Posted in Healing, self-actualization, shadow work

Betrayal

In the journey of self-actualization and coming into our wholeness, old wounds often resurface so that another layer of healing and transformation may occur.  Journaling and writing poetry are two of the ways I support myself in processing these wounds – in this case, the wound of betrayal.  What are the tools you have used to heal from the many ways in which life has betrayed you?

Betrayal

Betrayal seems to me the most excruciating of all pain,

Perhaps more painful even than death.

For in death at least there is closure.

And we can bury our dead.

(Isn’t death, after all, a betrayer and a betrayal?

Perhaps betrayal IS the pain in death, more so even than the loss.)

 

But in betrayal, the betrayer becomes a living specter reminding us of our failure.

How could I not have known?

How did I not see it sooner?

Why did I put up with this for so long?

But alas, we likely knew and saw from the very beginning –

The signs and the red flags –

Heralds of truth we chose to ignore

for the sake of counterfeit love,

a relationship of convenience…

a means to an end.

 

Or because this was the only kind of love we had ever known.

 

The betrayer – forever taunting us in their ability to go on.

While holding our beating and dripping heart in their hands –

as a trophy.

 

Pride the betrayer’s sin.

Believing themselves above the laws of human kindness,

Above reproach

Ever justified in their righteousness.

Using our vulnerability as a weapon –

The soul we bared against us.

A cruelty beyond imagining.

Intentional.

 

No apologies.

No seeking after forgiveness.

In betrayal, the pure of heart are left to suffer

while the betrayer rides off triumphantly

seeking after another one to betray.

 

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Author:

I am the founder, owner of Authentic Freedom Academy and the Spiritual Director of the Order of the Magdalene and the Order of Melchizedek. Our mission is to provide education, community and support for those seeking to become self-actualized. Authentic Freedom (dot) Love is our learning community.