Posted in Midlife Journey

What to Expect in Midlife and Menopause – Shattering Illusions

The purpose of a midlife crisis, perimenopause and menopause (from a spiritual perspective) is to move us beyond childbearing to birthing ourselves…and this is as true for men as it is for women.  During midlife and menopause, we are invited to leave behind the life we have known to make room for the new life that is trying to be born through us.  In birthing our new selves, we are birthing our Soul – the unique way we are creatively gifted to find meaning, purpose, connection and fulfillment in our lives and the way in which we find fulfillment by contributing to the betterment of our world.  Last week, we talked about the midlife crisis or awakening that heralds the midlife journey (which includes menopause), the process of revisiting our past and the map of midlife.  Today we continue the process of exploring the many aspects of midlife by examining the illusions and attachments that we will be invited to release. 

midlife, menopause shattering illusions
midlife, menopause shattering illusions

Dealing with Midlife and Menopause – when it all comes tumbling down

For many men and women facing the midlife and menopause transition, midlife becomes a time when all we had previously known about ourselves, everything that had previously given us a sense of security or comfort, every role we had embraced as a way of defining ourselves or as a way of being accepted by society, comes crashing down around our feet.  This is especially true of anything around which we may have formed an unhealthy or codependent relationship.  I call this aspect of the midlife journey “shattering of illusions” or “release from attachments.”  The things that we are invited to release touch all aspects of our life – our career, our relationships, our family dynamics, our social roles, our worship, our beliefs, our personal practices and habits.  For some, the shattering of illusions comes in a job that is suddenly no longer fulfilling (if it ever was.)  Others will have to face the truth of an unhealthy or unsatisfying love relationship and be forced to do something about it.  For some, the shattering of illusions might come through a crisis of faith or in the realization that the religion they put on a pedestal is just as imperfect as any other institution.  For many, the shattering of illusions will come in an opportunity to explore the possibility of a bigger God then they had previously allowed themselves and what this bigger God might mean for their membership within a particular denomination or congregation.  And for others, illusions will fall upon the realization of deeply suppressed truths about themselves including revelations from their past or the possibility of sexual yearnings different from the role they had previously cast for themselves.  The purpose of the shattering of illusions and attachments in midlife and menopause is to free us from all those things we have embraced which are no longer life-giving and which no longer support the person God/dess made us to be.  In releasing these attachments, we are making space for the “yet to be revealed” Soul of ourselves that seeks to be born through the midlife and menopause transition -the uniquely creative gift through which we are intended to find meaning, fulfillment, purpose and connection in our lives and through which we are called to serve the betterment of our world.

If you are facing the midlife-menopause transition and in need of guidance and support, Lauri Lumby is available for one-on-one mentoring, workshops and classes.  To learn more, contact Lauri at (920) 230-1313 or email



I am a trained, professional Spiritual Director, Author and Hands-on Healer. I offer services, programs and classes that empower you to hear the voice of the Divine that speaks from within you. It is the voice of the Divine that leads us to our highest truth, to the discovery and cultivation of our gifts and to a life of Authentic Freedom where we know contentment, compassion and joy. Your truth will set you free!

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