Posted in Authentic Freedom, Authentic Freedom Book, Being Human, Healing, Spiritual Practices

Shining the Light on Our Shadow

In yesterday’s blog, I wrote about the “nothing good” I had to say. Well, that isn’t entirely true.  While it is easy to see all the “bad” in the world, as the psalmist said:

If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,  and the light around me become night,”  even the darkness is not dark to you;  the night is as bright as the day,  for darkness and light are but one.

– Psalm 139: 11-12

From the highest perspective, from the Divine perspective, from the perspective of love and hope and belief in the promise that within every death is the promise for new life, all of the “bad” we are currently seeing in our world is ultimately in service to the good. In other words, the world of fear, power and control that no longer serves us and is hastening toward its own demise is dying so that a new world can be born.

Yes it looks ugly. Yes it is violent.  Yes it is self-centered, hateful, ignorant, sexist, prejudice, discriminatory, greedy, gluttonous, hungry for power and control, jealous of other people’s happiness.  It is the playground bully puffing itself up, pushing people around, trying to get its way because in the end, he is insecure, feeling unloved and afraid.  What is manifesting in our world is the worst expression of all that we have suppressed within ourselves and all that we have ignored as we have taken from others so that we might have power.

What we see out there that we detest is ultimately what we don’t want to see within ourselves. The microcosm is the macrocosm.  And we are all guilty.


This is a good thing. We cannot grow or heal or transform until we take a good hard look at our shadow.  We cannot become the fullness of our potential as individuals and as a nation until we SEE the shadow and do something about it.  And with the current state of things….we can’t NOT see our shadow.  The shadow is present in all of our unhealed fears, forgotten dreams, repressed memories, suppressed gifts, denied hurts, losses and betrayals.  She shadow is in every situation in our life where we experienced something as less than love and failed to grief and heal from that wounding.

Our purpose on this plane is to know that we are LOVE and to BE that love in the world. Anything less than that results in a spiritual/psychic wounding and this wounding must be healed for us to find wholeness.  In order to change/heal what we see “out there” we first have to turn within.

  • When we are angered by prejudice, we must examine the places within us where we have experienced prejudice against another. And then work on forgiving and healing ourselves of this wound.
  • When we are furious with the violence in our world, we must examine our own propensity toward thinking, feeling, wishing violence on another or against ourselves. Then forgive and heal that violence.
  • When we are bereft over the poverty, hunger, homelessness in our world, we must heal the places within us where we feel poor, hungry, alone.
  • When we fear for the state of our environment because of the shortsighted actions of greedy men, we must examine our own temptation toward gluttony and greed. When are we taking more than we need, failing to share what we have, or wasting the gifts we’ve been given….then forgive and heal that wounding.

Do you see where I’m going with this? If we want to change the world, FIRST we have to change ourselves.  The changing starts with shining a light on our own shadow and then doing something about it.

My favorite ritual for healing the shadow within me is the Ho’oponopono prayer. It goes like this:

Everytime I am triggered by something “out there” I examine the wound that is being triggered (fear, hatred, anger, loss, rejection, envy) and apply the Ho’oponopono prayer to myself:

I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

I love you.

Thank you.


Remember, we are not saying this prayer to the persons, places, things, “out there,” we are saying it to ourselves. As we shine the light on our own shadow and do the work of healing it, we are transformed and so is the world around us.

Changing the world begins by changing ourselves.

For support in facilitating the transformation of your own shadow, read my book Authentic Freedom – Claiming a Life of Contentment and Joy, take the online course, or subscribe to Authentic Freedom Weekly where you will enjoy weekly lessons on Authentic Freedom.


Posted in Authentic Freedom, Forgiveness, Spiritual Practices

Taking Back Our Power through Forgiveness


When you hear a message three times…’d better pay attention! For me, it was the reminder of the critical nature of forgiveness in freeing OURSELVES from past hurts and pain as we free others of the strands we hold of theirs.

This is not forgiveness in the traditional a sense as an intellectual exercise of “forgive and forget.” This is TRUE forgiveness which is a spiritual experience that comes about

Through our own effort and

Through a moment of PURE GRACE.

What these three wise teachers reminded me of is that for every negative feeling, thought, emotion we hold against another for ways in which we believe they have harmed us, we are giving away a piece of our power. At the same time, we imprison a piece of their power, for as long as we harbor anger, fear, resentment, etc. against them, they are not free to get on with their lives.  And neither are we.  It’s a tricky cycle of harboring and imprisoning that creates a undertow of energy drawing both parties into the depths, unable to move with what would normally be the effortless flow of the river.

Clearly, as reminded by my three teachers, it is time to TAKE BACK MY POWER through the spiritual practice of forgiveness.

In exercising a spiritual practice of forgiveness, there are two primary practices I turn to:


The Ho’oponopono prayer – the Hawaiian ritual of forgiveness. It is a ritual prayer we say to ourselves around an issue we want to release.  We might also say it toward the other person if that feel appropriate: The prayer goes something like this:

I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

I love you.

Thank you.


The Aramaic Lord’s Prayer, specifically, praying and chanting the following line:


Washboqlan khaubayn(wakhtahayn) aykanna daph khnan shbwoqan



Roughly translated, this phrase means:

Loose the cords of mistakes binding us, as we release the strands we hold of others’ guilt.


Forgiveness here is about letting go of our judgment of another’s actions.

As we release our judgment and let go of the negativity we are harboring, our power returns to us and we are more free to be the people God made us to be!

If you are interested in learning more spiritual practices for supporting your own power, come to Monday’s Superhero Gathering.  Click Here to learn more, or check out our free course:  Starting a Spiritual Practice.  Click on the image below to learn more! 






Posted in codependency, Forgiveness, Healing, shame, Spiritual Practices, Superheroes

The Fear of Rejection – Superhero Report

Superhero Report for the Week of October 26, 2014 

At this week’s Superhero Academy gatherings (Monday 6:30 – 8:30 and Tuesday 9-11 am), we discussed rejection – specifically, the fear of. In everyday life, and especially in claiming and engaging our Superhero gifts, we experience rejection.  In claiming our Superpowers, cultivating, and sharing them, we serve as a reflection to the rest of humanity of their unrealized potential.  This reflection serves to poke at their unrealized parts, which then initiates one of two reactions – the desire to stay and learn or the compulsion to run like hell. Second perhaps only to death, we fear our greatness.  Only the courageous and persistent and those willing to let go of the life they have known are able to realize their Superhero potential.  And when we do, it often ticks people off.  It is this fear of rejection that most often stands in the way of our ability to claim, cultivate and share our Superpowers. As a result, dealing with the fear of rejection is one of the final frontiers in the journey toward being a Superhero.


The fear of rejection ultimately arises out of the parts of ourselves that have forgotten we are love. In Authentic Freedom, I offer a formal process through which one is able to heal these areas of forgetfulness, returning us to our original wholeness.  I recently discovered there is a shortcut.  This shortcut is Ho-oponopono – the Hawaiian ritual of forgiveness.  At this week’s Superhero Academy, we learned and put this ritual in practice, specifically as a way of tending toward those places within us where we are resistant to our Superpowers.  Specifically related to the claiming and sharing of our Divine call and the use of our Superpowers (spiritual gifts), here is how it works:

  • Close your eyes and sit or rest in silence.
  • Bring to mind a gift, an invitation, a call that has revealed itself to you – perhaps it’s an idea or a dream you have always wanted to pursue but haven’t yet.
  • As you think about this gift, etc. become aware of any areas of constriction that arise in your body – feelings of tightness, tension.
  • Be aware of any emotions, thoughts, images that arise, or the voice of doubt, condemnation, judgment telling you all the reasons you should not or cannot pursue this dream.
  • Recognize that voice of resistance, doubt, etc. as a part of yourself that has forgotten it is love.
  • Silently or aloud, say/pray to that part of yourself the Ho’oponopono prayer formula:

I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

I love you.

Thank you.

  • Continue this prayer until you feel the resistance in you change, relax or release.


In short, the Ho’oponopono prayer recognizes that we are doing harm to ourselves when we deny our Soul its call, its purpose. As such, saying I’m sorry, etc. is our highest self offering unconditional love and healing to the part of us that is afraid and feeling unloved.

In the coming week, try this formula in every situation where you feel resistant to your dreams and see what happens!



Posted in Being Human, Death, Forgiveness, grief

Permission NOT to be Enlightened when Grieving

Perfectionist and the quest for enlightenment

As a recovering perfectionist, the quest for “enlightenment” (ahem….perfection) has been high on my list of desired accomplishments. I’m nowhere near attaining that goal, but it is still on my wish list. Enlightened people are perfect you see….calm, cool, responsible, unflappable. Enlightened people have a high set of standards and they live by them.  Enlightened people are kind, thoughtful, forgiving, loving, generous, humble and patient.  All this is true of enlightened people…….except when they are grieving.  Here is how I learned this important truth.

Divine Irony

God is funny…..or, as my daughter says, “He just thinks he is.”  Just days before my aunt was rushed to the hospital and eventually gave in to the complications of COPD, I had embraced a forgiveness practice.  With a combination of the Ho’oponopono prayer and my own method of “praying for and loving my enemies,”  I was intentionally searching my consciousness for people toward whom I was still harboring resentment for past hurts, and surrounding other people who annoyed me or tempted my ire with love.  I was doing a pretty good job maintaining my practice and I was feeling really good about the love it seemed I was cultivating.  Then my aunt died and all hell broke loose.  Pretty soon I was ranting and raving over past hurts and casting dispersions toward anyone who ticked me off.  I found myself frequently rattling off the curse I have in the past saved for only the worst of the worst….”f….those f’ing…..f’ers.” (Yes….those on the quest for enlightenment use the F-word.) 🙂


Permission to be human

As I’ve been witnessing my own regression, there were a few moments in which I was tempted to judge my behavior as bad, corrupt, imperfect and punish myself through self-condemnation and self- loathing.  Instead, I decided that when we are grieving, we all get a “Get out of jail free” card.  When grieving, we are allowed to be as human as we need to be to process the grief.  If in the midst of grieving the loss of my aunt I need to hate a few people, then so be it.  If I need to go on a rant about everything or nothing in particular, that is ok.  If I need to crawl into a ball on the floor and suck my thumb or pull out a full-on 2-year old temper tantrum, then more power to me.  And…..more power to you when you need to do the same.  When we are grieving, we don’t need to be enlightened, or perfect, or patient, or pleasant, or accommodating, or anything we don’t want to be.  When we are grieving, we have permission to be human… be vulnerable, afraid, anxious, worried, sorrowful, hurting, damaged, wounded, depressed, angry, hateful, etc. etc. etc.  And….thank God/dess, because when we are busy trying to be perfect, it is awful hard for us to receive the help, and love, and support of those who are here to comfort us in our grief.  If it were not for our humanness, we would not be able to receive the loving care of another human being which is one of the primary needs in our process of healing. And those who want to help us heal would not be able to share their gift of loving compassion.  When grieving, perfection and enlightenment can wait, we have grieving to do so that we can find healing and the new life on the other side of the loss.  When we have found a little healing, then we can return to the quest for perfection…or enlightenment…or ascension…..or whatever you want to call it…..or we can just go on being human.