Posted in Authentic Freedom, Mary Magdalene, order of the magdalene, self-actualization, shadow work, Spiritual Development, Spiritual Formation, Spiritual Practices

The Principles and Practices of Magdalene Mastery

While the world is busy chasing after shiny objects, Authentic Freedom Academy and the Order of the Magdalene focus their attention and intention on that which will remain.  Shiny objects are those things which provide temporary satisfaction, momentary titillation, and excitement.  Shiny objects make us feel good and might give us a thrill but the satisfaction never remains.  Human beings seek after shiny objects in an attempt to fill the emptiness and longing caused by the common human wound of separation.  Shiny objects, however, can never fill that void of separation.  The wound of division cannot be filled from something outside of us.  It can only be fulfilled from within.

Satisfying the longing and emptiness left behind by the wound of separation can only be fulfilled by healing that wound. Healing the wound of separation is only accomplished through a disciplined, persistent, practiced approach of identifying, healing and transforming our deepest and most stubborn wounds. The work of healing these wounds require courage, the willingness to be vulnerable, and most importantly, the ability to be honest with ourselves around the topic of our wounds and the ways in which our wounds might come out sideways in non-loving behavior toward ourselves or others.  With consistent attention to this work, we soon come to realize that we are the shiny object we’ve been looking for. In clearing away our wounds, past traumas, and the guilt heaped upon us through societal conditioning, we see the beauty, brilliance and magic of our true and most authentic self – that which we’ve been seeking all along.

At Authentic Freedom Academy and the Order of the Magdalene, we are not another one of those shiny objects that you might be tempted to entertain.  We are not about to blow smoke up your ass, or make you feel good about yourself by feeding your ego. Instead, we support you and help guide you through the tools and practices we have developed which will help you find satisfaction with yourself.  Finding yourself includes discovering your gifts, being empowered to develop, cultivate and share your gifts.  Finding yourself also includes the deep, often challenging and messy work of soul retrieval – identifying and clearing away the debris of past woundedness and the behaviors that arose out of these wounds so that only your true, original, and untainted self remains.  Here you will find the confidence to live your truth along with the inner power that will fuel you in your work.  Shiny object will always leave you unsatisfied.  With Magdalene Mastery, you will find deeply rooted fulfillment, enduring satisfaction, contentment, joy, and peace in your own personal sovereignty.

Mary Magdalene, Magdalene and Easter, Mary Magdalene and Jesus, Mary Magdalene and women's ordination

The Principles and Practices of Magdalene Mastery:

I. Commitment to a Spiritual Practice

II.  Mission and Purpose

Service to self and the world through the identification, nurturing and sharing of one’s unique gifts.

III. Dedication to Personal Development

Self-knowledge

Continuing study and exploration

IV. Shadow Work

Identifying and transforming unhealed wounds

Releasing trauma (personal and ancestral)

Undoing societal conditioning

V. Radical Personal Accountability

Ongoing exploration of wounds, triggers, etc.

Freedom from blame/victimhood

Vi. Empowerment through Love

Transcending Division to live in love.

Exercising compassion for self and others

Being Love in the world.

 

To learn more about our training programs in personal mastery, go HERE.

 

Posted in End of the World Prophecies, shadow work, world changes

Not Surprising in the Least!

Responding to the events of January 6, 2021

 

Second only, perhaps, to the effects of 9/11, our nation sat in rapt collective horror over the events that unfolded in our Capitol as our congresspeople attempted to make the final pronouncement on the outcome of the presidential election.  I don’t need to explain what happened.  We all saw it with our own two eyes. To quote the 90’s sitcom Seinfeld, “It was loathsome and hideous yet we could not look away.”

https://www.cnn.com/interactive/2021/01/politics/us-capitol-siege/

Thanks to yesterday’s events, the shadow of American has been seen.  While some claimed shock and surprise, this terroristic act was not the least bit surprising to me.  In fact, I have been seeing and predicting this very thing FOR MONTHS!  The United States has become a ticking time bomb and yesterday was simply another example of a nation about to go off.  You know, like those tiny earthquakes that happen before THE BIG ONE?  Yeah….like that.  What that likely means is that “THE BIG ONE” is yet to come.

Death of a Nation by Lauri Ann Lumby

I am at once saddened and disgusted by yesterday’s events.  Saddened that it has come to this.  Disgusted that it has come to this.  The shadow(s) of our nation have been increasingly showing themselves and yet, we continue to do nothing about them.  As a collective, we continue to sweep the sad realities of the so-called “American Dream” under the rug. Racism shows itself and we look the other way. People of color gather in protest and we call them violent and ungrateful. The poor reach out a hand for support and it is slapped away. People are dying by the thousands and we whine about having to wear a mask (grow the fuck up!). We claim our liberties are being infringed upon when we don’t even know what freedom means.  Freedom doesn’t mean getting to do whatever you want simply because you want to.  Freedom is a privilege that has a price and a HUGE part of that price is personal responsibility and self-restraint.

I could go on and on and on, but I won’t.  If you are reading this post, it is likely we are of a similar mind anyway. My point is that none of us should be surprised when the shadows of our nation come forth to be seen.  And we should not be surprised when we start seeing more of this.  We are a nation that is broken and disabled by our own narcissism, self-centeredness and rugged individualism.  Until we address the injustices that are inherent in late-stage Capitalism, we will only see more of the same.  https://www.thedailybeast.com/local-maga-mobs-take-cue-from-dc-try-to-storm-state-capitols  The rich getting richer.  The poor getting poorer.  A growing chasm of division.  And those on the fringe finding ways to violently exercise their frustration.

While it will take years, perhaps lifetimes to heal our broken nation (if it even can be healed), the first step is simple:  BE KIND and start thinking of someone other than just our own damn selves.

Posted in Being Human, guilt, Inspiration, shadow work

A Poem for a Time of Waiting

Will This Game Ever Come to an End?

Copyright Lauri Ann Lumby

Sitting in the discomfort of unknowing.

Nervous, edgy, impatient.

Irritated and annoyed by the smallest of thing.

Unable to focus

Or to find anything to hold my interest.

Pacing the room

and the corridors in my mind.

Afraid to exhale –

Not knowing what may come

in allowing myself to breathe.

With nothing else to cling to or to occupy my restless heart,

thoughts become addled with

unfounded guilt and self-doubt.

In the midst of the unknowing

the demons come out to play.

Internal compass spinning

in the vain attempt to locate magnetic north.

Will the roulette wheel ever stop spinning?

Or are we doomed to an eternity of waiting –

always in anticipation of when

the next ax is going to fall.

Posted in Inspiration, Magic, self-actualization, shadow work

Happy Halloween! Blessed Samhain!

As I often say to my friends, “Every day is Halloween at the Lumby house!”  Halloween is my most favorite holiday and has been for as long as memory serves!  Last night my daughter asked me what I was going to dress up for today.  I replied, “I have no need to dress up.  I’m a witch every day.”  She implored me, “Don’t you have a black dress you can wear or something?”  To which I reminded her, “I do, but then I would just be dressing up as myself.”  THIS is how much Halloween is part of my bones.  In honor of this sacred day, I have shared a couple poems for the season.  Enjoy!   With love, Lauri.

Strange and Wonderful Creatures Like Me

Copyright 2013 Lauri Ann Lumby from  Returning – a woman’s midlife journey to herself

 

Fairies and dragons

Elves and trolls

Witches and goblins

Cinnamon rolls

Fairy Godmothers

Magic Wands

Pumpkins and broomsticks

Frogs in a pond

Vampires and Werewolves

Blood dripping fangs

Coffins and daggers

Doors that go Bang!

Clawfoot bathtubs

Cauldrons and fire

Potions that bubble

Swamp dripping mire

I love all things strange, dark and mysterious

Woodlands at midnight

Fullmoon?  DELIRIOUS!

The stranger the better

Families Munster and Addams

I’m sure I am one of them

Just call me “Black Madam”

On any day I’ll cast ye a spell

Put on a hex or

Ring a church bell.

If you are real and strange like me

I’ll see you at twilight ‘neath yonder Yew tree.

