Posted in creativity, God, Inspiration, Mystics

Mystics, Madwomen and a Rock and Roll God

The journey of the Soul, I have learned, comes in fits and starts.  Sometimes seemingly stagnant, sometimes dead and lying in the grave, sometimes dancing naked in the streets – a journey that we want like heck to control, but one we must instead learn to surrender to.  After taking a huge step forward yesterday by moving through one of my biggest fears (public speaking), I found myself writing poetry again.  Who knew that this was what was waiting for me to get over myself?  I’m sharing one of the fun poems that came out of yesterday’s creative burst.  After playing with this poem, ask yourself, “What is lying in wait for me when I move through that next big fear?????”  (PS  Thank you Rob Zombie, Motley Crue and Disturbed for being today’s muse!)


Rock and Roll God

You may have your god in flowing white robes, hands in pious prayer, basking in his golden hue.

My God wears black leather,

With long, flowing hair,

An electric guitar strapped across his chest,

Pounding out tunes and serenading me with:


“Shout, Shout, Shout at the Devil”


“Living Dead-Girl”

While calling me forth from my grave.

copyright 2013  Lauri Ann Lumby

Posted in Authentic Freedom, Being Human, Midlife Journey, Relationships

The Courage to Be Vulnerable

As human beings, we are hardwired to seek companionship and intimacy.  Like wolves, lions, deer and buffalo, as a species, our survival is dependent on our ability to work together.  Beyond mere survival, however, we thrive when we learn to work together in mutually supportive, peaceful and harmonious ways and in ways that seek to work for the individual as well as the common good.  During midlife and in the birth of the Soul, this drive becomes even more urgent as we realize the finite nature of our existence and are forced to confront and make peace with the places where loving, harmonious connections were not supported.  In order to move through this delicate period of transition, we discover that the most valuable quality we can cultivate within ourselves, is the courage to be vulnerable. Today’s blog addresses this courage.

courage to be vulnerable


In a recent discussion with a colleague and business partner, I was reminded of the pain of vulnerability and the courage it takes to become the people God/dess made us to be. We were enjoying a deep conversation about life when the innocent question was posed, “Lauri, how did you get to where you are today?”  I paused, looking for the right response to his question, then I heard myself saying, “It started when the universe fell in on me.”  Then I told the story that began thirteen years ago and is still unfolding today.  I realized at one point in telling the story how truly uncomfortable I was telling this tale.  I’ve told the story a million times in my writing, but rarely within the intimacy of a one-on-one, face-to-face, conversation.  In telling the story, I was no longer Lauri “the teacher, minister, healer, writer, published author, leader,” I was the Lauri that is wounded, vulnerable, terrified, and alone.  I was reminded of how difficult it is to be this Lauri and was grateful when the doorbell rang so that this topic could be put back on the shelf.

The Courage to Be Vulnerable

But the conversation isn’t over.  In fact, it is just beginning.  If we wish to allow for the birth of our Soul – the uniquely creative way in which we have been gifted to find meaning, purpose and fulfillment in our lives and the way in which we are called to contribute to the betterment of the world – then the most important thing we can  do for ourselves is to learn how to be vulnerable.  In the Western culture, it is most often during midlife (menopause and perimenopause) that our Soul begins to exert its pressure on us as it seeks to be known and realized in our lives.  In birthing our Soul, we have to confront all the painful things of our past – name them, process them, heal, and release or transform them.  In confronting the pain of our past, we are acknowledging our humanness – that we are imperfect and flawed – that we suffer and that sometimes we are the cause of suffering.  In confronting our past, we are also invited to cultivate forgiveness – forgiveness of our own imperfections and forgiveness of the flaws and imperfections of others.  In order to confront our past and cultivate forgiveness, we have to be vulnerable – we have to set down the illusion of how we want others to see us, release the mask of who we want to believe we are, and set down the shield of our counterfeit strength.  Instead, we have to stand naked before ourselves, and naked before the world as human beings – afraid, vulnerable, weak and often feeling alone.

Vulnerability and True Courage

It is in learning to be vulnerable, in admitting our humanness, that we discover authentic courage.  Authentic courage comes out of our willingness to be vulnerable – not only to ourselves, but more importantly, with another.  When we can set down the shields of counterfeit strength and stand naked before one another, we find true intimacy – the kind of intimacy that God/dess offers to us, desires from us and envisions as possible within the human race. It is only in true intimacy where we discover the seeds of the compassionate love, mutual honor and respect, and harmonious interdependence that we were created to experience and make manifest in the world.  And it is only in cultivating this kind of harmonious interdependence that, as a species, we can ever hope to move beyond mere survival (which we are barely accomplishing at this point in our evolution) into the thriving enthusiasm and joy that God/dess intends for us to know.

Lauri Lumby supports women and men in their search for authentic courage through one-on-one mentoring. To learn more or set up your own session, call (920) 230-1313 or email  

Posted in Authentic Freedom, Empowerment, Midlife Journey

Midlife – Time to Put on your Big Girl and Big Boy Panties!

If the purpose and goal of the midlife transition is to clear out all the inner and outer obstacles and make way for the birth of our Soul – the uniquely creative way in which we have been gifted to find meaning and purpose in our life and to contribute to the betterment of the world, then it is time to put on our big girl and big boy panties!  Only the truly brave and courageous will succeed in their goal.  The rest, will be doomed to a life of quiet desperation,  – just sayin! (not that there is anything wrong with making that choice).

put on your big girl panties!
put on your big girl panties!

It is Your Choice

The midlife (including perimenopause and menopause) journey is ultimately about choice.  Do we want to spend the second two-thirds of our life discontent, restless, bored, unfulfilled, anxious, worried, depressed and lonely?  I don’t know about you, but I want more out of my life.

  • I want the authentic freedom that is my birthright, my Divine inheritance.
  • I want to experience what the ancients might call “the kingdom of God” or “heaven on earth.”
  • I want work that is meaningful.
  • I want to identify, cultivate and find purpose in my creative gifts.
  • I want meaningful, healthy, intimate friendships.
  • I want a mutually supportive, nurturing and respectful love with a shared sense of purpose.
  • I want to know peace in a world that might seem chaotic.
  • I want to experience contentment, love and joy with the time that God has given me.

I don’t think this is too much to ask, and all the ancient masters tell us that this is what life is supposed to be.  The problem, however, is that many don’t believe they deserve a life better than the one they have found themselves in and even more don’t believe they have a choice in the matter.  Well guess what?  THEY ARE WRONG.  We all have a choice about what we want to do with our lives, more importantly, we do get to choose what we feel about it.  In order to choose something different, however, we have to have COURAGE.

Confronting what we swept under the rug

In order to accomplish the midlife task of birthing our Soul, we have to confront everything that we have spent the past 30-50 some years sweeping under the rug. We have to confront EVERY unhealed wound.  For some, this might mean acknowledging that wounding actually took place.  Until we are ready to confront hurt, betrayal, disappointment, loss and even abuse, we sometimes have to ignore (suppress or repress) that is even took place.  As we approach midlife, our Soul conspires to free us from these hurts and begins to kick the rug under which these things have been swept.   When the debris of our past is unleashed upon us, it can, at first, feel traumatic, but the intention is not to harm us or make us crazy, it is to help us heal and release the things of the past so that our true self can emerge.  When the debris is freed, we have a choice, we can seek support and assistance with confronting these issues, or we can try, once again, to sweep them under the rug.  The courageous seek support and find healing.  The fearful simply create more stress and anxiety for themselves through all the effort it takes to keep their truth under the rug.

Time to put on our big girl and big boy panties!

The other thing that happens in midlife is related to life changes.  For many, their current life contains reflections of the Soul, but in midlife, the Soul wants more.  As the Soul begins to emerge, it shakes up the perceived security of our lives and challenges the status quo.  In order to allow our Soul its fullest expression, we may have to change the structure of our lives and be ready to let go of what is no longer supportive of the Soul to welcome a life that we do not yet know.  This is scary.  But again, the courageous meet this invitation head on and work through all the inner fears and resistance to change, thereby allowing the birth of the Soul.  Others, run the other way.  At the end of the day, if we really want to embrace a life that is fulfilling, content, loving, peaceful and joyful and on which has meaning and purpose and helps to contribute to the betterment of the world, we have to put on our big girl and big boy panties and embrace the Courage that God gave us to succeed in this task.  And if we think we do not have courage – this is where we are VERY wrong.  Courage is an inner quality that we all possess.  We decide if we want to use it or not.

Lauri Lumby works with people one-on-one in identifying and clearing the obstacles to the birth of their soul.  To set up your own personal phone or Skype session, call (920) 230-1313 or email

Posted in Being Human, Body/Mind/Spirit connection, creativity, Inspiration, Midlife Journey, Spiritual Formation

The Discomfort of Change

The human journey is a continual process of changing and growing – a cyclical process of dying and birthing – letting go of that which no longer serves us and making room for the new life that wants to be made known through us.  These life changes are often accompanied by feelings of discontent, boredom, loneliness, anxiety, depression and even despair.  How do we know our life is ready for the next cycle of change and what do we do about it?


The Constant Process of Birthing Ourselves

Life is a continual process of birthing ourselves.  Beginning with the moment our father’s sperm meets our mother’s egg,  life consists of a constant process of evolution, growth and change.  And change does not cease once we reach our full height sometime during adolescence or because we achieved certain milestones like graduating high school or college.  In fact, I sometimes think that once we reach “adulthood,” our growth accelerates – especially at significant times such as marriage, childbirth, midlife and elderhood – we just do a really good job of resisting or altogether ignoring the continual unfoldment necessary for Soul.


Soul is the uniquely creative way in which we have been gifted to find meaning and purpose in our lives and the way in which we are gifted to contribute to the betterment of the world.  As we move through the journey of life, Soul desires to reveal itself in deeper, more meaningful and more expansive ways.  Soul is never done revealing itself…..if we let it.  Unfortunately, we tend to spend more time resisting or ignoring Soul than allowing it to be born.  Fortunately, the desire of the Soul is greater than any resistance we could throw at it and it will persist in trying to be born…or die trying.   Yes, we can ignore and even deny the continual revelation of our Soul…even to the point of the Soul’s “death” (the Soul never really dies it will just feel that way) but the harder we resist the more uncomfortable things will become.

Heralding the Soul

While the birthing of the Soul is a deeply spiritual and mysterious process, its effects will be felt on both an emotional and physical level.  Soul, when it is ready to be done with a current phase of our life and is preparing to move to the next more expansive, more fulfilling state, starts to get restless, and we along with it.  Restlessness, discontent, boredom, are all feelings there to alert us to the Soul preparing for its next stage of unfoldment.  As the restlessness sets in, anxiety is sure to follow as our very human fear of change begins to resist the Soul….knowing that if Soul is ready to be born anew, that something will have to die or be set aside.  Like the plant that must die in order that it can reseed and be born anew, part of what we have known our life to be will need to pass away in order to make room for something new.  If we acknowledge this anxiety for what it is, identify what it is that is calling for release, grieve the loss and let it go, then we can gently surrender to the new opportunities Soul is promising for us.  If, however, we resist the call of the Soul and continue to resist it, then all hell breaks loose.  Resistance to Soul is known by feelings of profound anxiety, panic, debilitating despair and depression.  And if we further resist the birth of Soul, sensations move beyond our emotions and take root in our body through physical pain and even disease.  Chronic pain, fibromyalgia, digestive issues, panic attacks, auto-immune disease, are all thought to be related to resistance to Soul.  (Birthing the Soul also means naming, claiming, standing up for all of our truths….especially the ones we’d rather forget or keep hidden).  The harder we work to resist our Soul (and our truths), the more drastic measures Soul/Truth will engage to try to get our attention.

Surrender to Soul

To alleviate the discomfort associated with the transitions of Soul, we only need to do one thing.  LET OUR SOUL BE BORN!  When we GET OUT OF THE WAY and SURRENDER to the Soul as it is trying to be born, we are relieved of the pain that accompanies the Soul’s transition.  Like labor, the birth of the Soul is never pain free, but when we surrender to the process, accept loving support from family, friends and professionals, we are able to move through the transition in a smoother and easier way.  When we acknowledge that which needs to be released in order to make room for the new and grieve that loss, when we employ effective tools for moving through our own fear and resistance to the new life that is not yet known, then we find grace and ease in the process of the Soul’s birthing.  And, like the birth of a child, when we allow Soul to be born, we are rewarded in greater and more miraculous ways than we ever could have imagined before.

For assistance and support in the transitions of birthing your Soul, contact Lauri Lumby at (920) 230-1313 or