Posted in Divine Masculine, Healing

Healing the Wounded Masculine

Healing the Wounded Masculine

For three nights in a row I have had dreams about the wounded masculine – specifically the wounded masculine within me. As the ancients have said, when things come in threes, it is a clear message from Spirit. In this case, it is an invitation to recognize and then heal the wounded masculine within me and in doing so, providing an invitation, support, guidance and direction for others in doing the same.

wounded masculine, distorted masculine, holy masculine, healing the wounded masculine, patriarchy, divine masculine

The Dreams

As is most always the case, dreams speak to us in the language of symbols. The dreams that came through for me are no different.  All of the dreams featured myself and a “lover.”  In each of the dreams, “the lover” was wounded, injured or broken in some way.  The first was a transgender male who had just had “bottom” surgery and was still in extreme pain in his newly attached “masculine” power center.  In the second dream, “the lover” was excruciatingly attractive, but was imprisoned by addiction.  The lover in the third dream was physically paralyzed from the waist down.  In every dream, I was the woman (feminine) trying to love the wounded male into wholeness – or at the very least to let him know that even in his brokenness, he was loved. As every dream interpreter would suggest, “the lovers” in the dream also represent aspects of myself – specifically the distorted masculine qualities I have taken on trying to make it in a world ruled by a distorted aspect of the masculine and driven by fear, power and control.  The wounded masculine in the dream represents how taking on these distorted masculine qualities have done damage to my soul.

How the Distorted (Unholy) Masculine has done me (us) harm

When we live in a culture ruled by fear, power and control, we are shown that the only way to succeed, to get your needs met, is through striving, driving, forcing, and cajoling. Achievement becomes our goal and is defined by external means.  In Western culture, achievement is measured by money, material possessions and fame.  If we become rich and famous, or better yet, get our own reality show, we have made it.  We have achieved the goal of Western society.  What we are not told, however, is that the striving, driving, forcing and cajoling that it takes to “make it” in a culture driven by fear, power and control, is killing us.  Perhaps not those who have “made it,” but the rest of us who are “forced” to live according to these means of “achievement” are dying.  And if those who have “made” it aren’t dying on the outside, they are dying on the inside for selling their Soul to the highest bidder.  The proof of this dying (the wounded masculine) is present all around us – from the destruction of our environment to increasing poverty to the rampant increase in stress related disease to increasing violence related to gun deaths, suicide and war.  The wounded masculine within all of us is screaming to be seen so we can begin to do the work of healing.

The Wounded Masculine in Me

As a woman working in a world ruled by the distorted masculine (or what some are now calling toxic masculinity), I have been told that the key to success is hard work and that the harder I work the more successful I will become. I have been told that my success is measured by how much money I make and how famous I become.  I have been told that if I am struggling financially, or if my books aren’t best sellers, it is because I have not worked hard enough and that if I want more money or renown, I simply need to work more.  I’ve also been told by the distorted masculine in the “new thought” communities that my success is dependent on my thoughts.  That if I think good thoughts (and the right thoughts) then I will have everything I want in the way of money and success.  And if I have not yet achieved my financial goals, or I am struggling financially it is because I’m thinking the wrong thoughts or not working hard enough at thinking right thoughts.  There are those who say “God wants you to be rich and famous” and if I’m not yet rich and famous it is because I haven’t done enough for God (or put enough money in the collection basket).  I’ve been given formulas, strategic plans, marketing plans from so-called business experts who say the answer is to blog more, network more, send out more fliers, hold more classes, offer more free stuff, do more promotions, write more classes, write more classes on “this topic,” do more podcasts, offer more videos, do seminars, get my own TedTalk, offer more workshops and retreats, travel more, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.  Everyone has an answer to how to “build my success” but here’s the thing:

I’ve done everything the world (based in fear, power and control which measures success in money, material possessions and fame) has told me to do and it is killing me! Not only is it killing me, it has produced nothing.  I’m not rich (on many days I’m just trying to keep a roof over my head) and I’m certainly not famous.

Yes, I’ve published some books, I have a few internet “followers” and a small community of students and clients, but none of this came as a result of driving, striving, forcing or cajoling. None of this came by following someone’s “formula for success.”  Instead, it came from following the promptings of my Soul which have absolutely nothing to do with “working harder” and everything to do with magic – or what some might call love.

Healing the Wounded Masculine in all of us

While some might find joy in driving, striving, forcing and cajoling (none of which should be confused with the Spirit-driven quest to fulfill the purpose of our Soul which sometimes looks like “hard work”), I suspect that the vast majority of humanity, like me, is suffering under the current “formula for success.” In order to heal our suffering, we have to go against the cultural norm, turning away from the voice of the distorted masculine that says “work harder, work more” and turning toward the voice of our Soul.  The voice of our Soul is that which speaks to us in the quiet places within when the mind is at rest, communicating to us the formula for “true success” – that which provides the resources, the inspiration and the drive for fulfilling our Soul’s purpose.  Our Soul’s purpose is made up of the unique way in which we have been gifted to find meaning in our lives and through which we find fulfillment in sharing these gifts for ourselves and for the sake of the betterment of the world.

Harnessing the Holy Masculine

While the process of listening to the voice of the Soul arises out of the Holy Feminine within us, the Holy Masculine puts the Soul’s guidance into action. The inner masculine supports the desires of the Soul, protecting it from outside (and inner) interference, and providing all the Soul needs to come into its fulfillment. The way in which the Holy Feminine reveals the path of the Soul and in which the Holy Masculine tends to the unfolding of the soul differs from one to another, but for me, this is what it looks like –

In listening to the Holy Feminine:

  1. I have come to understand that my Soul’s purpose is love.
  2. The unique way I have been called to be that love in the world is to support the spiritual awakening and self-actualization of humanity.
  3. I live out that calling through my unique gifts of vision (prophecy), empathy, discernment, encouragement (counseling), teaching, writing, leadership and healing.
  4. In order to serve humanity in this capacity, I need to tend to the needs of my Soul, specifically, the need for: solitude, daily meditation and prayer, nourishment (for both my physical body and my soul), exercise, family, healthy loving and mutually supportive friendships, spiritual community.

What does this look like on a daily basis? This is the work of the Holy Masculine:

  • Dedication to my daily (twice daily) spiritual practice.
  • Yoga
  • Walks in nature
  • Time for reading and learning
  • Time for writing
  • Honoring my need for solitude
  • Preparing nourishing and enjoyable meals for myself and my family
  • “Be” time with my children
  • Time with friends
  • Remaining active in the wider community
  • And in the midst of this, my Holy Child calls for play!

Now here’s the funny thing, when I am diligent in tending to the needs of my soul (the masculine quality of provision and support), those things by which we measure “success” in our Western world (money, notoriety) take care of themselves. When I put my needs first, what I need in order to survive in this world (for me that equals: paying students and clients, book sales) simply shows up.  Not because I worked hard or followed some “proven formula for success,” but simply because I took care of myself.

This is the magic of the Holy Masculine – when we allow “him” to provide, support and  protect the needs of the Soul (an act of profound self-love), the rest simply falls into place.

 

 

 

Posted in Authentic Freedom, Being Human, Divine Masculine, Empowerment, women

The Rise of the Divine Masculine

The Divine Masculine is a quality that resides within all of us – whether we identify as man, woman or other. In Western “civilization,” the Divine Masculine has been mostly absent as we have lived under the tyrannical reign of the unholy masculine.  The unholy masculine is the corruption of all that was originally intended in the divine masculine and is known by its motivation which is fear, power and control. The unholy masculine takes control and then rules through these motivations, making others subservient to it, creating a hierarchical, patriarchal paradigm which privileges male over female,  competition over cooperation, taking over sharing, war over peace, violence over harmony, etc. etc. etc.  It is the unholy masculine (along with its hideous partner the unholy feminine) that is destroying our world.

Divine Masculine, Holy Masculine, Divine Feminine, Holy Feminine, unholy masculine,

The Divine and Holy Masculine is none of these things and is/was the original way in which human beings were meant to live – in partnership with the other half of our Divine Souls – the Holy Feminine.

The purpose of the Divine Masculine is to defend our Soul. The Soul is the Divine within us which seeks to be known in and through the world.  The Soul is the bearer of our unique giftedness and the unique calling we all have to find meaning and fulfillment in our lives, for our own sake and then in service to the betterment of the world.  The Soul knows who we are and who we are called to be.  But, because we live in a world that does not honor our Soul, the Soul has become vulnerable.  Instead, the world around us (that has been created by the Unholy Masculine) tries to tell us who we are and how to live our lives.  Every time our Soul – our true calling – tries to make itself known, we are criticized, condemned, judged, even rejected because the Soul cannot be put into a box.  Our Soul wants FREEDOM in a world that seeks to imprison us with its fear.

As we begin to listen to the voice of our Soul, a great healing takes place. We begin to see through the lies and manipulations of the unholy masculine (and the unholy feminine).  We also begin to see how we have all indulged in and been controlled by the unholy within and outside of us.  We come to understand the deep woundedness within us that caused the unholy to emerge in the first place and we work toward healing these wounds.  Then, and only then, can the Holy within (that which is our truest nature) begin to emerge.

For people of all genders, this journey begins with the rise of the Divine Feminine. We begin to understand our feminine gifts of receiving and allowing, nurturing and supporting.  We become comfortable with our emotions, the ever-shifting sands of the human experience, the light and the darkness that is the human journey.  We get to know death, and loss, challenge and hardship and we learn how to be with it all.  Finally, we do the deep excavating work of Soul Retrieval – diving deep into our own shadows where we have hidden, stuffed, even rejected the parts of our Soul that we (or our society) would not accept….and we bring them forth into the light.  Here, we begin to know who we are, what we need and how we are called to be in the world. Once we get a pretty good handle on this….the Divine Masculine steps in.

The Divine Masculine is the energy within us of provision and protection. The Divine Masculine is the hunter, going out into the world and bringing to us what we need to support the unfolding of our Soul’s purpose.  The Divine Feminine tells the Masculine what is needed, and “he” brings it.  The Divine Masculine is also the gallant knight who stands at the gate to our Soul defending its unfolding.  In this role, the purpose of the Divine Masculine is to set boundaries, to say who and what will be a source of support for our Soul’s mission and purpose and then unapologetically says who or what shall pass through our gate.  (This unapologetic nature is something I have long admired in the men and women that I know who possess this trait!)

As divine expressions of the Love that made us all and seeks to be known in and through us, we deserve nothing less than becoming our true Divine nature – masculine and feminine, and ultimately whole.

 

Where are you in the journey of being your true Divine Self?

To begin the process of unfolding your own Divine Self, check out the Authentic Freedom Mastery Course and the Magdalene Priestess Training. 

 

Posted in Authentic Freedom, Being Human, Relationships

How the “Unholy Masculine” is Killing Us.

I want to be clear, right from the start, this blog is NOT about men and it is not against men. This blog is about a characteristic and behavior pattern of Western culture that I have come to call “the unholy masculine.” Both women and men are guilty of embodying characteristics and engaging in behaviors consistent with the “unholy masculine,” and THIS is the cause of all that is wrong with Western culture and IT is killing us.

The unholy masculine can be defined as:

Behaviors and characteristics of power and control, ultimately motivated by fear.

The unholy masculine are all the ways in which we attempt to have power over ourselves and/or others through acts of coercion, bullying, manipulating through fear and insecurity (think advertising and the media), trying to “make things happen,” forcing outcomes, agendas, our own will, etc.

angrywomanpixabay

The unholy masculine ultimately arises in response to our wholesale rejection of all that we perceive in ourselves as weakness, vulnerability, imperfection, helplessness, powerlessness, etc. Often this rejection of self isn’t even known, but is instead projected onto others, resulting in behavior patterns where we reject “them” (think “the poor,” “the jobless and unemployed,” “homeless,” “disabled,” “sick,” etc.)  because of their “weakness” or “powerlessness”.  The irony is that when we are rejecting others for their “weakness” what we are really rejecting is the weak and vulnerable parts of ourselves, which we then mask with behaviors of power and control.

Let me tell you a little story to help illustrate the subtle and insidious nature of the unholy masculine, as I have experienced it within myself.

As a Type One on the Enneagram, the Perfectionist/Reformer, imperfection is not allowed – specifically, imperfection as I define it. Imperfection in my mind has been anything that has to do with my definition of weakness and includes such things as anxiety, depression, panic attacks, helplessness, neediness, illness.  Sadness, loneliness, and anger have also been included in the soup of what I had/have rejected in myself, and what I therefore rejected in others because I could not accept them in myself. In contrast to the weakness that was not allowed, what was allowed was my definition of perfect….which meant independent (self-sufficient), courageous, smart, strong, and accomplished – specifically accomplished.

If I was accomplishing tasks, achieving my goals, I was perfect and strong. Especially if I was accomplishing these goals in spite of my fears, my insecurities, my sadness, loneliness….and later…anxiety, depression, panic attacks and SHEER EXHAUSTION. For most of my life, I rejected these parts of myself so much that I didn’t even know they existed.  (My Chi Qong master once observed, “Lauri, I sometimes think the only way you are making it from day to day is simply by force of your own will.”  Yep…she had me pegged!)

Accomplishing arose out of Doing, therefore “doing” was “good” and “not doing” was bad. Enjoyment, for the simple sake of enjoyment was also not allowed – because enjoyment did not equal “doing.”  Besides, enjoyment is only allowed after the doing is done, and the “doing” is never done – there is always something else I could/should be doing to accomplish my goals and complete my tasks.

THIS is the UNHOLY MASCULINE – suppressing the parts of myself I had rejected by means of power and control, forcing myself to DO and ACCOMPLISH because this is what I perceived to be of value and what I believed it meant to be perfect.

angrymanpixabay

As it turns out, all of this “DOING” for the sake of “ACCOMPLISHING” was mostly done in opposition to what my Soul actually needed and wanted. On occasion, my Soul would let me know this by casting me into a pit of profound “weakness.”  In high school it was two bouts with mono, in college it was chronic migraines, in midlife, anxiety, depression and panic attacks.  Most recently, it started with a MASSIVE virus that turned into an ear infection leading to vertigo, which then led to anxiety and depression, even panic attacks– the effects of which I am still struggling with today (hint….”struggling” is another manifestation of the unholy masculine).

THIS is the UNHOLY MASCULINE….and I am not the only one guilty of this behavior. In fact, the Unholy Masculine is what is wrong with our culture and it is the Unholy Masculine that is killing us.

  • Every time we act in opposition to our Soul,.
  • Every time we FORCE ourselves or others to do something, through coercion, bullying, manipulating through fear or by triggering insecurities.
  • Every time we JUDGE parts of ourselves as weak, worthless, unworthy, imperfect, bad, and then reject these in ourselves.
  • When we project our judgment of ourselves or our rejection of ourselves onto others.
  • When we bully, intimidate, try to “make something happen,” force ourselves or others into situations that are in opposition to their Soul.
  • When life feels like a struggle, a fight, a war.
  • When our relationships feel like a struggle.
  • Every time we treat ourselves or others in ways that are non-loving or unkind…

We are engaging in the Unholy Masculine.

lovingchildrenpixabay

The key to healing ourselves and therefore our culture of the Unholy Masculine begins with identifying and learning to love all the parts of ourselves we had previously rejected:

  • Our perceived weakness (which often turn out to be our greatest gifts).
  • Our vulnerabilities.
  • Our needs, wants, desires.
  • Our past hurts and unhealed wounds.
  • Our losses, our sorrows and our grief.
  • Our aging, changing bodies.
  • The ways in which our looks don’t measure up to what Victoria’s Secret or GQ Magazine tells us is the ideal.
  • Our mental, physical, emotional and spiritual “illnesses”.
  • Our past traumas, and broken hearts.
  • Our emotions.
  • Our thoughts.
  • The unique way in which our Soul NEEDS to move about this world.

As we come to accept these in ourselves, we come to accept them in others, the result of which is loving behavior toward ourselves and loving behaviors toward others.

In this we transform the unholy masculine to the HOLY MASCULINE – providing, protecting and supporting through kind and loving acts, which is exactly what I am off to do for myself this day. Game of Thrones, Season 3, here I come!

 

 

Posted in Mary Magdalene

Resurrecting the Magdalene – Reclaiming the Divine Feminine e-course

Available Now!!!

Mary Magdalene e-course

Resurrecting the Magdalene – Reclaiming the Divine Feminine

Created and Facilitated by Lauri Ann Lumby, OM, MATS

6 self-paced lessons.

NOTE:  Every e-course purchased during the month of December will also receive a free copy of my e-book, “Starting a Spiritual Practice – the First Tools of Empowerment”  Place your order today! 

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Resurrecting the Magdalene is a six-lesson, self-paced, e-course created by Lauri Ann Lumby, transpersonal educator, author, spiritual director and ordained interfaith minister. The purpose of this course is to reveal and share in the deeper and hidden truths about the Magdalene and her time with Jesus; including her roles as student, initiate, co-equal partner, wife, facilitator and witness to the resurrection, and the one sent to continue Jesus’ mission of being love in the world.  Participants are empowered through the course to reclaim their own Divine Feminine and are activated to be a vessel of Divine Love in the world.

ResurrectingMagdaleneE-Course

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NOTE:  Every e-course purchased during the month of December will also receive a free copy of my e-book, “Starting a Spiritual Practice – the First Tools of Empowerment”  Place your order today! 

 Testimonials from past students:

I took the Resurrecting the Magdalene class with Lauri. The class opened my eyes and heart to the emerging Divine Feminine.  Lauri teaches the truth of Mary Magdalene in a very heartfelt curriculum. I highly recommend Lauri as a teacher and her Resurrecting the Magdalene class for men and women alike.  Rita D., Oshkosh WI.

Through the Mary Magdalene experience I developed a deep and meaningful relationship with both Mary and Jesus. I was opened up to their love, healing  and compassion. I connected with my inner knowing and truth about Mary and divine feminine. This course opened my heart and allowed more room for  spiritual growth! -Shannon, Oshkosh, WI

Posted in Inspiration, self-actualization, Surrender, women

The Harm We Do to Ourselves- Listening to Our Souls

The Harm We Do to Ourselves – Listening to Our Souls

This past weekend I had a meltdown. Perhaps it was the prednisone I was taking for an ear infection.  More likely, it was a part of my SOUL communicating a deep truth.  The truth was about all the ways in which I have ignored the deep longings of my Soul, ignored the truth of my Soul and ignored the voice of my Soul, in favor of what society says we “should” be doing.  The meltdown was unique to me and my own unique temperament and gifts, while being deeply reflective of the harm we have done to ourselves by putting on what is not authentically ours.

For me, the harm arises out of all the ways in which I have denied the feminine within me in favor of the masculine.  At some point in my journey, I came to (falsely) believe the feminine to be weak, powerless, frivolous and silly and put on the qualities of the masculine – assertive, self-sufficient, independent, aloof, active, striving after achievement, success (as it is defined by Western culture), and doing so by driving and striving.  I was the pain in the ass Type-A overachiever, straight A, National Honor society snob who was hell bent on making my own way in the world and becoming rich and famous doing so.

While there is nothing wrong with being achievement oriented and striving after success, for me, it has been a journey that has proved fruitless and has cost me my health and my Soul. The past two weeks on the couch have shown me that – and the meltdown this weekend showed me why.  This pattern has shown up over and over and over in my life – every time I’m burning the candle on both ends and through the middle, I CRASH.  In high school it was mono and strep throat that got me down. In my adult years, a chronic illness coming out of remission.  Now….a viral ear infection with vertigo that has left me couch bound for the past two weeks.  After fifty years of the same repeating pattern, I think I got it.  I got the how, now to repair the why.

St. Mary Magdalene Crucified by Giedrius Plioplys. Used with permission.
St. Mary Magdalene Crucified by Giedrius Plioplys. Used with permission.

Repairing the why begins with listening DEEPLY to my Soul. What does my Soul really want?  How do I really want to operate in the world?  What does my Soul need to feel nurtured, supported and fulfilled?  For me, it starts with asking questions about what has proven harmful to my Soul:

  • Thinking I can and should be able to do it by myself. (THIS IS A BIGGIE!)
  • Believing success is defined by money, fame, reputation, power.
  • Listening to so-called experts about how success is obtained and trying to follow them even when their ways feel counter-intuitive to me.
  • Judging myself and my decision by societal “shoulds” (ie: debt is bad, public speaking and networking are the roads to success, you are valued by how hard and how much you work, if you work hard you will be rewarded, if you think the right thoughts you will get what you want.).
  • Comparing myself to others in my field.

After sorting out what is NOT life-giving and nurturing to my Soul, I ask my Soul what it really needs from me. Her answers were not surprising in the least because at the deepest part of who I am….this is what I long for:

My Soul, more than anything in the world, wants to be nurtured and cared for…..so she can be the source of nurturing and support for others I am called to be. My Soul feels nurtured when I:

  • Feed my body through healthy, beautiful, nourishing foods I enjoy.
  • Move my body gently through yoga, dance, walking, stretching.
  • Take regular time for meditation, prayer, self-reflection.
  • Write – simply for the sake of writing, especially when it is creative.
  • Read – for enjoyment and for learning.
  • Create a home that is beautiful to me and feels like a sanctuary for myself and my loved ones.
  • Take time with those I love.
  • Spend time with dear friends.
  • Take time for creating.
  • Spend time in the woods.
  • Take time to enjoy the arts.
  • Honor my introvert with alone-time and with activities that feel supportive of an introverted personality.
  • Enjoy ease in the allowing – taking a wait and watch attitude and trusting that what I need to support myself, my well-being and my Soul’s longing and purpose will show itself when I am quiet enough to perceive its arrival.
  • Exercise the unique gifts I have been given to share with the world – and sharing them.

As I sat in deep listening to the call of my Soul, I also heard her speak about the true role of the Sacred Feminine and along with this an invitation to allow more of this into my life:

The Sacred Feminine

  • Creates and tends to the nest.
  • She nurtures, supports and guides, often by example, those under her care.
  • She cares for those in her care when they need caring for.
  • She watches for the readiness of those in her care to go out into the world on their own and she sends them forth with encouragement, support and empowerment.
  • She sees, hears and feels deeply – often seeing what needs to be seen in another before they can see it themselves. She sees the promise in another and supports them in becoming that.
  • The work of the feminine is sacred and holy and is honored by the Holy Masculine who protects her and provides for her so she can do her great work.
  • The sacred feminine surrenders into the arms of this support.

And more than all of this my Soul has one fervent plea, “I’m tired of seeking….I want to be found.”

 

How have you taken time to listen deeply to the needs of your Soul?

How might you be ignoring the voice of your Soul in favor of what society says you “should” be doing?

How have you been doing harm to yourself in ignoring the voice of your Soul?

What does your Soul really need and want from you?