Which Witch is Witch?

Copyright 2016  Lauri Ann Lumby

 

Dark curling hair (or any color or style for that matter)

A piercing gaze

Seeing all the way through to your Soul.

At home in the world between worlds

And a bridge between the two.

Here to bring forth God’s will

As Embodiment of the Goddess.

Wisdom from the depths of infinity.

A prophetess, a seer, a priestess, teacher and healer.

A shit-disturber and changemaker.

Present at the thresholds of life and death.

Mistress of shadows.

Queen of the Underworld

– where Souls rest from what has been,

preparing for what is yet to be.

Survivor of the Inquisition and the Burning Times,

The Whore of Babylon

And the Virgin Queen of Heaven.

Much to patriarchy’s chagrin,

She cannot be destroyed.

She is here to stay.

In a world that now wonders which way to turn,

This Witch is which.

 

Posted in shadow work

New Online Course – Mastering the Shadow

Mastering the Shadow – transforming your deepest fears and unhealed wounds is a shamanic ritual practice for those who find themselves in the depths of their core spiritual wounds and who are longing to be free of their effects so they might once again be anchored in their original wholeness.  Mastering the Shadow is a practice that is meant to be returned to again and again as the symptoms of your core wound are triggered.  With on-going attention to this practice, you will be “loving yourself back together.”

This training includes instruction in and step by step guidance through the eight stages of the Mastering the Shadow shamanic ritual practice along with a downloadable PDF of the practice for your ongoing use.

Learn more and register HERE.  

From the course introduction:

Mastering the Shadowtransforming your deepest fears and unhealed wounds is a shamanic ritual and practice for those who find themselves in the depths of their core spiritual wounds.  These are the wounds that are specifically related to the core wound of separation but are unique to each individual depending on how they first experienced this wound.

This is a mastery practice because it demands an ongoing, diligent practice of personal accountability.  This is NOT the kind of practice where you can “think” your pain away.  Through this practice you will dive deeply into the core of your pain – being in and with that pain, for the sake of supporting its transformation and release while re-integrating the part of your soul that was lost to the original wounding.

This work is eq1ually not about “letting it go” as separation is implicit in the idea of letting go.  As the Buddhist sages remind, “What you resist will persist.”  If you believe you need to be rid of something by letting it go, you are only creating more separation.  This practice invites you instead to draw the pain intimately close where you will be literally loving yourself back together.

Learn more and register HERE

 

 

spiritual counseling, Lauri Ann Lumby, transformational counseling, empowerment, healing and transforming fears and unhealed woundsMastering the Shadow was created by Lauri Ann Lumby, OM, OPM, MATS.  Lauri is a Magdalene Priestess, High Priest in the Order of Melchizedek and shadow worker.  Lauri has been accompanying clients and students in depth work for nearly thirty years. Lauri has developed the Authentic Freedom protocol, among other shamanic practices to support people in their efforts to become whole.  Lauri is spiritual director for the Authentic Freedom online community, a published author, artist and sought-out spiritual counselor and educator.  Learn more about Lauri at www.authenticfreedom.love.

Posted in shadow work

When Our Shadows Come Out to Play

(“Duck those Ducking Duckers!”)

The deepest, most exquisite part of my gift to the world is my ability to work in and with the shadows – the pain, sorrows, traumas, fears and other areas of woundedness we try to hide from the world and from ourselves.  In order to do this work with and for others, I first have to do it for myself.  As life continues to remind me, our shadow work is never done.  Even when we think we have sufficiently grieved a loss, healed a trauma, released a pain, there are remnants of it that will remain, waiting to surface again (most often when we least expect it) for another layer of healing.

Yesterday, I found myself in that place. An innocent article appeared on Facebook, an article I had seen a million other times, about Reiki being offered in hospitals.  I don’t know why yesterday was different from any other day, but I read the headline of that article and I LOST IT!  Are you kidding me?  Reiki in hospitals?  Knowing that at least half of the hospitals in the United States are run by the Catholic Church, I found myself enraged.  Not because Reiki might now be available in Catholic hospitals (hurray) but because of the local self-appointed inquisition, the local Church and the local bishop and his cronies who made my life a living hell all because of Reiki.  In my rage (grief) I posted on FB, “If Reiki is being offered in Catholic hospitals too, there are several bishops and members of the local self-appointed inquisition who owe me an apology and maybe some financial consideration for the hell they put me through!”  And I meant it!  Those duckers made my life a living hell and the PTSD I now bear is partly because of the soul wrenching pain I experienced due to their ministrations and constant harassment. The result of my “run in” with the Church was my leaving and wondering if karma was ever going to have its way with those ducking duckers. The truth I came to yesterday is “not likely.”  “They” will go on living in their self-righteous, fundamentalist interpretation of Catholic teaching, making themselves and the people around them miserable with their constant scrutiny, while I am walking around free.

……and……there it is.  I’m free. I am free of the outside perceived authority of the Church and the laws that men created to strike fear in the hearts of human beings so they could be manipulated and controlled.  Fear of hellfire and damnation no longer plague my life.  I no longer fear a jealous or angry “god.”  I am no longer looking over my shoulder wondering if I am adequately upholding Catholic teaching so that my entrance into heaven might be assured.  I am no longer running from the “snares of the devil” as “Satan” and I have become friends.  (for more on why Satan isn’t who “he” was made out to be read HERE).  And finally, I no longer fear death.  When my time comes, I will greet Death as a welcome friend.  I no longer fear death because when we free ourselves from the illusion of hell and the threat of eternal punishment, in death there is nothing to fear.  This has been my “reward” for staying true to the Divine calling of my Soul, while those who continue to threaten and harass are imprisoned by their fear.

I share this story as an example of WHY I do what I do and WHY it is imperative that we meet our shadows face to face.  Our shadows surface, not to haunt us or cause us pain, but to lead us to freedom.  Every time our shadows come out to play, when we meet them (instead of running from them) and when we allow ourselves every single emotion and thought that accompanies them (ie:  “duck those ducking duckers”) we find our way to freedom and release.  It is only in being present to our pain that we can find its release.  It is only in being present to our wounds and facing the tragedies of our past that we can be freed to walk the path of our truth.

If you are looking for assistance in navigating the path of your shadows, I am available for one-on-one mentoring and there are several course offerings which support the journey through the shadows.

 

Posted in shadow work, spiritual gifts, spiritual healing

The Invisible Work of the Empath

The purpose of today’s blog is to provide encouragement, support and permission for those who have been gifted with the calling of Empath (and in some cases, Priestess of Death).  The work of an empath can be lonely and thankless as the work we are doing is primarily invisible.  It is for this reason that I want you to know you are not alone, that the sensations you are feeling are real and that they have purpose and meaning.  Our world would be a much darker, scarier place were it not for the Empaths doing their difficult work of feeling and transforming.

 

Feeling

Feeling is the number one task of the empath, and likely the first sensation we are aware of that is pointing us toward our gifts.  As empaths, we FEEL everything around us.  We feel other people’s feelings and emotions.  We feel the energy of a space.  We feel the energy of another person’s intentions.  We can feel if someone is being authentic or if they are a liar.  We can feel the energy of our community and the energy of the world.  We can feel weather patterns, impending storms and the oncoming of natural disasters (earthquakes, hurricanes, tsunamis, etc.).  We can feel if there is conflict happening or about to happen somewhere in our world and we can feel ahead of time when a tragedy is about to strike (as in the incident in Oshkosh last week).

 

Transforming

Sometimes we are feeling for the simple sake of feeling.  If we know the energy of a space or a person, we can use that knowledge to set boundaries where necessary.  The gift of empath is like having our own personal barometer so we can know if a person or a space is “safe” for us.  In most cases, however, we feel so that we might respond.  In some cases, our response is conscious.  We may become aware of a feeling of sorrow in a family member or friend and we might reach out in support.  We may know that a group of people are grieving, and we might take time out to pray for them.  In other cases, our response is unconscious.   A specific example of this from my own life is the feelings and sensations my body processed while I was in graduate school and the university I was attending was going through a crisis.  I didn’t yet understand my calling as an empath and every time I attended our semi-annual seminars, I became sick and depressed.  Twice I became seriously physically ill.  What I didn’t understand then, but I understand now is that my body was processing and transforming the trauma, grief and fear that was being experienced by students, faculty and staff at the university.

 

Hepa-Vacs of the Human World

As empaths our primary job is to take into our own bodies, the emotions and feelings that others are unable to process themselves so that they can be processed and transformed through our bodies.  We are like the Hepa-Vac of the human world. We take in the fear and pain that is around us and through our spiritual gifts, they are healed and transformed.  The more aware we are of our gifts and the more conscious we are of the work we are doing, the less we experience our gifts as negative and the less we suffer any negative effects from the work we are doing.  (For example, if I’d known in grad school what I know now, I would have been purposefully doing my empath work and would not have become physically ill).

 

Time and Attention

The calling of the empath requires time and attention.  This is perhaps the greatest challenge for us in a world that does not acknowledge or recognize our gifts.  Whether the world knows it or not, we are doing it a HUGE favor in the use (as if we even have a choice) of our gifts.  The greatest gift we can give to ourselves and to our world is to take time out for our gifts.  If/when we feel the overwhelming grief of those around us, or become aware of the anxiety of impending tragedy, it behooves us to STOP what we are doing so that those feelings can move into and through us.  We can stop and pray or sending healing intentions – even if we don’t know what we are praying for.  With the incident that occurred in Oshkosh last week, I immediately responded to my body’s demand for prayer, meditation and for healing.

 

A Thankless Job

Whether the world sees it or not, our calling as empaths is critical to the healing and transformation of our world.  While our culture does not acknowledge nor compensate us for our gifts, the sharing of our gifts is critical. Think of what our world would be like if we weren’t doing our job of healing and transforming the negative things of our world.  This is where faith comes in.  While we are taking time out for the use of our gifts, we have to trust that as we are engaged in our Divine calling, our humanly needs are being met.  While compensation may not come through our community, we will be rewarded in other ways because as we give, so shall we receive.

 

For ongoing support in the development and use of your gifts, check out our membership offerings.  Learn more HERE.

If you feel called to make a donation to Lauri Ann Lumby for the empath work she has been doing, click HERE. 

 

 

 

Posted in shadow work, Spiritual Formation

Breaking Down to Break Through

The closer we draw to our true nature (which is God/Source/Love), the more inessential parts of our life, nature and personality fall away.  Apparently just saying “yes” to a more monastic life is not enough.  (As if I didn’t already know this!).  As I live into the answer of what it means to be monastic as a 54 year old single mother of two I’m simultaneously finding answers, along with many more questions. At this moment, everything is up for grabs.  Every….single…..thing……I have been offering as my gifts to the world; every….single…..title/role/name I have given to myself; every…..single…..way……I have attempted to describe who I am and what I do is up for debate.  Actually, it is much more than that, every…..single…..thing……is asking to be SET ASIDE.  Maybe not forever, but in this moment, in this snapshot of time, I am no longer teacher, counselor, author, priest, prophet, artist, or writer.  I’m feeling a little like Arya Stark in her stay with at the House of Black and White.

“The Girl is No one.  The Girl has no name.”

As Arya discovered in the end, I will never be without my name.  I will always be Lauri.  But as Arya also learned, some of the roles and responsibilities may need to change.  In the past this would have terrified me, but I’ve been here before.  It’s simply another one of those COMPLETE REWRITES over which I have no control.  It is being done through me, for me, and on my behalf.  So all I can do is SURRENDER to what is and as is appropriate during this Scorpio season, take the deep dive.

The Deep Dive for me has shown up in the form of a profound emptiness.  I find myself with literally nothing to do, and no inspiration for doing.  Yeah, there are tons of things I could be doing, but I have learned not to force things or to push against the energy of the Universe which is clearly telling me to get out of my own way.  (Thank you for your patience Torrie as Lesson 6 is taking its own damn time in being born!)

With nothing to do, I have nothing left but to be.  To be WITH that which is presenting.  1) a book on monasticism by a recovering Catholic divorced mother of two like me. 2) Friends showing up out of nowhere wanting to meet for coffee.  3) My regular meditation and yoga practices. 4) Caring for my children. 5) Being with the breaking down.

Breaking down is proving to be a mash up of life review, revisiting old wounds, witnessing those things that are still in need of transformation.  It is like someone stirred the pond and the muck that had settled on the bottom has come up to the surface to be seen.  The most important part of this stage in the process is to OWN MY OWN SHIT!  No finger pointing.  No blame.  No shame.  No projections.  Instead, it is simply seeing, witnessing and evaluating.  In taking the stance of objective observer, I can simply assess what is coming forth and evaluate its place in my life.  What is working?  What is not.  What is life-giving?  What is not?  What can stay?  What may need to go?  As I am still human, this process is less than perfect, but once I get through the initial emotional reaction, I see more clearly how EVERYTHING is mine.

In this stage, the temptation is to then think I have to do something about it.  NO NO NO.  Now is not the time for action.  Now is simply the time of observation and evaluation.  As human beings we are so damned impatient and think we have to be in charge.  When we think we have things all figured out and then hurry to get ‘er done, it usually blows up in our face.  Instead, we are invited to MOVE BEYOND our human nature and WAIT.  What we eventually find is that the Universe has the perfect timing in mind and is orchestrating all necessary change in the perfect way and in the perfect time.  We also find that when we “Let go and let God” the result is usually (mostly) pain free.  The only “pain” that is present is related to how much we are clinging to what has been and what needs to pass away.

Sigh!  Being human is hard.  Being spiritual in a human world is even harder.  But as I am continually reminded, it’s not like I have a choice.  I came here to do one thing and that is LOVE.  Apparently love isn’t done with me yet.

Posted in Magic, shadow work, Spiritual Practices

Taking Back My Power and Slaying Demons

For the past nearly 20 years, I’ve been terrorized by Oshkosh’s own (self-appointed) Inquisition.  They have bullied me, hounded me, harassed me, made horrible claims against me and more.  Even after I left the Church, they continued their harassment.  Watching my every move and reporting everything I do to the local bishop.  A local priest and a former monseigneur (who has since been promoted to bishop.) have also been involved.  A ban has been placed on me and my work.  20 years of harassment and my subsequent decision to leave the Church has contributed to my PTSD and its related symptoms.

Today I took my power back (actually I’ve been actively taking my power back while healing the wounds of these attacks since they first began).  This is how I did it!  (PS it works on ex’s too!) :

 

Spiritual Healing - Healing Demons

Posted in Healing, self-actualization, shadow work

Betrayal

In the journey of self-actualization and coming into our wholeness, old wounds often resurface so that another layer of healing and transformation may occur.  Journaling and writing poetry are two of the ways I support myself in processing these wounds – in this case, the wound of betrayal.  What are the tools you have used to heal from the many ways in which life has betrayed you?

Betrayal

Betrayal seems to me the most excruciating of all pain,

Perhaps more painful even than death.

For in death at least there is closure.

And we can bury our dead.

(Isn’t death, after all, a betrayer and a betrayal?

Perhaps betrayal IS the pain in death, more so even than the loss.)

 

But in betrayal, the betrayer becomes a living specter reminding us of our failure.

How could I not have known?

How did I not see it sooner?

Why did I put up with this for so long?

But alas, we likely knew and saw from the very beginning –

The signs and the red flags –

Heralds of truth we chose to ignore

for the sake of counterfeit love,

a relationship of convenience…

a means to an end.

 

Or because this was the only kind of love we had ever known.

 

The betrayer – forever taunting us in their ability to go on.

While holding our beating and dripping heart in their hands –

as a trophy.

 

Pride the betrayer’s sin.

Believing themselves above the laws of human kindness,

Above reproach

Ever justified in their righteousness.

Using our vulnerability as a weapon –

The soul we bared against us.

A cruelty beyond imagining.

Intentional.

 

No apologies.

No seeking after forgiveness.

In betrayal, the pure of heart are left to suffer

while the betrayer rides off triumphantly

seeking after another one to betray.

 

Learn more by clicking on the image above.