Existential Crisis # 874. I have spent my whole life working toward saving the world. I think it started with a dream, but I believe this desire was present long before the dream. Somewhere inside me has always been this feeling that something is wrong. Something wrong with the world. Something wrong with the people around me. Something wrong with me. So, for 53 years, I have tried to fix that “something wrong.” Trying to fix this “something wrong” has been directed at myself, at those around me and at the world. Finding my way into ministry, spiritual counseling and then developing courses in support of people’s journey toward self-actualization (you know…the journey of “getting better”) fit perfectly into this inner drive to save myself, the people around me, and saving the world. For 26 years, my identity, my work, my creativity has been directed toward this idea of saving the world. But much of this, it seems, has come to an end (or is it a fulfillment?)
Yesterday, as I was sitting in the void which follows the end of what has been, facing down the consequences of the mission to which I have dedicated the last 26 years of my life and trying to find the fruits of these 26 years of really hard work (a few books, some happier people, some great relationships), I came upon a profound question:
What if there is nothing wrong and therefore nothing and no one to save?
Then my brain exploded.
Or did it?
When I look at this question from the perspective of the journey toward self-actualization, I find I might have come to the end (of course there’s never really an end) to my own journey. If the “goal” of self-actualization is Union with our true self and Union with the world, then it seems logical that in that place of Union all duality falls away. All perceived separation is brought together as one. In this, there is no “Us” and “Them,” we are all one in this journey we call life and we are all here to support each other’s awakening and journey toward wholeness. In this place of mutual support, there is no judgment. There is nothing wrong. Every single person is simply where they are on their journey. Period. As such, there is no one and nothing to “save.” When we think there is someone who needs saving, or we get our undies in a bundle over things of this world, it is because we remain in separation. When in Union we know and trust that all that is unfolding is doing so for the highest good and we are able to find peace and contentment within that unfolding (or at the very least, equanimity) and we realize that nothing is in need of saving.
That being said, there are tools that help us along the way and until I am shown otherwise, I am happy to share the tools that came through me and have worked for me in finding release from the perceived separation that has made me want to save a world that as it turns out, doesn’t need saving.