After death is the promise of new life. This is the Easter message and the law that nature teaches us over and over and over again. A seed it planted. It germinates and grows. It matures and bears fruit. It dies, returning to the earth where it plants the seeds for the next life to begin.
So is the true of our human experience. Even our cells are continually involved in this eternal journey of birthing, growing, maturing, dying, and then being born again.
But this dying and rising is not limited to the growth of our cells. This is the eternal dance of our human experience – if we have the courage to surrender to the journey – especially when it all looks like death. Like it felt for me on Monday. Facing the end of our dreams, is one of those moments that feels like death. For me, this death was palpable. I felt like death. I felt the weight of death. I felt as if my body had become my own tomb made out of lead.
Then yesterday I woke up to the dawn of a new day. Rather, I woke up to the void – the place within the tomb where the life that once was lay in repose. It was an apt position for the final session of a 5 year journey (for some, longer for others) I had been facilitating – learning as I go. This was the final session of the Order of Melchizedek training that I have been piloting locally before making it wholly available online. In this portion of the training we had been studying the Aleph Beis and its connection to the major arcana in the Tarot. Yesterday’s lesson (the final lesson) was on the Hebrew letter “Tav” and The World card in the tarot. You will have to take the class to understand how these two seemingly opposing systems are connected, but as a way to bring the course to a close, I facilitated a shamanic journey for those in attendance, while joining them in my own journey.
In my journey, I was led to every journey I had done before. I was brought to every location, every person, every being, every animal, etc. and in each scene, that which appeared to be outside of me was absorbed into me. All perceived division was absorbed into and became part of me. This absorption continued and continued and continued, until I saw that I had become a black hole. I was the black hole and I was in the black hole, drawing in and absorbing every single aspect of the life I have lived so far. It was all drawn inward toward the center of the black hole – a center that doesn’t really exist. The energies of my whole life were being drawn in and compressed – compressed to the point of nothingness and everything. The depths of the void filled with unlimited potential. All that has been was being compressed, transformed and was becoming “fuel” for the life of the black hole. What I then came to understand is that everything was being compressed – the old life was coming to an end, and was being used as fuel/compost for the new life/new world/new universe that will burst forth out of the other side of the black hole once maximum compression was reached.
Today I sit in the black hole. Nothing more to do. Nothing more to be. This world I have known is done. Complete. I am whole. I sit in the void as the new life is being born in secret. I will know it when it arrives. Until that time. I simply am – Lauri.