Every day as part of my morning ritual, I pull one card from my Gnostic Tarot of the Saints deck (Robert M. Place 2001). For the past three mornings, I have pulled the Death card. While the appearance of this card might strike fear in the hearts of many, I find the Death card to be a huge source of comfort. Maybe it is due to my gifts as a shadow worker – a master in confronting and dealing with the parts of the human experience from which most would run. More likely, it is because I understand that death is not death at all…it is simply the boundary between that which has (and likely needs to) come to an end and that which is waiting to be born. As resurrection after death is the promise of Christian belief, so is it the promise of the tarot – in every death is the promise of new life – we need simply be open to receiving it. Pulling the death card on three consecutive days suggests that the death one has just faced, or is currently facing is a HUGE one. It also suggests that the new that is coming into being is equally as huge.
This must certainly be the case for me. As I have mentioned many times over, the past three years have been a DOOZIE! Letting go. Releasing. Surrendering. Letting go some more. Complete surrender and supplication. Many times in the past three years I have uttered the prayer, “WTF????!!!!” My recent move has invited a HUGE release including many aspects of my work about which I had become comfortable. Our new place is AMAZING and feels so much more like home and perfectly reflective of my vibe….and yet I find myself in the time between what has ended and what has not yet begun. It is an insecure and uncertain time. If the BIG MOVE and the BIG LETTING GO wasn’t enough, I recently went through an experience of something that seemed to be the fulfillment of a lifelong dream, only to have it turn to dust in my hands. This brought forth an ending I had never anticipated along with a grief proportionate to that ending.
With all of this, it is no surprise that the Death card should appear. Again, while the appearance of this card might strike fear in the hearts of many, I am finding profound comfort in the presence of Death. Death is saying to me, “Lauri, what no longer serves has come to an end. You have surrendered these unto Me and now you are free of them. Completely free. You will no longer be burdened by those things that no longer serve your highest good and which no longer support the mission you are called to fulfill.” As Death so lovingly stated, I feel completely free of these things and utterly at peace.
This is not all that Death has to say, however. “Lauri, now is the time for rest. As Jesus rested in the tomb for three days and three nights, so too are you invited to rest. Be with what has been and allow yourself to be healed and transformed from what in the past may have harmed you. As a caterpillar in the chrysalis, allow yourself to be made new. As it was true for Christ, as is true for the caterpillar, the new can only be made in the depths of the darkness. The new is not of your making and requires no effort on your part as like the caterpillar, it is a work that arises out of the depths of your Soul, coming forth from your own Divine blueprint. In this you need do nothing. Simply be. Wait. Be patient. Trust. When it is time to come forth out of your tomb, you will know it and you will come forth into a whole new world, the likes of which you cannot even imagine.”
To this I say, “Thank you Death. I welcome you with open arms and surrender into promise of new life.”
Big endings lead to even bigger beginnings…and to this I say, “Bring it!”