Posted in Being Human, Empowerment, Initiation, Lessons, self-actualization, Spiritual Formation, Spiritual Practices, temptation

What We Do in the Shadows

In response to Monday’s blog, You Can Run But You Can’t Hide, Dennis Fuhr, a frequent commenter on this blog shared some profound observations and questions:

Your piece has led me to think a little more about the darkness, the shadows. One the one hand there is deep, impenetrable darkness alluded to in the parable of the eye being the lamp of the body. On the other hand, there seems to be a redemptive kind of darkness. It has a richness about it, almost a quieting feeling. We are forced to abandon our fretful, thrashing-about state and thereby regain some of our energy simply by being in a somewhat anesthetized mode.

Just as I have never thought about the shadows in the way that you mentioned, so I have not thought about darkness as having any redeeming qualities. Either you are in the light or not. There has been no middle ground, so to speak.

My final thought is that even the darkness that may seem to be so definitive for us, God’s grace and Presence can penetrate in ways that we do not fully understand. The shadows seem to be so real and discouraging yet God, who is all in all, has it covered.

 

First of all, thank you Dennis for speaking what we all long to know: What is this shadow world about anyway and what are we to do with it?

As you suggest, we cannot have light without darkness, brilliance without its shadow. As you also observe, for many (if not most) of us, we judge the darkness as “bad” and place it in direct opposition with the light.

But as the Psalmist once said:

In you, darkness and light are but one (Psalm 139)

We are the ones who judge the darkness as “bad,” forgetting, as you point out, the redemptive quality of darkness. As the sunflower full-well knows, the germinating seed is strengthened by its journey through the darkness – first by breaking through the shell of the seed, then finding its way through the density of the earth.  The plant needs the resistance of the seed and then the soil so that it might become strong, becoming what it was meant to be.

The same can be said for each of us. It is through the challenges, darkness, difficulties, losses, betrayals, disappointments of our lives where we have the opportunity to find our strength.  Without the challenges, we would never grow.  As one of my teachers once said, “When we stop growing we die.”  Amen sister amen!

As I understand it, from the perspective of the Divine, there is no judgment – no good or bad, light or dark. Everything simply “is” and as it is, it serves the purpose of our spiritual evolution.  In our early stages of development, we perceive the “darkness” as an obstacle, we feel victimized, we allow the perceived darkness to cause us suffering, and if we are able we either run from the darkness or ignore/repress it and then it comes out sideways in our compulsive, non-loving behaviors.

As we awaken and move through our spiritual development, we come to understand what the “darkness” is simply another aspect of the light. Instead of running from it, we face it head on – recognizing in its appearance another opportunity for growth.  “Thank you sir, may I have another!?”

What all of this means is that we decide. We decide what to do with the challenges that come forth in our lives.  We decide what to do with the lost, suppressed, ignored, hidden rejected aspects of ourselves that want to come into the light.  We decide if we allow the perceived darkness to destroy us or to serve as simply another tool in our journey toward (as you said) redemption.  Salvation comes when we are able to find love in the midst of the now – no matter how that “now” might appear. In order to do this we have to be willing to go into our shadows, dive into the depths, confront and be with our fears.  As every true master has shown us, the only way we can find our light is to learn how to be with our dark and in this we learn that our dark is not dark after all.

If you are interested in learning more about working with your own shadow, Lauri is available for one-on-one consulting/coaching.  Email lauri@authenticfreedom.love to schedule your own private session today. 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Discernment, Inspiration, Lessons, Spiritual Practices, teachers, temptation

“Satan’s” Impeccable Timing

Lessons on confronting the adversary…

 

Saturday morning I was reminded that Satan is real. “He” showed up on my doorstep in the person condemning me to hell for, in so many words, being a witch.  I’m not talking about the anthropomorphic white guy in the red morph suit sporting horns on his head and wielding a pitch fork while threatening the unbaptized with an eternity in hell, or worse – demonic possession.  I’m talking about the REAL Satan…..the one that dwells within each of us and which often gets projected outside of us in persons and experiences that remind us of where we have forgotten we are love.

Since I can no longer believe in a place called hell and I suspect what the ancients called possession was nothing more than medical conditions they did not yet understand and could not control…the only Satan I can believe in is the one who dwells within. Our Jewish ancestors would agree.  Satan is a Hebrew word after all and it means adversary – specifically, the adversary within – that which tempts us away from our original nature which is love.  The adversary shows up as we are drawing closer to the path of our Soul, to “God’s will” for us, and every time we take a step toward our Divine calling.  The adversary shows up to challenge us: “Are you sure about this? Are you really committed to following your Divine calling and the path of meaning and fulfillment that you were born to accomplish? Are you truly committed to being the Love that God is calling you to be?”

So when Satan showed up on my doorstep via email Saturday morning, I was not surprised. In fact, I should have been expecting him and had some coffee and cookies out waiting for him. For you see…..I have recently taken ENORMOUS steps closer to my Soul’s calling.  I said yes to the Divine invitation to simplify my life and recently completed a physical move which required the letting go, not only of physical possessions, but the letting go of my home office and classroom, the life I had been living for the past 6 (or maybe 20) years and all the titles, associations, plans, contrivances, etc. etc. etc. I had created around that life.  I had to be done making plans and simply enter into the void allowing the Universe to carry me…..which it has.  I had to let it all go so I could be open to SOMETHING AMAZING I GUESS…..that I don’t yet know and hasn’t yet been manifest.  Though there have been glimpses:

Our new home.  To say I love it would be an understatement.  A home that I came by in a magical way (as I always do) and which even more perfectly fits my vibe, my energy, my wants, needs and desires than the place we had been living.  It is a place that reflects my heart and I could not be more thrilled. (and my kids like it too).

A side gig. In the midst of this transition and literally in the middle of the move, an opportunity for a side-gig showed up. As a “friend of the millennials” it makes perfect sense that I have an opportunity to live as they live……one job among many so they/we can do their/our passion. Enter…..side gig….one with the potential for further involvement using my truest gifts.

A new book. What would a crisis be in the life of Lauri Lumby without a book coming out of it? I was as surprised as my readers to see another book coming forth ready for publishing.  Available NOW on Amazon!!!!!

A secret. Another development which I will keep close to my heart. I’ll just say that if this is what I think it might be, it would be the fulfillment of a lifelong dream and something I have worked very hard toward accomplishing/receiving.  (cue Disney)

With all of this, of course Satan showed up at my front door. As always, his timing is impeccable.  He showed up to challenge me.  He showed up triggering unhealed wounds.  He showed up to test my resolve.  He showed up hoping to make me afraid so that I might quit “the evil” work I am doing in the world.  And I did what the REAL Satan calls us to do….I met him toe to toe, eye to eye, heart to heart.  Yes Satan, I see you.  And YES I am sure about the LOVE I am doing in the world.  And your fear will not stop me.  Thank you for showing up and telling me how truly magnificent the things that are unfolding in my life.  The fact that you are here tells me that something amazing is already happening.  Thank you.

 

 

Posted in Authentic Freedom, church, Inspiration, Jesus, Lessons, Mary Magdalene, Mystics, Oneness with God, Raised Catholic, temptation

A Witch! A Witch!

Responding to the Catholic self-appointed inquisition.

Just when I think I am off their radar and free of the wrath of the Catholic self-appointed inquisition, they rear their fearful head. This morning as I was enjoying a glimpse of the new and expansive opportunities that are coming my way, not the least of which is the pending release of my new book – Union – a year of spiritual lessons and practices with Mary Magdalene, this shows up in my email.  Not one….but two emails from the same individual spewing their wrath:

You wicked evil christian. You thought you could deceive me and lead me to believe you really discern spirits when in fact you said it led you to practice Reiki, an occult practice forbidden for Catholics.

The Lord rebuke you. It sickens me you practice Reiki.

Your charism is not from God. The occult practices indicate otherwise. What I don’t understand is why mix catholicism with the occult?

Even if you have the charism, I know you are not in the truth because you are an occult practioner who is doing what is forbidden by Catholic practice. What happened to you…

I’m really saddened to see that you practice the occult because if you really do have the charism of discernment, The Church and people really do need it and not mixed with occult practices…

Normally, I would not give any energy or attention to emails such as these, but today, I find myself particularly annoyed, not because of their words, but because of the larger message behind these words which is:

If you are a woman who happens to be doing the work that Jesus did, you are evil, wicked, doing the work of Satan and condemnable as a witch.

As it relates to being a witch, I wear that mantle proudly for to me being a witch means:

  • Dedicating my life in service to the Divine and in support of the betterment of our world.
  • Emptying myself so as to be a vessel through which the Divine might be known in our world through my own unique gifts.
  • Allowing the Divine to work through my spiritual gifts of discernment, teaching, encouragement, leadership, pastoring, prophecy and healing to transform our world from fear into love.
  • Engaging in ritual practices for the purpose of concretizing my commitment to God which then act as efficacious signs of grace…by which divine life is dispensed to us (ref. Catholic Encyclopedia).
  • Strengthening my commitment to God and to the mission of love through daily meditation, contemplation and prayer.
  • Being of service to others as a source of love in all things.

I see none of what I do as contrary to the Christian message, most especially as this message was modeled by Christ. Jesus taught.  He prophesied.  He counseled. He meditated and prayed. He performed ritual.  He led.  He pastored.  He laid on hands for the purpose of healing, expelling demons (fears) and to empower those he taught to do what he had done.

It wasn’t only men whom Jesus empowered to continue his work. The FIRST ordained to continue Jesus’ work was Mary Magdalene (John 20), and she was a woman!  Sadly, the early response to Mary Magdalene’s role as successor to Jesus was ridicule, condemnation and slander.  She immediately went from being Jesus’ co-equal partner, the one who first saw the risen Christ and the one sent forth to share the good news, to adulterous woman, prostitute, whore….in other words….a witch.  What happened to Mary Magdalene two hundred centuries ago has been the burden inflicted upon all women thereafter who have attempted to do what Jesus did and be whom he called them to be.  The message has been clear:

If you are woman called to do the work of Christ, you are not welcome and we will enforce this ban by calling you a witch, a heretic, a whore, a blasphemer, who does this work in the company of Satan.

While it would be easy for me to get on my feminist bandwagon, I find here that I cannot as these accusations of being in the company of Satan go beyond gender. In fact these are the exact same accusations heaped upon Jesus by the self-appointed inquisition of his own time:

When Jesus had driven out a demon, some of the crowd said: “By the power of Beelzebul, the prince of demons, he drives out demons.” Others, to test him, asked him for a sign from heaven. But he knew their thoughts and said to them, “Every kingdom divided against itself will be laid waste and house will fall against house. And if Satan is divided against himself, how will his kingdom stand? For you say that it is by Beelzebul that I drive out demons. If I, then, drive out demons by Beelzebul, by whom do your own people drive them out? Therefore they will be your judges. But if it is by the finger of God that I drive out demons, then the Kingdom of God has come upon you. When a strong man fully armed guards his palace, his possessions are safe.

But when one stronger than he attacks and overcomes him, he takes away the armor on which he relied and distributes the spoils. Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.

Luke 11: 15-26

 

Apparently ANYONE who tries to do the work that Jesus did is vulnerable to condemnation. When I pierce through the veil of these accusations I see one thing:

Fear – specifically, the human fear of that which is outside of our control.

Catholic (and most religious) doctrine, wraps life up in a tight little ball. We are told what to believe, what not to believe, what is good and what is evil. Theologians might have the freedom to argue about these beliefs, but the common person sitting in the pew is expected to believe without question. For many, believing without question provides the perceived surety they crave in an otherwise unsure world. The problem is that life CANNOT be wrapped up in a tight little ball for us to control. The truth is there is very little we truly know and even less that we can control. Those who have been called beyond these tightly defined parameters, who are comfortable in the world of the unknown, where life embodies many shades of grey and where freedom is found in ambiguity become a threat to those who cling to the illusion of surety. To the latter, it is easy to think of the former as evil as our presence stirs their fears and the unhealed wounds that cause them to cling to what they think they know. Witches….shit-disturbers, we might be one and the same. J

While my initial response to the emails above was annoyance and my second response was hurt, I can now sit in the compassion of understanding the fears that caused this person to lash out in this way. I am sorry for the unhealed fears that cause them to seek after surety. I am sorry for the fact that my presence has triggered these fears. But even more so I am sorry that they chose not to use the tools that Jesus gave them to heal those fears so that instead of finding separation, they might have found the love that unites us both. In this, there are no witches, there is no inquisition, there are only human beings trying to find peace in an otherwise fearful world.

 

 

Posted in Authentic Freedom, Boundaries, Inspiration, Lessons, Oneness with God, Spiritual Practices, teachers, temptation

Confronting the Adversary

Depriving the Devil of His Power

Today’s teaching is about how to handle the “Devil” when he comes to call.  Here I will use a recent personal experience to illustrate how to confront the adversary, thereby depriving him of his power while restoring ourselves to our natural state of peace.  

When I mention the devil, I’m not referring to the dude in the red tights with horns and a pitchfork. Here I’m speaking about Satan, the name used in scripture to represent the inner adversary – the energy within us that comes forth in our lives to tempt us away from the path of our truth and who does so through our ego attachments, unhealed wounds and unacknowledged fears. Satan most often shows up within us in our fears, self-doubts and insecurities, but because we are One, Satan sometimes shows up through the actions of another who plays the role of the Adversary so as to show us what is in need of healing within us.

The Adversary can show up at any time in our lives, but “he” shows up more forcefully as we are preparing to or are in the midst of stepping more fully into our truth. The closer we get to our truth and to fulfilling the Divine purpose for our lives, the harder the Adversary works against us.  In this regard, the Adversary is something to be welcomed as he is in fact signaling that we are on the right path and he is giving us the opportunity to strengthen our resolve and grow in resiliency.  In this sense, the Adversary is our friend because he gives us an opportunity to see him for who he is, identify the inner fear that he is triggering within us and then move through and heal those fears so that we are even more free to live out our Divine purpose. In the personal experience of the Adversary that I am about to share, I have decided to receive him as a friend, as a sign that I am on the right path and in this I can thank him for reflecting back to me the fears that are still in need of healing as I move forward in my path.

Here’s how my experience of the Adversary showed up to me this morning:

As I mentioned earlier this week, I have entered into a professional collaboration with Kayla Burger of DesignLife. She recently featured some of my work in her video blog on anxiety, depression and panic attacks.  Kayla and I have arrived at a similar approach to dealing with these conditions in our own lives and have generously shared this approach with others as a complement to traditional methods of treatment.

In response to this video blog and my sharing of it, the following comment was posted:

Kayla was kind enough to delete the post, recognizing it as evidence of spite. She then shared the information with me and I immediately knew from whom the comment originated. My first reaction was to feel hurt.  Then I felt angry.  I chose not to reach out to the individual who wrote the comment as I knew it wouldn’t do any good.  While I know I did nothing wrong, they have formed their opinion.  I have hundreds of satisfied students and clients, and the opinion of one has no bearing on the experience of hundreds. Furthermore, I strongly believe that the truth stands on its own and wins out in the end.

In spite of deciding all of this, I still felt disturbed so I put my own tools into practice, recognizing this comment as the work of the Adversary. The timing of the Adversary’s arrival is quite interesting as Confronting the Adversary was the very topic of my Order of Melchizedek training course yesterday.  Also interesting is that the past week has been a huge time of expansion for me with the collaboration with DesignLife, the Feast of the Magdalene Summit and the upcoming Wild Woman Renaissance Summit that I will participate in on August 1st.  Expansion.  Expansion.  Expansion.  No wonder the Devil came a callin’!

In choosing to post these comments on Kayla’s site, this person played the role of the Adversary – triggering and reflecting back to me the fears that are not yet healed in me – the fear of rejection, or being seen as a fraud – both reflective of my own personal need to be seen as good, helpful and loveable. In spewing their wrath, this person has unwittingly helped me to see my unhealed fears and has provided me with an opportunity to do the work I know how to do to bring healing and release to these fears. They also helped me to see that I am indeed on the right path or the Adversary wouldn’t have shown up so forcefully.  Applying all I know about the Adversary I am now restored to peace and in this, I actually find myself grateful for the person who posted these comments on Kayla’s site.

Thank you dear friend for accepting the calling of the Adversary and in doing so, helping me to recognize and heal some fears. Know that I am grateful and as I am accepting the task of healing that you have set before me, I am holding you in love.  I wish you peace.

 

 

Posted in Authentic Freedom, Empowerment, Healing, Initiation, Lessons, temptation

When the Devil Comes to Call

 The closer we move toward our Soul’s purpose, the harder the “devil” works against us. I don’t mean the dude in the red tights with horns carrying a pitchfork who is really the Christian appropriation and demonizing of the pagan fertility god.  I mean the “devil” that resides within all of us.  Another name for this devil is the ego or false self.  Or as identified by our Hebrew ancestors – satan, meaning inner adversary, or from the Latin Lucifer, meaning light-bearer.

There is great wisdom in acknowledging this inner adversary as a light-bearer, as it is most often in our darkness where we discover our light. That is, when we have the courage to face the darkness and be present with and in it so that the light can be revealed.  For the devil isn’t here to tempt us, though tempted we will be, the devil is here to help us grow.

Robert E. Place, "Gnostic Tarot of the Saints"
Robert E. Place, “Gnostic Tarot of the Saints”

Growth doesn’t come without challenge or pain. Ask the sunflower or the oak tree what obstacles they had to move through becoming their most fulfilled and fruitful self.  The same is true for us.  When we awaken from our human slumber and realize that the things “out there” are not providing us with fulfillment, peace or joy, we turn our gaze inward.  As we turn that gaze within, we discover all kinds of unhealed wounds from our past, unacknowledged fears, unrealized dreams.  If we are courageous, (or if life leaves us with no other option) we then embark upon the deep soul work of bringing all these areas of inner darkness to the light so that they can be healed and transformed, finding within this transformation the treasure in the darkness.  This is what brings us toward our soul’s purpose and the life of meaning and fulfillment that we all long for and that our Soul intends for us to experience in this human experiment.  It is ultimately the Soul’s longing to be fulfilled that brings us to this task.

The “devil” in this journey is the inner vehicle that brings all of our fears and unhealed wounds to light. It is our job to recognize these fears as they arise and take responsibility for these fears. Most often, these fears arise in us due to outside triggers.  Something or someone shows up in our path reflecting our fears.  Maybe it is the stack of unpaid bills on your desk.  Maybe it is someone seemingly accomplishing something you wish you could do.  Perhaps it shows up in an infringement of boundaries, or in the form of rejection.  However it shows up, we can know an unhealed wound or unacknowledged fear has been triggered by the reaction we experience in our bodies.  Perhaps the hair stands up on the back of your neck, or your belly constricts, or you feel the hot pain of rage boiling up in you.

Whatever that inner reaction might be….DO NOT ACT. Instead, recognize it for what it is – the devil, Lucifer – showing up to reveal to you your unhealed fears.

Then….NAME the fear for what it is – fear of lack, fear of your own insignificance, fear of powerlessness, fear of not being loved, fear of not being able to express your truth, fear of not knowing your truth, fear of being alone. NAME the demon, and it no longer has power over you.

LOVE that fear. Sit in the discomfort of the fear.  Hold it in love.  In being with it and holding it, the fear gets what it has always needed, to be acknowledged and loved.  And then the fear is transformed and we are now free of that face of our fear.

THANK the fear. Thank Lucifer, the devil, satan, the ego, the false-self, whatever you want to call it, for helping you to grow and helping you to take one step closer to the life you came here to enjoy – one of contentment, joy, fulfillment and love.

 

 

 

 

Posted in Authentic Freedom, Jesus, temptation, The Seven Deadly Compulsions

Tempted to Misuse or Hide our Greatness

In anticipation of Ash Wednesday and the upcoming journey of Lent, I am sharing a copy of this week’s Authentic Freedom Empowerment Newsletter. If you find this to be a supportive and inspiring resource for your own journey of self-development, consider subscribing.  For only $20.00 per month, you receive a weekly resource for supporting your journey toward wholeness.  If you are interested, subscribe HERE. 

Authentic Freedom Academy

Weekly Empowerment Newsletter

Jesustempted by the devil

February 14, 2016. First Sunday in Lent

Filled with the Holy Spirit, Jesus returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit into the desert for forty days, to be tempted by the devil. He ate nothing during those days, and when they were over he was hungry. The devil said to him, “If you are the Son of God, command this stone to become bread.” Jesus answered him, “It is written, One does not live on bread alone.” Then he took him up and showed him all the kingdoms of the world in a single instant. The devil said to him, “I shall give to you all this power and glory; for it has been handed over to me, and I may give it to whomever I wish. All this will be yours, if you worship me.” Jesus said to him in reply, “It is written: You shall worship the Lord, your God, and him alone shall you serve.” Then he led him to Jerusalem, made him stand on the parapet of the temple, and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down from here, for it is written: He will command his angels concerning you, to guard you, and: With their hands they will support you, lest you dash your foot against a stone.” Jesus said to him in reply, “It also says, You shall not put the Lord, your God, to the test.” When the devil had finished every temptation, he departed from him for a time.

Luke 4: 1-13

 

Additional Readings:

Dt 26: 4-10

Ps 91: 1-2, 10-15

Rom 10: 8-13

 

First Sunday of Lent – Temptation

This Sunday’s gospel is the familiar story of Jesus’ temptation in the desert. What is often forgotten in the telling of this story is that the temptation in the desert takes place immediately following Jesus’ baptism through which Jesus was fully awakened to his Diving calling and the gifts that he had been given to live out that call:

“You are my beloved son, and with you I am well pleased.”

How did Jesus respond to these words? The translation from Luke’s gospel says that Jesus was led to the desert. In Mark’s gospel, “he fled.” I tend to believe it was more the latter than the former. How would you feel if a voice came out of the sky and announced your magnificence and the Divine calling (responsibility) that went along with that magnificence?

The truth is that like Jesus, we more frequently run from our gifts and our Divine calling than toward them. If we are wise, as Jesus was, we acknowledge the fear that arises in the face of our calling, and then we take the time to figure out what the Divine calling means for us and how we are being called to use our gifts.

And like Jesus, we will be tempted. Specifically, we will be tempted to abuse the powers that we have been given for the sake of our own pride and vanity, than how they are meant to be used which is in service to the Divine and for the benefit of others.

Our job is to hear the call as it arises within us from God, to take time out to discern how we are being invited to live that out and to then face the inner voices that will tempt us to ignore or deny our gifts, or alternatively, to use our gifts for our own vainglory instead of for the honor of the Divine and for the benefit of others.

How have you been tempted to either ignore/deny your Divine calling and the use of your gifts?

When have you been tempted to use your gifts for the sake of your own pride, fame, wealth, power, etc. instead of for the sake of others?

 

Spiritual Practice:

You are invited to spend time with this week’s scripture using the practice of Imagination/Contemplation, or as I like to call it, “Daydreaming as Prayer.”

  1. Read through the scripture passage slowly and prayerfully, looking for a character that stands out to you. Perhaps it is Jesus, Satan, an unnamed observer or even an inanimate object.
  2. After you have chosen your character (or object), re-read the story from their perspective.
  3. Then, using your imagination, place yourself within the narrative as the character of your choosing. Imagine the story unfolding in your mind as if you are that character. Imagine every detail – what you are wearing, what the weather is like, the scene around you, the time of day. Envision the landscape and the other characters in the story in detail. Do not censor anything that comes up for you in the imagining of the story. Allow it to go where it needs to go.
  4. As the story is unfolding in your imagination, pay attention to the thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc. that are arising in you as the story is unfolding.
  5. After the story has come to its natural conclusion in your mind, write it down. Record all that took place, being open to additional details which may emerge in your writing. Again, do not censor anything that comes up for you.
  6. After you have written your story, read it. As you are reading, reflect on how the story, as it unfolded in your imagination, is reflective of something going on in your own journey? As what your higher self might be communicating to you in the way this story unfolded in your imagination.

 

 

Authentic Freedom

In this Sunday’s gospel, Jesus was tempted by three of the deadly compulsions of the Authentic Freedom protocol:

Gluttony

Lust (for power)

Pride

As the inner adversary (Satan) tempted Jesus with these worldly measurements of power and success, Jesus was able to turn away from them because he recognized the inner fears that might cause him to use his powers for his own sake instead of in honor of God and for the benefit of the world, he then found a way to move through those fears.

How and where have you been tempted by worldly measures of power and success? How might you employ Authentic Freedom to help you overcome these temptations when they arise in the future?

If you found this to be meaningful, consider subscribing to the weekly Authentic Freedom Empowerment Newsletter.  For only $20.00 per month.  Subscribe HERE. 

Posted in Discernment, End of the World Prophecies, temptation, world changes

Building the New World – Nay to the Naysayers!

So, how did you fare through the past week’s Heave-Ho into the new world? If your week was anything like mine, you experienced both the heights of ecstasy along with the depths of despair. While many were hopeful for an immediate entry into, and experience of, the new world, most of us were either disappointed and/or caught unaware by the backlash that often comes with periods of rapid delivery.

There can be no doubt about it – with the conclusion of the full blood moon lunar eclipse and the culmination of Wave X, WE ARE CHANGED. We have indeed crossed the threshold from 3D (separation consciousness) into 5D (unity consciousness). The challenge, however, for most, is that (as we often forget), when we make such enormous leaps toward God(oneness), the small self fights back and the trickster raises its ugly (only when we judge it as such) head. The trickster/small self shows up to challenge us, “Are you sure this is what you really want? Wouldn’t you be more comfortable staying where you are with the fears and compulsions with which you have become so familiar?????” And then, trickster shows up AS these compulsions.

Fear. Judgment. Self-doubt. Self-loathing. Anxiety. Depression. Envy. Rage.

For me, this is exactly how the trickster showed up, in dramatic contrast to the TRUE miracles that unfolded in the past week: – VERY generous donations to the house-buying campaign; miracles happening in the lives of every one of my clients, students, readers; witnessing the true growth of my business; fantastic insights and personal growth in the “Create As Love” course I’m taking with Lauren Gorgo; a shamanic journey that showed me the TRUTH of our ONENESS with God (more on this later). These were the miracles.

Then the trickster showed up in: worries about money; self-doubt and bargaining; computer glitches that made me step aside from technology for a few days; and the biggest trickster of all – NAY-SAYERS. One after another after another person showed up questioning, challenging, doubting, staring blankly in the face of my vision, mission, and the decisions I’ve made in order to uphold the vision that is planted in my heart. Most pointedly, trickster showing up telling me all the ways I’ve done it WRONG and that perhaps I should throw in the towel and get “a real” job. Hah – that old story!!

The trickster, showing up in the bodies of others, but ultimately reflecting back to me my own:

Fear. Judgment. Self-doubt. Self-loathing. Anxiety.

But you see, I KNOW what I am here to do. I KNOW my mission and purpose in this life. I KNOW I’m damn good at what I do. AND every time I think about or even try to “get a real job” the Universe puts up one obstacle after another and then plunges me into the depths of desolation (which Ignatius of Loyola recognized as the energy of the adversary). Indeed, in order to accomplish this mission, I have had to do things in a very non-3D way – taking great leaps of faith and going against societal, financial, tribal “shoulds” in order to support this mission. To one with 3D (fearful) eyes, the choices I have made might look strange, if not a little insane. To 5D (oneness) eyes, there is no judgment – only what had to be done in a fearful world to help bring forth a new world of LOVE. In order to bring forth the “unconventional” world of love, unconventional tactics have had to be employed.

So, the trickster showed up to give me an opportunity to retreat into my small-self (fear), or strengthen my resolve in the mission of my Soul.

angeldevilpaxabay

If you are reading this blog, you too have been gifted with the same idea of a mission and purpose for you in this life. Likely, you feel deep in your heart a desire to help BRING ABOUT A NEW WORLD. You have grown tired of a world ruled by fear, power and control. You are exhausted by all the things in the world that cause us to do harm to ourselves and to one another. You are frustrated and tired of the struggle that the majority of humanity faces just to put food on their tables and a roof over their head. You long for a different kind of world:

  • A world in which people are loving toward themselves and toward one another.
  • A world in which the needs for food, clothing, shelter, education and healthcare are satisfied for all.
  • A world in which people are acknowledged for their own unique giftedness and then nurtured and empowered in the use of these gifts because we know that the world becomes a better place when all are fulfilled in their gifts and empowered to use them.
  • A world where all people are treated with dignity and respect and where we honor each other in our respective beliefs and the choices we make that fulfill the deeper longing in our hearts.
  • A world where violence is rare and peaceful collaboration and cooperation are the rule.
  • A world where love rules and where fear is recognized as a cry for help and appropriate healing methods employed.

This is the world that you came to help humanity build. You too have been told you were crazy for dreaming dreams of a better world and for wanting to do something about it. The good news is that you are not alone and that WE have now reached critical mass and our voices, while still somewhat quiet, are becoming the majority, if they weren’t already. We long for a NEW WORLD built on love and one that seeks to HEAL the fear that has kept us imprisoned for 10,000 years!

So, if the nay-sayers show up in your life as you are in the midst of entertaining or working for your dreams – recognize them for who they are – your small self trying to remain small and showing up in both people outside of you and in all the voices in your head that say, “You can’t do that,” and then make a choice. Choose to stay small and afraid, or heed the voice of your SOUL that says, “YOU ARE SO BIG because you are made of LOVE and love is infinite.” And then PLEASE be your BIG self, because the WORLD NEEDS YOU!

 

Posted in Authentic Freedom, Authentic Freedom Academy, Being Human, Empowerment, Lessons, mental illness, teachers, temptation

Panic Attacks – the Devil Inside (Part I)

Panic Attacks – the Devil Inside (Part I)

On Saturday, June 13th I had three full-blown panic attacks, the third so debilitating I was not able to drive myself and my son home from a shopping trip 30 miles from home.  As I mentioned in my blog on Monday, panic attacks suck…..or do they?  What if panic attacks are not here to harm or torture us, but are instead, here to teach us?  What if instead of judging them as harmful, rushing off to medicate them, or wanting to push them away, we welcomed them closer and allowed them to be our teacher?  What, you might ask, could a panic attack teach us other than, “life sucks and then you die?”  Let’s find out… 

panic

There is always more to the story…

As much as I hate having panic attacks, and they are terrifying while they are happening and every moment in between, for me, and I suspect many others who experience anxiety, depression and panic attacks (note:  the three are closely related), there is always more to the story.  Panic attacks don’t simply show up out of nowhere (though they sure seem like they do).  They always have deeper roots.  As I sat in the fog of the post-panic, post-Xanax hangover, I had ample opportunity to sort through all the potential precursors of panic (while trying not to get too much into old patterns of self-deprecation and negative self-judgment of thinking I did something wrong to bring on this panic and that there must be something wrong with me…).  In the search, I discovered there was a litany of potential “causes”:

Wine – ugh!  One tiny glass of wine the evening before (and as I noted had happened before every panic attack or near-panic I’ve had).  Wine=yeast=triggering my candida allergy.  Apparently there is a tie between candida and panic.  SIGH.  No more wine for me.

Keeping a lid on it!  Tending to a friend who received a medical treatment.  Helping another friend who received a cancer diagnosis.  Being present with a friend whose mother recently passed.  Lots of travel.  And just life in general.  Lots to carry.  Lots to hold.  Throw in some good old fashioned money fears…and….NOT TAKING CARE OF MYSELF in the midst of it all!  TONS of emotions were bottled up in me that needed to find a way out…..and boy did they!  (And let’s not forget the link between panic and past, unresolved trauma!)

STEPPING INTO MY GREATNESS!  The week leading up to the panic attack was a HUGE week for me.  I stepped into my new venture as Authentic Freedom Academy.  I put AFA out into the world.  I formed an affiliate program and sent out invites.  I completed the most recent Resurrecting the Magdalene course and ordained (yes, I said “ORDAINED!”) four women into The Order of the Magdalene/Christ. I received an important message about my beloved partner.  And finally…..through the support of some shamanic journey work, I rediscovered some very ancient methods of manifestation (ie: magic) and for bringing the new world into being.  Hint: “The Law of Attraction” is OUT (truth be told, it was never in for me anyway…more on that later).

Gethsemane

The link between panic and POWER

As much as we don’t want to admit it, there IS a link between panic and STANDING IN OUR POWER.  The way I understand it, the link between panic and power is two-fold:

Ignoring the voice of our Soul:

First, panic (and its precursor – anxiety) arises when we ignore, silence, suppress and repress our POWER, our truth, our gifts, our call, our purpose and our passions.  When we ignore the voice of our SOUL is will do everything in its power to get our attention.  The more we ignore the voice of the SOUL, the harder it works, sometimes having to resort to desperate measures to get our attention – even if it means panic.  This has definitely been the case for me.  When the truth is in my face again and again and again and I choose to ignore it, panic steps in.

Stepping into our power:

Panic attacks can also arise as a form of temptation.  The closer we get to our Soul’s purpose, God’s call for us in our life, the path of our highest Self, the harder the ego works to thwart us on our path.  Our Soul longs to be free – to have a life of fulfillment, expansiveness, meaning, peacefulness and love.  The ego wants SAME, status quo, what is old and familiar.  Think of Jesus in the desert and Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.  In both instances, Jesus did battle with “Satan” over the path before him.  Heed the voice of fear and make himself equal to God (as was the discussion in the desert) or heed the voice of fear and recant his truth (that he was One with God but not necessarily equal)?  The ego does not want us to enjoy the path of our Soul or to embrace our gifts or our true power.  Instead, the ego wants us to remain small, in a place and situation that is familiar.  Toward that end, the ego will resort to all sorts of ministrations to keep us from our power – even panic attacks if it needs to.

Power and panic in proportion

I can think of two situations in particular (this weekend included) where a powerful moment of stepping into my power presented itself and panic stepped in.  In both situations, and army of support presented itself and I eventually figured out the true source of the panic – not in something I had done wrong, but in something I had done right!  Talk about empowering.  It is interesting to me to note that the degree to which we are stepping into our power is equal to the degree to which the ego fights to keep us from it.  From the degree of the panic attacks I experienced this weekend, I’m guessing I’m getting pretty dang close to the purpose of my soul and to the root of my true power.  How about you?

Stay tuned Panic Attacks, the Devil Inside Part II where we will learn how to embrace temptation (ie: panic attacks) as our teacher instead of our tormentor.

Authentic Freedom Academy provides resources and support for those wishing to heed the voice of their Soul – for those who know they are here for a reason, who want to know what that reason is, and who wish to contribute to the betterment of themselves and the world through their own unique giftedness.  Call (920) 230-1313 or email lauri@autheticfreedomacademy.com to learn more.

Posted in Being Human, Oneness with God, temptation, the bible, women, world changes

Eve Speaks – Reclaiming the Feminine Perspective Part II

As we celebrate the full moon in Virgo and the full revelation of the Divine Feminine and ushering in the rebirth of the Divine Masculine, it is time for the feminine heroes of salvation history to speak.  Today, let me introduce Eve – Mother of us All!

Eve

Eve Speaks

First of all….you know I’m a myth, right!? I am a myth.  There was no literal Adam and Eve.  And….we are all Adam and Eve.  This is the mystery of myth.  My story…our story…is the human story and it might interest some of you to know that the version of our story that you find in the book of Genesis isn’t even original.  Instead, your Jewish ancestors borrowed this story from their captors in Babylon because it helped them make sense of their own situation – plucked out of the home they had come to love and away from the god they had come to know in the temple into virtual slavery and having to find a new god and a new way of relating to their god while exiled in the land of Persia under the rule of the Chaldean king, Nebuchadnezzar II. (Google it if you don’t believe me!)

But just because my story didn’t actually happen, doesn’t mean it isn’t true. In fact, as is the case of all myth, my story communicates deep and profound truths – truths that are found in layers depending on the reader’s current state in life and their own unique perspective on life, love and God. To some, my story represents disobedience and punishment. To others, the subjugation of the Divine Feminine by warring hoards of patriarchal men (see Riane Eisler for more on this!). To others I represent the dawn of creation. And to others I represent the source of original sin and the danger of feminine wiles. None of these interpretations are wrong (if you need to interpret them in this way), but none are complete or absolute truth either.

All that being said, today I want to share with you my favorite version of my (our) story. It goes like this…..

bible-adam-and-eve

Once upon a time, we knew nothing but God. We knew nothing but the infinite, all-encompassing, overwhelming, unconditional love of God. In this state of knowing, we also knew ourselves to be this love for in this knowing we were one with God and knew nothing other than this oneness. Then one day, God wanted us to understand ourselves as seemingly separate from God – still overwhelmingly encompassed in God’s love, but separate. In this separateness, God created two expressions of God’s self – one that was Feminine in its energy and spirit and one that was Masculine. Together, we represented the prototypes of what human beings would one day become. In this state, we lived in complete harmony and peace – knowing ourselves as nothing but love and in this love, still intimately connected with God. This was paradise – what the scripture writers have called “Eden.” For an eternity we basked in this state of Divine Love – seemingly separate in this love but intimately connected with the fullest expression of this Love which is God.

Then one day, God, (who is really just a child at play), decided to try something new. God said, “I have this idea of a human being – a creature that would be made in our image, but will be in physical form.” As the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine, we jumped at the chance to participate in God’s creation, so we volunteered, “Let us be this new creation – let us become human beings.” But then God dropped the bomb – “Thank you for wanting to participate in my play. But I must warn you, if you should accept this task, if you should become human, you will forget. You will forget the love that you now know yourselves to be. More importantly, you will forget me. You will forget your origin as One with me and the peace and harmony that comes with that knowing.” We had to think about this for awhile. What would it be like to forget love? What would it be like to forget God? What would it be like to forget who we really are? As we pondered this opportunity, God remembered, “You know, you won’t really forget all of it. In fact, we can never truly forget our original nature. We can never truly forget love. Because as part of me, we are never really separate, it will just seem that way. And what if I help you out a bit by planting a seed within your human heart of remembrance – something that will help you to remember and guide your way back to me? Would that help?” We thought about it some more and then we agreed, “Yes, we would participate in God’s play and try out this thing of being human.” And so we did. We agreed to become human and came down into the world as male and female – seemingly separate from God, but always one just the same. This is how it began.

Now, there is a whole lot more to the story, as you well know. But that seems like enough for today. Perhaps we will talk again soon.

 

Love,

Eve

 

Posted in Lessons, Spiritual Direction, Spiritual Formation, Spiritual Practices, temptation

You Want the Truth? You Can’t Handle the Truth!

Today’s blog is about meditation and the REAL reason we resist it.

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses!

This past week, I had several conversations with fellow meditators and meditation teachers, all over the reasons people give for NOT meditating:

  • I don’t have time. I don’t have time. I don’t have time.
  • It’s too religious.
  • It’s not religious enough.
  • An empty mind is the devil’s playground.
  • It wasn’t explicitly handed down by the magisterium.
  • It will lead me away from God.
  • It is too much about God.
  • I’ve tried it and I’ve failed.
  • I can’t quiet my mind.
  • I don’t have time. I don’t have time. I don’t have time.

As one who has maintained a meditation discipline for twenty years, and who has enjoyed the fruits of this practice (increased peace, clarity, compassion, fulfillment, joy, and decreased symptoms of anxiety, depression and panic attack), I can attest that none of these excuses hold water.  As I teach my students, time is not an excuse because the time you give to your practice is returned to you a hundred-fold (I call this the meditation miracle).  Meditation is only as religious as you make it and EVERY SINGLE religious belief system has some form of meditation (aka prayer) that is part of their tradition and which is not only encouraged but supported.  Meditation can also be FREE from religion if that is your preference.  Trying and failing simply means you haven’t yet found the specific spiritual practice that works for you – and that you just need to keep looking.  Meditation can be as mundane as nursing a child, cutting vegetables, pulling weeds or knitting a scarf and as elaborate as the Catholic meditation of the Benediction of the Cross and Eucharistic Adoration.  Meditation is ultimately anything you do that connects you with peace, love, clarity, inner guidance and truth.  As such, none of the aforementioned excuses hold any weight and are simply ways of distracting ourselves from the REAL reason we avoid meditation – the TRUTH!

Nicholson

You Can’t Handle the Truth!

The real reason we avoid meditation and come up with a million and one excuses for not giving our time to it is because of TRUTH.  Truth is one of the primary fruits of diligent attention to a spiritual practice.  When we meditate, we create a safe place in which our TRUTH can begin to show itself – can begin to emerge.  All the things we have been denying about ourselves or our life circumstances, all the hopes, dreams, wishes, desires that we have put on the shelf, stuffed away, repressed or suppressed in our attempts at fitting in or pleasing other people, all the ways in which we have shoved, pushed, forced ourselves to be someone we aren’t will come forth to be made known.  And once we get a glimpse of our truth, we can’t unsee it.  It is there, whispering, pleading, begging us to let it be free so that the person we were made to be can be born freely into the world.  The problem is that we can’t handle our truth.  Truth = CHANGE and even more than death, we fear change.  What if  the truth that emerges is an abusive marriage, or an addiction, or a gender orientation that would require us to step outside the herd?  What if the truth draws us away from our “tribe” and out into the world in search of our real tribe?  What if the truth reveals a meaningless job and the desire for something more?  Yes, the truth is a dangerous thing and THIS is the real reason people avoid meditation.  What these folks are missing, however, is that on the other side of truth is FREEDOM.  When we muster up the courage to be present to our truth and move through the resistances to this truth (hopefully with the help of a good mentor or guide), we find a life of joy and contentment, filled with meaning and purpose and abundant in love.  It is sad that the primary obstacle to a life of freedom and the meditation tool that helps us get there is because we just can’t handle the truth.

004Lauri Lumby is available as a meditation instructor and guide and as a mentor as you work through the resistance to your truth.  Call (920) 230-1313 or email lauri@yourspiritualtruth.com to schedule an appointment.