Posted in About Lauri, spiritual gifts

Punished for What I See and Know

This past week I realized a grave truth.  For my whole entire life, I have been punished for what I see and what I know.  I guess this goes along with coming into this world with gifts the world does not understand, let alone honor or support.  The result of this lifetime of punishment (as the punishment continues) has been that for the most part, I choose not to share the depth of knowledge I am able to grasp based on what I see and understand because I know the consequence of that sharing.  People don’t really want to know the truth. I am also aware of a deep level of shame that has been heaped on me as a result of my gifts – the unconscious (and unspoken) feeling that there must be something wrong with me for all the times I have been punished for simply being me.  As the gift and myself are One, not only is the gift “wrong,” there must be something wrong with me too – for having and (gasp) daring to share (or just being) my gift.

But here’s the deal, I have rarely “shared” my gift.  I don’t walk up to someone and say, “Here’s what I know about you just by being in your presence.”  I have found that I don’t have to articulate my gift for people to “feel” its presence.  It is more a gift of presence and awareness than one that is shared.

Here’s the true confession: my gift is the uncanny ability to “read” people – a gift I have learned is 100% accurate.  The best way I can describe it is that I have the ability (I’m not sure I can even call it an ability as it’s not something I can “turn off”) to see into people’s Soul. I see beyond the appearance of the person into who they truly are.  In this, I am able to see their TRUE SELF, along with all they try to hide from the world.  It is really less of a seeing than a feeling and hearing. I see/feel/hear their fears and secret motivations.  I also see their deceptions – both the lies they tell the world and the lies they tell themselves.  I know when someone is being authentic and when they are living a lie.

Rarely in my life have I given words to these feelings, but people almost always know they are being “seen.”  This is what has gotten me into trouble and where the punishment has taken place.

Let me give you a concrete example:

  • I don’t know how I knew or what I saw or felt that told me this, but I knew there was something not right about my kindergarten teacher.  I never said or did anything about that knowing.  I was simply a regular 5/6 year old trying to figure out how to do this thing called school.  But, for no reason whatsoever, my teacher HATED me!  She essentially confessed this to my parents at conferences saying she didn’t know who had won at the end of the day, her or me. Apparently kindergarten is a battle?  Because hindsight is 20/20, I now understand she hated me because on some level she knew I saw her.  I saw her for who she really was – an emotionally unstable woman who had no business being in the classroom as she taped my mouth shut and locked me in a closet, and who threw another student into a fish tank which then shattered, exploding its contents all over the classroom!  She was crazy and I knew it….and she knew I knew it. So I was punished both literally and figuratively by her hatred of me.
original art by Catherine E. Case. Used with permission.

This punishment has been the theme of my life.  Seeing the truth where truth does not want to be seen and then people hating me because on some subconscious level they know I see their truth – a truth they are either hiding from themselves or from the world.  This punishment has been present in every single area of my life – with family, peers, teachers, in work environments, in the Church, etc. etc. etc.  Me just being me (I can’t NOT see what I see) and people hating me because of it.

Admittedly, possessing this gift has made it difficult for me to be in and around people.  I can’t shield my gift (neither would I want to) and apparently people can’t not feel themselves being seen.  On a deeply personal level, being out in the world for me, is kind of like going into a war zone, never sure of what of other people’s feelings will be coming at me. The good news is that not everyone is afraid of being seen.  For those who know themselves and who are comfortable with who they are in the world (who have nothing to hide), my presence is a gift.  Under my gaze, they experience the feeling of being SEEN and this makes them feel good. So I’m careful.  I go where I know I am safe and stay away from places where people hide (like in Church). I also spend a lot of time alone and am very careful with whom and how I share my space.

While I can guard my interactions with the world, the place I cannot is with the people I care about.  It’s one thing to see that someone I hardly know is not the person they are pretending to be, it’s another thing to see and know what is happening in and around the people I love.  For those closest to me, no shielding is required as we have cultivated the kind of relationship where we are able to be honest with ourselves and honest with each other.  There is a mutual transparency and respect that allows space for us to call each other out on our crap (because there are times we are all guilty of not living our truth or taking responsibility for our unhealed wounds and fears).  But for others, this is not the case.  Couple this with the knowledge that we are all here to walk our own journey and it is not my job to interfere with a lesson someone needs to learn.  I can’t really walk up to someone I know and say, “Hey, I’m not sure this is the person you want to marry,” or “if you continue along this path it will end in disaster.”  Yeah, I could tell them, but either they won’t really hear me or they will hate me for telling the truth.  In addition, who am I to deny someone of the lesson that relationship or experience will provide?

So I’m quiet.  I watch.  I wait.  I’m honest when asked.  But ultimately, I leave people to their own devises.  And I do a LOT of self-care.  The biggest piece of self-care I am invited to right now as it relates to simply being me is FORGIVENESS.  Intellectually, I know there is nothing wrong with me for possessing these abilities.  It is not my fault that many people don’t really want to be seen or that my presence triggers the unconscious shame they feel for living a lie.  Neither am I doing anything wrong by just being me.  I can’t help what I see and I know and I couldn’t turn it off if I tried (and neither should I).  On an emotional level, I am aware of the pain of being hated for simply being me.  It hurts to have people hate me just for being me.  It is here I am thankful for the spiritual practices and tools I have that allow me to heal myself of this pain.  Tonglen and Ho/oponopono have both proven especially helpful in the journey of healing as it relates to owning my gifts and transforming the pain that has arisen out of simply being me.


faith, self-actualization, testing our faith, practicing our faith, discernment, spiritual gifts,


Posted in About Lauri, building the new world, End of the World Prophecies, self-actualization, spiritual gifts, world changes

The Weight of Responsibility

As a first-born, Capricorn and recovering perfectionist, responsibility has always been my middle name. Whether imposed upon me (by command or circumstance) or simply chosen because it’s who I am; I have always been “the responsible” one.  Lauri can be counted on.  Lauri is honest.  Lauri has integrity.  Lauri is strong, courageous, a hard worker, efficient, and gets things done.  Lauri takes good care of others.  Lauri is responsible.  I would agree that all of this is true most of the time.  But there is a whole other layer of responsibility that I have felt beyond the day to day “getting things done.”  This is a worldly/cosmic/universal/ responsibility that I have never been able to give words to – until now.

This morning, on The Cosmic Path ( this was offered as this week’s Capricorn horoscope:

There’s a huge planetary cluster of planets transiting your sign, and it’s the scene of the manifesting entry into the new order. What that means for you is that you are carrying within your energy field all the properties and archetypal energies that can truly deliver us all to the new Golden Age. It will take a good two years for all of this energy to produce the physical reality it is designed to bring forth, and just about every last one of the planets partaking of this grouping now will remain here for the duration. That means, put very simply, you know something huge is happening to you, and it’s absolutely positively futile to try and define something so vast and so unprecedented. You’ll have to stand back and watch it unfold like the rest of us, even though its manifesting in you.


Ummmmmm……Ohhhhhhhkaaaaayyyyyy! In one small paragraph Stephanie Azaria describes EXACTLY the weight I have felt my whole entire life.  I’m not here to have a normal Human 1.0 life.  I’m here to birth something new and it is actually birthing THROUGH me.  Holy Crap!

Now, before you accuse me of being all up in my ego for even believing such a thing….I can most certainly attest that this weight I have been feeling has absolutely nothing to do with ego. In fact, I just as soon join the rest of the world on the planet of denial, peacefully making love to my tonic and gin while discussing the latest fashion trends, than having to show up as a vehicle through which a new world is waiting to be born!  Even if said gin and tonic opportunities had ever come my way (which they HAVE NOT), I would not have been able to, and doubt I could choose them now.  Because EVERY SINGLE TIME I try to choose a “normal life” (you know:  normal job, normal relationships, normal life), it is absolutely and without a doubt refused to me.  And believe me….I have tried.  After 100 “real job” applications and not even getting a single phone call, I have surrendered.  After 100 dating sites and nothing but absolute epic fails, again, I quit.  I do not get a “normal life.”  Instead, it seems I have no choice but to continue slogging away at what I do best which is just being Lauri while helping people discover the love they are so that together we can create a new world.

But it is not nearly as simple as that! First off, I’m not getting rich doing this work. In fact, I’m filing bankruptcy while still wondering how I’m going to pay my basic bills this month…….all that while working 3 jobs! (3 if you include parenting which I most certainly do!) Second off, there is NO security in this work.  Human beings are fickle, and few really want to invest in themselves and fewer-still want to continue that investment if it means work.  Everyone wants the shiny object, the “feel good” yoo-rah-rah event or workshop, but very few want to do the hard work. And believe me, the task of healing our fears so that we can know love is HARD AS HELL.  (Isn’t that a great metaphor….for in a sense, we are transforming the hell in which we are living while bringing forth from within us heaven on earth – BOOM!)  Even fewer are willing to give up their attachments to what they know so that they can enjoy the only true freedom which comes from within.  So yeah….exactly why at the end of Jesus’ ministry there were only a few – Mary Magdalene, Mother Mary, Joseph of Arimathea, John the Beloved Disciple, Salome, and a couple other women.  The rest couldn’t handle the most difficult part of the journey which is DEATH. The death of what they had known so as to make room for something new.

And yet, this is EXACTLY what is happening, but now on an EPIC scale. Our world cannot continue if things remain as they are.  At the rate we are currently going, we will destroy ourselves – if the planet doesn’t do it to us first.  (For the record – the Earth always wins!  She will take back what is hers if we can’t learn how to care for it.  We are supposed to be the stewards of the earth….not its conquerors. )  And if it isn’t the planet we are destroying, it is ourselves.  As the rich keep getting richer and the poor keep getting poorer and as the middle class is quickly disappearing; as violence increases, wars on every continent, our children choosing death by suicide, etc. etc. etc. our world is imploding upon itself.   Those who are not benefitting from the current model based in fear, power and control, are longing for something else.  But the change we are longing for is NOT going to come from the top.  It will not come from those in power or from those who are reaping the rewards of a people oppressed.  Instead, it has to come from us – and that change can ONLY come from within.

And this is what I do. Every single day – first for myself – and then for others, I am helping us find ways to transform the fears that cause us to act in non-loving ways toward ourselves, toward each other and toward our planet and am turning those fears into love.  It is that simple, and yet it is also that profound.  The cost of this work is everything that is not in harmony with love – and for some that is a great price.  I know this because of what I have personally given up for the sake of that love.  But even as I stare (financial) death in the face, I can say it has been totally worth it because while there is much I have lost, there is even more that I have gained – and that is my SOUL. I know who I am.  I know what my Soul needs and wants.  Most of the time I am content and I feel at peace.  And most importantly – I know how to love – big, deep, and true.

But even with this, my work is not complete for there are still millions of human beings ACHING for something more. Today I understand that the “something more” is love and until the world knows this love, my Soul will never be satisfied.  THIS is the weight of the responsibility I have felt, perhaps since the day I was born.  Thank you Stephanie Azaria for giving words to what I could not, but have known full well in my heart!


Posted in About Lauri, teachers

Spiritual Teachers – Keepin’ it Real!

I often think one of the biggest obstacle to people getting the spiritual support and guidance they need is the illusion that spiritual teachers are perfect or that we are inhuman (untouchable, unreachable) in some way. As one who has been called a “spiritual teacher” and who has crafted a public presence around this work, I will be the first to tell you that this illusion could not be farther from the truth.  If someone presents the illusion of being perfect or acts as if they are, they are lying and not likely who you want as a teacher anyway.  Let’s keep it real, shall we!?   I am sharing and then inviting some of the other “public” teachers I know to share their own thoughts on who they are and how they spend their time when they are not being “teacher.”

I’m Lauri. Just Lauri.  When I’m not working with clients and students (and even … or maybe especially when I am…..) I am excruciatingly REAL!  Other than maintaining my commitment to my daily spiritual practice and feeding my own need for spiritual support, I don’t do any of those things lauded by certain “spiritual teachers.”

I don’t worry about thinking the “right” thoughts. First of all, to believe there are right or wrong thoughts is a form of judgment arising out of separation.  Thoughts are neutral, it is what we do with them that decides if they are “good” or “bad” FOR US.

I am no longer a vegetarian. I’m not a raw foodie.  I’m definitely not vegan.  I LOVE MEAT – especially rare, red meat – beef or lamb preferably.  I have tried other nutrition philosophies and I have found that my body needs meat to stay healthy…and my veggies need to be cooked.  I also don’t fast.  Again, I have learned that with my fragile constitution, fasting is BAD….for me.  I also take pharmaceuticals.  I’ve tried the herbal remedies for anxiety, depression, high blood pressure and reflux….and none of them worked.  Zoloft it is!

I curse…..a lot. Some would say, “Like a sailor.”  Fuck is my favorite word and I soooo appreciate the Brits for reminding me of the appropriate use of the C-word and other “misogynistic insults.”  Whatever!  These words are only offensive if we choose to be offended by them.  I am offended by very little other than ignorance and stupidity…and even then, that’s my shit, not yours!

When I’m not sprinkling messages of love… tendency is to be a self-righteous, judgmental hag with wild raging anger. My friends and family have seen my rage/passion.  It usually comes out when I witness injustice!  I wonder how people can be so uncaring, ignorant and (on bad days) stupid!  Then I get on my soapbox and start ranting….to anyone who will listen.  But that’s just me.  I can be a self-righteous asshole and I own it.  I’m done judging myself for being REAL!

Sometimes my anxiety comes out sideways. Just yesterday I lost it on my daughter for no other reason than I was feeling anxious for some unknown reason (which was revealed later) and couldn’t find a parking spot for a local event (while ranting about our dumb city for not having enough public parking, thereby not really supporting downtown businesses.  J  )

Now….how do I spend my time you ask? That’s easy.  WATCHING NETFLIX!  There is nothing better than finding a show I love and immersing myself in its world. Penny Dreadful and Game of Thrones (not yet on Netflix) are two of my favorites…..oh yeah…..and BBC’s Sherlock.  I love that “high functioning sociopath!!!”

Same with books. Sadly I haven’t found any good ones lately….I have a specific genre I lean toward, but my current guilty pleasure is anything by Maggie Stiefvater.  Raven Boys ROCKS!  And it’s not just silly frivolous “teen lit.”  Her shit is GOOD!

Music…..the heavier the better. Disturbed, Rob Zombie, Marilyn Manson are a few of my favs – mixed in with a little Sarah McLachlan (when I’m feeling melancholy or mournful) and Bach (when I’m feeling sophisticated!  😉 )  And when I’m longing for “home” I crank up the Irish – Clannad, Altan, Mary Black.

Speaking of sophisticated – NOT!  You will never find me at the Country Club or a Debutante Ball (WHO DOES THAT!?).  I’ll be at the local coffee shop – the artsy one tossing back a dark roast – the darker the better….or the local tavern, savoring a Guinness.  I have NO designer clothes, purses, or shoes unless they came from Goodwill.  In fact, I cannot remember the last time I bought anything from a department store.  Socks and underwear maybe.  The only thing I splurge on is bras.  Nothing compares to a good bra that fits well and lasts!  Thank you Victoria’s Secret!

What else? I have OCD.  Only a mild form…..but there are a few things that either oog me out or which I obsess about (like leaving a preposition at the end of a sentence……I will likely lose sleep tonight over that one!).  Wet wood (wooden spoons, paper, etc ) totally creeps me out.  It makes my skin crawl.  I hate dirty kitchens and bathrooms and hair in the sink makes me CRAZY….which is really fun in a household with two long-haired women!  There’s more but you get the gist.

I’m a mom. More than anything in the whole wide world, I love my (now adult) children.  I love them fiercely!  I am their greatest fan – even when (especially when) they are being REALLY REAL.  They have their own gifts and challenges and I love them all the more for it – all of it.  When my son is being an asshole (usually in the face of injustice) I celebrate it.  When my daughter is doing nothing but watching Anime’ I know it is her way of decompressing from this too-loud and too-violent world…and then I join her!

So…..that’s me. Raging self-righteous, judgemental, cursing hag and all.  I’m about as real as they get which is ultimately why every single one of my clients and students love working with me.  If I’m excruciatingly real……it gives them permission to be the same.

Now, what’s your story?


Lauri Ann Lumby is available for one-on-one mentoring, and offers support through her online training programs.




Posted in About Lauri, God, Oneness with God, Surrender

Only God – The Practice of Radical Self-Reliance

Today’s blog is a deeply personal sharing of a spiritual practice that I have been invited into. It is a practice that has been whispering in my ear for the past several months and only now am I able and willing to accept it.  (Of course I was only willing after being brought to my knees….but that is another story for another day.)

This is a practice of radical self-reliance where I am being invited to release my attachments to all those persons, places, things outside of me where I have sought after guidance, support and love.  In this, there is only one thing left, and that is God.

God and me. Me and God.

As I enter into this practice, I am astonished by all the causes of distraction in my life – all those things I have run to in an attempt to escape the deep pain of everything: loneliness, boredom, isolation, feelings of lack, anxiety, depression, fear, anger, resentment, wrath, lusting after control, the desire for recognition and fame, money, status, power, etc., etc., etc.,.  It’s all there.  And it’s present in everything.  In this practice, I am making a diligent attempt to turn away from each and every one of these distractions so that I can simply be with God.

God and me. Me and God.

In this, I have released every resource I have turned to for guidance. I have let go of everything that promises better days ahead and makes predictions about where we are and where we are headed.  I have let go of the black hole of Facebook except when necessary for personal or professional purposes.  I am continuing to stay away from the fear-based media.  I have ceased making plans, setting agenda, creating itineraries.  I have let go of the compulsive need to frequently check emails hoping for some nicer, brighter news.  In this, all that is left is Me and God In THIS MOMENT.  When I find myself tempted to indulge in these externals, I STOP and turn within to God.

Me and God. God and Me.

As Saints Paul and Augustine both observed, our hearts are ever restless until we rest in God……and rest in God alone. I guess you could say I am testing their theory.



Posted in About Lauri, Christ Consciousness, Divine Revelation, Jesus, Mary Magdalene

Meeting Mary Magdalene

Lauri’s latest book. Buy it Now on

In 1978, I had my first personal, mystical encounter with the Christ and the Magdalene.  They came to me through the Jesus Christ Superstar soundtrack, where for the first time I realized Jesus’ humanity and that Mary Magdalene played a much larger role in the life and ministry of Jesus than I had previously been led to believe.

While the Magdalene would wait to reveal herself fully, I immediately began having direct experiences of the Christ while in prayer, while attending mass, and through the experiences of my everyday life.  The Jesus that was revealing himself to me was markedly different from the Jesus I had been taught to worship in that he was fully human and directly accessible – meaning there was no need for an intermediary between human beings and Christ, we are able to know him directly through contemplation and prayer and through the circumstances of our daily lives.  Additionally, the Jesus that I was coming to know was not exclusive to those who proclaimed him as their savior.  Instead, this Jesus spoke a universal message of unconditional love that promised to transform every human being on this planet – whether they were Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Pagan, Buddhist, or otherwise.  Jesus’ message was for all of humanity, and you didn’t have to become Christian to find salvation in these truths.

As is common in the revelation of the feminine, the Magdalene came to me subtly at first – initially cloaked within the priestesses of Arthurian legend, Morganna in particular, and then through the other mystical and powerful women I encountered through music, cinema, theatre, art, and literature.  It wasn’t until 1994, while in ministry formation, that I had my first direct experience of the Magdalene.  This experience launched an avalanche of encounters through which I was guided by the Magdalene to learn the hidden truths of the Magdalene’s place within the Jesus story, in the beginning years of the Jesus movement, and how she continues to work on our behalf – helping us to discover,  integrate and embody the Living Teachings of Christ.

The Living Teachings of Christ, as revealed to me through both the Magdalene and the Christ, are those teachings which transcend dogma and doctrine, freeing Jesus’ teachings to adapt to an ever-changing world.  Not exclusive or limited to a specific belief system, the Living Teachings of Christ are universal in their appeal, revealing truth to every human being, no matter where they are in their journey and regardless of their specific belief system.  In a world that has become increasingly separated by belief, the unveiling of these teachings could not be more timely.

The Living Teachings of Christ, as revealed through both Jesus and Mary (called Magdalene) spring forth out of one foundational truth:

The Truth of Oneness

This is the truth that Jesus came to know within himself, and the truth he sought to teach his disciples.  Mary, called Magdalene, fully integrated and embodied this truth – the truth that we are all One – within ourselves, with each other, with all of creation and with God. Jesus and Mary experienced this Oneness as unconditional love.  This is the truth that promises to heal the fear and perceived separation that is the cause of suffering in the human condition, and to restore us to our original nature as LOVE.

Read my latest book which goes beyond the Living Teachings of Christ to reveal the Secret Teachings of Mary Magdalene.  Available in paperback and Kindle on  Buy it HERE.

Posted in About Lauri, Being Human, God, introverts, Mystics, Oneness with God, Ponderings, Relationships, Spiritual Direction, Surrender

Only God

a personal reflection by Lauri Ann Lumby

This morning’s blog is coming from a deeply personal place and arising out of a place of fragmented vulnerability….so apologies ahead of time for momentary incoherence. 😉

image credit:

2017 has been quite an interesting year so far. The most exciting things have been my soul-discovering trip to Ireland and the “new” things that are beginning to be birthed in my world including a promising business partnership and a burgeoning Magdalene Priestess Training program!

Playing a much more central role in 2017, however, has been the ever deepening and every widening journey of LETTING GO! It seems everywhere I turn I am being invited to let go of that which I used to turn to as a source of familiarity, routine, surety, security and support.  It seems I can’t take a single step without being confronted with something asking for release.  This release has included the need to redefine relationships (the nature of, my expectations or hopes around, boundaries, etc.), to let go of certain hopes and dreams; and more materially, facing the need to find new housing and buy a new car.  The whispering threat under all of this letting go is, “And HOW are you going to pay for that?????”  UGH!

As it all came to a head this past weekend with the resurfacing of my deepest core wound and its source, I knew that the letting go was not about letting go, but was in fact about letting in. Specifically – letting God in.

In this realization, I must give credit and gratitude to my experience as a Spiritual Director (and a mystic). If I did not have the awareness of what the Divine call looks like, I would have been in much more despair than I have been (believe me, I’ve spent many hours on the couch wallowing in my grief, despair and perceived helplessness) and not known where to turn or how to make sense of every rug being pulled out from beneath my feet.  God isn’t an asshole (though sometimes it feels like “He” is.).  When we are being invited to let go….it is always for the purpose of letting in.

So, what does it mean when life is inviting us to release EVERYTHING upon which we have previously based our lives and EVERYTHING we formerly turned to as a source of hope and support? It means that life is supporting us in knowing that in the end, there is ONLY God.  Everything that we know of in our human experience is fleeting and temporary – relationships, jobs, homes, cars, money, belongings, our health and wellbeing, life itself.  It is all temporary and in the end, it all passes away.  When all has passed away….what is left is God.  Me and God.  God and me.  And when Lauri Ann Lumby is no longer, there is only God.

I am also grateful for my spiritual director, Leanore, who supported me yesterday in verbalizing my awareness and affirming the invitation. The purpose of all this letting go is so that I can let God in – to let God in on an even deeper level than I have ever done before.  To let God in so that I might know a deeper experience of God’s love.  To know God as my source of support.  To surrender into God’s hands knowing and trusting that God is carrying me to exactly where I need to be.  Most importantly of all….to do what I tell everyone of my students to do – to make God the number one priority of my life, to give all my energy and attention to God, to be open to receiving and being compelled and empowered by God’s love.  It is not about the temporary and fleeting things of this world, it is about God…..and only about God.

In closing, I want to share these words from Stephanie Azaria’s daily post (quoting one of her writers, Marie DesRoches at  If this isn’t God speaking to me, I don’t know what is:

In 3D I used to “think” of surrender as giving up my way and “doing” what God wanted.  In 5D I Align WITH the God That I Am and allow myself to BE all that I AM – expressing, moving, choosing, loving, breathing, WITH and IN that Presence.” 


Posted in About Lauri, Beloved Partnership, codependency, happily ever after, Mary Magdalene, Relationships

My Secret Pain – the Call of Beloved Partnership

It is said that “the truth shall set you free.” I have continued to find this to be true.  But knowing that in expressing our truth we shall find freedom and actually expressing our truth are two different things, especially when expressing those truths leaves you naked and vulnerable in the face of an often cold and cruel world.  But, it is also said, “No pain, no gain.”  So……here goes.

I have a truth that I have carefully guarded and kept very close to my heart, revealing this secret to only a select few. The truth is that I am called to Beloved Partnership.

Click on the image above to read about Mary Magdalene and the call to Beloved Partnership.

What I have come to understand is that being called to Beloved Partnership is a Divine calling and one that cannot be fulfilled until we are reunited with our other half. Being a Beloved Partner differs from co-dependency in that it is not about looking for someone to complete us.  Instead, it is about a shared energy that compels both to seek after their own wholeness, spiritually igniting each other in mutual and shared growth until they reach the point when they are meant to come together in Divine and Holy Partnership – the kind of partnership that is Divinely ordained and which no one can tear asunder.

I am a Beloved Partner and on some level, I have known this my whole life. Since my earliest memory, I have known what my Beloved feels like.  I have felt/known his presence around me.  I have heard him calling me and have experienced the promise of our union.  I have looked for him and thought I had found him in others, only and always learning that “this is not him.”  (That is not to say there hasn’t been value in all the relationships that in the end proved not to be my Twin.)

Until 2004-ish, my Beloved has only been known to me in the energy of promise and potential. I had an idea in my head and a sense of what should be, but nothing concrete to base it on.  Then came the vision that CHANGED MY LIFE.  In short – I SAW HIM!  I saw him and I felt him.  More importantly, I experienced what it feels like to be in his presence and to have him look into my eyes.  The experience was one of pure adoration and love – the likes of which I had never experienced before.

For 13 years, I have carried this experience with me, allowing it to guide and direct my life. It started with looking for this love outside of me.  When these efforts proved fruitless, I sought this love in God which then brought me into myself.  I have diligently tended to the unhealed wounds and unacknowledged fears within me that have been blocking my ability to know the love that I am as a child of the Divine – all the while feeling and knowing the presence of “My Beloved” in this journey with me.

Doesn’t that sound lovely? I see/feel the experience of being adored.  It compels me on a profound journey of personal growth.  It helps to lead me in the direction of my life purpose.  But….the truth is that the journey of Beloved Partnership SUCKS!  It sucks BAD….and here’s why.

Think of it this way. How many people do you know who are happy and content in a “just ok” relationship because it feels safe, secure, known, etc.  Alternatively, how many people do you know who are happy just dating and sleeping around – enjoying the play of a casual relationship without any of the responsibility?  Beloved Partners cannot do any of these thing!  None of these paths have been an option for me and when I have tried, I have gotten my ass handed to me.  With the calling of a Beloved Partnership, I have learned I can be content with nothing but this.

Here then is the rub: For one called to Beloved Partnership, until that partnership is realized, there will always be a feeling of discontent, a deep feeling that there is something very wrong with our lives, and our Divine calling will not be completely fulfilled.  When the Divine calling is not fulfilled, we are left with a nagging feeling of frustration, impatience, even anger and resentment of that something that is missing from our lives.

Here is the other rub: there is literally NOTHING we can do about what is “wrong” with our lives.  Oh yes, there are all kinds of books and courses on how to “call in the one,” but in my experience none of these work.  Yes, we can prepare a space for our Beloved.  Yes, we can do the critical work of healing our woundedness and becoming whole within ourselves.  We can go out there and try on different relationship experiences.  But at the end of the day, the arrival of our Beloved, as it is Divine ordained, is simply a matter of Divine timing.  In the meantime, we are left with an aching pain of vacancy in the center of our Soul where the knowledge of our calling to Beloved Partnership resides, along with the pain of knowing that until we are united there will be a critical part of our Soul’s purpose that cannot be fulfilled.

While there is nothing we can do to make reunion with our Beloved happen, we can create a space in our lives by working on our own journey toward wholeness. My book, Happily Ever After, is one resource to help support you in this task. 

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Posted in About Lauri

Reflections on Ireland

Top O’ the Morning to yah!

It’s been six days since I made my return from a lovely 9 day voyage to Ireland. It was an amazing trip and I still find myself without words to describe the experience.  I will attempt to begin by going backwards.

In January of 2008, after a year of cataclysmic personal tragedies which included making the final decision to leave the Catholic Church, I made a 9 day pilgrimage to Glastonbury, England. To say that the Glastonbury trip was life-altering and earth shattering would be an understatement.  Through this trip, I was ushered into the shadows which resulted in 9 years of deep soul excavation and shadow work – 9 difficult years of working through all my fears, exhuming all my unhealed wounds, leaving an unhealthy marriage, and retrieving all the lost parts of my soul.  To say these 9 years have been a challenge would be an understatement.  My body, my mind and my soul are weary.

Ireland is/was the culmination of and bookend to what was begun in 2007/8. When the opportunity for this trip presented itself and with the ease of its unfolding (including the funds to do it), I knew deep soul work was about to be done.  Specifically, Ireland represents for me the light that is emerging out of the darkness that was begun in Glastonbury.  (btw: England is the Fatherland to me as it is the home of my father’s father.  Ireland is the home of my mother’s mother.)

As has been true of Glastonbury, the total impact of Ireland will not be made known for many years I am sure. The work that was and is being done, is being done in secret, in the deepest recesses of my Soul, on levels that are mostly unconscious, and yet, I have gotten a glimpse into some of what Ireland means and what it will mean for me.

At the risk of being a silly American romanticizing my trip to Ireland, it is truly a magical isle. To begin with, people are not kidding about the green.  Ireland is a color of green that does not exist in any other place that I am aware of – and being there in March, the green we beheld was but a fraction of how green the isle truly is.  Pictures do not do it justice.

I’m not sure if it is the green or something else entirely, but the energy and vibration of Ireland is staggeringly different than any place I have ever been. I don’t know how to quantify the vibration but it felt like the combination of welcome, ease, and wonder.  What people say about the “Irish mile” and the “Irish minute” are absolutely true.  Nothing, it seems, is done in a hurry.  Meals are meant to be taken with ease (ie: you have to ask for your check. In Ireland, it is rude to give it to you before you ask).  Travel is circuitous and meandering, and sheep have the right of way. Road signs are optional and mostly absent, so bring your GPS! (Coordinates are more helpful than street addresses, especially where addresses are optional!)  There is no room for impatience in a country that is mostly rural and where everything happens in its own time.  There is no rushing in Ireland.  (Oh yeah….heat, hot and cold running water, consistent water pressure and internet are all optional….so leave your American expectations behind please!).

What is said about the Irish people is absolutely true. They are warm, welcoming, hospitable and accommodating.  Irish hospitality really is a thing and we had the opportunity to experience it firsthand, most markedly when we had car trouble in “Littleton” a “town” (made up of a gas station, two pubs, and a “take away” café ) literally in the middle of nowhere.  From the lovely ladies out for a walk (in their Adidas track suits – apparently this is a thing!) who directed us to the nearest mechanic, (“go down that way til you see the broken down barn, then turn right, follow that road til you see the three legged sheep, turn left, then down to O’Shannessey’s farm, you know the one with the bull with one horn, then turn left again, you’ll find O”Brien’s shop next to the grotto of Our Lady (crossing themselves while muttering, “bless her holy name”), tell him we sent you),   to the mechanic himself (with hands the size of rawhide gloves!), to the café owners where we waited for our vehicle to be repaired, to the gas station attendants who set us on our way.

Then, there is the Irish wonder. Everything in Ireland has a spark of magic to it, and you can’t not be aware of it!  It is everywhere.  From the landscape to the scenery, to the people, to the place-names (every road sign is in English and Gaelic), to the stories about the places.  The entire country seems to have emerged from out of a fairyland that still exists, yet is somewhat hidden behind the veil.  It’s not all that hidden, however, for those who have eyes to see.  And if you don’t believe me, you need only spend a day at the Giant’s Causeway where the hand of the Creator pushed forth a landscape that exists in only a few other places in this world.

Then there is The Mother. For me, Ireland is literally the Motherland – the home of my mother’s mother’s, mother – the McMahons, O’Connells, Briggs and Inis’. But even more than this, Ireland is the land of The Mother.  Her Presence is everywhere.  In Ireland, the Goddess never died.  Neither the Romans, nor the Church, nor Patrick himself were successful in purging the Emerald Isle of its Mother.  The Mother remains in the earth itself, in the landscape, in the megalithic tombs, stone circles and spiral carvings that litter the landscape.  The Mother stands proud in the shrines to St. Brigid – the Celtic Goddess made Catholic saint.  And the Mother reigns in the shrines to the Blessed Mother Mary who stands in for the Mother who was there before her.  This palpable presence of the Mother translates into a completely different attitude toward women, the role of women, respect toward women, and in this, the importance of family and community that seems not to be present in our so-called enlightened and progressive US.

All of these things, welcome, ease and wonder, and most especially, the presence of The Mother have had an impact on me and I am certain will continue to work their way into and through me as the days, months and years unfold. I’m sure I will be back to revel once again in the magic of Home…..for if there is one thing I can say about Ireland is that it very much felt like home.  Slainte!






Posted in About Lauri, Authentic Freedom, building the new world, Freedom, Jesus, Mary Magdalene, self-actualization

We Choose the World We Live In

Before man are life and death, good and evil, whichever he chooses shall be given him.

Sirach 15: 17

Every single moment of every single day, we choose the world we are living in. There is nothing “new” about this choice.  New Agers and those from the New Thought, Starseed and Ascension communities in their foundational message about choice are simply echoing the wisdom of the ancients.  Moses was given the key to this truth. Isaiah and Jeremiah gave the Israelites this choice.  Jesus made this choice and taught his female and male disciples how to do the same.  Mary Magdalene made this choice and became witness to the risen Christ. St. Francis of Assisi made this choice and transformed the Church as did Teresa of Avila, Julian of Norwich and Hildegard of Bingen.  Meister Eckhart made this choice as did Gandhi, Mother Theresa and the Dalai Lama.

We choose the world we are living in and that choice is as simple as choosing between love and fear. This choice between love and fear then produces the way in which we perceive, approach and live in our world – are we choosing life or death, good or evil?  Again, it all boils down to one simple choice – love or fear.

When we choose love over fear, we soon discover:

  • There is nothing to fear.
  • There is no reason to hate.
  • We have no enemies.
  • The world is beautiful and peaceful.
  • People are inherently kind to one another.
  • Instead of fearing those who differ from us, we become curious and long to get to know them.
  • We come together in communion instead of building walls between us.
  • We see possibility instead of defeat.
  • We see endings as new beginnings.

It really is this simple.

My choice is for love. What are you going to choose?


lauriprofilecroppedLauri Ann Lumby serves as a source of support for those longing to choose love over fear. Lauri supports you in making this choice through one-on-0ne mentoring and through her local and online courses, specifically, the Authentic Freedom Mastery program.  Learn more about Lauri HERE, and check out the Authentic Freedom Mastery program HERE. 



Posted in About Lauri

Lauri Ann Lumby

Lauri Ann LumbyLauri Ann Lumby, OM, MATS is a  guide, an author and an educator. Lauri has been awakening and supporting individuals in their journey toward self-actualization through her  classes, workshops, retreats, writing, publishing, and one-on-one mentoring since 1995.  Lauri is the founder and director of Authentic Freedom Academy, the Spiritual Director to The Order of the Magdalene and the Order of Melchizedek, and facilitator for the One Tribe movement.  Lauri lives in Oshkosh, WI.


lauricurtsie2Lauri Ann Lumby is a catalyst.  Lauri sees beyond the masks we all wear to the truth hiding underneath.  In being seen, you will awaken to your truth, your purpose and your true mission in this life.

Lauri is a nurturer, holding you in a place of unconditional acceptance and love, creating a safe space in which your truth may emerge.

Lauri is a guide, leading you through the tangled forest of societal conditioning, unhealed wounds and fearful concern that are keeping you from living your truth.

Lauri empowers.  Like a mother eagle, Lauri supports you until you are ready to fly on your own – enjoying the freedom of the self-actualization that is your birthright and the fulfillment of your Divine and Humanly nature.


lauridocmartinwebshotcolor2013Education and Training:

After receiving her BBA in Marketing from the University of Iowa and finding nothing but dissatisfaction in the world of commerce, Lauri began her own search for self-knowledge. As part of this search, Lauri heard her call to active ministry and pursued her ministerial education and training through the Catholic Diocese of Green Bay/ Silver Lake College and her training and credentials as a Spiritual Director through the Norbertine Center for Spirituality in DePere.  After fifteen years as a Catholic lay-minister; specializing in adult spiritual formation, small faith communities, pastoral counseling, liturgy and sacraments; Lauri left institutional employment to establish a secular ministry where she could respond to the spiritual needs of a wider audience.  In 2005, in support of a lifelong calling, Lauri was ordained as an Interfaith Minister through the Universal Life Church in Modesto, CA. In March of 2015, Lauri completed her Master’s Degree in Transpersonal Studies (Psychology), with an emphasis in mindfulness, creativity, and active imagination practices, through Sofia University.

You can contact Lauri Ann Lumby, at (920) 230-1313 or

Personal Mentoring/Spiritual Counseling

lauridocmartinwebshotcolor2013Lauri Ann Lumby is available for one-on-one mentoring and spiritual counseling, locally, over the phone and via Skype.

Call (920) 230-1313 or email to schedule a session.

Lauri’s hourly rate for personal mentoring and spiritual counseling is $150.00.

Pre-payment is required for phone and Skype sessions. Please use the “donate” button on the sidebar menu of this site.


Testimonials from Lauri’s clients:

I had been to counselors on and off for 10 years and Lauri hit the bulls eye during our first session; after our second session, the grief that plagued me for over 10 years was gone, as it was my soul that needed recognition and healing – prior counselors only addressed the “mind”; Lauri helped me holistically.  As a result, I am me again.  I am whole, and I embrace life.    KU  Oshkosh

I have had the pleasure of attending all of Lauri’s classes as well as receiving personal spiritual direction/counseling.  Her ability to actively listen, assist you in plumbing the depths of your own heart and mine the gold that is deep inside of you allows you to find your own path to healing.  Lauri doesn’t tell you how to feel or think, but allows you to savor your own truth!          Linda S.  Oshkosh

After my thirty-five year relationship suddenly and unexpectedly ended, I sought Lauri’s help in dealing with the all-consuming grief, fear, anger, despair and confusion.  Lauri provided a safe haven where I was able to face the truth about myself, my life and my relationship.  This has been tremendously healing, empowering and freeing.  Lauri’s presence and influence in my life has been a deeply profound gift for which I will be eternally grateful.          Diane K.  Oshkosh

Authentic Freedom helps me everyday to overcome my fears and doubts and to move forward.  Lauri is wonderful at helping me think through my insecurities.  I do things more now from my own intuition rather than what “everyone else” does or tells me to do.   I am more at peace because I have less struggle with the ego and know that the Divine is always there to take care of me.  I just need to listen.     Debbie S.  Neenah

I was in a point in my life where I was at a cross roads. I had an idea of what to do but still questioned the answer and myself, Lauri helped me to find clarity and make an effective decision.     MS  Oshkosh

With Lauri’s insightful guidance, I was able to understand my motivations better, and work towards replacing old, habitual and destructive thoughts and behaviors with new, life-giving ones that better revealed my authentic nature.     MS  Fond du Lac

Lauri was my guiding light through some very trying personal losses.     PG  Oshkosh

I have gotten more help in a shorter amount of time from Lauri Ann Lumby ‘s classes and counsel than from other counselors. Wonderful ~   Janet S. Oshkosh