Posted in New World, Surrender

When Sh*t Gets Real

Hi.  I’m Lauri Ann Lumby, and I am “Everyperson.”  For 15 years I’ve been living in the trenches with the “working poor.”  This is what my reality looks like:

 

I am self-employed as a Spiritual Counselor, providing mental health support through spiritual counseling (I have an MA in Transpersonal Psychology and completed a 3 year training program as a Spiritual Director), and human development training through online education.  I am also a published author.

Sounds fancy, right?  Sure, but the above has not produced enough income to pay the bills. So, in the fall of 2017, I started a side-gig.  The side-gig has provided just enough supplemental income to pay my monthly rent.

 

Enter Covid-19.

 

No, wait, things started breaking apart long before Covid 19.  Awhile back, I received a DIRECT command:

Let it go.  Let it all go.

 

Because I’ve been down this path many-a-time.  I knew exactly why all the letting go.  When we let things go, we are creating room for something new (and better) to enter.  For the past several months, I’ve been watching my income stream slow almost to a halt……then ENTER COVID-19.  My side gig closed two weeks ago and while I’ve had enough to keep me busy up until the end of this week.  There’s not much coming after that. The “new office” I recently opened sits empty because no one is interested in receiving hands-on healing at this time.

 

Time to start freaking out?

 

For a moment maybe.  But I know better than to stay there and I have the tools for finding peace in the midst of the complete unknown.

 

I have no idea how I will pay my bills. (I KNOW I’m not alone in this!)

 

But, what I do know is that I WAS BORN FOR THIS.  I was born for this time and I have known it was coming.  I’ve been training and preparing for this my whole life.  I absolutely 100% know that there is something NEW and HUGE coming out of this for our world AND FOR ME!

 

For me, this is where the rubber meets the road and where shit gets real.  Instead of chasing after shiny objects, or hustling to find a way to fill the gap,

 

I GET QUIET.

 

I turn inward.  I go into the silence.  I enter the VOID.

I use the practices I have been teaching others to use for the past 15+ years.

I resist the temptation to “thinking it through,” or throwing noodles against the wall hoping something will stick.  Instead, I look for what emerges out of the silence.  Not the rambling of my “let’s do something” mind, but the pure silence of THE VOID out of which everything true and real comes into form.

 

I have known that the dwindling cash flow was the herald of something new trying to be born in and through me, and now I take a deep breath as another HUGE chuck falls away.  This is it.  This is Lauri Ann Lumby’s day of reckoning.  Do I run away in panic or find meaningless activities to fill the void so I can avoid the TERROR of facing into the VOID?  No, I dive deeply into the VOID and see what She has to show me.

 

As Mother Mary said to the Angel Gabriel,

“Let it be done according to your word.”

 

Or as Jesus said as he was hanging from the cross,

“Into your hands I commend my Spirit.”

 

 

Posted in Inspiration, Lessons, Surrender

What Do You Do When Your Universe is Collapsing?

The universe as I have known it is collapsing. Everything around me that has defined my life; that has been the container for my life; that has been the vehicle for my life and provided structure, routine, and even a livelihood is falling away. This is a process that began in 2015 and continues. I have come to call 2015 the year of “letting go.”  2016 was the year of emptying.  And 2017…..I am calling the year of WTF?!  I’m at the place in this journey of my universe collapsing of knowing only one thing:

I am moving (hopefully) on September 1 into a new home.

After that….I know nothing.

In the emptying, I have been instructed to let it all go and not worry about the rest. I have also been told that if THIS MUCH emptying is required, that there must be something HUGE waiting to take its place.  I just don’t get to know what that “something huge” might be.  I’ve been given a few glimpses, but I’ve also been instructed not to get attached to any of what “might” be part of my new universe.  My Soul has been singing “Let it Go!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0MK7qz13bU

while my heart is trying to ease my anxious mind. (JUST as I completed this sentence, two hummingbirds flew past my window!  Hummingbird magic delivers the impossible in magical and miraculous ways!!!!!)  In this moment my life is a completely empty slate.  No clients.  No classes.  No business activity to pursue to fill my empty time. No books to write or edit.  More importantly, no inspiration or motivation to write.  Nothing.  Nadda.  Zilch.  Only an opportunity to continue emptying in preparation for a move and for what I do not know.

Image Credit: pixabay.com

So what does one do when their universe is collapsing and the new universe has not yet come into being?

NOTHING.

Nothing.

Nothing.

We sit in the void of emptiness. We allow ourselves to FEEL the discomfort of the emptiness.  We enter into the anxiety of not knowing.  We surrender to not knowing.  We refrain from looking at or striving after material things (ie $$$$$).  We allow ourselves to simply be – knowing that the wheel of life is turning and that the Universe (aka God) has something amazing in store that we could not possibly image for ourselves.  We wait.  And we find comfort in the fact that on the other side of every death is the promise of new life.