Posted in Authentic Freedom, Empowerment, Midlife Journey

Midlife – Time to Put on your Big Girl and Big Boy Panties!

If the purpose and goal of the midlife transition is to clear out all the inner and outer obstacles and make way for the birth of our Soul – the uniquely creative way in which we have been gifted to find meaning and purpose in our life and to contribute to the betterment of the world, then it is time to put on our big girl and big boy panties!  Only the truly brave and courageous will succeed in their goal.  The rest, will be doomed to a life of quiet desperation,  – just sayin! (not that there is anything wrong with making that choice).

put on your big girl panties!
put on your big girl panties!

It is Your Choice

The midlife (including perimenopause and menopause) journey is ultimately about choice.  Do we want to spend the second two-thirds of our life discontent, restless, bored, unfulfilled, anxious, worried, depressed and lonely?  I don’t know about you, but I want more out of my life.

  • I want the authentic freedom that is my birthright, my Divine inheritance.
  • I want to experience what the ancients might call “the kingdom of God” or “heaven on earth.”
  • I want work that is meaningful.
  • I want to identify, cultivate and find purpose in my creative gifts.
  • I want meaningful, healthy, intimate friendships.
  • I want a mutually supportive, nurturing and respectful love with a shared sense of purpose.
  • I want to know peace in a world that might seem chaotic.
  • I want to experience contentment, love and joy with the time that God has given me.

I don’t think this is too much to ask, and all the ancient masters tell us that this is what life is supposed to be.  The problem, however, is that many don’t believe they deserve a life better than the one they have found themselves in and even more don’t believe they have a choice in the matter.  Well guess what?  THEY ARE WRONG.  We all have a choice about what we want to do with our lives, more importantly, we do get to choose what we feel about it.  In order to choose something different, however, we have to have COURAGE.

Confronting what we swept under the rug

In order to accomplish the midlife task of birthing our Soul, we have to confront everything that we have spent the past 30-50 some years sweeping under the rug. We have to confront EVERY unhealed wound.  For some, this might mean acknowledging that wounding actually took place.  Until we are ready to confront hurt, betrayal, disappointment, loss and even abuse, we sometimes have to ignore (suppress or repress) that is even took place.  As we approach midlife, our Soul conspires to free us from these hurts and begins to kick the rug under which these things have been swept.   When the debris of our past is unleashed upon us, it can, at first, feel traumatic, but the intention is not to harm us or make us crazy, it is to help us heal and release the things of the past so that our true self can emerge.  When the debris is freed, we have a choice, we can seek support and assistance with confronting these issues, or we can try, once again, to sweep them under the rug.  The courageous seek support and find healing.  The fearful simply create more stress and anxiety for themselves through all the effort it takes to keep their truth under the rug.

Time to put on our big girl and big boy panties!

The other thing that happens in midlife is related to life changes.  For many, their current life contains reflections of the Soul, but in midlife, the Soul wants more.  As the Soul begins to emerge, it shakes up the perceived security of our lives and challenges the status quo.  In order to allow our Soul its fullest expression, we may have to change the structure of our lives and be ready to let go of what is no longer supportive of the Soul to welcome a life that we do not yet know.  This is scary.  But again, the courageous meet this invitation head on and work through all the inner fears and resistance to change, thereby allowing the birth of the Soul.  Others, run the other way.  At the end of the day, if we really want to embrace a life that is fulfilling, content, loving, peaceful and joyful and on which has meaning and purpose and helps to contribute to the betterment of the world, we have to put on our big girl and big boy panties and embrace the Courage that God gave us to succeed in this task.  And if we think we do not have courage – this is where we are VERY wrong.  Courage is an inner quality that we all possess.  We decide if we want to use it or not.

Lauri Lumby works with people one-on-one in identifying and clearing the obstacles to the birth of their soul.  To set up your own personal phone or Skype session, call (920) 230-1313 or email


I am a trained, professional Spiritual Director, Author and Hands-on Healer. I offer services, programs and classes that empower you to hear the voice of the Divine that speaks from within you. It is the voice of the Divine that leads us to our highest truth, to the discovery and cultivation of our gifts and to a life of Authentic Freedom where we know contentment, compassion and joy. Your truth will set you free!

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