Posted in Inspiration, Magic, self-actualization, shadow work

Happy Halloween! Blessed Samhain!

As I often say to my friends, “Every day is Halloween at the Lumby house!”  Halloween is my most favorite holiday and has been for as long as memory serves!  Last night my daughter asked me what I was going to dress up for today.  I replied, “I have no need to dress up.  I’m a witch every day.”  She implored me, “Don’t you have a black dress you can wear or something?”  To which I reminded her, “I do, but then I would just be dressing up as myself.”  THIS is how much Halloween is part of my bones.  In honor of this sacred day, I have shared a couple poems for the season.  Enjoy!   With love, Lauri.

Strange and Wonderful Creatures Like Me

Copyright 2013 Lauri Ann Lumby from  Returning – a woman’s midlife journey to herself

 

Fairies and dragons

Elves and trolls

Witches and goblins

Cinnamon rolls

Fairy Godmothers

Magic Wands

Pumpkins and broomsticks

Frogs in a pond

Vampires and Werewolves

Blood dripping fangs

Coffins and daggers

Doors that go Bang!

Clawfoot bathtubs

Cauldrons and fire

Potions that bubble

Swamp dripping mire

I love all things strange, dark and mysterious

Woodlands at midnight

Fullmoon?  DELIRIOUS!

The stranger the better

Families Munster and Addams

I’m sure I am one of them

Just call me “Black Madam”

On any day I’ll cast ye a spell

Put on a hex or

Ring a church bell.

If you are real and strange like me

I’ll see you at twilight ‘neath yonder Yew tree.

Which Witch is Witch?

Copyright 2016  Lauri Ann Lumby

 

Dark curling hair (or any color or style for that matter)

A piercing gaze

Seeing all the way through to your Soul.

At home in the world between worlds

And a bridge between the two.

Here to bring forth God’s will

As Embodiment of the Goddess.

Wisdom from the depths of infinity.

A prophetess, a seer, a priestess, teacher and healer.

A shit-disturber and changemaker.

Present at the thresholds of life and death.

Mistress of shadows.

Queen of the Underworld

– where Souls rest from what has been,

preparing for what is yet to be.

Survivor of the Inquisition and the Burning Times,

The Whore of Babylon

And the Virgin Queen of Heaven.

Much to patriarchy’s chagrin,

She cannot be destroyed.

She is here to stay.

In a world that now wonders which way to turn,

This Witch is which.

 

Posted in New World, self-actualization, world changes

Building the New World 2020 – Part 1

The tipping point has arrived!  Last Tuesday I was given a direct and urgent order:

 

Your time of being hospice to the dying world is complete. 

Now it is time to start building the new world!

 

With the arrival of the Covid-19 pandemic, there is no turning back.  Life as we have known it is OVER.  The old world is taking its last dying breath and the new world is emerging out of the ash of what will be left behind.

There will be those who will continue to look back at what has been and grasp for what they have known, but all that looking back will do nothing but turn them into a “pillar of salt.”  As Lot’s wife discovered, there can be no looking back.

For those of us who have spent lifetimes preparing and training for these times, WE ARE READY.  It is no longer our job to try to convince, coerce, or even beckon.  If the world hasn’t gotten it yet, and if this crisis doesn’t serve as a wake-up call, nothing ever will.  It is now our job to get busy using the gifts we’ve been given and which we have honed to perfection, to start building the new world.

 

We all have our own unique role in the new world building!

 

 

My role is “the same as it ever was.”  Through my gifts of encouragement, teaching, and discernment of spirits, I have created a process through which women and men are empowered to discover their unique giftedness, the mission and purpose in this life and how they are called to use their gifts for the sake of their own fulfillment and for the sake of the betterment of the world.  I then support them in getting out there and sharing their gifts by helping them overcome the fears that are keeping them from living out of their gifts. What I provide is what religion and psychology would have been doing all along if they weren’t stuck in a hierarchical model that puts one person in a position of (perceived) authority over another.  If there is any hierarchy in Authentic Freedom, it is me at the bottom, lifting you up!

 

In a sense, I am providing the foundational training for those called to build the new world.  Starting with the basic questions:

  • What are my gifts?
  • How will I find meaning and purpose in my life?
  • How am I called to use my gifts for the sake of my own fulfillment and in service to the betterment of the world?
  • What are the fears that are keeping me from living out of my gifts?
  • Where can I receive ongoing support in using my gifts? 

