Posted in Being Human, creativity, Holy Spirit, Inspiration, women

Curly Haired Women are Rarely Well-Behaved

Exploring the genetic gift/curse of curly hair and its likely connection to creativity and an inability to conform (aka behave).  🙂    The spiritual journey toward embracing how God made us and who Goddess made us to be…creative, passionate, pioneers.

Laurias Kat

Marsha Brady is the Devil

Marsha….Marsha….Marsha…..the immortal lament of Jan Brady and all other curly haired women who grew up in the 70’s when long, luxurious, straight hair was held up as next to godliness and if your hair was anything less than stick straight, you were condemned to giving over at least half of your life to trying to make your hair behave (aka straight).  I personally lost years of my life to blowing my wavy hair straight and then finishing it off with 20 gallons of Aqua Net hoping to keep it that way and then praying like hell for no humidity and bargaining away my unborn children in exchange for the absence of rain.

A Child of the 70’s

Being a child of the 70’s, I spent a fair part of my life trying to control the unruly nature of my curly hair.  Blow drying, curling irons, straightening irons were necessary accessories for curly haired women in a straight haired world (things haven’t changed much…have they!!!???).  This was all fine and good, I learned, until I dared to try a short haircut, modeled after one of my 1970’s idols….Dorothy Hamill.  What stylists did not know in 1978 is that the “Hamill Camel” DOES NOT WORK ON CURLY HAIR…so I was forced to suffer the agony and humiliation of two years of horrible ugliness as I waited for a bad decision to grow out.  “Women with straight hair do not have to go through this,” I thought to myself as I watched the middle school princesses walk down the hall with beautifully straight hair and well-behaving feathered bangs.  SIGH.  So, not only was Marsha Brady the devil, now so were Dorothy Hamill and Farrah Fawcett, Kate Jackson and Jaclyn Smith!  Curse you straight haired women!

With Age Comes Wisdom

It took me many years but I eventually learned to embrace and maybe even love my curly hair.  With stylists that know what to do and products that assist (Psst:  My favorite curly hair products are Ouidad and Paul Mitchell), I can now wear my hair in ringlets like God/dess intended.  That does not mean that I don’t occasionally get caught up in a wild hair, especially during the doldrums of winter, and pull out a flat iron for that sleek Jennifer Aniston look.  Once spring is here, however, all bets are off and my hair it at the mercy of the 90+% humidity characteristic of the Midwest.  There are some interesting lessons I have learned, however, about curly hair, curly haired women (and men) and what seems like a genetic predisposition to misbehaving.  Somewhere in that curly haired gene, I believe, is a equally defiant gene that says, “I WILL NOT….and CANNOT CONFORM!”   (kind of like our hair!)


Myths, Wives tales and Nursery Rhymes

Remember this little ditty that was perhaps read to you at bedtime:

There once was a little girl

with a little curl

right in the middle of her forehead.

and when she was good, she was very, very good.

And when she was bad, she was horrid.

Yep.  I remember it too.  Along with something about “the devil’s curly hair” and the tendency toward curly hair among witches and evil goddesses.  In particular, I think of Medusa with her curling hair of snakes and eyes that when caught in your gaze, turned you to stone.  Myths, fairytales, nursery rhymes, legends all seem to suggest that curly hair is something to scorn, or at the very least, worthy of caution.  Curly haired women are dangerous.  Curly haired women are naughty.  Curly haired women are bad.  What I have learned in observing the lives of other women (and men) I know with the gift of curly hair, its seems there is some truth in these tales of old.  But, dangerous is simply a matter of perspective.  Curly haired women are only dangerous to those who cling to the status quo, who do not like change, who fear creativity, who run from emotion or  shun passion.  For like our hair, curly haired women tend not to be ones who will be obedient to the status quo or to some outside perceived authority.  Curly haired women (like our hair) cannot be controlled, neither can we be contained.  We don’t like being told what to do because (like our hair) we have a mind and a purpose, a direction and truth all our own.  So, yes, curly haired women are to be feared if you prefer to live within the tightly held constrictions of societal norms, expectations and standards; but to those who enjoy a life of freedom, a life where they feel supported in the pursuit of their wildest hair ideas, then curly haired women are not a danger, but a precious gift.  So, today I offer a toast to all the curly haired women out there for their courage, creativity, ingenuity, foresight and tenacity and another to the brave souls who are the grateful recipients of our magnificent gifts!

