Posted in Being Human, creativity, Holy Spirit, Inspiration, women

Curly Haired Women are Rarely Well-Behaved

Exploring the genetic gift/curse of curly hair and its likely connection to creativity and an inability to conform (aka behave).  🙂    The spiritual journey toward embracing how God made us and who Goddess made us to be…creative, passionate, pioneers.

Laurias Kat

Marsha Brady is the Devil

Marsha….Marsha….Marsha…..the immortal lament of Jan Brady and all other curly haired women who grew up in the 70’s when long, luxurious, straight hair was held up as next to godliness and if your hair was anything less than stick straight, you were condemned to giving over at least half of your life to trying to make your hair behave (aka straight).  I personally lost years of my life to blowing my wavy hair straight and then finishing it off with 20 gallons of Aqua Net hoping to keep it that way and then praying like hell for no humidity and bargaining away my unborn children in exchange for the absence of rain.

A Child of the 70’s

Being a child of the 70’s, I spent a fair part of my life trying to control the unruly nature of my curly hair.  Blow drying, curling irons, straightening irons were necessary accessories for curly haired women in a straight haired world (things haven’t changed much…have they!!!???).  This was all fine and good, I learned, until I dared to try a short haircut, modeled after one of my 1970’s idols….Dorothy Hamill.  What stylists did not know in 1978 is that the “Hamill Camel” DOES NOT WORK ON CURLY HAIR…so I was forced to suffer the agony and humiliation of two years of horrible ugliness as I waited for a bad decision to grow out.  “Women with straight hair do not have to go through this,” I thought to myself as I watched the middle school princesses walk down the hall with beautifully straight hair and well-behaving feathered bangs.  SIGH.  So, not only was Marsha Brady the devil, now so were Dorothy Hamill and Farrah Fawcett, Kate Jackson and Jaclyn Smith!  Curse you straight haired women!

With Age Comes Wisdom

It took me many years but I eventually learned to embrace and maybe even love my curly hair.  With stylists that know what to do and products that assist (Psst:  My favorite curly hair products are Ouidad and Paul Mitchell), I can now wear my hair in ringlets like God/dess intended.  That does not mean that I don’t occasionally get caught up in a wild hair, especially during the doldrums of winter, and pull out a flat iron for that sleek Jennifer Aniston look.  Once spring is here, however, all bets are off and my hair it at the mercy of the 90+% humidity characteristic of the Midwest.  There are some interesting lessons I have learned, however, about curly hair, curly haired women (and men) and what seems like a genetic predisposition to misbehaving.  Somewhere in that curly haired gene, I believe, is a equally defiant gene that says, “I WILL NOT….and CANNOT CONFORM!”   (kind of like our hair!)


Myths, Wives tales and Nursery Rhymes

Remember this little ditty that was perhaps read to you at bedtime:

There once was a little girl

with a little curl

right in the middle of her forehead.

and when she was good, she was very, very good.

And when she was bad, she was horrid.

Yep.  I remember it too.  Along with something about “the devil’s curly hair” and the tendency toward curly hair among witches and evil goddesses.  In particular, I think of Medusa with her curling hair of snakes and eyes that when caught in your gaze, turned you to stone.  Myths, fairytales, nursery rhymes, legends all seem to suggest that curly hair is something to scorn, or at the very least, worthy of caution.  Curly haired women are dangerous.  Curly haired women are naughty.  Curly haired women are bad.  What I have learned in observing the lives of other women (and men) I know with the gift of curly hair, its seems there is some truth in these tales of old.  But, dangerous is simply a matter of perspective.  Curly haired women are only dangerous to those who cling to the status quo, who do not like change, who fear creativity, who run from emotion or  shun passion.  For like our hair, curly haired women tend not to be ones who will be obedient to the status quo or to some outside perceived authority.  Curly haired women (like our hair) cannot be controlled, neither can we be contained.  We don’t like being told what to do because (like our hair) we have a mind and a purpose, a direction and truth all our own.  So, yes, curly haired women are to be feared if you prefer to live within the tightly held constrictions of societal norms, expectations and standards; but to those who enjoy a life of freedom, a life where they feel supported in the pursuit of their wildest hair ideas, then curly haired women are not a danger, but a precious gift.  So, today I offer a toast to all the curly haired women out there for their courage, creativity, ingenuity, foresight and tenacity and another to the brave souls who are the grateful recipients of our magnificent gifts!

Lauri& Sasha

SOUL is the unique way you are creatively gifted to find meaning, purpose and connection. Soul, when engaged, leaves you feeling fulfilled, content and whole.  My mission is to help you BIRTH YOUR SOUL.  You can contact Lauri Ann Lumby, “Midwife to your Soul” at (920) 230-1313 or

Posted in About Lauri, creativity

Midwife to Your Soul

SOUL is the unique way we are creatively gifted to finding meaning, purpose and connection. Soul, when engaged, leaves us feeling fulfilled, content and whole.    As one who has courageously trod the path of the SOUL, I find my mission is now to help you BIRTH YOUR SOUL.

I dropped the cloak from around my shoulders out of which my religion was made
And gently ascended to the heavens
Liberated from the burden of somebody else’s god
and all the inherent limitations thereof.
Finally free to explore a higher calling –
The calling of my soul: carnal, passionate, uninhibited, fecund, creativity.
Where dancing feet meet writer’s pen and everything in between.
Hands bloody and dripping from birthing myself
standing ready to midwife another one’s soul.

copyright 2013  Lauri Ann Lumby

As MIDWIFE TO YOUR SOUL, my mission is to assist you in birthing your SOUL. I accomplish this mission by partnering with you through:

  • Workshops, classes and retreats
  • One-on-one Mentoring

To set up a private, one-on-one creativity mentoring session (in-person, over the phone or via SKYPE) call (920) 230-1313 or email

To arrange for a creativity workshop, class or retreat for your group, call (920) 230-1313 or email

Posted in Midlife Journey, Returning book, Spiritual Practices

Returning – “aimed deep.”