That final question is the new (not really) aspect to my part in building the new world.  Not only am I providing foundational training for those who are seeking to find their place in the new world.  I am here to provide ongoing support through an online community of women and men who are getting busy in building the new world through their own unique gifts.  The community platform offers ongoing spiritual support through online meditation gatherings, a weekly spiritual service and a monthly “Teacher’s Circle.”  The community members are then able to maintain an ongoing connection with each other through our very own private social network.  Unlike Facebook, there are no ads and here only love, respect and community abound.

 

A community of like-minded leaders working together in building the new world.

 

What would that look like?  It will look very similar to what monastic communities are supposed to be, but without the hierarchy, cloister, or externally imposed upon vows (chastity, celibacy and poverty).  Any vows you take are up to your own unique soul’s calling and how you are called to live in the world. In this community, you are also not required to have any particular belief system.  In fact, a diversity of beliefs are welcome.  Whether you lean toward Buddhism, paganism, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Jewish, Indigenous, or Atheism, all are welcome here.  We learn and grow through the inherent unity at the core of every single spiritual tradition.  All are welcome!

 

How You Can Get Involved

In the coming days, I will be launching the additional services that have long been needed to provide the invitation, guidance and support to empower people on their path of self-actualization and in the unique way they are called to build the new world.  In taking these steps, I am adding a few more bricks to the temple that is being called forth out of me – a temple not built by human hands.

 

Starting today, I will be offering a twice-weekly “Midday Meditation” that is FREE and available for all who wish to attend.  It will be available at 1:00 pm (central) on through Facebook Live on my Authentic Freedom Academy Facebook Page.  The meditations will be recorded and available for up to 24 hours after the event.

 

Wednesday, I have opened my March Teacher’s Circle for all levels of the Authentic Freedom membership.  This is where those can gather who have already been busy honing their gifts in support of the new world.  This is where as teachers and leaders we can gather for support.

 

Friday I am launching my weekly “Spiritual Service.”  This will be available for all levels of Authentic Freedom Membership via ZOOM.  The services will run from 1:00 – 2:30 pm central time and will include an inspirational reading, a lesson, meditation/mindfulness and discussion.  Think “church” only better.  These gatherings will be held weekly.

 

If you are interested in learning more about our memberships, please click HERE.

 

Also note that membership IS NOT required for those who simply want to enjoy the trainings I have created or who want to participate in the Midday Meditations on Facebook.  For those, you simply need to show up!

 

Doing what I can to help us together build a new world!

 

With love,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lauri Ann Lumby, OM, OPM, MATS

Authentic Freedom Academy

www.authenticfreedom.love

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Boundaries, building the new world, Relationships, self-actualization, world changes

Boundaries While Under House Arrest

As an introvert, there is nothing I like better than being home.  Also, as an introvert, my preference is to be in my home alone.  There is nothing that frustrates me more than other people in my home getting on my nerves!  While I love the four days a week my children are here, I breathe a sigh of relief when they head to their dad’s so I can enjoy a few days home alone.  My home is my sanctuary and my refuge from an otherwise chaotic and noisy world.

ENTER PANDEMIC!

Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, now we have no choice (if we have a spouse and/or children at home) but to share our space with others.  You think its bad when we all have activities and places we can go to outside the home?  What will things look like when we now have no place to go but to stay sequestered in our homes?  You’re right – WE WILL BE GETTING ON EACH OTHER’S NERVES.  Being stranded in our homes with nowhere to go is likely to bring out the worst in all of us.  We will be bored, restless, bored, did I say bored, and we will likely be feeling anxious about how long this will go on and how we will be paying our bills during this time of shut down.  Then there is the eternal worry about whether or not we can find toilet paper.  (rolling my eyeballs out of my head!)

Surviving House-Arrest

Here are a few tips to help us not kill each other as we are forced to share space:

  • OWN YOUR FEELINGS! You may be feeling anxious, worried, afraid, restless, bored, sad, depressed, paralyzed, or any other sort of uncomfortable feeling.  When we have the feelings and do not acknowledge and then tend to them, they tend to come out sideways.  It is more likely that we will lose our temper with our families over our own anxiety than because they did something wrong.  If you are feeling any of the aforementioned feelings, give yourself a time-out and tend to them.  If you need support in managing these feelings, do a quick search on my website and there is likely an article to help you through the pain.
  • HIDE WHEN YOU NEED TO! When in close quarters, it is natural to feel stifled or infringed upon.  When you are feeling the pressure of other people’s needs or simply because they are there, give yourself a time-out.  Go to your room.  Go for a walk.  Drive to the nearest nature preserve and enjoy some nature.  Do whatever you need to do to get away and train your family to allow it while also giving them permission to do the same.
  • SUPPORT YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS IN DOING #1 and #2. It has to start somewhere.  If you model these boundaries with your family members, you are also giving them the example to do this for themselves.  Some members of the family may not yet have the emotional intelligence to identify their feelings.  If they are acting out, it is more likely they are feeling one of the above feelings or need to give themselves a time-out.  Help them do this. As an introvert, I have spent my children’s lifetimes training them in these practices and now at ages 20 and 22 they get it.  They are good with their own self-care, and if not, I gently remind them.
  • GET COMFORTABLE WITH SIMPLY BEING. This is a tough one in a world that has trained us only for DOING.  Likely one of the reasons we are experiencing this pandemic is to remind us the value of BEING. Get comfortable with DOING NOTHING.  Resist the temptation to filling your time with activity (trust me, we will soon run out of activities to do).  Read a book.  Sit in silence.  Grab a coloring book and color (even if it’s old ones left over from when your kids were little).  Listen to music.  Take a walk in nature.  Or just do nothing.  Help your family members learn how to do the same.  Maybe even schedule (if you are a person who thrives on routine like I do) DOWN time for your family.  Time when everyone can retreat to their own spaces and just be quiet.
  • GET TO KNOW YOUR FAMILY. Yeah, we all know each other, but do we REALLY know each other?  Do you know your partner or children’s temperaments?  Do you know their preferences?  What is their number on the Enneagram or their Myers-Briggs personality type?  How do they get their energy? How do they process information?  What is their learning style?  Are they intuitive or a thinker?  Extroverted or Introverted?  Knowing these things about ourselves and our loved ones helps us to understand and support them in meeting their needs.  For example, I know that my son is more extroverted than I am and that he thrives on trying new things.  He is easily bored and needs regular physical and competitive outlets.  Knowing this about him has helped me to support him in getting what he needs.  My daughter on the other hand, is routine driven, introverted and slow to make change.  She is adaptable but doesn’t like surprises. These are all bits of knowledge that will help us manage social=distancing, the shutting down of our normal activities and being home together under one roof.

If you are in need of specific support for any one of the above, I am available.  Just email me at lauri@authenticfreedom.love and tell me how you are struggling. From that I will recommend some resources that might be of further and more specific support, including my own online courses, one-on-one mentoring and online community.

 

Hang in there.  You are not alone.  We are all in this together!

 

With love,

Lauri Ann Lumby, OM, OPM, MATS

Authentic Freedom Academy

 

Posted in Monastic Living, self-actualization

Welcome to My Monastic Life

My whole life I have been restless – longing and searching for more.  Typically, that “more” meant something other than what I was currently experiencing.  My mom recently reminded me that I was always looking for that next opportunity, next goal, next degree, next job, next relationship.  I was rarely, if ever, satisfied with what was right in front of me, I was always looking for that “something new” that must be right around the corner.  This searching did not arise out of boredom with the status quo – in fact, as one who thrives on order and routine, status quo has always provided me with a sense of comfort.  But still, my heart was restless.  Where was that satisfaction that my Soul longed for and relentlessly searched after?

The good news is that my searching has not been in vain.  Everything I have explored, searched after, studied, discerned, discarded or applied has been food for the searching.  Every place I landed (albeit temporarily) showed me a part of my Soul and provided me with tools which have proven, not only helpful but life-giving in the great search.  What I had begun to suspect a few years back and which I have now come to understand fully, it was not anything outside of me for which I was searching.

This whole entire time I was only searching for one thing and that one thing is MYSELF.

Nimue – original art by Lauri Ann Lumby

Lauri Ann Lumby.  Thriving in order and routine.  An Introvert who likes people and who cherishes intimate friendships.  Creative yet also logical and reasoning.  Outwardly appearing aloof while harboring deep, deep, deep feelings. Highly, highly, highly intuitive (some might even suggest psychic). Hungry for knowledge – specifically of a spiritual nature.  Enjoys a quiet, gentle, ease-filled flow to life.  Repelled by conflict or competition.  Enforcing hard-core boundaries for the sake of self-care.  Recoils from entanglements and anything smelling of co-dependency or manipulation.  A vessel of kindness and support, insight and wisdom.  Yearning for a world where we can all just get along and where people can remember that we are all one.

This is me.  I have also learned (something I’ve actually known all along) that knowing myself isn’t enough.  What this search has also led me to understand is what MYSELF needs to thrive.  It is not and has never been what our culture keeps trying to sell us – work hard, get a job, make lots of money, buy lots of things, invest your money, save your money, buy cool things with your money, be famous.  You can imagine the inner conflict I’ve been feeling all these years with the world and my Soul constantly fighting for my attention.

No more.  Now I get it and I am living it.  I have set down my conditioned desire for wealth, power, fame and success (as it is defined in our capitalistic culture).  Instead, I am embracing what my Soul needs – a monastic kind of life. But what does that mean in 2019 for a 54 year old divorced mother of two?  The answer to this question has come from living INTO the question – asking my Soul what it needs from moment to moment and doing my best to deliver.

Yesterday, I had the perfect monastic kind of day – one that filled my Soul!  It looked like this:

  • 6 am wake up.
  • Meditation
  • Breakfast and coffee
  • Check emails and Facebook for messages.
  • Upload two additional lessons to my Order of Melchizedek Level 6 training.
  • Draw.
  • Make a healthy, nourishing lunch.
  • Get a massage.
  • Come home, do dishes and clean for my evening class.
  • Shower.
  • Draw some more while enjoying coffee and a few Fig cookies.
  • Eat a light dinner.
  • Prep my class.
  • Transfer money from my Paypal account (yay….I love getting paid to “do nothing”) into my checking.
  • Pay a couple bills.
  • Meditate for 20 minutes
  • Welcome my guests for a 6:30 class.
  • Watch Dark Crystal on Netflix while enjoying a glass of wine.
  • 9:00 bedtime.

 

Easy day.  Easy flow.  The perfect blend of being and doing and only “doing” that which came forth out of my being.  Hurray!

Today is much of the same.  The only difference will be grocery shopping, a stop at the bank and my job at the ballet studio (chop wood and carry water while also getting my necessary outside of my home people interaction).

In embracing my monastic spirit and making a commitment to it in my daily life, I am indeed finding “heaven on earth.”  Yes there will still be conflict.  Yes, there will still be anxiety and stress.  Yes, I am spending a fair amount of my time alone – which actually fits my temperament.  No, my life is not complicit with what a capitalistic culture requires of us.  No, I don’t have any of the things our culture says we must have.  I don’t own a home.  I don’t have any savings or investments.  I own the simple furnishings and artwork (much of it I have done myself) that are in my home.  Much of what I own came to me second-hand, including the clothes on my back.  It is a simple life.  It is counter cultural.  And it is founded on and established in one thing:

My relationship with MYSELF and my relationship with that which some call “God.” 

 

Everything else springs forth out of and revolves around this simple goal – to be One within Myself and therefore One with God and One with everything that is.

It is here that we find true contentment and peace.

 

If the monastic life speaks to your Soul’s yearning, follow my daily posts on Facebook and Instagram.  If you are looking for connection with others walking a similar path, consider becoming a member of our growing community. All are welcome.

Posted in self-actualization

Emptying Some More

There are many times throughout our journey home to ourselves (self-actualization) where our lives are completely re-aligned.  This re-alignment begins on the day we are born in the moment we are expelled from the comfort of our mother’s womb into the cold, often cruel, world.  No longer are all our needs continually met unbidden, we have to make people aware of our needs with no words to express them.  As we find our way through infancy and childhood, every moment is a re-alignment – a constant exploration and learning of how to be and who to be in this world.  The re-alignments continue as we graduate childhood and become students, when we move from the routine of grade school into the hormone infested chaos of middle school, and from there into the segmented atmosphere of high school – defined by social groups and activities.  From there we move to the job world or college, to love and marriage, parenthood, etc. etc. etc.  At certain steps along the journey a complete overhaul is required.

