Authentic Freedom Energy report 2/22/21
I don’t know about you, but the weeks since January 1 have been a DOOZIE! I guess none of our prayers for relief in 2021 were answered – or rather, the answer was, “Oh honey, we’re not done with you yet!”
Since January 1, it seems we have experienced one crisis after another in what can only be described as a “nail biter.” I’m sure our astrologer friends have some insights into how the planets have been involved, but since I’m not an astrologer, I can only speak to what I have been and am continuing to see.
In short – we, as a collective, are moving through what may be described as the greatest transformation in the history of humanity. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are discarding old, outmoded systems and clearing space for something new to be born. This discarding, clearing and rebuilding is at once personal and universal, microcosmic and macrocosmic, Einsteinian and Quantum, visible and invisible. The transformation we are moving through is all-consuming and requires of us everything we have. If you are feeling exhausted, this would be why.
I know I’ve said this a billion times, but we are clearing away 5000-8000 year old systems of fear, power, oppression and control. Many of these symptoms are obvious (hierarchy, patriarchy, etc.), many are much more subtle. The work to clear away these old and unsustainable systems is a full-time job and require, if not our undivided attention, our complete involvement. That involvement is sometimes obvious, more often subtle and even invisible. It is certain, however, that we are involved in some way shape or form – whether we are aware of it or not.
On one hand, we have those who are playing the role of comply-ers. These are the folks who are clinging to what has been. Some of this clinging is obvious – as in the siege on the Capitol on January 6th. Some is much more subtle – as in the reactions of the older generations to the youth of today – expecting these children and young adults to follow the rules that had been laid out for the children of the 50’s. The comply-ers have benefitted from the old (dying) systems and want those systems to remain, and are doing everything in their power to defend those systems.
The deny-ers are those who are here to envision and/or build the new world. We are the ones who came here to call out that which no longer serves, to break our own chains of bondage to those systems and clear the space for something new to be brought forth. We are the ones witnessing to the death of the old world and clapping the dust of the old off our hands as we gratefully walk away. We are the shit disturbers, the catalysts, and the grim reapers – cutting out the old to make way for the new.
Finally there are the builders. This group has been mostly silent. They are lying in wait for their time to come. Some are stealthily planting the seeds of the new while at the same time, bringing the powers that be to their knees (ie: Gamestop/Reddit). Others are quietly defying the old systems while standing wholly in their own truth. These are the ones who have discarded outmoded hierarchical expectations and power-over cultural conditioning. These are the ones for whom respect and trust has to be earned, and authority is never assumed. One will never see blind obedience in this group as to them, everything is questioned – and rightly so. They are wise and intelligent, and they apply sound reasoning and discernment to every experience in their lives. These are the old souls who have come to build us a new world.
I mention these three groups because we are all here to play our role. We are comply-er, deny-er or builder and we are all necessary parts of the working design that is carrying us out of the old and into the new. As every machine requires friction to operate, so too does the grand design that is bringing us into a new world. Forget about Spaceforce 1, this is New Earth NOW!
The actions, interactions, and friction that are the product of this working design are being felt by all of us. We are weary, worn out, frustrated, and grieving as we witness the ongoing struggle for the NEW while the old fiercely clings. The degree to which we are struggling with this transformation is proportionate to the degree of our clinging. If we have expectations for things to be a certain way and are disappointed to find out they are not, it is our expectations that have gotten in the way. If we are hurting because we have been given another opportunity to leave something behind to make way for the new, then we are human. Every human being is part of this grand design and we are all playing our roles – and it is hard.
The past two months have been especially difficult – which is to be expected as we carry our dreams of being free of the past year into the new. 2020 wasn’t over on December 31st! In fact, we are only now approaching the true energies of 2021. Can you feel it? It’s subtle, but it’s there. It’s like a tiny whispering gentle breeze has blown in – like a warm spring breeze (even as Texas is freezing). We have successfully made it through seven harrowing weeks of deep inner and outer transformation. AND WE ARE STILL HERE. Congratulations!
Now, give yourself permission to take a deep breath. Leave 2020 behind. Congratulate yourself on a journey well-done. Comfort yourself for what you have grieved and been made to leave behind. And ready yourself for whatever is next for you in the grand design plan. It is not something that can be sought after, or even planned. But you will know it because it will be standing right before you, offering itself to you. In the meantime, be compassionate toward yourself and even more compassionate toward others. We are all playing our role in the grand design and unlike the old system that makes winner and losers, in the grand design, everybody wins.
Lauri Ann Lumby
Authentic Freedom Academy
Today is Ash Wednesday, 2021 and I find my undies all twisted up in anger, frustration, judgment and self-righteousness. I am tempted to judge my response harshly, but instead, I’m choosing to be loving and compassionate toward myself because at the hands of the Catholic Church, I have suffered unspeakable trauma. There are several causal factors to my PTSD diagnosis, but the way I was treated by the local and then national Catholic Church might be at the top of that list.
I am not a victim. Instead, I consider myself a victor over the attempts of the local inquisition, the Bishop of the Green Bay Diocese and his Chancellor, and the USCCB to silence me. I will not be silent. And I will not be obedient to an outside perceived authority that thinks they know more than God. In order to freely express my truth and to live out what I believe to be my Divine calling, I had to leave the Church behind. Leaving the Church was the most difficult decision I have ever had to make and the most devastating. At the same time, it has been my path to freedom.
That freedom, however, has a price and my soul bears that cost every day. I am acutely aware of this price as I witness my hurt, anger, impatience and self-righteousness rising as others boldly proclaim the comfort they experience as they are held safely in the arms of the Church and their excitement to mark that comfort in the reception of the ashes.
I too long for that comfort and “safety,” but for me, the Church (or any religious institution for that matter) will never again feel safe; for I am fully aware of the price of that comfort – obedience. Specifically, obedience to an institution that claims to encourage inner growth and spiritual maturity while condemning those who pursue that path. Obedience to a Church that has called women the source of original sin, who have denied women the opportunity to pursue their divine calling, who for centuries have raped children and abused women, who have burned women and men at the stake for practicing the healing arts, and who have repeatedly ignored the most basic of Jesus’ teaching – to love on another.
My anger at the Church is well-justified. They allowed people uneducated in their faith (or selectively educated) to call my work blasphemy and heresy. People who see through the narrow lens of Catholic fundamentalism. Those who are most definitely obedient, but obedient to a limited understanding of their faith. Decrying the Vatican II documents in favor of a pre-Reformation Catholicism, one that hasn’t existed for over 500 years.
But this is where I got to them. I know my faith. Every insult, accusation, condemnation I was able to counter with authentic Church teachings. When the Chancellor to the Bishop challenged me, I countered his every argument, and when that wasn’t enough, I invited him (using Jesus’ words), to “Come and see.” He ignored my invitation. When I met with him over what was supposed to be a defense of Reiki, he kept me waiting 50 minutes and said, “sorry I gotta go catch a plane to Rome.” The very next day, after promising we could continue the conversation, he signed the prohibition statement that would be the beginning of the end for me. So again, the vocal minority won in a world where blind obedience is favored over the Church’s own teachings on discernment and primacy of conscience.
I could go on, but I won’t. The Church doesn’t deserve that much of my attention. The point is – Ash Wednesday is hard for me – and likely the rest of Lent will be too. I miss the parts of my faith that were good – most especially the depth of theological teachings that allow for both a wide and narrow view – where Catholic means universal and where there is room for a diversity of beliefs and expressions of that faith. But in hindsight, perhaps that Church never really existed and was just a fantasy I made up in my mind so that I might feel as if I belong.
The poem above by Rupi Kaur arrived at the exact perfect moment. For the past 6 weeks I have been struggling with increasingly crippling pain from the middle of my back to the top of my head. I understood the potential physical triggers, but more importantly I was aware of the emotional triggers that started it. What was troubling, however, was the magnitude of the pain as it seemed disproportionate to the triggers. The triggers were familiar and of no surprise, but for whatever reason they hit me more deeply than usual. I applied my normal reflection and healing practices to resolve the pain, but nothing seemed to be working. I was beginning to wonder if (once again) my personal triggers, because of their universal theme, had catapulted me into something I was being called (once again) to process and transmute on behalf of the world. #shadowwork
I had an acupuncture treatment on Wednesday that helped to loosen the pain. Then on Thursday morning while doing some deep meditation and process work, Rupi Kaur’s poem showed up in my Instagram feed. I took in her words and BOOM! OMG! That’s it! The pain is mine, but it is more than mine, because it is about the deep-seated demon of misogyny and all the ways it has crippled women and men alike – a demon that we must exorcise if we ever hope to have peace and harmony in the human experience.
The Oxford English Dictionary defines misogyny as: dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women. Merriam-Webster expands that meaning to include: something (such as speech or behavior) that reflects and fosters misogyny. As I have been recently reminded, misogyny is not limited to the actions of men, as some women are equally guilty of beliefs and behaviors related to misogyny (the denigration of other women and sometimes men). Misogyny is sometimes obvious, often subtle and always insidious. Misogyny is at the heart of what is wrong with our world and while it is often described as a weapon that men use against women, both women and men suffer because of the sins of misogyny and women are just as often the perpetrators of misogyny. Here are a few of the subtle and not so subtle examples of misogyny as we might be experiencing them today:
• The way in which boys are socialized not to like or want to date smart girls.
• The ways in which some girls act dumb to get boys to like them.
• How some parents are disappointed when their first born isn’t a boy.
• The ways in which boys are socialized to abhor strong, courageous, independent and successful women.
• When men are intimidated by or recoil from a woman who knows herself and what she wants.
• Women who choose not to know themselves or what they want so they can fit better into the category of “male likability.”
• Men demeaning, sexualizing, controlling, and manipulating women.
• Women sexualizing or diminishing themselves to get male attention.
• Privileging male sports over female sports.
• Funding sports while defunding the arts.
• The way in which boys have been labeled as “gay” for wanting to explore theatre, choir, (and god forbid!) dance.
• Expecting women to remain in subservient roles or in jobs that have been traditionally feminine (teaching, nursing, secretary, etc.).
• The silent demeaning of men who choose careers in traditionally feminine fields (teaching, nursing, stay at home parent, etc.)
• Charging more for women’s professional attire than for a similar item in the men’s department.
• Every way in which women are silenced, ignored or mocked, when they try to share their knowledge, experience, expertise, concerns, ideas, etc.
• Every way women are condemned for “rocking the boat.” (you know, like when we try to speak our truth.)
• When women are talked over, ignored, dismissed, interrupted.
• The silent rules of complicit women.
• Women rely on manipulative (often sexual) behaviors to get a man’s attention.
• Women who sell their souls for the perceived security of status quo.
• Body shaming!
• Banishing, ostracizing, abandoning, shunning – those who refuse to hold the “party line.”
• The assumption of authority and bullying those who question or challenge that authority. (in my world, authority is not assumed, it must be earned!)
• Elevating competition over collaboration.
• Creating “winners” and “losers.”
• Making money a measure of success.
• Making God into a man. (thank you for this one Lyna Jones!)
This list is by no means complete, but I think you get the picture, and likely have a few of your own to add. Before pressing on, I want to acknowledge the dear men that I know in whom misogyny has not been ingrained, or who have purposefully chosen to root this out in themselves. They are examples of how men are meant to be in their attitudes toward and behaviors with women. They elevate, celebrate and collaborate with the women around them and to them I want to say thank you. I also want to celebrate the amazing women I know who have stepped out of the misogynistic trap and who celebrate, elevate, and uplift their sisters and who are sources of support for each other, rather than competition in the endless race to “get a man.” Thank you dear sisters, I honor you.
At the same time, it is important that WE ALL acknowledge the subtle, and not so subtle ways in which we have been conditioned and even trained by the “rules” of misogyny. We must acknowledge the ways in which we have either ignored or taken misogyny for granted – accepting it as something that “just is” and having no other choice but to deal with it. As for “dealing with it,” I call BULLSHIT! It is not ok to put up with being ignored, silenced, censored, talked over, demeaned, criticized, condemned, even punished because we do not agree to the rules laid out by misogyny. It is not acceptable that any of us should have to change our behavior, withhold the sharing of our gifts, deny ourselves our passion because some man a long time ago decided what is expected of and acceptable from women and then applied similar rules to men whose Souls do not fit within the toxic masculine paradigm. It is not ok that for centuries we have had to put up with “the rules,” often under the threat of our own lives. (Women and men have been killed for speaking and living their truth).
For 56 years I have suffered under the rules of misogyny, and I know I’m not the only one! We need to end the reign of misogyny and it starts by identifying its role in our own lives, the ways we have suffered or been complicit in its ministrations and choose another path. We start by healing ourselves of the effects of misogyny and then saying NO to its actions when it attempts to insert itself into our lives.
How have you experienced misogyny in your life and how have your worked to root it out?
Guilt a Weapon
copyright Lauri Ann Lumby
Guilt is the weapon
of the status quo.
If we don’t play by their rules.
Enslaving us to the
outside (often self-appointed) perceived authority.
Laying down rules
of their own making
to keep us quiet, obedient, followers.
But leaders don’t follow.
In order to lead,
to free humanity from
We have to break free
of the status quo.
Finding our way over
and around societal norms
into a world of our own making.
Where we can live freely
while showing others the way.
But in order to be free.
We must silence the voice of guilt
with its wagging finger,
pursed lips and crossed arms.
We must ignore the threatening chorus
and the litany of promised punishments
for going another way.
More than all of these,
We must be brave enough
to turn against the crowd
and their threats of rejection,
and be willing to
While we may find ourselves momentarily solo,
At least here we will be free.
Keep your eyes open for Lauri’s new poetry collection, Elegy – love songs to Death and other poems. Coming this spring.