What do we do when the Universe is emptying us of everything we have known in our lives, when everything on which we have depended for our fulfillment and survival is slowly being stripped away?
These are the questions I am asking myself at this very interesting juncture in my life. Every single way in which I have defined, experienced, described my life in the past 20 years is quickly falling away. Every label I have given myself, every title, every name, has become irrelevant. In this, I find myself without a name, a title, a way to describe myself, my business, or the work I do in the world. I feel as if I am floating in the middle of the ocean in a boat without a compass, rudder, sail or paddle to guide me. In this, I know I am not alone as I look upon the lives of my spiritual brothers and sisters, and the world at large, which all seem to be going through a similar emptying.
In the past, this level of emptying might have frightened me. But, at the ripe young age of 52, I have had enough experiences of letting go and emptying to know that this emptying is not without purpose. I also know that fighting the death only delays its end, making the letting go all that more painful. Instead, I have surrendered. I have completely surrendered myself into the arms of the Divine Mother who explained in her own voice that she is carrying me to where I need to be. It is only through complete and radical surrender that She can carry me. So surrender I have done. I am allowing myself space to grieve the end of what I have known. I am allowing myself the freedom to STOP making plans, to STOP coming up with ideas, strategies, the next great formula for professional success. Instead, I am allowing the emptying and allowing it some more.
I am surrendering and allowing because there is something else I have learned in this 52 year journey – when we surrender into the arms of the Divine, when we let go of our own planning and orchestrating, when we calm the inner fears that cause us to cling to what we have known out of some false sense of security, we are brought into a life far better than the one we had before – one that we could never imagine for ourselves, one so great and magnificent that we would think ourselves unworthy. This is the life that I will have room for once the dying and the emptying is complete. And to this new life I say, “AMEN.”