Finding our way home to ourselves is no different. The past several years for me has been one letting go and emptying after another.  Just as I think I have emptied enough, the Universe presents another opportunity/invitation/command.  (It’s really more of a command.  I have discovered in this journey toward Self that we really don’t have a choice.  If we are serious about our commitment to Self/Soul, freewill isn’t really an option.  It’s more of a do or die.)  I find that I am facing another one of these commands.

When I proclaimed to the world my commitment to my monastic self, I thought (how silly of me) “Ok we’re good.”  I figured it was simply a matter of living into the monastic-ish lifestyle that has been beckoning me.  Hah!  Just as we think we have things figured out, God/Goddess laughs.  Instead, I find that not only am I living into the question of what a monastic life looks like to me, I am also witnessing the further falling away of everything I thought myself to be and every role/offering I thought I had to share with the world.   For the past several months, my students have been falling away left and right. I have few clients to speak of.  The membership options I launched on my site are not thriving in the way I hoped they would.  Etc. etc. etc.

To add insult to injury, as a normally prolific writer and creator, my creative inspiration seems to be dried up.  I have four creative projects staring me in the face – one with somewhat of a deadline.  They are all standing there looking at me waiting for some movement but I got nothin.  Zilch.  Nadda.  Nothin.  Not one spark of inspiration to get these things done and bring them into fruition.  Nothin.

Old Lauri would have worried and fretted about the “looming deadlines” and the (seemingly) ever-decreasing income stream.  Even more, I would have worried about having nothing “to do.”  Instead, I know this is simply more of the movement toward Self.  As Jesus modeled for us and the ancient mystics further demonstrated, the intent and purpose of the spiritual journey is to be made empty so that we might be filled by God.  The journey home to ourselves, is ultimately about returning to Source – God, Love, Truth, Ain-Sof (No-thing), the Void, Allah, Brahma, Sophia, Shekinah, Abba, Amma,  – whatever name/image/form/formlessness you want to give it.  The human journey is all about Source calling us home to our true nature which can only be accomplished in an emptying of ourselves.

At this point in my journey I know better than to resist the call of the Soul.  Those things that are falling away are doing so to create space for something even more amazing, life-giving and fulfilling.  I have absolutely no idea what that might be, but I am open to receive and getting out of my own way so the Divine can make its home in me.

 

 

Posted in Authentic Freedom, Inspiration, self-actualization

Coming Home (to ourselves)

Since giving myself permission to embrace the monastic lifestyle that has been calling to my Soul, some interesting things have happened.  In short, I have never in my life felt so secure in myself.  I feel content, grounded and whole.  It is as if every scattered part of myself, every fragmented part of me has been drawn into wholeness. It seems that the decision to embrace my own unique form of monasticism created a magnet that simply drew every part of me into a state of wholeness within myself.  In making this commitment to myself, I have come home – home to myself.

Home.

Coming home (to myself) came about through the simple and singular act of permission.  After 54 years of struggle, I gave myself permission to BE who I have always meant to and yearned to be.  With that, all the struggle simply fell away.  It is obvious to me that the 54 previous years has been a constant leading toward and unfolding of this simple, inevitable moment of permission.  Everything I have done; all I have been through and every single tool and practice I gathered along the way provided the support I needed to acknowledge and accept this calling in a world that would have me doing everything but.

In a world where we have no models or examples of regular, ordinary, working folk embracing a monastic lifestyle, it is a commitment we must live into.  What does it mean to be monastic in the regular ordinary world?  For non-religious, non-vowed women and men, the answer will be unique to each individual.  For me, the answers come only in the moment, in each decision I make about how to spend my time.

As one who thrives on structure, I find comfort in the daily actions that reflect my Soul’s calling – morning meditation, yoga, time for reading and study, time to create, time to interact one-on-one with my spiritual friends (who I consider family), and time for work.  As I create time and space for these activities of BEING, I am finding the fruits of this permission-giving.  Time expands and I can accomplish tasks that I would normally procrastinate.  Joy steps in and makes itself a home.  Miracles happen and connections are made.  In giving myself permission to live my Soul’s own unique rhythm, a quiet and gentle flow has entered my life.

I love it.