Lauri& Sasha

SOUL is the unique way you are creatively gifted to find meaning, purpose and connection. Soul, when engaged, leaves you feeling fulfilled, content and whole.  My mission is to help you BIRTH YOUR SOUL.  You can contact Lauri Ann Lumby, “Midwife to your Soul” at (920) 230-1313 or


I am a trained, professional Spiritual Director, Author and Hands-on Healer. I offer services, programs and classes that empower you to hear the voice of the Divine that speaks from within you. It is the voice of the Divine that leads us to our highest truth, to the discovery and cultivation of our gifts and to a life of Authentic Freedom where we know contentment, compassion and joy. Your truth will set you free!

8 thoughts on “Curly Haired Women are Rarely Well-Behaved

  1. Curly hair = mane, it is a Leo / Aries trait. Aries is the sign where the Sun, our Heart, is exalted, therefore Aries and Leo, ruled by the Sun, have this trait of possessing a mane. That’s right, I’m not stating it as curly hair because I feel you’re still not past the issue and use Curly as in not-straight, as in derrogatory comparison, while Mane is definitely a proud (Leo) term.

    Adjacent signs show off opposite traits, they’re the true opposites. So Virgo is the immaculate virgin, the perfect spotless impeccable with long straight hair.

    Aries and Leos are fire signs, they do not comply to other people’s rules, they are creative and pioneers, they are the game changers. Virgos (and their complementary Pisces) are on the contrary sheep, obsessed by the word normal who do not want to come out of the ordinary, showing off. They like to stay in the backstage, in the shadow, unnoticed. They comply. And they in the duality of victim-tyrant, manipulate and force others to comply. So Virgo and Pisces are very much associated with envy and evil-eye – they envy the valor and courage and excentricity and unconformism of those undisciplined hair people.

    I recently came across articles and even videos and UK TV shows concerning protruding inner vaginal labia of women that are obsessing and spending huge sums to clip that skin out and have what they say a perfect vagina. My take is that people who are very sexual naturally have extroverted sexual organs – but the paranoya regarding conforming with perceived stereotypes of society – it’s really a thing of their minds, perverted imagination – and being the “immaculate” virgin, REPRESSING THEIR SELF, compulsively drives them to force themselves to be introverted and ORDINARY, repressed sheep.

    IMHO, it is the destiny of all humanity to have manes. We all have to evolve to Christ, Ascended Master level. Christ is Greek for Integrity, whole, someone who is proud and Heart centered. He was shown with the Sun behind the head, he pointed to the Heart. He talked about children. That is ALL Leo symbolism: independence, autonomy, self-sufficiency, joy, creativity, recreation (forms of creation), children, Sun, Heart, radiance, Unicity, Unity, Oneness. Other than that, it’s been demonstrated that long hair is a major contributor to inter-dimensional communication aka intuition, premonition, it acts like antennae (re Google US Army Indians WWII hair, i found this but have my doubts about it being the Vietname War ).


    Wishing All Joy, Love and Light
    ((( <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 )))

    1. A very interesting perspective. And thank you for bringing to light the whole issue of labial mutilation. I am shocked and saddened when working with clients who struggle with issues around their sexual parts, especially when it is in response to someone else’s negative judgment of said parts. What I try to help them understand is that there is nothing wrong with their parts and the judgment is really a reflection of the other person’s unhealed wounds. It is difficult, however, to overcome the hurt feelings of being negatively judged, or even condemned, for something so personal as the look and size of sexual parts.

  2. I was blessed with straight hair and spent the same amount of time in the 60’s and 70’s trying to get that elusive “curl” at the end known as the “Flip”. we straight haired girls have our wild and crazy gifts too!

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