When All You Want to do is Cry

For 53 years, the last 26 especially, I have waved the banner of peace, love and joy; truly believing that our world could be a better place and we might actually have a role to play in making it a better place. Not only did I believe we had a role to play, but that we indeed have a responsibility, along with the ability to make a positive change.  As it is said in a recent meme that’s been floating around cyberspace:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

and the courage to change the things I can.

I still believe that we have the responsibility to change our world. The problem is 1) I sometimes wonder if people give a shit and 2) I’m beginning to wonder how much power we actually have to facilitate change.

Problem #1: People not giving a shit!

Gandhi said it well, “BE the change you want to see in the world.” He went on to say that change starts within.  Martin Luther King, Jr. said the same thing….as did Jesus (“the kingdom of God is within.”).  For the majority of the past 25 years, I have created and facilitated processes and programs to assist people in making that inner change – moving away from the fears, false perceptions and ego attachments that might otherwise be a hindrance to their knowledge of their true nature which is LOVE.  When we know that we are love, we are peaceful and content, accepting of others, tolerant (more than tolerant, welcoming) of diversity, generous, kind, welcoming of others, able to share our resources, and concerned less about our own selfish needs, and more about the needs of the common good.

Herein lays the source of the “people not giving a shit” problem. In order to change within, we have to change without.  We can no longer go around gathering up everything we can for our own selfish needs; we can no longer step on or over the bones of those who have less in our quest for MORE; we can no longer turn a blind eye to those in need; and we can no longer discriminate against other human beings by calling them lazy, ignorant or sinful.  If we are love….EVERYONE is love.  And that means everyone.  We no longer get to stand on our superiority as Americans, or White, or Male, or Straight, or Christian, or any other title we give ourselves that makes us feel better than anyone else.

But human beings LOVE being special, privileged, above, better than, separate in every way we possibly can be. Hence our current divide:  rich/poor, straight/gay, Christian/other, Republican/Democrat, Hardworking/ Lazy, Legal/illegal alien.  When we paint ourselves into our corner of privilege, we get to justify our non-loving actions toward others.  And we don’t have to look very far to see how much of an asshole we have become…and how we have “benefitted.”  And we do not want to give that up.

Which brings me back to my point. People do not give a shit.

They do not want to change their inner being because of what they might have to give up in the process…or worse, what they might have to DO.  

Read my article on collective sloth HERE.

Problem #2: I’m no longer sure we have the power to change.

This makes me excruciatingly sad. As I watch the news and the ongoing disintegration of our society I am shocked….and a little bit afraid.  While I refuse to give into fear, I often wonder, WHO IS REALLY IN CHARGE???????  It is clearly not the American people.  It is definitely not our “elected” officials who stand by in silence as the shit show just gets more and more bizarre (with the possible exception of Elizabeth Warren….thank you Elizabeth for NOT BACKING DOWN).  Again, it seems our representatives are not representing the American people, but are only representing those who paid for their elections.  And then there’s that man who our media keeps calling our president.  I didn’t vote for him (though I’m not sure Hillary would have been any better).  Everyday as the shenanigans escalate I scratch my head and ask, “WTFing F” and I have seriously run out of expletives to communicate the confusion, rage, disgust, frustration, anger, etc. etc. etc. over the unbridled behavior of a toddler in the White House.  I don’t get it.  How did we get here?????   Who got us here?  AND WHY?????  Clearly we are not in charge, and if we are not in charge, then what power do we actually have to support and facilitate change?

This brings me to only wanting to cry. I find I have no other response to what is happening in our society.  For 26 years I’ve tried to be a voice/vessel/force for positive/loving change.  But I have nothing left.  From the highest perspective I understand what is happening (the death of the patriarchy), but I’m tired.  Jesus tried for three years…I’ve tried for more than thirty.  I’m done trying. If you are one of those who wants to do the work of changing within so that you can be a vessel of positive loving change in the world, you know where to find me.  In the meantime, I’m just going to be here grieving for our dying world and trying my best just to be love.

3 thoughts on “When All You Want to do is Cry

  1. Hi, Lauri, of course your comments come on the heels of our 4th of July celebration My community hosts a parade every year to mark the occasion. Everyone comes and it is one of the few instances when we seem to abandon those issues that divide us and simply have a good time in one another’s presence. People erect tents in their yard and invite friends over for refreshments and some adult beverages. Some of the different neighborhoods within the community construct floats to depict the theme of the parade. The kids decorate their bikes, bands march etc. It’s a time when we simply celebrate our country’s identity in the traditional sense, “the land of the free and the home of the brave”. Fireworks light up the sky in Washington, Boston, and elsewhere. We suspend for one day all the rancor that divide us seemingly on a daily basis.
    Of course tomorrow comes and with it the same problems persist which leads me to ask the question, “What reality will you choose”? Will you choose the reality of your life within or will you choose to swim in the ongoing, often maddening, flow of events without in our world? Although such an intentional decision is not attractive for a number of reasons (that for the moment we can put aside) I have come to conclude that we must knowingly decide which lifestyle to embrace. My perception is that our actions will flow from the lives that we live within. If we are sincere about living those lives according to our deepest beliefs and guidance from the Divine, our actions will emanate outward as sure as night follows the day. Just because the world seems to be going to Hell in a hand basket does mean that we have to jump into the basket. Let our actions radiate from our convictions within even though they may have sacrificial implications for us.

  2. I think that’s our only core responsibility…to be LOVE. Like a song says, “there is a purpose for everything.” …and along with that purpose comes growth in that LOVE thru finding out HOW to love that purpose (letting go of ego). For example, a lot of people share ur opinions on Trump, yet a lot of people do not share ur opinion. Both of these examples are that of ego. When letting ego go, u find love and acceptance. But thru the process of letting go (which sucks!!), THAT’S where the growth begins!

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: