Posted in Authentic Freedom, Inspiration, self-actualization

Coming Home (to ourselves)

Since giving myself permission to embrace the monastic lifestyle that has been calling to my Soul, some interesting things have happened.  In short, I have never in my life felt so secure in myself.  I feel content, grounded and whole.  It is as if every scattered part of myself, every fragmented part of me has been drawn into wholeness. It seems that the decision to embrace my own unique form of monasticism created a magnet that simply drew every part of me into a state of wholeness within myself.  In making this commitment to myself, I have come home – home to myself.

Home.

Coming home (to myself) came about through the simple and singular act of permission.  After 54 years of struggle, I gave myself permission to BE who I have always meant to and yearned to be.  With that, all the struggle simply fell away.  It is obvious to me that the 54 previous years has been a constant leading toward and unfolding of this simple, inevitable moment of permission.  Everything I have done; all I have been through and every single tool and practice I gathered along the way provided the support I needed to acknowledge and accept this calling in a world that would have me doing everything but.

In a world where we have no models or examples of regular, ordinary, working folk embracing a monastic lifestyle, it is a commitment we must live into.  What does it mean to be monastic in the regular ordinary world?  For non-religious, non-vowed women and men, the answer will be unique to each individual.  For me, the answers come only in the moment, in each decision I make about how to spend my time.

As one who thrives on structure, I find comfort in the daily actions that reflect my Soul’s calling – morning meditation, yoga, time for reading and study, time to create, time to interact one-on-one with my spiritual friends (who I consider family), and time for work.  As I create time and space for these activities of BEING, I am finding the fruits of this permission-giving.  Time expands and I can accomplish tasks that I would normally procrastinate.  Joy steps in and makes itself a home.  Miracles happen and connections are made.  In giving myself permission to live my Soul’s own unique rhythm, a quiet and gentle flow has entered my life.

I love it.

That is not to say that the journey has been easy or that there won’t be consequences to the permission I am giving myself.  I have worked very hard to move through my fears, anxieties, unhealed wounds and societal conditioning to arrive at this place.  I had to set aside our societal dreams of fame, wealth, and success (as it is defined in our culture).  I have had to find a way to live as the working poor.  I have no savings and no investments.  I own nothing except the car I am slowly paying off. If these pronouncements make you feel uncomfortable – you understand what I have been up against in arriving at the calling of my Soul.  I have also been single and have had to learn how to be alone without being lonely.  In this, I have discovered contentment in my own company.  Who knew?

As for the consequences – these are for others to suffer.  Because of the commitment I have made to myself, I find that I have to say “no” more often then I previously have.  I already had pretty good boundaries, but now they are even more secure.  Many will not understand the container I am creating for myself and will take my no’s personally.  Some will then have to make me the enemy for caring for myself instead of bending to their will.  When we live in a culture that says it is our job to make other people happy and that everyone else’s needs are more important than our own, when we say yes to ourselves, and no to others, we are challenging the cultural norm and the conditioning in which many still live.  I have already experienced the clearing of relationships that happens when we choose ourselves.  Some would find this sad. What I have found instead, is that those who remain are closer and more intimate. There is a naked honesty, transparency and vulnerability that emerges because in each other’s gaze, we have nothing left to hide for the simple reason that we are no longer hiding from ourselves.

 

What would happen if you stopped hiding from yourself and gave yourself permission to live the life your Soul yearns for? 

 

 

Posted in building the new world, Inspiration, New World, self-actualization

The New World Beckons

The New World Beckons

The new world beckons

Inviting us to listen.

To hear the subtle depth of our Soul calling us home.

Home to ourselves.

 

Piercing through the cacophony of the dying world,

Drawing aside the veil of our fear-based conditioning.

All the ways “the world” distracts us from ourselves:

Temptations of fame, power, control, status and wealth.

Shiny objects begging for attention

pushing us toward the capitalistic lie:

“Hard work = Success”

(as it is measured by how much money we have, the clothes we wear

And whether or not we have our own “reality” show.)

 

Reality my ass!

It’s lies.  All lies.

That which we seek,

which compels the actions of every human being

cannot be found outside of ourselves

but can only be found within

in all the darkened places where our truth resides:

Beneath and behind our conditioning.

Within our fears.

Beyond the uncountable times our heart has been broken

By a “world” that rejects who we are…

A “world” that demands obedience, compliance, subservience…

And silence.

 

The New World beckons.

Our original world beckons.

Calling us out of the hell in which we’ve been living –

To the “heaven” that has been here all along –

for those with eyes to see, ears to hear,

and the courage to set their Soul free

To be who and how it was always meant to be.

Free.

Posted in Inspiration, Mary Magdalene

Mary Magdalene’s Plea to the World

My whole entire life, there is only one thing I have ever wanted from you…and that was to be heard.

To have my needs heard so they could be met.

Not just the basic needs for food, clothing and shelter…

But the deeper needs:

  • The need to feel loved.
  • The need to feel safe.
  • The need to feel seen and accepted for who I really am…..all of me.
  • The need to feel supported in all I hoped and dreamed for…especially my vision for the world.

 

To be heard beyond the physical hearing to the deepest levels and to feel held and supported there:

  • when I was afraid but too afraid to speak it.
  • when I was feeling alone but dared not admit it.
  • when I felt abandoned, rejected, condemned but thought I might die for revealing it.

When I was puzzled because I didn’t fit in, for the simple “infraction” of daring to speak the truth.

 

To be heard beyond that which is carried by sound:

  • when I felt the excruciating pain of being an outsider and the loneliness of always having to find my place in another new world.
  • when I was poor and in need of help.
  • when I was excruciatingly alone in those years of abuse, where I was silenced and scorned …and when it frightened me to death.
  • during the many nights I cried myself to sleep knowing I was completely and utterly alone with not one soul to help me, but myself.
  • during the decades of existing in this world only by the sheer force of will.
  • during the dark days when it took every force of that will to pull myself out of bed to face another dark day.
  • when I found the courage to choose another path, but was terrified nonetheless.

In those fleeting moments of joy when the world stood still and for just that single moment all was right in the world and I could shout to the world that the words he spoke really were true and that everything was indeed made of love.

 

During the excruciating heartache and loss that nearly broke me a second time…but which against all odds I survived….and after that loss, having to find a new path with absolutely no map to guide me, in a world that was unable to hear the voice of a woman who spoke only the words given to her which were the words of love.

 

But now, centuries have past and I find that my desire still remains. In a world that is deaf to the call of love, seeking only words that flatter and praise, in a world that has turned its back on the intuitive sensibilities of women, preferring the warring talk of men, in a world that seeks after the material, condemning anything that might speak of sacrifice so that the needs of all might be met, I find still all I really want is to be heard:

 

To be heard for who I am.

To be heard for the gifts I bring into the world

And to be heard for the message of love that was once shown to me and that I was asked, in the most painful moment of my life, to carry forth into the world.

 

Will it be in this lifetime that I am finally heard or will humanity perish because of its inability to hear?

 

Read more of Mary Magdalene’s secret teachings in my book Only Love.  Click on the image below to learn more. 

Buy it now on Amazon
Posted in Healing, Inspiration

Cease from Blaming. Look to the Cause.

“It’s Donald Trump.”  “It’s guns.”  “It’s video games.”  It’s mental illness.”

Here we go, pointing the finger of blame at all those things outside of us that must be the reason a young white man killed 26 and wounded 20 in a shooting spree in El Paso.  Here we are, entering into the human knee-jerk reaction to violence – “it must be someone or something’s fault.”  Pointing the finger of blame does one of two things:

  • Places the burden of blame “out there” on someone else’s shoulder.
  • Gives us the illusion of innocence which allows us to go about our day.
  • Allows us to mask our grief and fear with self-righteousness.
  • Allows us to turn away from the event because if it is someone else’s fault, then someone else is responsible for fixing it.

Pointing the finger of blame does nothing to heal the problem.  Neither does it do the critical work of identifying the TRUE CAUSE of violence in our world.  The true cause has nothing to do with Donald Trump or any other politicians. It has nothing to do with guns or the NRA.  It certainly has nothing to do with video games.  And while mental illness has been a contributing factor in some of our nation’s mass shootings, when someone drives 9 hours and walks into a Wal-Mart wearing noise cancelling headphones and carrying an AK-47, he knows exactly what he is about to do and why.  Hatred is not a mental illness.

The truth is that WE ARE ALL TO BLAME for the hatred and violence that now seem to rule our nation.  As scripture says, “We reap what we sow,” – what do we think will happen when we have done everything to create separation in our world and nothing to bring us together?  But even then, we need to cease from blaming and instead look deep within ourselves for the cause and then work toward its cure.

As long as we are looking outside of ourselves or pointing the finger of blame, the violence in our world will continue.  The cause of violence is not outside of us, it is within. It is within us in our unacknowledged fears, unhealed wounds, unresolved traumas and in every single place within where we have forgotten that we are love.

The true cause of the violence and hatred in our world, and the cause of every other “sin” is the false perception of separation.  This false perception of separation is the core wound of humanity.  It is the primal fear that we first experienced when we were expelled from our mothers’ wombs and it is the fear that grows every single time we feel rejected, betrayed, unheard or unseen.  When our needs are not being met or when we are not supported in getting those needs met, we feel this fear.  When we suffer our first loss, we feel this fear.  When we experience trauma or abuse, we feel this fear.  This is the nature of the human condition.  Some have the tools for moving through and healing this fear.  Most do not.  We become resilient in the face of this core wound of humanity when we grow up in an environment where we feel safe and loved.  Many in our world do not have the benefit of experiencing this kind of love.  As a result, many (most) of humanity are the walking wounded – trying to make it through this life while burdened by the ongoing feeling of separation and fear. This is what breeds the violence in our world.  People.  Guns.  Video Games, etc. are merely vehicles through which these unhealed fears find their expression.  If we want to end violence, we first have to heal our fears.

Authentic Freedom Academy is here to support us in learning how to choose love in a world conditioned by fear.  We do this by providing education and training in identifying and then healing the fears that might otherwise cause us to act in non-loving ways toward our world, toward others and toward ourselves.  Learn more HERE.

 

Posted in Inspiration

Independence Day Message

Today in the US, we commemorate the signing of the Declaration of Independence, the day when the US citizens declared their freedom from British rule. Of course things didn’t end there as the Revolutionary War had only just begun and continued to be fought until 1783. It took a little over 7 years for the US to actually gain its independence.

But, as we all know, the “war” for freedom continues. Here at Authentic Freedom, we are concerned about the any limitations to human freedom in our world, but more importantly, we acknowledge that TRUE FREEDOM can only be known from within. Authentic Freedom is defined here as a persistent and enduring sense of peace, contentment and joy that is INDEPENDENT of the external circumstances in our lives. This truth has remained self-evident throughout human history – women, men and children who have been able to find peace within themselves even in the face of some of the most dire experiences of the human condition. They found this peace by detaching from the externals and drawing their attention within…..deep within in their connection with Self (that which some call “God”).

My invitation for us today is three-fold:
1)To continue our work on cultivating inner freedom.
2) To read and reflect on the documents which set forth the ideas of freedom in our country and in the world.
3)To pray for all the people in our world who are suffering because of the infringements on their own personal freedom and dignity.

http://www.ushistory.org/declaration/document/

https://constitutionus.com/

https://www.un.org/en/universal-declaration-human-rights/

Posted in Inspiration, Mystics, New World, self-actualization, world changes

Where Do We Fit?

I find myself moving through an incredibly deep transformation.  I am taking a risk and sharing this with vulnerability and transparency in the event it might speak to you on some level.

I have to say that transformation is not quite the right word for what I feel is happening.  It is more like an unfolding….or a remembering…..or perhaps a reclaiming.  In this it feels as if I am birthing a new world for me and through me.  (if the bloated feeling in my belly is any indication, this new world is ENORMOUS  J  ).

In this unfolding/birthing, I am coming more and more in contact with this plain and simple truth:

I was not made for the 3d world. 

What do I mean by that?  I mean that none of the things that are valued in our externally focused world have value to me:

Money, fame, power, status, material possessions, driving, striving, achieving.

None of it.

As it relates to relationship: I am not looking for someone to complete me. Neither am I interested in partnership simply for the sake of having an “other,” or to fill a void because I’m afraid of or uncomfortable with being alone. What the 3d world offers in the way of relationship is simply not for me – there is something bigger and better that has been planted in my Soul and I will settle for nothing less.

In short, I have never felt at home in a world that values the externals and pressures us to seek after something “out there” for fulfillment.  Neither have I felt at home with all the things we are expected to “do” to achieve these external goals.

The goals of this world are not my goals, and I’m tired from 54 years of trying to fit into a world or find acceptance in a world where I do not belong.

I often feel like I came here from somewhere else and someone forgot to pack my survival suit. But more importantly (or perhaps more accurately):

I sometimes wonder if I’m here – not to fit into this world but to birth something new in its place – if not for the world, at the very least for myself.  Because if there is one thing I do know it is that birthing a new world begins by birthing a new world for ourselves. Others can play along if they want to – but that is up to them.  The other truth is that the only thing that truly matters is what we do for ourselves.  If we can’t do it for ourselves, then 1) how can we expect others to and 2) if not for our own work, how will others know what is truly possible?

So here’s the crazy idea……if I could birth any kind of world through me, if I could live in any kind of world, what would it look like?

For me, this world begins with my Divine calling.  (and maybe birthing this world IS my calling).

I have come to understand that my Divine mission and calling is LOVE and that there are many ways in which I live out that calling.

  • Just by being me. I see this most when I am “out and about” – going to yoga, grocery shopping, running errands, picking up my daily coffee at the New Moon.  I smile and am kind to the people I meet.  I strike up friendly conversations when appropriate.  I perform little niceties like bringing a local business owner a cup of coffee “just because” and sharing posts and endorsements about local businesses when I have a chance.   I have seen evidence that just being me has a positive impact on the people I meet.
  • Being a Mother. That part is easy. My kids are amazing and all I had to do is love them, see them for who they are and support them in being that. I feel like the luckiest mom on the planet to have been given two such amazing humans to love and I am more and more in awe of them every single day!
  • The public stuff. My website, blog, books, online classes, etc.  All of this is me being me and sharing my gifts in the world.
  • The secret stuff. This is the piece that is becoming more and more apparent and more and more urgent and persistent.  My daily meditation practice – that’s obvious.  What’s not obvious is the deeply healing and transformational work I have been doing for the world – but for which I have not given myself ANY credit.  This is the work that takes me off my feet and sometimes lays me out. Those days where I am feeling and bearing the weight of the world – not because I’m thinking about it, but because it has made a home in me.  The days my whole body hurts, my ears are ringing and I’m dizzy from what in the world is asking to be transformed through me.  The unexplained migraines, full body pain, emotions that are not my own, fatigue, exhaustion….the list of symptoms goes on and on and one but there is one thing that has become increasingly clear:

There is no medical reason for the symptoms I am experiencing.  This is the YUK of the world seeking healing, transformation and release; and I am one of those called to support that healing. If you are reading this, you might be one as well.

Birthing this new world for and through myself means honoring who I am called to be and what I am called to do as holy, sacred and of value and creating the space in which all of this can be. This will be no small task as the 3d world has no space for any of what I am bringing forth. It is for this reason that it feels to me as if I am birthing a new world – to bring forth who I am and what I am called to do, there needs to be a world to receive and support that.  It seems that as I am called to more fully birth myself I am also birthing the world in which I fit.

Weird.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Inspiration, Jesus, Spiritual Formation

When Approaching Scripture – Perspective is Everything

…when it comes to scripture; there will always be disagreement – especially if we are looking for objective truth. But again, this was not Jesus’ goal; neither should it be our own. For the purpose of our spiritual growth and development, all we can look for is how scripture is reflecting or revealing our own truth.  Case in point, the scripture passage below can be taken any number of ways, depending on our point of view, or on the agenda of one who is interpreting this passage for us.  Let’s start with a single line:

“Whoever loves me will keep my word, and my Father will love him.”

For some, this passage points to exclusivity. God will ONLY love those who keep Jesus’ word.  For others this passage speaks of reward and punishment.  IF we keep Jesus’ word (what word exactly are we to keep?), God will love us, implying that if we do not keep Jesus’ word, God will no longer love us.  This one tiny line from John’s gospel has been used for two millennia to establish so-called Christian privilege and to justify persecution, condemnation and even the wholesale slaughter of “non-believers.”  Is this really what Jesus meant in these words?  If we believe that Jesus’ overriding message was of Love and of a Divine parent who loves without condition, then no, Jesus could not have meant these words to privilege anyone or to deny anyone of the unconditional and unmerited love of God.  But human beings, through their limited perspective chose otherwise.

The above is an excerpt from my (dot) Love weekly message.  Full content reserved for Plus, Premium and Premium-Plus Members. Click here to learn more on how you can become a member and enjoy the tools that have helped me in my own journey.  Find an example of what is available in the full content HERE.

Posted in Inspiration, Lessons, Spiritual Development

Shhhhhh

Do you hear it? Me neither.  It is the deafening silence that occurs after the old has imploded upon itself, after that which is no longer life-giving has passed away in the fire of transformation, after all that remained of our old lives has turned to dust, and after we have been emptied of anything and everything that has been tested and shown to no longer support the life we were born to live.  This is the silence that happens after the old life has passed away and before the new is ready to be born.

Shhhhhhh. Remain still.  Refrain from trying to make things happen.  Cease from doing and tasking.  Resist the temptation to return to the old and familiar activities simply for the sake of creating movement.  The movement that once served is the movement now that will destroy.

Shhhhh. Be still.  Enter into the silence.  Be with the stillness.  Dive deeply into the discomfort of the unknown. Make friends with impatience, restlessness, longing, and boredom.  Surrender to the pain of death and the excruciating darkness of the unknown.

Shhhhh. Be still.  Be still.  Be still.  And listen.  It is in the silence you will hear the whispering of the new life as it is preparing to be born.

Shhhhhh.

 

Posted in Freedom, Inspiration, women

Abortion is Not the Issue

I have really been struggling as to how to respond the recent wave of violence being done to women as it relates to our reproductive rights. The U.S. Constitution is clear, and yet individual states (and insurance companies) have been slowly picking away at our access to choice.  Abortion has become the scapegoat in a centuries-long quest to deprive women of our natural born sovereignty over our own power.

The truth of the matter is that abortion is not the issue. The issue is a system of fear, power and control made to support the wealth of those in power while imprisoning the rest of humanity.  The abortion fight is merely a smoke screen for something far-more insidious and evil about which we should all be concerned.  But as long as we are having the abortion argument, we are distracted from the real matter at hand – the freedom and liberty of all human beings that are slowly being stripped away from us by the powerful few.

But let’s talk about abortion for a minute. Having been raised Catholic; I once proudly waved the pro-life banner.  That was until I realized that “pro-life” only meant anti-abortion as I watched so-called pro-lifers favor the death penalty and political positions that ignored the needs of the poor, the hungry, the homeless, the otherwise powerless. I have seen those same persons who vote for the pro-life candidate, vote against access to health care and empowerment programs for women, children and those suffering poverty.  These same pro-life voters continue to support the death of innocents both in our country and abroad by supporting war, ignoring the needs of the mentally ill and by refusing to step forward in rational conversations about reasonable gun policies.  They want to support the rights of the unborn child while ignoring the needs of that child after it is born.  This is not pro-life!

This is where I became pro-choice. How can we support the unborn child without caring about how it will survive after it has come to term?  How can we favor the unborn child over the millions of people in our world who are starving, homeless, and without access to adequate medical care?  And why is the unborn child of greater value than the mother who is asked to birth….and then provide for it? I’m not saying abortion is the ideal choice, I’m not sure I could make that choice if faced with an unplanned pregnancy.  For some, however, it may be the only choice when faced with a world that is adamant about bringing life to birth but completely unconcerned about the care of that life thereafter.

Abortion is not the issue. Abortion is a symptom of a system that has gone terribly awry.

Abortion would become rare and mostly unnecessary if we lived in a system that:

  • Provided quality sex education and access to affordable birth control so that unplanned pregnancies would become rare.
  • Guaranteed access to quality pre-natal, maternity and post-natal care.
  • Guaranteed access to affordable, quality healthcare.
  • Provided paid maternity and paternity leave in support of the mental, emotional and physical health of the family.
  • Ensured that the basic needs of the family were being met – food, clothing, safe housing, access to medical care, etc.

If the mother is unmarried or not in partnership with the father of the child:

  • Enforced paternal financial support of the unborn child and if the child is given over to the father for support, that he receive adequate financial support.
  • Access to education, gainful employment and quality childcare so the mother (or father) can work (if they have to…..and mostly likely they will).

But sadly, none of this is being done and the supports that have been there are quietly (sometimes not so quietly) being stripped away.

Women rarely choose abortion because they want to; they are forced into this choice by a system that does not support them or the child they are increasingly being forced to bear.  Putting laws in place to prohibit abortion will not stop abortion.  It will only make it more dangerous.  If we truly want to stop abortion, we need to work toward reforming the systems that put women (and men) in the position of having to make this choice in the first place.

(If you haven’t figured it out yet, there is an even more insidious reason for those in power wanting to prohibit abortion. It is not “to save a life.”  It is to keep more women and children poor and therefore dependent on the system that put them there in the first place. Grrrr)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in church, Inspiration

A Temple Not Built by Human Hands

For thousands of years, human beings have been building temples to their gods. From the humble beginnings of forest shrines, to the temples of the East, to the gargantuan medieval cathedrals and in more modern time, the mega-church complexes, human beings have designed and built external structures to house, to reflect, and to give worship to their gods.  In many belief systems the believers were required to offer sacrifice and worship within the walls of these temples so as to earn the favor of their god.  For some, neglect of these obligations is met with threats of eternal damnation.

These temples were built to represent an external god. God was either thought to be in the temple – either contained within its walls, within its tabernacle; or at the very least, it was only in the temple where god could be met.  The walls of the temple were meant to keep gods in and non-believers out.  Some belief systems have even created rules where those who don’t believe, or those within the faith who aren’t considered worthy because they have not completed the prescribed atonement rituals or sacrifice are not truly welcome.  Keeping gods in and the undeserving out.  All of this rooted in the belief that as human beings, we are separate from God.

Jesus taught otherwise. Raised Jewish, Jesus learned and followed the prescriptions of his faith.  He listened to the stories of his ancestors.  He studied the words of the prophets.  He memorized and followed the law.  He was a good Jewish boy doing what good Jewish boys do.  But, as the stories seem to imply, Jesus heard and experienced something beyond the surface layers of his Jewish faith.  He did not simply attend synagogue on Saturday to fulfill his Sabbath obligation.  It is likely that somewhere in his journey with his Jewish faith, he came upon the more mystical studies of his tradition.  Here he discovered a God that was not only in the temple.  He found a God that was not in a heaven light years away.  Likely through contemplation, meditation and prayer, and through the guidance of others who had come this way before him, he found a God who was not “out there” but dwelt deep within Jesus’ own being in a state he called “Oneness.”  Jesus discovered that the kingdom of God was not out there, but was within him in this state of Union where he experienced peace, contentment and bliss. John the Evangelist later called this experience Love.

For Jesus, the temple became something not outside of himself. Rather, he came to understand that he was the temple – that we are all the temple.  God is in us and we are the temple of that Divine Spirit.  The mystical traditions of Judaism (the Kabbalah) affirm this.  We know and understand this when we do the work Jesus did of healing ourselves of all that which seems to separate us from God – fears, false perceptions, ego attachments, old wounds, etc.  This is the work Jesus (likely) learned through his own Jewish faith, which he accomplished for himself and when he then went on to (try to) teach his disciples.  Some got it.  Some did not…..

 

Full content reserved for Plus, Premium and Premium-Plus Members. Click here to learn more on how you can become a member and enjoy the tools that have helped me in my own journey.  Find an example of what is available in the full content HERE.

 

Learn the Kabbalistic principles practiced by Jesus through the Order of Melchizedek Training: