Last Friday I hit the wall. I found myself overcome with the darkness of our world, despairing over that which causes me pain, confusion, frustration and deep sorrow. As I shared my experience, I was surprised (not really) by the deafening silence when speaking of the darkness. The only thing interrupting the silence was a post by one arguing for the light. “Keep your chin up……” they said. At the time, I DID NOT want to keep my chin up, or look for the silver lining in the cloud. I needed to wallow in the darkness – embracing the depth of sorrow, frustration and pain. Not for the sake of self-flagellation, but for the purpose of transformation.
As a shadow worker, I have come to understand that the only way to transform the darkness, both within ourselves and in our world is to enter FULLY into the darkness. It is only by entering into the darkness that we are able to bring forth the light. While optimism has its place, there is a fine line between “the bright side of life” and repression. As the Buddhists say, “what we resist will persist,” so why not embrace the darkness so we can hasten our journey toward the light? Why wait around looking for the silver lining when the only way to the light is through the darkness?
Before I go on, I do want to thank one dear friend who shared her genuine concern that I had come to the edge of the cliff. For indeed I had…..just not the cliff she thought. Instead, it was the cliff that my Soul Brother, Jared, invited me to jump off from, “Lauri, what would happen if you just allowed yourself to freefall?” I thought I had been doing this, but apparently not enough. So (after a two hour soul purging/transformation/healing chat with my Soul Brother) I let go AGAIN allowing myself to fall into the darkness and in falling into it, I fell through it. I woke up this morning with a whole different attitude, and saw what had been in front of me the whole time. Then while in yoga this morning, I was given the outline and kick in the pants I have needed for two years to finally get my Order of Melchizedek online training program off the ground. (Official announcement coming soon!!!!)
The moral of the story is this: If you find yourself in the darkness, don’t run from it. Embrace it. As every shadow worker knows, on the other side of the dark (or within the darkness) is the light that has been there all along!
Or as the Psalmist said, “In you, darkness and light are but one.” (GO, there are so many ways to interpret that phrase!!!!)
PS Dear friends: I promise if I have truly come to the end of my rope….I will definitely let you know!