As the veils continue to fall, unmasking the unholy masculine as it has been present within our world (especially as it has been expressed through sexual violence against women and children), we would be remiss if we did not also acknowledge the unholy feminine and the damage it has done to all of us – male and female alike.
As I said in my blog on Thursday, women are not innocent. Yes, as it is true for men, the vast majority of women are kind, thoughtful, generous, and compassionate; and couldn’t think of doing harm to another human being – especially the men in their lives. But then, there are those women. We all know them, and perhaps we have (wittingly or unwittingly) been them ourselves:
- Women who use their sensuality, charm, sexuality to manipulate and control men.
- Women who marry men for money or because of the position of power he is in.
- Women who brow-beat, nag, whine, and abuse their male partners, projecting their own unhealed wounds onto the men in their lives, blaming them for all that ails them instead of taking responsibility for their own sh.t!
- Women who trap men into unplanned pregnancies and then extort money, support, etc. from these men.
- Women who lie, cheat, are unfaithful and steal from the men in their lives.
- Women who destroy men financially, emotionally, even sexually.
- Women who use others for their own gain and then cast them away when they are finished with them.
Like the symptoms of the unholy masculine, the symptoms of the complicit feminine go on and on and on. As much as our culture has been harmed by the unholy masculine, so too has it been harmed by the unholy feminine. This is further complicated by the unfortunate ways that we as women have done harm to each other. We are our own worst enemies when we criticize, condemn and demean each other for being too fat, too flat, too tall, too smart, too independent, too successful, or the opposite – too pretty, too skinny, too short, too dumb, too needy, too lazy, etc. Have you seen the movie Mean Girls? It pretty much sums up the collateral damage we have done to each other. Why? Because we are insecure in who we are and in order to feel better about ourselves we have to make each other feel like crap. UGH!
As the saying goes, before we point out the splinter in our brother’s eye, we first have to remove the plank from our own. As women we need to recognize where we have engaged in the unholy aspects of womanhood and do the difficult work of healing the inner wounds and unacknowledged fears that have caused us to act in non-loving ways – toward ourselves and then toward others. Only then can we begin to bridge the gap between ourselves and the men out there who are truly ready and worthy of our greatness.