Joe Biden and Kamala Harris have been declared the projected winners of the 2020 presidential/vice presidential race. While I voted for Biden/Harris I do not count this projected win as a victory. After four years of violent division along political lines, no matter the winner of the presidential race, our nation has lost. We are further lost by the fact that neither candidate seem to be interested in or capable of facilitating the broad-sweeping change that is truly necessary in our nation. Campaign promises notwithstanding, division continues to plague us with a political system that continues to be less about the people our politicians represent and more about those who pad their pockets.
But the point of this reflection is not politics. It is about being an empath and what the past four years have been like for me and for my sisters and brothers who have been equally affected. With all that has transpired over the past four years, I am having a difficult time trusting this “win” while waiting for the other shoe to drop. The prophet in me doubts there will be a peaceful transition. More importantly, I am seeing how the “two sides” still seem to be at war with each other and beyond the actions of the departing president, there are those on both sides who seem to want to continue the battle.
It is this battle that has left me feeling shredded. As an empath, I have felt this battle deep within my own body. I have felt the battle of our nation in every fiber of my being, experiencing the sensation of being torn apart as the nation has done this to itself. Every fight on social media, every news story depicting people against people, every conspiracy theory, every Q-Anon campaign, every violent word that has come forth out of the mouths of my human sisters and brothers have torn me apart.
As a trauma survivor, I know well the symptoms of PTSD and my personal triggers. The past four years have put me on high alert and have impacted me no matter how much self-care I have done, meditation I have performed, shadow work I have accomplished, or how many times I have reached out to my doomsday team for support. To say it plainly, the past four years have SUCKED and there is not one side to blame. (not to mention I don’t believe in blame anyway). We are all guilty of participating in this division, including myself. And I am heartbroken over the way Americans have treated Americans in the past four years. If I still believed in shame, I would say we should be ashamed. But what we really need to do is heal.
And the thought of trying to heal the mess we have made of our nation is beyond exhausting. I cannot even bring myself to entertain this idea or what it might look like. As one who has carried the burden of this division and done all I can do to try to be a source of healing, I feel a little used up. My set-point is hope, but truthfully, in this moment, hope is difficult to muster. Part of me has lost faith in the American people. How can we be so cruel and hateful? How can we be so ignorant of and uncaring about the needs of others? Why must everything be a fight? Why can’t we just get along? I don’t understand it.
It is for all of these reasons that I have been and will continue to be quiet about the outcome of this election. Until we learn how to come together for healing and in support of the common good, we have all lost.
Copyright Lauri Ann Lumby www.authenticfreedom.love