Posted in Authentic Freedom, Being Human, Choose Love Revolution, Lessons, non-violence, Spiritual Development

Acknowledging My Own Racism

Racism is a hot topic these days.  As it shows up in our media and our politics, we are reminded of the prevalence of racism in our country and those who suffer as a result.  As the topic of racism emerges front and center, I hear many white people arguing, “I’m not racist.”  I would suggest that if we need to defend our racism, we may, in fact, be racist.  As an awakened human being, I would like to say I am not racist.  However, when I am completely honest with myself, I am aware of the subtle ways in which I am, in fact, racist – not because I want to be, but because it was how I was conditioned.  The good news is that I can acknowledge the subtle ways in which conditioned racism comes out sideways and begin to do something about it.  I would invite you to also reflect on how racism may be present in your life, and what you might be able to do about changing that.

Acknowledging my Racism

As a white person of European descent,

If I don’t acknowledge my own racism,

It cannot be healed.

Ashamed am I to admit the subtle presence of racism within me –

The things I don’t mean to do, but come out anyway

because of my white, middle-class conditioning:

Making judgments based on what I think I am seeing

with nothing but conditioning forming that judgment:

 

What I’ve seen on TV.

Heard from family or friends.

What’s been portrayed in the media

 

The ease with which I’m tempted to judge a race

based on the singular action of a morning hold-up;

One man’s desperate action

unfairly coloring my view of an entire population….

 

Not really, but sometimes.

 

Ashamed am I of the vestiges of racism

that somehow took root in me by no fault of my own.

Knowing better, yet still aware of when the racism slips through.

 

I don’t mean it – but there it is:

The averted gaze

The skip of a heart beat

The racing mind

Anxiety

Clutching my purse more tightly toward me

Looking for an exit plan

 

For no reason other than the lies I’ve been told

And a few negative experiences…

 

But it was a white man who raped me;

and white men who have betrayed and abused me.

So why the unfair judgment of men of color

when life has shown me it’s white men I should fear?

 

Ahhhhhh – the power of conditioning.

 

But I now understand I can choose otherwise.

As a self-aware human, I can move past my conditioning by:

Acknowledging it.

Seeing it when it arises in me.

Choosing otherwise.

And in the process, healing.

 

In my heart of hearts, I wish I could be completely free

of the subtleties of racism – because I know better.

But I humbly acknowledge I may never be completely free.

Even so, I am committed to doing what I can

for my own sake and for the sake of all those

who have been unfairly judged simply because of the color of their skin…

 

I know as human beings we are ONE,

and it is only fear that divides…

and when we heal that fear,

we find that only love remains…

And I choose love!

 

Copyright 2019  Lauri Ann Lumby

 

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Author:

I am the founder, owner of Authentic Freedom Academy and the Spiritual Director of the Order of the Magdalene and the Order of Melchizedek. Our mission is to provide education, community and support for those seeking to become self-actualized. Authentic Freedom (dot) Love is our learning community.