Posted in Relationships, women

The Divine Feminine’s Lament

The Divine Feminine’s Lament

copyright Lauri Ann Lumby

Original Art by Lauri Ann Lumby

Across lifetimes we have journeyed.
Between dimensions we have travelled.
Together building universes
Until Fear tore us apart.
For eons we’ve sought our reunion…
And for a brief moment we met.
For that brief moment I had hope.
I opened the door to loving you –
Not the man cloaked in glamour,
But the man behind the mask.
Naked, vulnerable and made impotent by a competitive and hostile world.
In that brief moment I saw you –
My Beloved.
But just as quickly you were gone.
And my heart was once again torn in two.

Posted in Beloved Partnership

Once There Was Union

Once There was Union

copyright Lauri Ann Lumby

Original Art by Lauri Ann Lumby

When I pierce the veil of time and peer across dimensions, it is only Union I know.
Where we were One in heart and mind.
Seamless.
Here we felt safe and our world was made of joy.
Singing the songs of creation.
Making universes with our love.
Then the whole world danced with joy.
We were happy then.
Love holding us together
Until fear tore us apart –
Casting our souls into the Void,
Spitting us out on the other side.
Trembling in our nakedness,
Separate. Alone. Afraid.
Forever cursed to searching for what we once had.
Yearning. Longing. Crying out.
Finding only sorrow in our search.
Temporary distractions and momentary satisfactions.
While holding the excruciating pain of longing in our hand.
Will we ever find our way home to the love we once knew?
I in you and you in me.
One as the Universe intended.

 

Posted in Beloved Partnership, Relationships

A Dating Questionnaire for the Awakened

This is for all those I know who are way beyond the co-dependency currently favored in the western relationship model.  We are no longer looking for completion – we are looking for mutual honor, respect and an equal partnership of shared and complementary gifts.  We are looking for Beloved Partnership and Self-actualized Love.

 

I don’t care how much money you make,

What car you drive or where you live.

I want to know your Soul.

But for me to know your Soul,

You must know it first:

 

Have you died and lived a thousand deaths?

Tell me how your life has brought you to your knees.

What did you learn about yourself in the process?

Who have you found yourself to be on the other side of lying prostrate?

Have you walked through the fires of hell

and made friends with your demons?

 

How do you treat the broken and fragile things of this world?

Are you friends with your own vulnerability?

Is there room in your heart and your actions

For foreigners and immigrants?

The mentally ill and disabled?

The aging and the ailing?

The homeless, abused, neglected, forgotten and ignored?

Those who struggle day to day just to survive?

Is there room in your heart for “they?”

 

How are you walking kindly and gently upon this earth?

Can you see the earth as another living thing in need of our love?

 

Are you moved to tears by both the beauty and the horrors of our world?

Can you laugh at yourself?

Are you strong in the face of danger and

Weak in the Presence of Love?

Are you able to be alone…and quiet…and still?

Do you find comfort in silence and inspiration in song?

Can you hold space for one who is breaking –

Especially when the broken one is You?

Copyright Lauri Ann Lumby

 

For support in your journey of love – moving beyond “You Complete Me” to “Beloved Partnership, read and entertain the activities in my book:

Buy it now on Amazon
Posted in About Lauri, Beloved Partnership, codependency, happily ever after, Mary Magdalene, Relationships

My Secret Pain – the Call of Beloved Partnership

It is said that “the truth shall set you free.” I have continued to find this to be true.  But knowing that in expressing our truth we shall find freedom and actually expressing our truth are two different things, especially when expressing those truths leaves you naked and vulnerable in the face of an often cold and cruel world.  But, it is also said, “No pain, no gain.”  So……here goes.

I have a truth that I have carefully guarded and kept very close to my heart, revealing this secret to only a select few. The truth is that I am called to Beloved Partnership.

Click on the image above to read about Mary Magdalene and the call to Beloved Partnership.

What I have come to understand is that being called to Beloved Partnership is a Divine calling and one that cannot be fulfilled until we are reunited with our other half. Being a Beloved Partner differs from co-dependency in that it is not about looking for someone to complete us.  Instead, it is about a shared energy that compels both to seek after their own wholeness, spiritually igniting each other in mutual and shared growth until they reach the point when they are meant to come together in Divine and Holy Partnership – the kind of partnership that is Divinely ordained and which no one can tear asunder.

I am a Beloved Partner and on some level, I have known this my whole life. Since my earliest memory, I have known what my Beloved feels like.  I have felt/known his presence around me.  I have heard him calling me and have experienced the promise of our union.  I have looked for him and thought I had found him in others, only and always learning that “this is not him.”  (That is not to say there hasn’t been value in all the relationships that in the end proved not to be my Twin.)

Until 2004-ish, my Beloved has only been known to me in the energy of promise and potential. I had an idea in my head and a sense of what should be, but nothing concrete to base it on.  Then came the vision that CHANGED MY LIFE.  In short – I SAW HIM!  I saw him and I felt him.  More importantly, I experienced what it feels like to be in his presence and to have him look into my eyes.  The experience was one of pure adoration and love – the likes of which I had never experienced before.

For 13 years, I have carried this experience with me, allowing it to guide and direct my life. It started with looking for this love outside of me.  When these efforts proved fruitless, I sought this love in God which then brought me into myself.  I have diligently tended to the unhealed wounds and unacknowledged fears within me that have been blocking my ability to know the love that I am as a child of the Divine – all the while feeling and knowing the presence of “My Beloved” in this journey with me.

Doesn’t that sound lovely? I see/feel the experience of being adored.  It compels me on a profound journey of personal growth.  It helps to lead me in the direction of my life purpose.  But….the truth is that the journey of Beloved Partnership SUCKS!  It sucks BAD….and here’s why.

Think of it this way. How many people do you know who are happy and content in a “just ok” relationship because it feels safe, secure, known, etc.  Alternatively, how many people do you know who are happy just dating and sleeping around – enjoying the play of a casual relationship without any of the responsibility?  Beloved Partners cannot do any of these thing!  None of these paths have been an option for me and when I have tried, I have gotten my ass handed to me.  With the calling of a Beloved Partnership, I have learned I can be content with nothing but this.

Here then is the rub: For one called to Beloved Partnership, until that partnership is realized, there will always be a feeling of discontent, a deep feeling that there is something very wrong with our lives, and our Divine calling will not be completely fulfilled.  When the Divine calling is not fulfilled, we are left with a nagging feeling of frustration, impatience, even anger and resentment of that something that is missing from our lives.

Here is the other rub: there is literally NOTHING we can do about what is “wrong” with our lives.  Oh yes, there are all kinds of books and courses on how to “call in the one,” but in my experience none of these work.  Yes, we can prepare a space for our Beloved.  Yes, we can do the critical work of healing our woundedness and becoming whole within ourselves.  We can go out there and try on different relationship experiences.  But at the end of the day, the arrival of our Beloved, as it is Divine ordained, is simply a matter of Divine timing.  In the meantime, we are left with an aching pain of vacancy in the center of our Soul where the knowledge of our calling to Beloved Partnership resides, along with the pain of knowing that until we are united there will be a critical part of our Soul’s purpose that cannot be fulfilled.

While there is nothing we can do to make reunion with our Beloved happen, we can create a space in our lives by working on our own journey toward wholeness. My book, Happily Ever After, is one resource to help support you in this task. 

Click on image above to purchase on Amazon.com

 

 

Posted in Beloved Partnership, Divine Masculine

Welcoming the Divine Masculine

I am so honored and excited to be part of this on-going dialogue with Tom Clute.  Please join us in exploring the advent of the Divine Masculine!  Thank you Tom for your perspective and for accomplishing and embodying the Divine Masculine and for providing this model and example for all of us!  Click HERE to listen to the discussion.


 

 

 

 

 

“Towards an Ecology of We” 

 Thomas Clute, MSW

 Sacred Personhood Researcher and Explorer

 tomcluteconsulting@gmail.com

 

Posted in Beloved Partnership, happily ever after, Relationships

Dark Night of the Relationship

The Dark Night of a Relationship is an important stage in any long-standing, committed relationship.  This is a stage that no one tells us about, neither would we believe it could happen to us as we stand doe-eyed awaiting the celebratory nuptials.  The Dark Night of the Relationship is real, it is necessary and when committed and aware, some relationships will survive it. Some will not have the knowledge, patience, trust or stamina to survive.  And some will find after the stage of the Dark Night that the relationship should not continue and termination or divorce is a necessary and supportive option.  The following is my current best understanding of this necessary stage in a committed relationship.

1)  We meet someone and fall in love.  We see the other party and the relationship through the eyes of idealization.  One or both parties are still carrying around with them the unhealed wounds of their past and are probably looking for the other party to be their source of fulfillment and satisfaction, ie:  “you complete me.”

 

2)  One or both parties begin to feel restless and the blinders of the early stage of the relationship begin to fall away.  We begin to see each others’ wounds, strange behaviors, etc.  We enter into a stage of disillusionment, frustration maybe even anger.

couplefightingpixabay

3)  If we are open, we might realize that part of the source of frustration is our own unhealed wounds and we might begin to do the work of healing our old wounds and work toward the realization of our own deeper truth.  If we are lucky, our partner has a similar realization and begins to do their own work as well.   This is the stage in which one or both parties does the work of shedding the ego and the false self (the person they brought into the marriage) so that their true self can emerge.  The old self has to die so that the new self can be born.

4) At some stage in the process (whether or not both parties are working toward their own healing), the realization is made that the marriage or relationship is not what it used to be.  Both, or one party has now changed and the relationship has to change as well.  This is the dark night of the marriage.  The marriage that was (or the illusion of the marriage) has to die so that a new marriage can emerge.  The marriage based on the ego-filled self cannot survive the newly born self-realized individuals.  This stage, like any other death, is a time of grief, sorrow, bargaining, denial and rage.    NOTE:  This is an especially difficult stage if only one of the parties in the relationship are doing their work of self-actualization, especially when it is revealed that for the self-actualizing party, divorce is a life-giving and supportive choice.  Divorce in this stage is often met by resistance, surprise and anger on the part of the un-realized individual.

5) Now….here is the delicate part of this process.  If the couple steps into this stage of the process with open communication, patience, courage and faith, and enter into it with no attachment to outcome….the new life of the relationship may emerge.  Unfortunately, most people bail before even trying to take this step.  Now, the trickiest part to this stage is to accept the possibility that continuing in a committed relationship may no longer be in the highest good of the individual parties.  After the dark night of the marriage, after honest renegotiation of who we are as individuals and who we want to be as a couple, we might realize that staying in a committed relationship is no longer mutually supportive and life-giving.  At this point, the couple ends their commitment and move on as individuals from a place of loving acceptance and compassionate support of each other as they go along their individual journeys.  In this place, divorce can be a beautiful ritual of supportive release.

6) Some marriages, after completing the process of the dark night, may discover that it is in the highest good of both parties to remain as a committed couple and enter into the process of allowing a new marriage to emerge.  The old marriage has died and the couple allows themselves to be open to a new marriage.  In this stage, an attitude of openness and detachment are necessary.  We are not creating this new marriage on our own, but allowing the universe to present to us the kind of marriage that will be mutually supportive and life-giving.  We allow ourselves to be free of ego in allowing this new relationship to emerge.

 

If you are looking for support through the Dark Night of a Relationship, or looking to build a happier and healthier relationship after a breakup or divorce, check out my new book, Happily Ever After – the Transformational Journey from “you complete me” to Beloved Partnership, available in print and Kindle versions at Amazon.com.  (Click on image below to learn more).

Click on image above to purchase on Amazon.com
Click on image above to purchase on Amazon.com
Posted in codependency, happily ever after, Relationships

Happily Ever After: my latest book available now!

Buy it Now! 

Click on image above to purchase on Amazon.com
Click on image above to purchase on Amazon.com

Happily Ever After – the Transformational Journey from “You Complete Me” to Beloved Partnership presents a new model for intimate partnership along with the process for getting there. Happily Ever After recognizes that as long as we are looking outside of ourselves for completion our relationships are doomed to fail – supporting the belief that the healthy, fulfilling and enduring love we all long for is built upon the foundation of two individuals who are complete within themselves and who have chosen to come together as equals in mutual love and support.  Interdependence, rather than co-dependency is the goal of this book and the outcome of this process.

Through personal narrative, informative dialogue, poetry, mindfulness practices, and creativity exercises; you will be invited to deconstruct existing and former patterns of co-dependency while building the foundation upon which you can find happiness and fulfillment within while preparing for the possibility of healthy interdependency with another – what is here called beloved partnership.  Once you are complete within yourself, you will settle for nothing less.

 

From the book’s introduction:

If you asked me to describe in one phrase what this book is about, I would say, “Jerry Maguire lies.” This movie has provided the single most damaging phrase to our hope for intimate partnership – “You complete me.”  When we are looking outside of ourselves for someone else to complete us, we are indulging the compulsion of co-dependency. Co-dependency arises out of the false perception that love, satisfaction and fulfillment exist outside of us, causing us to seek in another that which we falsely believe we do not possess within ourselves.  Co-dependency tells us that love has to be earned or can be taken away resulting in behaviors that cause us either to be manipulative in our search for love or vulnerable to the manipulations of another. I would argue that co-dependency, along with unmanaged anxiety, are the two most common destroyers of intimate human relationships.

Jerry Maguire is not alone, however, in supporting the long-standing culture of co-dependency predominating the West. Traditional fairytales with their happily ever after endings are another common culprit.  While all too many have learned that happily ever after isn’t always so happy, traditional fairytales are still the foundational myths upon which we establish our hopes and dreams of intimate partnership.  The difficult truth is that as long as we are looking outside of ourselves for completion, or basing our hopes on fairytale dreams, our relationships are doomed to fail.  When we are looking outside of ourselves for someone to complete us, we will never truly be satisfied and will fail in our search for a fulfilling and enduring love.  The true source of fulfillment can only come from within.

Happily Ever After – the Transformational Journey from “You Complete Me” to Beloved Partnership is based on this premise and therefore presents a different model of intimate partnership. The healthy, fulfilling and enduring love we all long for is built upon the foundation of two individuals who are complete within themselves and who have chosen to come together as equals in mutual support.  Interdependence, rather than co-dependency is the goal of this book and of the process into which you will be invited.

couple-690765_1280

 

Testimonials from Course Participants:

I embarked on the journey of the “Happily Ever After” course, with the gifted and inspirational tour guide; Lauri Ann Lumby. This process of reflections, creative exercises and self discovery revealed the power we have within to discover our own true source of happiness, fulfillment and peace so that then we can create a foundation for a healthy, mutually loving and supportive partnership.  R. M. Oshkosh, WI

Lauri’s Happily Ever After course is an essential tool for emotional well-being. I’ve benefitted greatly by learning who I am, what my needs are, and how to prevent myself from falling back into unhealthy codependent relationships. Everyone can benefit from Lauri’s guidance. You’re going to learn so much about yourself along the way!”   K.B. Appleton, WI

I feel this course allowed me to bring even more awareness to the benefit of really being your own beloved first and foremost. With the thoughtful questions and exercises- building on chapter to chapter – it allowed patterns to be brought to the surface for awareness and healing. I also gained insight into what I am really looking for in a relationship and what I am about as a woman. This course also complimented a wonderful relationship I have with the utmost Beloved-God which only looks for what is in the best for my highest good. .No more settling!   L. J. Larsen, WI

lauricurtsie2Lauri Ann Lumby, OM, MATS has been known as mother, daughter, sister, friend, wife, lover, student, teacher, counselor, minister, healer, writer, poet, heretic, witch, professional shit-disturber, heretic, and blasphemer. After more than fifty years of asking the question, “Who am I?” Lauri has come to the realization that she is just plain Lauri, and that on any given day, she can be whomever she wants to be.  Lauri is the author of the Song of the Beloved – the Gospel According to Mary Magdalene, Returning – A Woman’s Midlife Journey to Herself, Authentic Freedom – Claiming a Life of Contentment and Joy and Christouch – a Christ-centered Approach to Energy Medicine through Hands-on Healing.   She is also the owner of Authentic Freedom Academy in Oshkosh, Wisconsin where she lives with her two amazing children.  You can learn more about Lauri, her professional services and workshops at www.authenticfreedomacademy.com.

Posted in Beloved Partnership

Coming Soon! “Happily Ever After”

Coming Soon! 

happilyeverafter-book-cover-small

Happily Ever After – the Transformational Journey from “You Complete Me” to Beloved Partnership presents a new model for intimate partnership along with the process for getting there. Happily Ever After recognizes that as long as we are looking outside of ourselves for completion our relationships are doomed to fail – supporting the belief that the healthy, fulfilling and enduring love we all long for is built upon the foundation of two individuals who are complete within themselves and who have chosen to come together as equals in mutual love and support.  Interdependence, rather than co-dependency is the goal of this book and the outcome of this process.

Through personal narrative, informative dialogue, poetry, mindfulness practices, and creativity exercises; you will be invited to deconstruct existing and former patterns of co-dependency while building the foundation upon which you can find happiness and fulfillment within while preparing for the possibility of healthy interdependency with another – what is here called beloved partnership.  Once you are complete within yourself, you will settle for nothing less.

 

Testimonials from Course Participants:

I embarked on the journey of the “Happily Ever After” course, with the gifted and inspirational tour guide; Lauri Ann Lumby. This process of reflections, creative exercises and self discovery revealed the power we have within to discover our own true source of happiness, fulfillment and peace so that then we can create a foundation for a healthy, mutually loving and supportive partnership.  R. M. Oshkosh, WI

Lauri’s Happily Ever After course is an essential tool for emotional well-being. I’ve benefitted greatly by learning who I am, what my needs are, and how to prevent myself from falling back into unhealthy codependent relationships. Everyone can benefit from Lauri’s guidance. You’re going to learn so much about yourself along the way!”   K.B. Appleton, WI

I feel this course allowed me to bring even more awareness to the benefit of really being your own beloved first and foremost. With the thoughtful questions and exercises- building on chapter to chapter – it allowed patterns to be brought to the surface for awareness and healing. I also gained insight into what I am really looking for in a relationship and what I am about as a woman. This course also complimented a wonderful relationship I have with the utmost Beloved-God which only looks for what is in the best for my highest good. .No more settling!   L. J. Larsen, WI

lauricurtsie2Lauri Ann Lumby, OM, MATS has been known as mother, daughter, sister, friend, wife, lover, student, teacher, counselor, minister, healer, writer, poet, heretic, witch, professional shit-disturber, heretic, and blasphemer. After more than fifty years of asking the question, “Who am I?” Lauri has come to the realization that she is just plain Lauri, and that on any given day, she can be whomever she wants to be.  Lauri is the author of the Song of the Beloved – the Gospel According to Mary Magdalene, Returning – A Woman’s Midlife Journey to Herself, Authentic Freedom – Claiming a Life of Contentment and Joy and Christouch – a Christ-centered Approach to Energy Medicine through Hands-on Healing.   She is also the owner of Authentic Freedom Academy in Oshkosh, Wisconsin where she lives with her two amazing children.  You can learn more about Lauri, her professional services and workshops at www.authenticfreedomacademy.com.

 

Posted in Relationships

Relationship E-course:

Happily Ever After – from “you complete me” to Beloved Partnership

E-Course – completely online

Happily Ever After seeks to transform our attitudes and behaviors related to intimate partnership and does so by transforming us from the inside out.  Integrating intellectual knowledge rooted in modern psychology with mindfulness-based practices and creative expression, Happily Ever After seeks to support us in achieving wholeness.  When we feel whole and complete within ourselves, we no longer look outside of ourselves for completion and if/when we find ourselves in partnership, our relationships are mutually satisfying, supportive and interdependent.

HappilyEverAFterFlier

 

To register for the course, click on the Paypal link below.  After payment is received, you will receive an invitation to join the private Facebook discussion group and lessons will begin arriving in your email on Sunday, November 15th!  We are excited for you to join us.  Welcome to the journey!

paypal

From the course introduction: 

If you asked me to describe in one phrase what this course is about, I would say, “Jerry Maguire lies.”  This movie has provided the single most damaging phrase to our hope for intimate partnership – “You complete me.”  When we are looking outside of ourselves for someone else to complete us, we are indulging the compulsion of co-dependency. Co-dependency arises out of the false perception that love, satisfaction and fulfillment exist outside of us which then causes us to seek in another that which we falsely believe we do not possess within ourselves.  Co-dependency tells us that love has to be earned or can be taken away which then results in behaviors that cause us either to be manipulative in our search for love or vulnerable to the manipulations of another. I would argue that co-dependency, along with unmanaged anxiety, are the two most common destroyers of intimate human relationships.

brokenopen

Testimonials from course participants:

  • I embarked on the journey of the “Happily Ever After” course, with the gifted and inspirational tour guide; Lauri Ann Lumby. This process of reflections, creative exercises and self discovery revealed the power we have within to discover our own true source of happiness, fulfillment and peace so that then we can create a foundation for a healthy, mutually loving and supportive partnership.  R. M. Oshkosh, WI
  • Lauri’s Happily Ever After course is an essential tool for emotional well-being. I’ve benefitted greatly by learning who I am, what my needs are, and how to prevent myself from falling back into unhealthy codependent relationships. Everyone can benefit from Lauri’s guidance. You’re going to learn so much about yourself along the way!”   K.B. Appleton, WI
  • I feel this course allowed me to bring even more awareness to the benefit of really being your own beloved first and foremost. With the thoughtful questions and exercises- building on chapter to chapter – it allowed patterns to be brought to the surface for awareness and healing. I also gained insight into what I am really looking for in a relationship and what I am about as a woman. This course also complimented a wonderful relationship I have with the utmost Beloved-God which only looks for what is in the best for my highest good. .No more settling!   L. J. Larsen, WI
  • As a teacher, Lauri gives her students a “long leash”, allowing the reader the opportunity to be creative in finding their own solutions, or perhaps a better phrase would be, to find peace in discovering their own wisdom.  M.P. Oshkosh, WI

Click on the Paypal button above to register for the course.  For course participants who want to take this work deeper, private sessions are available with Lauri Lumby at a 15% discount for the duration of the course.

 

Posted in Authentic Freedom

Authentic Freedom Updates – Sunday Service and Crowdfunding

Sunday Service Recording

In case you missed it, below is the link to this past Sunday’s spiritual service.  The theme this week was “Beloved Partnership,” exploring the kind of love we are intended to enjoy as human beings.  It might not be what you think!  🙂

Listen to the service HERE.

Crowdfunding Update! 

I am super excited and incredibly grateful for the donations that have already been made toward our house-buying campaign, “Help Us Buy Our Home!”    With very little effort, $1800.00 have already been raised toward our final goal of $110,000.  Thank you to those who have already contributed and thank you to those who are yet to contribute.  We also welcome your help.  Go to the home page of our campaign HERE , cut and paste the link and post on your social networking sites:  Facebook, Twitter, Link’d In, etc.  along with a quick note about how Authentic Freedom Academy and our services have benefitted you and why you believe this is a worthy cause.  As my friend Ted says, “Please and Thank you!”  Now for a visual on the update:

CrowdfundingGoals