That is not to say that the journey has been easy or that there won’t be consequences to the permission I am giving myself.  I have worked very hard to move through my fears, anxieties, unhealed wounds and societal conditioning to arrive at this place.  I had to set aside our societal dreams of fame, wealth, and success (as it is defined in our culture).  I have had to find a way to live as the working poor.  I have no savings and no investments.  I own nothing except the car I am slowly paying off. If these pronouncements make you feel uncomfortable – you understand what I have been up against in arriving at the calling of my Soul.  I have also been single and have had to learn how to be alone without being lonely.  In this, I have discovered contentment in my own company.  Who knew?

As for the consequences – these are for others to suffer.  Because of the commitment I have made to myself, I find that I have to say “no” more often then I previously have.  I already had pretty good boundaries, but now they are even more secure.  Many will not understand the container I am creating for myself and will take my no’s personally.  Some will then have to make me the enemy for caring for myself instead of bending to their will.  When we live in a culture that says it is our job to make other people happy and that everyone else’s needs are more important than our own, when we say yes to ourselves, and no to others, we are challenging the cultural norm and the conditioning in which many still live.  I have already experienced the clearing of relationships that happens when we choose ourselves.  Some would find this sad. What I have found instead, is that those who remain are closer and more intimate. There is a naked honesty, transparency and vulnerability that emerges because in each other’s gaze, we have nothing left to hide for the simple reason that we are no longer hiding from ourselves.

 

What would happen if you stopped hiding from yourself and gave yourself permission to live the life your Soul yearns for? 

 

 

Posted in self-actualization, spiritual awakening, Spiritual Development

Monastic in the Modern World?

After the Universe finally released me from the lead encasement, a new light began to shine…..a new (old/original) vision began to beckon.  Persistent as the fruits of the lead encasement is the word MONASTIC  and  being open to understanding what that means for me, a 54 year old single mother of two adult children who are still living at home, working a part-time gig at a ballet studio while trying to share my spiritual gifts and soul’s purpose in the world.  What does it mean to be monastic in the 21st century in the developed world?  I got that celibacy thing down (not by choice), but I am equally certain celibacy isn’t a requirement of the monasticism I am invited to embrace.

This idea of being monastic isn’t new to me.  In fact, as I recently learned, it is inherent in my life purpose.  The Sabian symbol for the degree of Capricorn under which I was born is known as “A Woman Enters a Convent.”  Hmmmmm.  I do not see a convent in my future.  Neither do I desire to live in community – not under one roof anyway.  Instead, this seems to be about applying a monastic intent and rhythm to my daily life and doing so in connection to my spiritual sisters and brothers who equally long for a gentler, quieter, more peaceful and more reverent way of being in the world.  There is also something in this about being of service – not in any pre-determined way, but according to our own unique gifts and calling.

This is the New Earth that beckons to me.  One that is of my own making based on the calling and rhythm of my Soul.  It is a counter-cultural lifestyle and one I was apparently born to live.  It only took me 54 years to OWN it (move through the societal conditioning that would tell me this is not favorable or possible), but now that I see it, there is no turning back.

If this is a yearning or lifestyle that is beckoning you, let me know.  Apparently part of my new earth is helping and supporting others in choosing this New Earth for themselves.  Email me and let me know what your yearning is and let’s see how we can support each other in making it happen!   lauri@authenticfreedom.love.  

 

Posted in building the new world, Inspiration, New World, self-actualization

The New World Beckons

The New World Beckons

The new world beckons

Inviting us to listen.

To hear the subtle depth of our Soul calling us home.

Home to ourselves.

 

Piercing through the cacophony of the dying world,

Drawing aside the veil of our fear-based conditioning.

All the ways “the world” distracts us from ourselves:

Temptations of fame, power, control, status and wealth.

Shiny objects begging for attention

pushing us toward the capitalistic lie:

“Hard work = Success”

(as it is measured by how much money we have, the clothes we wear

And whether or not we have our own “reality” show.)

 

Reality my ass!

It’s lies.  All lies.

That which we seek,

which compels the actions of every human being

cannot be found outside of ourselves

but can only be found within

in all the darkened places where our truth resides:

Beneath and behind our conditioning.

Within our fears.

Beyond the uncountable times our heart has been broken

By a “world” that rejects who we are…

A “world” that demands obedience, compliance, subservience…

And silence.

 

The New World beckons.

Our original world beckons.

Calling us out of the hell in which we’ve been living –

To the “heaven” that has been here all along –

for those with eyes to see, ears to hear,

and the courage to set their Soul free

To be who and how it was always meant to be.

Free.

Posted in Jesus, Magic, Mary Magdalene, self-actualization

Mary Magdalene and the Kabbalah

Beyond the trappings of pop-culture commercialization, the Kabbalah is an ancient and sacred system of mysticism firmly rooted in Judaism, whose origins may truly precede the culture which embraced and then formalized it.  Like the mystical beliefs and contemplative practices of Christianity, the Kabbalah has been guarded for centuries by those who could comprehend and responsibly employ her teachings and practices.  The Kabbalah is at once a theology (a study of and discussion about the Divine), a cosmology (an articulation of how the universe is ordered), and a developmental psychology (the study of human nature and how to support its development). The purpose of the Kabbalah is to support us in coming to know ourselves through our intimate understanding of and relationship with the Divine and to support us in becoming our most authentic selves. In this, the Kabbalah is at once a guide and a tool.

Unfortunately, human beings have twisted the meaning of the Kabbalah as something to use for their own personal gain – to get what they want by using the Kabbalah as a tool of magic.  This was and has never been the intention of the Kabbalah. While the Kabbalah can be thought of as a system of and for the purpose of magic, this is true only when we understand how magic is defined in the authentic Kabbalistic system.  The magic brought about through the proper study of and engagement with the Kabbalah is Union – Union with the Divine, Union with ourselves, Union with each other and Union with all of creation.  In this, our true Divine nature becomes fully embodied and fully engaged in our human form.  The earthly goal of the Kabbalah is Malkuth – what Jesus referred to as “the Kingdom of God.”

Kingdom of God, however, is an error in translation.  Being feminine in form, Malkuth can more accurately be described as the Queendom of God – or more accurately, The Bride.  The fulfillment of the Kabbalah is the revelation of the ineffable Source (Keter) through The Bride (Malkuth).  It is only in knowing and embodying The Bride that the Source can be known and fulfilled.  In the passion play lived out through Jesus and Mary Magdalene, Jesus was the Son (Tiferet) and Mary Magdalene was the Bride.

Mary Magdalene and her beloved Jesus provide the archetypal examples of the fulfillment of the Kabbalah.  Through diligent study of the Kabbalah and applying its principles in their lives, they ascended beyond the ignorance of the human condition to discover their true, Divine nature. They then brought that Divine nature into their human experience through the process of descent.  Through the process of descent, they faced their demons, unhealed wounds, past traumas, unacknowledged fears and societal conditioning so that they could fully embody LOVE, thereby fulfilling the mission and purpose of their Soul.  Mary Magdalene and Jesus both became fully Divine and fully Human which is the goal of the Kabbalistic process.

 

To learn more about the Kabbalah and it’s connect with the Magdalene/Christ story, check out The Order of Melchizedek Alchemist Training created and facilitated by Lauri Ann Lumby.

 

Posted in Healing, self-actualization, shadow work

Betrayal

In the journey of self-actualization and coming into our wholeness, old wounds often resurface so that another layer of healing and transformation may occur.  Journaling and writing poetry are two of the ways I support myself in processing these wounds – in this case, the wound of betrayal.  What are the tools you have used to heal from the many ways in which life has betrayed you?

Betrayal

Betrayal seems to me the most excruciating of all pain,

Perhaps more painful even than death.

For in death at least there is closure.

And we can bury our dead.

(Isn’t death, after all, a betrayer and a betrayal?

Perhaps betrayal IS the pain in death, more so even than the loss.)

 

But in betrayal, the betrayer becomes a living specter reminding us of our failure.

How could I not have known?

How did I not see it sooner?

Why did I put up with this for so long?

But alas, we likely knew and saw from the very beginning –

The signs and the red flags –

Heralds of truth we chose to ignore

for the sake of counterfeit love,

a relationship of convenience…

a means to an end.

 

Or because this was the only kind of love we had ever known.

 

The betrayer – forever taunting us in their ability to go on.

While holding our beating and dripping heart in their hands –

as a trophy.

 

Pride the betrayer’s sin.

Believing themselves above the laws of human kindness,

Above reproach

Ever justified in their righteousness.

Using our vulnerability as a weapon –

The soul we bared against us.

A cruelty beyond imagining.

Intentional.

 

No apologies.

No seeking after forgiveness.

In betrayal, the pure of heart are left to suffer

while the betrayer rides off triumphantly

seeking after another one to betray.

 

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