Posted in Being Human, Death, Inspiration

The Death of Our Dreams

For the last several days (weeks, months, years) I have been experiencing a deep and pervasive sadness. This is a sorrow that I have been unable to give a name to; neither have I been able to identify its source.  Until now….. After giving myself the time and permission to sit with this sorrow, exploring its depths, its name was finally revealed:

The death of every dream.

As I sit at this place in my life, I am realizing the difficult truth – every dream I had once had for my life has died (ok, not every dream, only the ones born of ego). I am nowhere near where I thought I would be at 54 years old when I embarked upon this journey of self-fulfillment some 26 years ago.  I am not a best-selling author.  I’m not rich or famous.  I have not been successful is reforming the Catholic Church or in starting a new way of being church.  Neither am I speaking Jesus’ message of love before thousands.  And I have definitely not met and am not living my once-dreamed of “happily ever after” with the elusive “Mr. Kelly.”  Finally, not one of the “new age” or “new thought” promises of abundance and prosperity have found their fulfillment in my life.

“Death” by Robert M. Place

As it turns out, I am not living a single one of the “American dreams.” Even more disappointing I’m not even living one of my own dreams. But then again, who is?  How many people do you actually know who got everything they wished for?  Not too many I suspect.  In fact, I bet many who say they are living their dreams are lying, and if they are living their dreams, they are not likely happy for it.

I remember when my parents hit this stage of realizing many of their dreams have died. I watched two of my dearest friends face the death of their dreams when their perfectly healthy 21 year old son died. I have watched three other dear friends face a similar death with the loss of their beloved partners to brain cancer. And just this week, another friend’s dreams died with her son in a deadly car crash.  Every day, thousands, if not millions or people face the death of their dreams.  I am convinced that this is the path of the human experience.  We dream.  Our dreams die.  And on the other side of the dream is the life that was meant for us all along.

The ancients call this alchemy. Christians call this redemption.  Jesus called it “the kingdom of God.” Throughout scripture Jesus speaks on this topic of leaving our worldly dreams behind so that we might fulfill the calling of the Soul.  Over and over he turns the table on the societal conditioning and ego-filled dreams of riches and fame (he had to confront these temptations himself) and invites us instead into humility.

Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, that a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven.

And again I say unto you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.

When his disciples heard it, they were exceedingly amazed, saying, Who then can be saved?

But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.

Then answered Peter and said unto him, Behold, we have forsaken all, and followed thee; what shall we have therefore?

And Jesus said unto them, Verily I say unto you, That ye which have followed me, in the regeneration when the Son of man shall sit in the throne of his glory, ye also shall sit upon twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel.

And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name’s sake, shall receive a hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.

But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first. MT 19: 24-30

 

What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? 37 Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? Mark 8: 36

 

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.  For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit them if they gain the whole world but forfeit their life? MT 16: 24-26

 

Do not love the world or the things in the world. The love of the Father is not in those who love the world; for all that is in the world—the desire of the flesh, the desire of the eyes, the pride in riches—comes not from the Father but from the world. And the world and its desire are passing away, but those who do the will of God live forever. 1 John 2: 15-17

 

As Jesus continually pointed out to his disciples, the world’s ways are not God’s ways and the things of this world will not lead us to peace, contentment, or love. The kingdom of God that Jesus came to know within himself and then tried to show others how to attain, cannot be found through worldly gain or through what the world values as “success.”  Instead, it can only be found by moving past worldly aspirations and then emptying ourselves of any and all attachments we might have for worldly things – riches, fame, success through doing, accomplishments, goals, achievement, possessions, positions of power or status, etc. etc. etc.  Only when we are empty – completely empty – like Jesus was on the cross – are we able to find that Oneness that defies reason and understanding.  Only in setting aside the things of our ego can our Soul step forward, leading us to the life we were always meant to live before taking on all these attachments.

For myself, this means another layer of ego-death. Acknowledging the death of my dreams.  Sitting with the loss.  Allowing myself to grieve.  And then, walking on.  As I step out of the ash left by my dying dreams, I will enter into a new world.  No longer encumbered by the weight of these dreams, I will be free to receive the new life that is intended on the other side of this death. Kinda like enjoying my very own Easter.

What dreams have died for you?

How are you creating space for yourself to grieve the loss of those dreams?

How are you supporting yourself in being open to the new life that will come forth once you lay your dying dreams to rest?

Posted in Inspiration

Empty Vessels

Empty Vessels

copyright Lauri Ann Lumby

  

“The empty space makes it useful” – Tao Te Ching Chapter 11

Mind open to knowing and understanding.

Eyes open to seeing.

Ears open to hearing.

Mouth open to speaking truth.

Heart open to loving.

Arms open to reaching and embracing.

Hands open to receiving and sharing.

Hips open to dancing.

Legs open to standing.

Feet open to moving.

Spaces between perceptions of form – holding the being.

and in the emptiness of this being –

All are One.

 

Lauri Ann Lumby, self-actualization, finding ourselves, finding meaning, finding purpose, personal missionLearn and explore with Lauri.  Learn more HERE.

Posted in Authentic Freedom, Empowerment, Inspiration, women

Dragons and Feminine Power

This week, we’ve been unraveling and debunking the patriarchal degradation of symbols of feminine power. We started the week with Eve and continued with the serpent.  Today, we tackle the dragon.

In biblical lore, the dragon is cast in the role of demon – devil, Lucifer, Satan, the Leviathan, the dragon who carries the Whore of Babylon and the one that threatens the woman standing “with the moon at her feet” and her newborn child. To the patriarchy, the dragon represents evil, temptation, sin, and the threat of eternal damnation. But why?  Why is the dragon cast in this role of death and destruction?

My sense is that this association between the dragon and temptation has more to do with the patriarchy’s fear of feminine power (their own feminine power) than it does with a literal demon seducing us into sin. When we look at the ancient cultures that preceded the warring patriarchal hoards, we see nothing but a benevolent relationship between dragon and human beings.  In Chinese culture, for example, the dragon represents abundance, wealth, and good fortune; and with its Yin counterpart, the phoenix, portrays the perfect harmony intended between male and female in intimate partnership – each supporting and elevating each other in their unique giftedness. Even in Chassidic Hebrew beliefs, especially in the mysticism of the Kabbalah, the dragon (as a serpent) is welcome as the inner force that awakens us, that carries our true power and which leads us toward embracing and harnessing that power so that we might fulfill our Soul’s mission.

Gnostic Tarot of the Saints by Robert M. Place Llewellyn Press

It is in Christianity where we see the most damning portrayals of the dragon – most notably the dragon that wishes to devour the holy child, thereby thwarting the Divine purpose of liberation. But here is something interesting, in Christian iconography, we see contrasting images of the dragon and its role in the human journey of transformation.   St. Michael the Archangel holds his sword aloft poised at the ready to pierce the dragon’s heart, thereby destroying the source of temptation.  St. Margaret, on the other hand, does not fear or resist the dragon when it swallows her, instead, she walks steadily through the perceived darkness, finding her way to the light and in doing so, discovering the untapped power within her to move through her fears so she could discover and live her truth.

There is a profound lesson in the story of St. Margaret for all of us – that which we perceive to be our demon, our dragon, our “darkness” is not there to destroy us, neither is it meant to be destroyed. Instead, the dragons in our lives are meant to be welcomed for it is in and through our challenges that we find our strength.

This is the secret power of the Divine feminine and that which the patriarchy has attempted to destroy – the power to stand in the darkness and through the darkness finding our way to the light – even if that means (most especially when it means) staring death itself in the face. As every true queen knows, the dragon is not to be destroyed. Instead, we are invited to meet it face to face, harness its power and let it carry us.

Posted in Inspiration, Spiritual Formation, spiritual healing

The Spiritual Life Review

At the juncture between what has been and what is coming into form, it is not uncommon to experience a “Life Review.” I have experienced the life review as a flood of memories and feelings of where I’ve been.  I think of it as the final purge before a new life is ready to begin.  The best response to a life review is to be with it – allowing the memories and emotions to flow through – without getting attached to or hung up on them, but simply allowing them to move through.  Sometimes there is an emotional release (rage, tears) that come through the life review – and that is also ok.  We need to feel our past in order to let it go.  The following is a poem I recently penned while experiencing my own spiritual life review:

Life Review

As the life review presents itself, I let it wash over me –

Feeling into where I’ve been

And where I am today.

A wholly different person.

Cleansed of my resentment, hatred and rage…

No longer fixated on changing a broken and dying world.

Secure in who I am –

a unique expression of God’s love in the world.

I am love.

Sent to bring forth a new world:

One built on love – not fear.

Knowing the journey begins within.

The change starts with me.

Healing myself of past

woundedness,

trauma,

perceived failure,

disappointment,

worry,

fear.

In forgiving my past, transforming shame into Love.

Witnessing all the ways I’ve been told I had to be

Anything other than me.

And letting that shit go!

Freeing myself of the patriarchal world’s definition and formula for success;

Knowing the only real success is in being myself –

Sensitive.

Vulnerable.

A little bit broken.

Resilient.

Courageous.

Generous.

Loving.

Kind.

One who finds meaning in the simplest things:

An autumn walk in the woods.

The scent of a baby’s head.

The quiet of winter mornings before dawn.

A warm cup of coffee.

The loving embrace of a friend.

The laughter of my children…

and who wishes only to be Love and to walk gently through this life.

 

 

Where have you experienced your own life-review? What tools have you used to support yourself in that review?  What were you able to glean from that experience?

Posted in detachment, Inspiration, Surrender

Wiping the Slate Clean

I have spent the past two weekends in DEEP CLEARING mode. Doing my year-end bookkeeping, deep cleaning my home, and yesterday I spent all day gathering and completing paperwork for a process that will free me from something that has held me prisoner for the past 7 (or s0) years.  It is time to be FREED from the past to make way for the new.  Beyond the material, this has also been a time of deep inner clearing – facing, identifying and healing wounds from the past, letting go of attachments to certain ideas, plans, fixations, etc. and listening deeply for what might still be cluttering my ego and which is yearning to be freed.  All of this has been for the purpose of making room for the new to step in.  As I have been diligently tending to the process of wiping the slate clean, I am finding the new peeking out from around the corner waiting to be seen.  I see you and I welcome you!

Wiping the slate clean is a process we are all invited into from time to time. When what has been is proving to be no longer life-giving, it is time to let it go.  When things from our past have become a burden or an obstacle to our forward movement, it is time to let them go!  When we are clinging to old hurts, betrayals, wounds, etc. we cannot move forward until we let them go.  The same is true of our ego attachments – attachments to fame, money, power, etc.  In order to fulfill the Divine plan for ourselves (our Soul’s plan), we first have to be cleared of anything and everything that is not in harmony with that plan.  It is time to wipe the slate clean.

But wiping the slate clean isn’t always easy. We have become comfortable and familiar with what has been.  Comfort, however, does not equal freedom.  And our Soul demands freedom!  Sometimes what our culture tells we “must do to be successful” is not in harmony with our Soul’s path so we must let that go, while facing the sure judgment of those who cling to the culture’s definition of success and how to get there.  Going against the flock is never easy – and yet in the path of the Soul it is almost always necessary!

Let me give you an example of this from my own journey. For years I’ve been told that I need to “be famous,” “be on Oprah,” or at the very least on Ellen.  In order to be successful, I need to take my show on the road – get out there and do all those big workshops famous people do (you know the ones you pay thousands of dollars to attend and then the only one getting paid is the promoter?).  I’ve had people promise to “make me famous” and that the key to my success will be travel.  Well, here’s the deal folks……after a bizarre virus in 2015, I cannot travel.  I cannot drive for more than an hour (sometimes 90 minutes) without becoming very ill.  It then takes several hours – sometimes days for my inner equilibrium to return. It isn’t car sickness.  It isn’t panic attacks.  No one seems to know what it is and even after 18 months of physical therapy for “vertigo” the symptoms are still the same.  There is no long distance driving travel in Lauri Lumby’s future.  But beyond this limitation that can certainly be worked around (hire a driver, fly, etc.) what my Soul has said to me VERY LOUDLY and quite succinctly is “BLOOM WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED,” while showing me all the people right here in good ole Oshkosh, Wisconsin who are in need of my gifts.  And it’s time. It’s time to stop hiding in my home and get out into the community sharing my magic.  (something I am already doing on a daily basis informally….but now it’s time to do it more formally).

Wiping the slate clean requires that we diligently tend to all those things that are currently in the way of us pursuing and fulfilling the path of our Soul. As we recently explored in my Order of Melchizedek course, the plan our Soul has for us is far beyond what we could ever imagine for ourselves:

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Posted in Healing, Inspiration

Longing to be Loved

The deepest longing of the human heart is to be loved – specifically to be loved, accepted and valued for who we are and for the unique gifts we offer this world. One would think that this would be the easiest thing to accomplish – especially considering that we have an unconditionally loving God and parents who love us – right?  (I’ll let you answer that one yourself!)

The degree to which we know ourselves as loved, accepted and valued for who we are and for the unique gifts we offer this world is directly proportional to the love we are shown in the early years of our life. For many, if not most, the love that we are shown in these formative years is limited at best.

For most, the first experience of love comes from our parents. While our parents are undoubtedly doing the best they can, they are only able to show love to the degree it was first shown to them. If they were abused as a child, criticized or condemned, or led in any way to believe they were anything less than love, the love they are able to show will be limited by these past experiences.  This is true unless before (or during) their experience of being a parent they acknowledge the ways in which they experienced the limitations of love and healed the resulting wounds, thereby freeing them to show even more loving acceptance of their children because they now love and accept themselves. Additionally, every person has their own love language and their own unique temperament and the combination of these embodied by our parents might not be the language we need to hear to know we are loved.  Finally, our parents are a product of their conditioning and what society said at the time was “good parenting.”  (ie:  it isn’t all our parents’ fault!)

The same is true of our “god.” If the religion in which we were raised preaches a god of infinite love and then crafts rituals and practices which reinforce that love, then we are golden!  Here we know of a god who is loving and kind, generous and merciful and the tribe to which we belong treats us as such.  For many, if not most, this has not been the case.  Instead, the talk of god has been confusing mix of love and punishment, mercy and retribution, praise and shame, etc.   This leaves us feeling anxious and confused and wondering where we sit with that which we call “God,” and the people who preach this “God.”

The same is true of our culture. We feel loved, supported and valued for who we are and for the unique gifts we bring to the world when we are raised in a culture that values diversity and then provides the necessary support in which the seeds of our gifts might mature and bear fruit.  For most, this has not been our cultural experience.  Instead, we are expected to conform to a culture that needs us to fit into tight little boxes where we can be controlled, all the while feeling rejected for who we truly are and the authentic gifts we have to bring to this world.

The same is true of our friends, co-workers, peers, etc. etc. etc. We will only experience the feeling of being loved, honored, supported and valued to the extent that they feel this love themselves.  Sigh!

With all of this collective woundedness, where does this leave us? This leaves us among the several billion human beings longing to know love.  This is the collective wound of the human experience – the gaping wound of emptiness and longing where love is meant to dwell. But, we need not remain in this place of wounded emptiness and longing.  Fortunately, there are those who have gone before us who have successfully found their way through the labyrinthine journey that leads to love.  By following their example and adhering to their guidance, we have nothing to lose and everything to gain….

Full content reserved for Plus, Premium and Premium-Plus Members. Click here to learn more on how you can become a member and enjoy the tools that have helped me in my own journey.  Find an example of what is available in the full content HERE.

Posted in Inspiration, Lessons, Spiritual Development, Spiritual Formation

Behold I Make All Things New

Happy Solstice! Happy Yule!  Happy Hanukkah!  Merry Christmas!  Joyous Kwanza….and happy whatever else you are celebrating this time of year!  Here is my holiday gift to you!  The (dot)Love weekly newsletter FREE FOR ALL (usually available for (dot)Love Plus members only).  Please enjoy!  If you find it meaningful, pass it on.  If you loved it, consider signing up for a Plus membership.  Now….without further ado:

Remember not the former things,
nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

IS 43: 18-19

There could not be more joyous words to hear than these words from Isaiah, which are then repeated throughout scripture and then brought into fruition in the Book of Revelation. As we approach the end of 2018, these could not be better words for the many I know for whom 2018 has not been the greatest of years.  Many I know have experienced 2018 as a year of suffering, struggle, great challenges and most of all – death.  Physically and metaphorically, 2018 has been a year of letting go = letting go of loved ones, letting go of things we have known, letting go of things we thought we knew about ourselves and our mission and purpose on this plane.  2018 has also been a year of financial difficulty for many I know – whether it be due to staggering medical bills, funeral costs, job loss, or just plain old struggle.  It seems that no matter where we turn, 2018 has been a year of having to face physical, material, tangible struggle and hardship and learning to find ways through it – or not.  Regarding the “not” I know that for many, 2018 has brought with it the desire to QUIT – for some out of despair, desperation, frustration or just plain exhaustion – and for those who have been paying attention – the desire to quit because what used to be is quite simply no longer life giving and needs to be set aside to make way for something new.

And the something new is coming. Or rather, it is already here! Do you not perceive it? We are at the place in our planet’s movement around the sun where the new is being born!  No matter your beliefs, the Winter (for the north) and Summer (for the south) Solstice is a time of great celebration.  Whether we are celebrating the sun at its highest point (Summer solstice) or the birth of the sun which ushers in the end of the dark days, the world over has something to celebrate!  Spiritually, we are at the threshold of a new year and our entrance into a new world – for those who have eyes to see and a heart to believe.  But, in order to truly receive the new that is promised, we have to let go of the old.  This we have done over and over and over in 2018, but now, we are invited to REALLY LET IT GO and to BELIEVE that IT IS DONE!

It is done! Whatever suffering or difficulties you experienced in 2018, LET THEM GO!  But more than this, we are invited into an even deeper letting go.  This is a letting go that requires an intellectual understanding, a willingness to change, and belief that change is possible.  It goes something like this:

Intellectual Understanding: There is a little thing that psychologists take for granted and quantum physicists consider as doctrine: We are conditioned by what we have known. Whatever experiences our life has held for us forms who we are while also forming our expectations about what life has in store for us.  If we have experienced poverty, we expect poverty.  If we have felt rejection, we expect rejection.  If we have felt abandoned, we expect abandonment.  If we have been betrayed, we expect betrayal.  Do you see where I’m going with this?  We are conditioned to expect what life has handed us, and most often, we expect nothing more.  Not only do we expect what has been, we become emotionally addicted to the chemicals that are produced in our brain that come forth out of these experiences – the anxiety, worry, frustration and victimhood of poverty, the self-loathing or rejection or abandonment, the shame of betrayal, etc.  We become addicted to these “negative” emotional states, and until we know better, we unconsciously seek out life situations where we are certain to have experiences that will give us our emotional drug.  Gross, right!?  But, it doesn’t have to be or remain this way….because today I am going to offer you something better:

Willingness to Change: Scripture is going to help us here – Remember not the things of the past! God meant this when S/he spoke these words through the prophet Isaiah and again through all who echoed his words.  In these words, our Divine Parent is reminding us of one of the only two things that are certain in the human experience: death and CHANGE.  What has been is not always what will be.  In fact, it is quite certain that what has been WILL NOT BE what will be.  In the immortal words of the Byrds while quoting the book of Ecclesiastes:

To everything turn, turn, turn,

There is a season turn turn turn

And a time to every purpose under heaven…..

We are here to fulfill God’s purpose. We are here to fulfill God’s will.  We are here to bring forth the kingdom of God which Jesus knew as Oneness and which John the Evangelist spoke of as LOVE.  We are here for the single purpose of knowing the love that we are and then being that love in the world.  #chooselove!  BUT…in order to be that love, we first have to be freed of the things of the past – our old wounds, our past conditioning, our unacknowledged fears, ego attachments and anxieties.  We are not free to be the vessel and vehicle of God’s unbounded love as long as we are holding ourselves prisoner to our past.

We need to stop re-membering (putting these experiences back into our body) all the suffering we have experienced. We need to make a conscious choice to CHANGE and let go of the patterns of what we have known (a process we might call forgiveness) – along with our emotional addictions to it – so that something new might come in taking its place.  This change moves beyond the intellectual, and invites us to literally take on a new body – replacing the body conditioned by fear, abandonment, rejection, betrayal, shame, etc. and allowing LOVE to take its place.  It is that simple…..and yet it is also that profound.  Just like love!

Belief: As many are aware, I am not a fan of either “The Secret” or “the Law of Attraction.” I cannot believe in a universe that punishes us for our thoughts – many of which we have no control over.  As one who has experienced anxiety, depression and panic attacks, I can attest that we are not in control of our thoughts.  Our mind is simply our mind, casting out thoughts in an attempt to help us feel safe.  Our thoughts do not have the power to dictate our life circumstances.  I can also attest that I can think great thoughts about that million dollar house on the lake I think I want, but if it is not in my highest good to possess that house no thoughts in the world will make that house mine.  Thoughts (alone) do not dictate our world.

Beliefs, however, do. As it relates to the invitation to change, when we believe that we can change the impact that past unpleasant experiences have had and continue to have on us…..then we can most certainly experience that change.  It doesn’t mean we will get that million dollar house on the lake, but it will mean that we are no longer prisoners of our past experiences.  We are now free to be the love we are meant to be in this life and in being that love, reminding others of the unbounded love that they are as well.  And if we struggle with belief (as many of us often do) or are plagued by doubt about the possibility of healing and change, scripture helps us here too:  When a man approached Jesus seeking healing for his son, Jesus said:

“If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.”  To which the father responded:   “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9: 23-25)

Our loving Divine parent understands the fragile nature of the human condition and is always there to help – especially when the help we most need is with our struggle to believe.

Receiving the New

As we allow ourselves to identify the past patterns and beliefs through which we have been conditioned and consciously work on releasing/healing/transforming them, we are now free to receive the new. As a friend just recently reminded me, when we empty ourselves of that which is not made of love, LOVE (another name for God) rushes toward us, excitedly filling those spaces made empty by our healing efforts and intentions.  When we are filled with Love/God instead of our past suffering and pain, AMAZING things begin to happen.  Instead of feeling like prisoners of our past, we are carried toward the path/mission and purpose that God/Love intended for us and which is in our highest good.  Not the life that our limited minds can imagine – but a life far beyond what we could ever imagine for ourselves – a life born out of, made from and living only from a place of love.  Who wouldn’t want that!?

 

Suggested Spiritual Practice – Emptying to be Filled

The suggested spiritual practice for this week is an adaptation of the Tibetan Buddhist practice of Tonglen. In and through this practice, you will allow yourself to heal/transform and be freed of “the old” so that you can be ready to receive “the new.”

Set aside 20-30 minutes to complete this practice, knowing that you can return to this practice again and again and again as the need arises. You will also need a notebook or journal and a writing utensil for this practice.

Begin by creating a quiet space where you can be free from interruption. Turn off your cellphone; make sure that all other devises are silenced.

Begin by reflecting on your past. What are some of the negative or painful experiences that you have had in your life that have caused you to feel:  abandoned, afraid, rejected, ashamed, jealous, guilty, anxious, despairing, betrayed, etc.?  As these memories arise, list them in your notebook or journal.  Record the experience and the feeling associated with it.

After your mind runs out of memories, go back through each one reflecting on how these experiences are coloring your current expectations. How have you been conditioned by your past experiences to expect these negative experiences to continue?  Where are you expecting to be betrayed, rejected, abandoned, etc.?  Record your thoughts and reflections in your notebook or journal.

Now, with your journal in hand, you are invited to enter into a powerful healing process through which you will consciously release the experiences of the past while creating space for new and better things to take root in you.

Begin with any of the experiences you listed. Drawing the experience to mind, allow yourself to FEEL the feeling that lodged in your body as a result of that experience. FEEL the feeling, and then take a moment to identify where in your body you might be feeling this emotion.  You might find it is in your neck or shoulders, in your lower back, in the center of your abdomen  – or any other place in your body.  Once you have identified where you are feeling the feeling, breathe into the feeling  – directing your thoughts and intentions for healing into the place in your body where this feeling is held.  Breathe into the yuk, and then breathe out LOVE – believing and intending that as you breath into the yuk, the pain is being broken up and as you breathe out LOVE you are giving it release.  Continue with this practice until you feel freed of that past experience and the conditioning that happened because of it, knowing that as you are clearing your body of the yuk, you are making room for love or peace or hope to take its place.  Once you have completed work on that single experience, move on to the next one of your list.  Continue this practice until your allotted time is up.

After completing the practice, observe how you might feel differently in your body. Do you feel more free?  Do you feel lighter, more peaceful?  Do you feel more optimistic or energized by a new-found hopefulness?  Observe these new feelings and BELIEVE that they are here to stay.  And WHEN (not if) you feel your own conditioning trying to sneak back in, return to the practice you just completed above, remembering that this is a practice you can return to whenever the need for healing arises.

Remember not the things of old….

behold YOU (have the power) to make all things new!

Please share your thoughts, feelings, questions, experiences with this week’s lesson in the comment section below.

 

Wishing you a very happy holiday season and blessings for a joyful new year!

 

Love,

Lauri

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Inspiration, Lessons

Getting Out of Our Own Way!

Scripture has all kinds of great things to say about the Divine’s plan for us:

Jeremiah 29: 11 – For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare (often translated as “prosperity”) and not for harm (also translated as “woe”), to give you a future with hope.

Romans 8:28 – We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.

John 15:7 – If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask for whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

And on….and on….and on…. Scripture is filled with passages that tell us the good God has in mind for us, along with the prosperity and abundance we will enjoy because of how much God loves us.

These scripture passages have been used by many to paint a rosy picture of what it looks like to receive God’s blessings – that all we have to do is “think the right thoughts,” hold the proper beliefs, belong to the right Church. Then there are those who instead of painting a rosy picture, describe something threatening instead – how we will only receive God’s blessings if we follow a certain set of rules, follow the prescribed doctrine, and do what we are told (without asking questions).

While these approaches work for some, this is not what scripture truly says…

Yes – scripture says that God’s plan for us is far greater than what we could ever imagine for ourselves. BUT…..scripture also says that in order to participate in God’s plan for us, we have to GET OUT OF THE WAY.  In order to participate in the Divine plan for our life and to fulfill our Soul’s mission and purpose in this life, we have to set aside what we think we know, let go of our own plans, and pry our cold and dead fingers from the life that has become familiar but likely no longer serves.  We have to do what every 12-stepper knows, “Let Go and let God.” For the fragile ego, who thinks it is in charge and that it needs to be in charge, this is perhaps the most difficult of all things to do.  In this, we are invited to embrace the words of scripture that are often forgotten in our haste to enjoy the abundance of God:

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Posted in Inspiration, world changes

The Grand Test

(rated PG)

This is the grand test. If you, like me and like all those to whom I minister, and my brothers and sisters on this journey) are here to support the birth of a new world…..things are getting INTENSE!  If we thought it has been rough before…..hang on to your hats!  This, as they say, is where the rubber meets the road. And it is entirely (in the worlds (words) of one of my mentors, Lauren C. Gorgo), “an inside job.”

It goes something like this:

  • Shit happens.
  • We find ourselves triggered (fear, anxiety, anger, rage, self-righteousness, grief, overwhelm, helplessness) by the shit.
  • Then we DO something about the shit.

BUT….it is not about going “out there” to change things. Oh no! It is about going WITHIN to identify the unhealed wound in ourselves that is being triggered by the shit “out there.” Then it is about doing the work we have practiced soooooo long to heal and transform that wound.  Meditation.  Prayer.  Chanting. Reiki. Shamanic healing practices. Movement. Journaling.  Etc. etc. etc.  Now it is time to get out all of our tools and USE THEM to heal ourselves.

Then as soon as we heal one wound, another shows up to take its place. This current cycle of transformation is RELENTLESS.  It keeps coming and when we think we can breathe a sigh of relief, it comes again. This is the real shit!

The energy is relentless because time is of the essence. We are quickly approaching the death of the old world paradigm and the new world is getting ready to take its place.

But it sure doesn’t feel like the promise of new life right now. It feels like death….because that is exactly what it is.  The death of the patriarchy and of all of humanity’s wounds related to patriarchal fear, power and control.  We are transforming these wounds within ourselves – not only for ourselves, but for the sake of the whole entire world.  It is like Christian theologians say about Jesus – “he took on the sins of the world and died for the sake of those sins.”  Personally, I no longer belief that Jesus died for our sins as some sort of sacrifice, but when put in the context of transformation, I can see how this is true.  In moving through his own pain and fear of separation and transforming that in the resurrection, he did the same for all of humanity.

This is what we too are called to do. Again, not as a sacrifice….but in saving ourselves, we are supporting the salvation of our world.  When we heal ourselves of our patriarchal wounds, we are supporting others in the same healing.  Soon, the patriarchy will no longer have the power to trigger our fears and our fears have been healed.

BUT….knowing all this does not make this RELENTLESS Intensity any better. It is excruciating.  Jesus Christ, it is hard.  And yet, the only way out is through.

This is the grand test. It is the Universe (our Soul) asking us again, “Are you sure you’re up for this?  Wouldn’t you rather just fold and go back to the life of blissful ignorance you enjoyed before waking up to your Divine gifts and calling?”  On many days, I can assure you I want to say yes to blissful ignorance.  But as soon as I think that’s the choice I’m going to make, my SOUL steps in on my behalf and pulls me back onto the path.  It seems, we don’t really get to say no.  Like it or not, we are here for a reason.  We signed up for this.  We don’t get to quit.  (dammit!)

So brothers and sisters – put on your big girl/boy panties. Tighten your boot straps and get to work.  Stay true to your path and do not let the “devil” take you from your path.  We are in this together and if you forget this truth….reach out to those you know who LOVE YOU, who value your gifts, who appreciate your vulnerability and who will hold you in your fear, anguish and pain until you are ready to once again hold yourself.  YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Money is one of the grand tools used by the Patriarchy to manipulate and control us through fear.  Heal your money wounds and be free of this conditioning:

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Posted in Inspiration

The Lies We’ve Been Told about Money

For thousands of y ears, we’ve been deceived about the meaning and value of money. With the advent of patriarchal culture, the overall message around money has been:

Pay or be punished.

Pay or be killed.

And the more subtle: if you don’t spend money on this item, you will not be loved (because without it you are not pretty enough, skinny enough, fashionable enough, successful enough, etc. etc. etc. )

Whether propagated by our feudal lords, rulers and kings, the government or the Church, (or advertising) the message has been the same – you will be punished or killed if you do not pay those who are “over” you. When patriarchy destroyed the existing egalitarian norm, money suddenly became a tool for manipulation and control wrapped in a cloak of fear.

This was not the original intention of or use for money. In an earlier time, money was created simply as a means of exchange – specifically as a way for one person to say:

“Thank you for the product of service I have just received in support of my needs and here is something through which you can express thanks to the person who next provides a product or service in support of your needs.”

Money was simply a way of saying “Thank you,” while supporting the next person in doing the same. In this money was not the “price” or “cost” (words implying punishment or deprivation) of goods and services, it was an offering of gratitude and support for those who were supporting others in getting their needs met.  This model reflected mutuality, along with a fair exchange.  Here no one suffered lack because the money continued its movement from one individual to the next as people shared their unique gifts with those meant to enjoy them.

As we continue to move through the death of the patriarchy, perhaps money and our relationship with it is one of those things we are being invited to transform.

 

What are your beliefs/attitudes around money?

Is your relationship with money rooted in fear or gratitude (do you feel pressure to pay your bills and fear around those payments or are you writing your check from a place of gratitude for the services given?)

Reflect on how you spend your money. Where do you see yourself feeling pressured to purchase things you do not really need, instead of channeling your “offerings” toward that which you actually need or would benefit from?

How are you being invited to transform those beliefs from punishment to gratitude?