Loneliness and Longing

Flipping through my journal yesterday, I came upon a poem I wrote that was inspired by a line from Rilke, “You are the partner to her loneliness.”  The “You” to which Rilke is referring is God.  Here is my poem as it speaks to my own longing and the longing known by every mystic and contemplative in their spiritual search.

Partner to My Loneliness

You are the partner to my loneliness.

Loneliness like the red-draped Excalibur eviscerating my soul in excruciating emptiness and pain.

Loneliness that is the longing that cannot be fulfilled

neither by coin, nor task, nor present company.

A longing that drives me to seek

beneath every shrub

under every pew

up on every shelf

around every corner

and through every door

. . . all for naught.

For the remedy to this loneliness is not to be found in the world of men,

neither is it to be found in my bed

nor in my mind

nor in the fleeting approval of others.

This longing is only fulfilled in you.

in the quiet recesses of my soul where life has cut a trail

made of the pain

of my unfulfilled hopes

and unsatisfied dreams.

It is only here, when wedded to you that I find my bliss

and know that I am home.

– 2013  Lauri Lumby