Today’s review of my upcoming book, Returning – a woman’s midlife journey to herself, comes to us through local musician and composer, Dorothy Zerbe.  (See Dorothy’s Bio below)  Thank you Dorothy for your well thought-out and beautifully articulated review.  More importantly, thank you for your beautiful ODE TO MY BELLY!  Well done sister, well done!  🙂

Dorothy Zerbe
Dorothy Zerbe

Dorothy’s Review:

Lauri Lumby’s book Returning – A woman’s midlife journey to herself is full of honest and frequently dark emotions. Lauri forges ahead with the very best-suited and colorful language in order to depict accurately the author’s often-painful journey through girlhood, family dysfunction and coming of age into womanhood. Yet her language does not offend; it simply challenges the reader to ask herself “Have I felt this way too?”

Returning offers a deep look into a reality that many might deny – that life is hard and demands our full attention if we are to live in a meaningful way. Perhaps some people can skim along the surface and find happiness in a simple, non-confrontational manner. Not this author! This collection of poetry and interactive writing is aimed deep. It is directed toward those of us whose challenges in life have exacted a toll on the emotional fabric of our humanity. Yet we are not looking for a scapegoat. We are looking for answers and are willing to take as many steps as necessary to find them. We are grateful and are looking for a way to give back. The author takes us on that journey, not only into many of her major challenging experiences and her responses to them, but also invites us along for her climb upward onto the top of these events and emotions. She shows us how the very things that hurt her and held her down are now the things that help create her mountaintop experiences.

The various writing and meditative exercises included in this book give the reader a chance to connect with the material and make it a part of her own journey. This is a book that could be taken on a solitary weekend retreat, at the end of which a woman would surely know herself much better. Or, it could be used on a daily basis for a season of self-exploration.

Here are some examples of what struck me in my reading of Returning:

Her description of Hades was surely the most interesting that I have ever read!

Lauri offers a most generous view of who God is, the way God talks to us and allows us to be who we are. The sum of it is that God allows us things in our lives to teach us how to deal more generously with ourselves. This is very different from the view that I heard frequently when I was a teen-ager, from the religious group that I was affiliated with, the view that God allows things to happen to us in order to teach us not to rely on ourselves so much. I like the way Lauri’s view of God is more positive instead of a “cut-yourself-down-to-size” approach.

The story of the goddess Persephone is an amazing contrast to the Judeo/Christian traditional view of Heaven and Hell, and challenges our stereotypes of what it means to be happy. I related very well to Persephone, as one artistic/melancholy personality to another.

I liked the exercise that challenged me to write an ode to my belly:

ODE TO MY BELLY by Dorothy Zerbe

Oh, middle part of me, the core of all I do:

How can I ever get over you?

I have left you behind because you got too big

You hung over the top of my pants and that really bugged me

Your essence is strength but you cover it with soft stuff that doesn’t really help anybody

Oh, belly, oh my little mound of sweet potato roll dough:

How can I lose you and be happy?

Yet when you’re gone, I feel strangely free

Like I could run for a long time and not get tired

You delivered me 4 beautiful babies and for that I will never forget you

But let’s not forget, once they were out, your job was done and

That was no excuse to balloon up into something over-important and pretentious, like

“Feed me! Fatten me! Take care of me!” in all those ways that you and I both know

Are very unhealthy!

So let’s keep the peace –

I’ll feed you amazing greens, fresh fruits and veggies

Lean meats, nonfat dairy and whole grains (and the occasional* piece of chocolate)

And you stay where you belong, lean and strong

I’ll stop complaining about you, and

You stay flat and out of the way and in place behind the waistband

You continue to be my core, my rock,

Giving me the strength and fortitude it takes to walk

And I’ll stay with you and we’ll be the best of friends!

*occasional = yep, pretty much every day

Dorothy Zerbe’s writing is influenced by nature, family, friends, animals, love, life changes and emotions of every color.   She performs in coffeehouses, small concerts, festivals, churches, parks, nursing homes, yoga classes and private parties.   Her training includes a lifetime of classical, jazz and sacred/spiritual influence,  with a great big dose of folk and pop from the 60’s and 70’s to lead her guitar, voice and keyboard skills.  Dorothy studied piano from age 7 to adult,  and began guitar in high school. While raising her children,  Dorothy taught herself to play piano by ear and began writing childrens’ songs.  One cycle of songs that came from that time is called “Lands Where I Live” – themed by the various emotions we all go through, recorded in 1991.    Other recordings include  2 CD’s of original songs,  listed below, recorded in 2001 and 2006.  Dorothy runs a series of concerts from her home featuring other artists, called the Savage Beast House Concerts.   She is currently employed as Music Ministry Leader at  Faith United Methodist Church, Neenah.  She also works as a liturgical musician for the Sisters of the Sorrowful Mother, Oshkosh, and as a piano accompanist for local choirs and soloists.  Dorothy teaches piano, voice and guitar at the Keynote School of Music in Shawano one day a week.  For more information about booking Dorothy to play or about the Savage Beast concert series, please contact Dorothy at

Listen to and purchase Dorothy’s music at:

To hear “A Long Way To Go” songs, go to:
To hear “Rooted and Free” songs, go to: