In today’s blog I share I poem I wrote in response to restlessness and desire.
HOLDING THE TENSION
Pressing upon me from within – the feelings of things imminent.
GO! DO! DO SOMETHING! DO ANYTHING!
When are they going to call?
When will I know?
Is he going to call?
Where is the plan?
Where is the direction?
I WANT TO KNOW!
Who am I?
Who am I supposed to be?
What will my life look like in twenty-thirteen?
Haunted by a teacher’s words:
“HOLD THE TENSION”
Do not act.
Do not initiate.
Stop pushing.
Stop leading.
Stop driving, forcing, cajoling, manipulating.
I try to sit in the silence and BREATHE
My insides quake…bursting from the PRESSURE.
Pacing the floor – a cat in heat.
Reaching. Grasping. Seeking. Desiring.
Give me direction.
Give me purpose.
Something to hope for.
Something to hang on to.
Something to dream upon.
Something I can hold in my hand and claim as my own.
Prosperity. Success. Love.
And the prophet’s words:
“In your pursuit is the cause of lack.”
Humbled
Yet even this does not ease
THE PRESSURE BUILDING FROM WITHIN
copyright 2012 Lauri Lumby
