Posted in shadow work

When Our Shadows Come Out to Play

(“Duck those Ducking Duckers!”)

The deepest, most exquisite part of my gift to the world is my ability to work in and with the shadows – the pain, sorrows, traumas, fears and other areas of woundedness we try to hide from the world and from ourselves.  In order to do this work with and for others, I first have to do it for myself.  As life continues to remind me, our shadow work is never done.  Even when we think we have sufficiently grieved a loss, healed a trauma, released a pain, there are remnants of it that will remain, waiting to surface again (most often when we least expect it) for another layer of healing.

Yesterday, I found myself in that place. An innocent article appeared on Facebook, an article I had seen a million other times, about Reiki being offered in hospitals.  I don’t know why yesterday was different from any other day, but I read the headline of that article and I LOST IT!  Are you kidding me?  Reiki in hospitals?  Knowing that at least half of the hospitals in the United States are run by the Catholic Church, I found myself enraged.  Not because Reiki might now be available in Catholic hospitals (hurray) but because of the local self-appointed inquisition, the local Church and the local bishop and his cronies who made my life a living hell all because of Reiki.  In my rage (grief) I posted on FB, “If Reiki is being offered in Catholic hospitals too, there are several bishops and members of the local self-appointed inquisition who owe me an apology and maybe some financial consideration for the hell they put me through!”  And I meant it!  Those duckers made my life a living hell and the PTSD I now bear is partly because of the soul wrenching pain I experienced due to their ministrations and constant harassment. The result of my “run in” with the Church was my leaving and wondering if karma was ever going to have its way with those ducking duckers. The truth I came to yesterday is “not likely.”  “They” will go on living in their self-righteous, fundamentalist interpretation of Catholic teaching, making themselves and the people around them miserable with their constant scrutiny, while I am walking around free.

……and……there it is.  I’m free. I am free of the outside perceived authority of the Church and the laws that men created to strike fear in the hearts of human beings so they could be manipulated and controlled.  Fear of hellfire and damnation no longer plague my life.  I no longer fear a jealous or angry “god.”  I am no longer looking over my shoulder wondering if I am adequately upholding Catholic teaching so that my entrance into heaven might be assured.  I am no longer running from the “snares of the devil” as “Satan” and I have become friends.  (for more on why Satan isn’t who “he” was made out to be read HERE).  And finally, I no longer fear death.  When my time comes, I will greet Death as a welcome friend.  I no longer fear death because when we free ourselves from the illusion of hell and the threat of eternal punishment, in death there is nothing to fear.  This has been my “reward” for staying true to the Divine calling of my Soul, while those who continue to threaten and harass are imprisoned by their fear.

I share this story as an example of WHY I do what I do and WHY it is imperative that we meet our shadows face to face.  Our shadows surface, not to haunt us or cause us pain, but to lead us to freedom.  Every time our shadows come out to play, when we meet them (instead of running from them) and when we allow ourselves every single emotion and thought that accompanies them (ie:  “duck those ducking duckers”) we find our way to freedom and release.  It is only in being present to our pain that we can find its release.  It is only in being present to our wounds and facing the tragedies of our past that we can be freed to walk the path of our truth.

If you are looking for assistance in navigating the path of your shadows, I am available for one-on-one mentoring and there are several course offerings which support the journey through the shadows.


Posted in Midlife Journey, Truth

Truth and Consequences

Today I’m taking a little break from the menopause, midlife and perimenopause discussion to talk about truth.  Today’s blog is inspired by a dear friend who has recently suffered the consequences of living their truth – judgment, condemnation, criticism, untrue accusations, etc.  Today’s blog is a reminder for those of us who dare to stand in our truth that there will always be those who misunderstand, unfairly judge and even hate us for doing what they are unable or unwilling to do for themselves. 

Living our Truth
Living our Truth

Our Truest Nature

Planted deep within each and every one of us are the seeds of our truest nature – the uniquely creative way in which we have been gifted to find meaning, fulfillment, purpose and connection in our lives.  When we take the time to uncover this gift, nurture and cultivate it and share this gift, the world becomes a better place and we are fulfilled in the good we are bringing to our world.  The unique gift we have been given is for ourselves, but more importantly, it is there to serve the world.  It is because of and for this gift that we are here and without the identification of and sharing of this gift, the world suffers…and so do we.  Until we uncover and share this gift, we live a life of quiet desperation – forever restless, impatient, unsettled and discontented and our discontent often comes out sideways in non-loving attitudes, behaviors, thoughts and actions.  Anxiety, depression, judgment, discrimination, arrogance, ignorance, etc. all come out of an inner sense of fear and guilt for not tending to the real person God/dess made us to be.

The Path of our Truth

The path to our truth is never an easy one!  It requires the release and healing of negative childhood experiences and messages, overcoming societal “shoulds” and “rules” and confronting the fears of judgment, rejection and condemnation.  In addition to overcoming all of these externals, we have to overcome the inner voice that tells us our gifts are worthless or unnecessary and we have to answer the question, “Who am I to do….”  Then, once we make it through the bramble choked forest of our inner fears and resistance and cultivate the courage to deal with the threat of external rejection, we are forced to acknowledge that no matter how much strength we cultivate or courage we muster, there will always be those who will judge, criticize, condemn, even hate us for daring to stand in our truth.

The Consequences and Responsibility of Living our Truth

Those who are approaching and living their truth serve as a mirror for the rest of the world – by living in our truth, we reflect back for others their own hidden truth.  For some, the triggering of their truth is welcome and they begin to awaken to their own unrealized truth.  For those who are unwilling or unable to acknowledge the hidden seeds of their truth…we are the enemy.   Because their truth is buried so deeply in their subconscious…or because they have worked so hard to ignore or deny it, all they feel in our presence is resistance, fear, even repulsion.  Because they are unable or unwilling to be present to the voice of their own truth and are uncomfortable in the anxiety that is triggered by their buried truth, they project this anxiety on to us….and we become the target of all the repressed anger, fear and guilt they unconsciously feel for ignoring their truth.  This is where the judgment, condemnation, criticism, rejection come in…..not because we did something wrong, but because we did something VERY RIGHT by living our truth.  The invitation as we continue to live in our truth is to understand the consequences of living that truth … the inner freedom and contentment we experience for living our truth, the opportunity to help others awaken to their truth and the very real negative reactions from those who are unable to live their truth.  And when we are done tending to our own hurt at being criticized, condemned and rejected, perhaps we can grow in compassion for those who continue to be imprisoned for not living their truth.

When have you been criticized, condemned, judged, rejected for living your truth?

Where have you experienced others awakening to their truth because of your ability to live your truth?

How does it help to understand that by living your truth, you are a mirror for those whose truth is still unlived?