Posted in Authentic Freedom, Divine Masculine, men

Divine Masculine Course Bundle

Course Bundles are a terrific way to enjoy the courses you want at a discounted price. This bundle is specifically for the men in the crowd!  THREE powerful online courses for harnessing your Divinely ordained masculine strengths, while supporting you in naming, claiming and moving through any inner obstacles (fears or unhealed past wounds) that might be hindering your ability to live fully from your TRUE DIVINE giftedness.  When living from your Divine gifts, you will experience a life filled with meaning and purpose, fulfilling your own needs while being of service to the world.

Three online courses targeted to men for only

$279.00

(Over $100.00 in savings)

 

Course Bundle for Men includes:

 

The Hero’s Journey- Authentic Freedom for Men: Learn the seven core fears that prevent you from being your most powerful and fulfilled self, along with proven tools for moving through and conquering those fears.

Claiming Your Divine Masculine Power: The purpose of this course is to support you in claiming the Divine Masculine power that dwells within you. In this, we discard outmoded models of the masculine rooted in fear, power and control and wield the inherent masculine traits of compassionate and loving action, provision and protection that bring wholeness and balance to all.

Unleashing the Wild Divine Male with Gwyn ap Nudd: This course will be a guided vision-quest into the wilderness of shadow work. Through the archetype of Gwyn ap Nudd (Celtic Lord of the Underworld and God of the Hunt), you will be invited to identify and release all that stands in the way of your own Wild Divine masculinity – virile, potent, and a powerful activator of change.

 

 

 

 

Posted in Inspiration, men

A Love Letter to the Souls of Men

My dearest brothers,

I love you and I thank you.

This has been a difficult time in the ongoing journey of our human societal evolution and hurtful things have been said and done to both women and men. The terrible danger that arises when we cast the finger of blame is that those who are innocent suffer along with the guilty. Yes, some of your brothers are guilty – guilty of doing harm to women specifically, and guilty of doing harm to other populations who are vulnerable because of a culture that has been raised on the foundation of fear, power and control.

In honor of my first example of manhood – my father, Don Lumby. I love you dad!

But I know (we know) that NOT ALL MEN ARE GUILTY. In fact, the vast majority of men (at least among the men that I know well enough to make an assessment) would never think to do harm against women, children, or any other sector of our population who is not reaping the benefits of the power structure based in fear, power and control. Not only would you never think to cause harm to another – either intentionally or unintentionally, as it turns out you too are suffering from the current regime where the good and kind men are at risk of losing their man card for standing up on behalf of those who are suffering.  But even the treat of having your man card taken away has not dissuaded you from standing up against violence against women, children and other at-risk populations.  For this I thank you!

I also want you to know I love you! I love you for having the courage to step away from the herd by speaking truth to power.  I love you for defending the rights of those who are under your care and for those you do not know and may never meet.  I love you for using your Divinely masculine gifts of provision and protection to care for those you love and to support the needs of those who have not.  I love you for the example you set for the future generation of men – a model that supports equality among all genders, orientations, religion, race, nationality, etc. etc. etc. and a model that says “our world has value and in order to survive we must take care of our Blessed Mother Earth.”  I love you for the ways in which you empower your daughters to be the best they can possibly be in the world and supporting their dreams whatever those dreams might be.  I love you for treating your intimate partners with tenderness and for supporting them in the fulfillment of their dreams as they share in the fulfillment of yours.  I love you for having the courage to bare your soul – to risk being called “weak” because you might be afraid, worried, hurting or sad.  In this you are not weak, you are incredibly strong and I love you for your strength.

Thank you for being the warriors that you are – warriors that we desperately need at this time of volatile change. Thank you for coming forward as a voice against injustice and as a force for positive, non-violent change.  Thank you for being the great men you are – for having the courage to hold your guilty brothers accountable while standing proudly in your innocence!

I love you and I thank you for all you are doing to support healing and transformation in our world simply by your presence and for all little ways that you are making our world a better (not more violent) place.

 

All my love,

 

Lauri

Part Three of the Authentic Freedom Leadership Training for Men. Learn more by clicking on the image above.

 

Posted in Lessons, men, shame

ZERO Tolerance – what is wrong now WAS wrong then!

As the news began to pour in over the allegations of sexual misconduct by Matt Lauer and then Garrison Keillor, social media just as quickly filled with questions of disbelief.  I agree that we should all be innocent until proven guilty….but what I found to be most disturbing were the statements defending two “great men” who could not possibly have done what they were accused of.  Comments like, “well, if this is something that happened 10 years ago and is just surfacing now….maybe it isn’t so bad…or “so what if it was just a little tap on the ass….boys will be boys…”  I found myself dumbfounded by the comments seeming to defend or question the allegations brought forth against these men because 1) they seemed so nice, 2) everybody loves them, and 3) what we think of as wrong now wasn’t wrong then…..

Or was it?

What we think of as wrong now (sexual harassment, sexual misconduct, inappropriate touch, sexual assault, rape) was wrong then…..we were simply too afraid or too ashamed to say or do anything about it.

Like when I suffered sexual assault in college.  I never told anyone because 1) I was sure it was my fault in some way (isn’t that what we’ve been taught), 2) I was afraid, 3) I was ashamed. 4) I knew that with the rape culture at the University of Iowa being what it was in 1983, no one would do anything about it anyway and 5) Because I certainly didn’t want to go on trial.

I suspect the reasons I chose not to speak are the same for every single woman, child and man who has been sexually harassed, assaulted or raped and chose not to tell. Or maybe they did and were told, “Shhhhh….that’s just how Uncle Larry is. Forget about it and move on.”  Or “Boys will be boys.”  Or, “We don’t tell the family secret.” Or “But Father Henry is such a nice man.” Or “It must have been something you were wearing.” Or “Maybe you shouldn’t have drunk so much death punch…..”  Etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.  Followed closely by….NOTHING BEING DONE… except more shame heaped upon the victim.

I will say it again:  what we consider to be wrong now was wrong then and has been wrong throughout history.  Unless we are a sociopath, our deep inner sense of right and wrong tells us this is true.  It has never been right or appropriate for ANYONE to treat another human being as a sex object to be used for their own pleasure, most especially when the user is in a position of power or authority – no matter how much your parents, drill sergeant, football coach, boss or friends told you it was alright!  NEVER! Yes, we can deny the truth away all we want, or try to justify it because of the culture we are/were living in, but abusing another human being has never, ever, ever been right. PERIOD!

And it certainly doesn’t’ matter how many years have passed since the incident happened.  The victim is still suffering. It doesn’t matter how many years has passed since Father Henry made an altar boy perform fellatio on him, or when Matt Lauer acted in sexually inappropriate ways with female colleagues, assistants, fans; or when Donald Trump spoke in demeaning, sexual ways toward women……it was still wrong and it is appropriate that it should come to light and they be held accountable for what they have done. This is called justice. (Yes, there is a place for healing and forgiveness in all this….but for that to take place, the perpetrator needs to acknowledge their wrongdoing, make amends and do the hard work of healing whatever is unhealed within them that would cause them to inflict harm upon another in the first place.)

I also don’t buy the “but he seemed so nice” defense.  What the hell do we know about media-made, so-called celebrities?  THEY ARE ACTING!  Not only that but as is true for all of us, we tend to put our best face forward.  Just think of Bill Cosby, Bill Clinton, John F. Kennedy…..men in the spotlight who everyone thought was “so nice” when in fact they were men in positions of power who used their power to manipulate and use women for their sexual pleasure.  I don’t care how nice they are in every other circle of their life…if they have used women in this way, it is wrong.  PERIOD.

Before we move toward defending those accused of sexual misconduct….think for a moment of what it is like for the women (men, children) who are the recipients of these unwanted sexual advances…..as one who has been there, this is what it is like…..

Every time a man (or it could just as likely be a woman) makes an inappropriate gesture, touches us without our consent in a sexual or sexually suggestive way, uses sexual or demeaning words to describe us or speak to us, pats our butt, grabs our breast, thrusts their pelvis toward us, grinds up on our leg, grabs our hand and places it on his sexual area, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. a tiny little part of us shrivels up and dies.  A part of our soul recoils in disgust and then shame.  Because of the way in which our culture has normalized these behaviors we think we can’t say or do anything about it….and if we do say or do something about it, it is likely someone will roll their eyes at us or accuse us of “being too sensitive” or “not taking a joke.”  But every time we remain silent, we lose a little more of our power until eventually there is nothing left.

This is why we can no longer remain silent and why we must call for zero tolerance in matters of sexual misconduct or violence….and this goes as much for the women as it goes for the men.  Sadly women are not innocent in this.  For every man who uses a woman as a sex object there is a woman who uses her sexuality to manipulate and control men.  This also is wrong.  And that my friends, is a topic for another blog….

 

 

 

Posted in men, New World, self-actualization, women, world changes

A Man Speaking Truth

A HUGE Thank you to Bob Russo, a loyal reader of this blog in whom I have found a kindred spirit and spiritual brother and friend. Below is Bob’s beautifully articulated response to my recent blogs inviting the men to speak to the ongoing question of gender roles and how we understand the flow of the masculine and feminine within us.  Bob beautifully speaks what I could only hope to have the words to say.  THANK YOU BOB!  Following Bob’s words is my own response (warning:  transparency and feeling alert):

From Bob:

Hi Lauri,

I have been meaning to respond to your article on “Inviting Men to Join Us”. So, it feels good to finally get around to it. I tried to post this on your blog but was unable to. Hope you had a relaxing Thanksgiving.

My response may come across as “politically incorrect”. But, my intention is not to be insensitive to anyone but speak from my heart. And, I don’t claim that what I am about to write is correct – but only as I have perceived things over the years.

IMO, both the feminine and male energies are being compromised by the current attitude that exists in America. The women’s movement in the early 1970s was an effort by women to gain recognition for the gifts they have and can contribute in a male-dominated society. It was a comprehensive effort by women to gain the recognition and equality as human beings that they deserve, and an effort to assert control over their own lives.

Unfortunately, this movement encouraged women to become more “masculine” in order to be accepted in a “man’s” world. And in so doing, many of the graceful feminine qualities that are uniquely part of a woman’s makeup have been significantly discounted. Some of the qualities that I am referring to are motherhood, nurturing, protection (of children), intuition, feelings, space, receptivity, inwardness, softness, communication, compassion, and so on. I’m not saying that these qualities are only in women, no. But, it is my belief that they are more pronounced in women than men.

Regarding men, the current attitude in our society as to what it means to “be a man” has undermined the male energy as well. Society often equates “manhood” with such qualities as aggressiveness, overwork, materialism, strong egos, and war. This has caused a lot of confusion and disruption for many men today who are trying to find their place in this chaotic world. What’s been lost in this definition of manhood are many of the positive inherent qualities in men such as protection (of the feminine and family), provider, warmth, giving, consistency, vision, clarity, activity, analytical, and so on. Again, most women share many of these qualities with men. But IMO, they are more naturally a part of a man’s makeup than a woman’s.

We are witnessing a breakdown of both the masculine and feminine energy in our society, and consequently a major collapse of the family unit. Women are no longer honored for being mothers or care givers, for example, but are given high strokes when they are CEOs of a large firm or working 12 hours a day along-side their male co-workers. And, men are no longer praised for being good providers and consistent in their lives but given strokes for being more feminine and passive, or at the opposite extreme, for being aggressive and survivors of war. No wonder we’re so confused and messed up. We can only deny our inherent nature for so long.

As you know, each of us is comprised of both feminine and male qualities. It is this integration that make us the unique person we are. We become a fully-functioning man or woman when these qualities exist within us in a balanced way. As a man, I need to know when to hit the gas or put on the brakes. My long-term vision in combination with my wife’s intuition have provided us with a reliable road map during our marriage. When the natural qualities of both sexes work together, good things happen. It’s that simple! But, when they are out-of-balance or one dominates the other, like we are witnessing today, suffering and war result.

Bob Russo

 

My response:

Bob, YES YES YES YES YES!  You eloquently articulate the feelings that are living in my heart, that have been part of my own lived experience and exist in my deep inner knowing.  Thank you for speaking what I could not find the words to express.  This is one of the many reasons I appreciate your presence so much in my life!  Thank you!

As for being “politically incorrect,” the world in which we are currently living is humanly incorrect and our politics simply support this incorrectness.  Our job as prophets is to shine the light on what is no longer working so that something new may come into being.  We need to speak our truth for this to occur….so speak away!!!!!!  (Besides, I don’t find your words to be politically incorrect in the least, in fact they reflect a politic we SHOULD be embracing – IMO).

At the risk of being “politically incorrect” myself, I want to speak to what you wrote from my own lived experience.  When you speak of the devaluing of what have traditionally been considered the inherent gifts and calling of women, I agree there seems to be a correlation of this devaluing to the women’s movement.  I have often said that while the women’s movement was necessary (critical, in fact), there has been a damaging effect on both women and men because of it – for exactly the reasons you stated.  In my own lived experience, I have really struggled with this.  My deepest drive is to love, nurture, care for, heal, support, build connections, teach and form – tasks we traditionally associate with the feminine.  I have lived this out professionally and most joyfully in my role as a mother.  But NEVER have these gifts been valued. Neither have the masculine traits that reside within me.

First, we live in a culture that doesn’t value the work I do.  I have been expected to do this work for free and criticized for daring to charge for the services “their priest gives them for free.” Because of the structure of our society, most people don’t see value in the inner work of coming to know themselves.  Instead they would rather spend their money on things.  When in the Church I was condemned for daring to think for myself, stand up for my truth and for not being silent and obedient (the expected feminine role).  In my marriage none of what I did in my role as mother, running a household, managing two businesses, taking care of the details of medical appointments, bookkeeping, etc. etc. etc. was valued – it was simply assumed that I would and should do it because it was my job as “the wife.”  When I asked for help I was told, “It doesn’t bother me.  If it bothers you, you do it.” While doing all of this I was also expected to be provider but the work I did outside of the home wasn’t a “real job,” and therefore had no value and neither did the money I brought home from that job.  To say that I felt resentment for not being valued would be an understatement. (I have a deep scar on my forehead showing the effects of resentment not tended to.)  Now as a divorced, single, working mother of two, I find I have to do all of it and quite frankly I am frickin EXHAUSTED.  I am finding I can’t do it all and I don’t want to do it all!!!!!

I know I am not alone in this.  The current structure of our society does not value the inherently feminine as you so eloquently described:  motherhood, nurturing, protection (of children), intuition, feelings, space, receptivity, inwardness, softness, communication, compassion, and so on.  Neither does our culture seem to value the masculine as it resides within women.  As a woman, I long for the feminine and for the traditionally masculine qualities I embody (courage, strength, risk taking, independence, etc.) to be valued.  At the same time, having to take on too much of the masculine qualities (provision, protection, etc.) is killing me.  It works against my nature.  It has caused me harm.  When I am too much in the driving, striving, trying to succeed mode, I become ill.  So I find myself stuck between a rock and a hard place – longing to fulfill the feminine longings within me while exercising meaningful and fulfilling work in a healthy and balanced way that does not do harm to myself, while trying to provide for myself and my children.  UGH!  The cost of caring for myself in a disasterously dysfunctional and imbalanced world has been staggering.

And I feel for the men – for exactly the reasons you stated:

the current attitude in our society as to what it means to “be a man” has undermined the male energy as well. Society often equates “manhood” with such qualities as aggressiveness, overwork, materialism, strong egos, and war. This has caused a lot of confusion and disruption for many men today who are trying to find their place in this chaotic world. What’s been lost in this definition of manhood are many of the positive inherent qualities in men such as protection (of the feminine and family), provider, warmth, giving, consistency, vision, clarity, activity, analytical, and so on.

I have also seen the demonization of what we have been conditioned to think of as feminine in men – nurturing, caring, giving, healing, intuitive, etc.  I believe this demonizing has done great harm to men and caused them to ignore or suppress these traits as they find them within themselves.  I have seen the inner struggle this creates in men, especially in those who have been raised to be “manly men.”  This makes me sad.  We are clearly in need of a cultural overhaul…the likes of which we have never known!

As much as our culture wants us to believe we can and should be able to do it on our own…..WE CANNOT.  As much as our culture says that women and men should be able to do the same things and be equal in them, we cannot if we want to be healthy.  Looking at the current state of our culture we are anything but healthy.  We are doing a terrible disservice to ourselves and to each other in the values we have embraced as a culture and quite frankly, it is killing us.  Something’s got to give!

Or rather, everything’s got to give!  Every single way in which we have defined ourselves as a culture is currently up for evaluation – IMO, especially how we know ourselves.  I believe that in order to arrive at a healthier balance within our culture we first have to come to know ourselves.  As it relates to the masculine and feminine we need to come to know how those qualities are present within us and how those qualities are helping or harming us.  In order to do this we need to be REALLY HONEST with ourselves.  Are we (male or female) called to be provider and protector?  Are we (male or female) called to receive, allow, nurture, etc?  How are we called to do these things in a way that is healthy and supportive for ourselves and for those around us?  In this, it is not about male or female, masculine or feminine, it is about understanding what is unique within us as human beings, owning and valuing it…..both for ourselves and for others.  Maybe in doing this for ourselves we will begin to see the transformation in our culture that many of us long for.  And Oh My God…on some days it is sooo hard trying to live ahead of the curve.  😉

I know this doesn’t even scratch the tip of the iceberg of the healing we need in our culture and in our world……and THANK YOU Bob for your beautiful contribution to this conversation.  As ever it is unfolding.

 

Love,

Lauri

 

 

 

Posted in Beloved Partnership, building the new world, men, world changes

Inviting the Men to Join Us

Yesterday I wrote an article about Feminine Rage and the injustices that have been done to women at the hands of the current structure of our world which is rooted in fear, power and control.  While yesterday’s blog spoke on behalf of women, today I speak to (and hopefully for) the men.

Men, if you are not angered over the injustices that our world has heaped upon women (people of color, the disenfranchised, the sick, the poor, the elderly, etc.) then you should be. If not for the women, then you should be angry for your own sake. Because as much as women have suffered under the hands of a culture rooted in fear, power and control, so have you.  If you don’t believe me, ask yourself a few questions:

  • Where and how have you felt supported for your sensitive, vulnerable side?
  • Where have you been forbidden (or condemned) for expressing tender emotions – fear, sorrow, anxiety, love?
  • Where have you run from intimacy, fearing the vulnerability that comes with it?
  • Where have you been told to “stop crying,” or “boys don’t cry?”
  • Where have you been forced into situations of competition, violence, bullying and how did these experiences cause you discomfort?
  • How do you feel about picking up a gun and going off to war?
  • How do you feel about putting a gun in your son’s hand and sending him off to war?
  • Where do you feel pressure to drive, strive, succeed, achieve, and where do you feel as if your only value is based on how much money you make, what kind of car your drive or what neighborhood you live in?
  • Where have you been supported in exploring/cultivating your creative yearnings? Where have you been told, when entertaining your creative dreams, “There’s no money in that….”
  • Where have you experienced support and a vehicle for expressing all the inner areas of conflict within yourself?
  • Where have you been molested, assaulted, taken advantage of by one in a perceived position of power over you?

My dear, sweet men, you have a right to be angry about all the places in your life where you have been denied or felt as if you had to suppress your truth. The hierarchical/patriarchal/consumeristic/capitalistic world has done you as much harm as it has done to us – maybe more. As much as you have been told to “be tough,” “keep a stiff upper lip,” “be courageous and strong,” and that your value is dependent on what you have achieved (as it is measured in the terms of our society), this is not the whole of what it means to be a man.  While the Holy Masculine is about provision, protection, action and support, in order to experience wholeness, one also needs to experience the feeling of being supported, protected and provided for……and this is the role of the Divine Feminine.  This is the Holy Balance that our Creator intended and what we all long to experience in our world – if we are truly honest with ourselves and about the deepest longing in our hearts.

Men, this is what we as women long to be for you – the Divine Feminine to your Holy Masculine. As women, we have the potential for creating the space in which you might feel safe to lay down your sword and set aside your armor.  Where you are supported in feeling and expressing fear; where you are honored for your strength and your vulnerability.  Where you are uplifted, nourished, nurtured and restored so that you might go back out into the world to do the work you came here to do.  And while we do this for you, we long for you to do the same for us.

We are in this together….but we live in a world that seems to have forgotten this. Instead, we live in a world that has pitted men against women and women against men….and sadly, this is a world of our own making – not directly, but due to thousands of years of conditioning, and we are complicit in allowing it to continue.  Men are guilty for enjoying the benefits of male privilege, and women are guilty for allowing it while enjoying the benefits of powerlessness.  BUT it doesn’t need to be this way.  We have the power to change this, but we can only make this change TOGETHER.  Women acting alone cannot bring about a new paradigm of human partnership and collaboration without the men acting right here beside us.

So my dear sweet men, I offer you a question, an invitation and a question:

The Question:  What kind of world do you want to live in? One rooted in the Unholy Masculine defined by fear, power and control or one rooted in the Holy which honors and uplifts the unique giftedness among all human beings and draws from those gifts?

The Invitation:  If the world you would like to live in is not the world you are living in now, what would you like to do about it?

The Question: If you feel called to a more Holy expression of our world, who are the women you would like to stand beside in bringing this about?

Posted in Beloved Partnership, codependency, men, Relationships, women

The Plight of the Modern Woman in Search for the Modern Man

To all my magnificent single sisters: This one’s for you! 

womanalonelookingoverlakepexels

The Plight of the Modern Woman in Search for the Modern Man

Intelligent, independent, courageous and strong,

Beautiful, generous, thoughtful and kind.

Laughing with you over the Holy Grail.

Speaking your language of Tarantino, fantasy, adventure and sci-fi.

Tossing down pints and whiskey shots.

Cursing like a sailor.

And beneath it all, a quiet and tender heart

Where your fears can come home.

She’ll cook you dinner, rub your shoulders,

And make mad, passionate love to you,

freeing your mind from the worries of the day.

She’s the one you can come home to –

The one you can trust.

Satisfied in her own pursuits,

Seeking only to love and to know love in return.

How could you want for more?

And yet, she strikes fear in the hearts of many a man,

Because while she wants you more than anything in this world,

She’s not seeking completion from one who feels empty inside.

She’s looking for a true partner.

One who can stand on his own

And who in spite of his wholeness,

Chooses to be with her

Because together

They can change the world.

copyright 2016  Lauri Ann Lumby

From "you complete me" to Beloved Partnership (within ourselves and in preparation for with another).
From “you complete me” to Beloved Partnership (within ourselves and in preparation for with another).
Posted in Being Human, Boundaries, Inspiration, men, Midlife Journey, Relationships, women

Calling the Good Men!

Today’s blog was supposed to be Part II of a rant…..but I’m not feeling very ranty.  Instead, I’m feeling a deep love and appreciation for the men of our world and instead of calling them out for the sin of White Male Privilege, I am using this forum to invite the GOOD MEN to don their Superhero capes, or sport their swords and shields and STAND UP in defense of those who are suffering under the current cultural paradigm which hurts them as much as it hurts us!  

Goodmen

For the Love of Men

I absolutely adore men. I am one of those girls who always felt at home in the company of boys and later men. I (mostly) get men.  I appreciate their interests and sense of humor.  I love the unique gifts they bring to the world.  Many of my closest friends are male, not to mention the three most important men in my life – my father, my brother, and my son.  MOST men that I know are generous, kind, loving, thoughtful, supportive, providers for their loved ones and families and not only value, but honor women for their uniqueness and as their equals.  That being said, even the men I love most have benefitted from white male privilege and while they might not be actively participating in it, they are being affected by it and in a very sad sense, they are somewhat responsible if they are doing nothing to change the face of male privilege, especially the practices which make women and people of color victims of this privilege.  Today’s blog, specifically addresses some of the ways in which women suffer under this paradigm.  And as much as we (as women) fight, kick, scream and cry for things to change, sadly, nothing about this is going to shift until those in privilege – THE MEN, stand up and do something about it.

White Male Privilege

White Male Privilege is the current cultural paradigm which values male over female, white over any other race, masculine ways of doing things over feminine, masculine structures, logical thought processes and ways of doing over feminine systems, feeling creative processes and ways of being, hierarchy over cooperation.  etc.  White Male Privilege…or as my business partner, work-husband, and personal Boy-Wonder, Ted would say, “The Plight of the Slow White Male,”  keeps us in a system where women are still only earning $0.73 for every dollar earned by a man and where there is a complete lack of recognition, honor or pay for women who are tending the home, raising the children, preparing the meals, etc. etc. etc.   White Male Privilege is most acutely obvious in Institutional structures – churches, corporations, academia, etc. where the highest levels of leadership are owned by men and if not by men, by women who had to be like men to get there.  Women suffer under this paradigm, but so do men.  White Male Privilege puts an awful lot of pressure on men (and women who have had to become like men) to perform, achieve, and conquer, often at the expense of their deeper needs for nurturing, intimacy and time to simply be. For the purpose of today’s blog, however, I am inviting us all to recognize that if we are unhappy with the effects of White Male Privilege, it is the GOOD MEN who will have to STAND UP, SPEAK UP and do something about it.  So, Good Men, as you are donning your superhero capes, here are a few of my hot-button issues (now here comes the rant!  🙂 ).  And if you would like to know where else you might help, ask your wife, your girlfriend and your sisters, they might have some ideas.  🙂

  • “Blurred Lines”  Really?????  Here’s the deal……NO MEANS NO, and a drugged, drunk woman who does not have the capacity to argue is still saying no.  As a survivor of rape, I feel as if the only just punishment due a man who rapes a woman (or a child, or another man) is castration….but I’ll let the courts decide that one.  But instead of working to stop rape,  old white men are busy making laws that are further blurring the lines around what is defined as rape and how rape is tried and punished.  Unless the woman has fully consented, is willingly participating and enjoying the action….then it is rape….period.

Good Men, we need your help in changing the culture of rape and the policies that that blur the lines around what we define as rape and how rape is punished.

  • Birth Control – again….old white men making decisions about our bodies, our decisions to become mothers and how we want to do this.  Shouldn’t this be the woman’s decision or at least made within the privacy of an intimate, committed relationship?

Good men, we need your help with this!  Your female partners need access to medical services and medications that keep unplanned pregnancies rare and sex safe.  I’m thinking you have an interest in this as well!  🙂

  • Abstinence Education?  Are you frickin kidding me??????  Old, white men again.  Keep your legs crossed kids, and don’t have sex.  But if you do….it is the girl who is to blame, because boys are just sowing their wild oats.  I call FOUL!  Kids are having sex.  And some of them are children (under the age of 13).  The sooner we ADMIT this, the sooner we will work our tails off to provide education about contraception and prevention of STD’s.  There is a reason that Amsterdam has the lowest infant mortality and teenage pregnancy rate in THE WORLD!  It is because they acknowledge that their kids are having sex and they are giving them what they need to keep sex safe and prevent unplanned pregnancies.

Good men, we need your help with this.  I’m not saying we should condone sexual activity among our youth….I’m just saying let’s be real about it!  Keep our kids safe and unplanned pregnancies rare!!!!

  • Periods are gross – again, old white men in the guise of pharmaceutical companies providing pills that “stop your period.”  Ahem……women, we were meant to bleed.  It is natural and healthy.  Artificially preventing our natural cycle could have devastating and lasting effects.  Don’t trust what you see on TV or read in the magazine!  Belly up to the “Feminine Hygiene” isle and OWN your Red Tent time.

Good men, we need your help.  Support your female partners, daughters and friends in being comfortable with their bodies and all the functions thereof.  Speak out against campaigns that encourage women to stop these necessary biological functions.  Your voice matters here.

  • Menopause is a disease and something that requires medical (and psychological) attention and medication: Again, old white men deciding that the aging process is BAD (because is somehow negatively impacts their ability to be in control or to have great sex, or God forbid….learn to be open to emotional intimacy and vulnerability!!!!!).  The hormonal changes of perimenopause and menopause serve the benevolent purpose of birthing the uniquely creative life of a woman beyond that of motherhood.  It is through perimenopause and menopause that women really come into their true power and when embraced….we are a force to be reckoned with.  This is not the time to seek out estrogen replacement or bio-identical hormones to calm our mood swings, ease our tempers, erase our wrinkles or so we can remain “juicy” down there….it is the time to ROAR, SHOUT, SCREAM, all the gifts we have been suppressing so that the people around us would be “happy.”

Good men, if you are supportive, loving, understanding and encouraging of your female partners  through this process….I promise that you will have your reward – a happier, healthier, more fulfilled partner who might just want to rock your world.  🙂

The Bigger Truth Here

Now, everyone take a breath.  There is a profound lesson to remember here and on which will save all of us – women and men were BOTH created in the image and likeness of God and are at once equal and unique.  If we want a better world, we are going to have to learn how to uphold our equality while honoring the unique gifts that we bring to the table – the feminine ability to be generous, to allow and receive, to work toward harmony, to encourage collaboration, consensus and peace; and the masculine traits of working toward goals, striving for accomplishment and making things happen….and that these gifts are not entirely defined by gender!!!!!  And if you think we have a long way to go in our country…think about other parts of the world where women can’t even get an education, learn to read and write, hold a job, vote, etc. etc. etc.  Our work has just begun baby!

And to the Good Men:  THANK YOU.  Thank you for having the courage to acknowledge white male privilege and to see where it hurts not only those you love, but yourself as well.  And THANK YOU for doing your part to help change this paradigm so that we can work together in creating a world rooted in love, honor and respect for all and where peace and harmony reign!

Lauri Lumby, known as Wonder Woman to some, is just a voice crying out in the wilderness, hoping to make the world a more loving, peaceful place.  Thank you for adding your voice to the cause of love. 🙂