaning of bats, I was reminded about the midlife journey through the shadow.

Midlife and Menopause – Confronting the Shadow

“The Shadow” has been defined in a variety of ways, depending on what school of psychology or philosophy one subscribes to.  I think of the shadow as all the parts of ourselves that we have not brought to the light.  Using this definition, shadow consists of all of the parts of ourselves we keep hidden away, the parts of ourselves we reject and the parts of ourselves we repress and are perhaps not even conscious of.  Shadow can also be made up of the counterparts to our gifts – underdeveloped skills that if cultivated might help to bring better balance into our lives.  Let me give you some examples.

1) As an Intuitive/Feeler (on the Myers-Briggs personality profile), the sensate/thinker could be considered as an aspect of my shadow – inviting me to balance intuition with facts, figures and evidence, feelings with logic and reason.

2) Anger and Rage make up part of my shadow – emotions I feared and rejected as a child and therefore rejected within myself….it wasn’t ok to be angry.  In midlife, I have had to make friends with anger and find an appropriate way to process it in my life.

3) Perfectionism – as a recovering perfectionist, imperfection is my shadow.  I reject the parts of myself that are imperfect – depression, anxiety, panic attacks, the part of me that harbors resentment, the part of me that wants vengeance, the part of me that is tempted to be bad.  In midlife, I have had to confront these perceived imperfections and again…make friends with them.

4) Other unsavory qualities…..during times of overwhelming stress, certain behaviors and hidden characteristics showed up in me and I was SHOCKED to see how I responded.  These were things I judged others as doing…but would “never do this” myself.  Well…..guess what?  I did.  More imperfections to make peace with.

5) The shadow can also be a bit fun… my secret obsession with tattoos, Kat Von D and Disney villains.  All of these show up as glimpses of parts of my soul that want to be more fully integrated in my everyday life.  I want to be a rockstar, wear leather and have my whole body tattooed…..but I don’t because it is only part of me….not all of who I am.  🙂

Midlife and Menopause – the Gift in the Shadow

The gift in uncovering and more fully integrating our shadow is that we become more whole, more fully integrated, we experience greater contentment with ourselves and we might be happier and have more fun.  By integrating our shadow, we also have more energy to do what we love because we have stopped using up all our psychic energy keeping our shadow at bay. Bringing the shadow into the light and allowing it room to roam frees us to explore and enjoy our creative gifts and be of better service to the world.

What does your shadow consist of?

Lauri Ann Lumby provides guidance and support for those traversing the midlife journey through one-on-one mentoring, workshops and classes.  For more information, contact Lauri at (920) 230-1313 or