Today’s blog discusses the process of discernment, specificially as it relates to purpose, vocation and call. How do we know the way in which we are uniquely gifted to reveal God in the world?
Calling it Quits?
The first half of 2012 has been a DOOZY! Starting with three professional situations that pulled the rug out from beneath my feet leaving me breathless and wondering if I should simply close up shop and go get a job at Target. Fortunately, I knew better than to make any hasty decisions and entered into this as a time of healing and prayerful discernment. It has not been an easy process as my normal sources of income dried up and I was forced to REALLY TRUST that God would provide for my needs – which God has in strange, mysterious, unexpected, and sometimes really uncomfortable ways. I offer a profound prayer of thanksgiving while at the same time not wishing this kind of radical trust on anyone! There have been many times in the past six months when I have wondered why I do the work that I do and if anyone really gives a damn (that’s my inner martyr speaking). More specifically, after struggling for 8 years to make a living in this crazy non-descript world of Contemplative Progressive Catholic Christian something or other, I have had to ask if making a living is even possible which then brings me back to the Target idea. (FYI…..I’m not ready to give up just yet…….there is something brewing in my big iron pot that might just blow the lid off my world and your world too! More on that soon!)
Double Double Toil and Trouble
As I have been processing the events of earlier this year and watching my normal sources of income disappear, I have placed all of this into the black cauldron of discernment. I have allowed these observations, along with any other ideas, insights, thoughts, dreams, hopes, guidance, suggestions, etc. etc. etc. that want to get stirred in my pot for examination, scrutiny, questioning, contemplation and prayer. As the cauldron has been bubbling, certain things have simply evaporated away as untruths, some are still sitting in the “I don’t know yet” part of the soup and a few have risen to the top as clear and true. One of the ways in which I identify the “clear and true” things is the ease with which they have come forth and the ease of energy within me to give myself to it.
The Clear and the True
In yesterday’s blog, Behold I Make All Things New, I revealed one of those things that have surfaced as “clear and true” – the gift and call to be prophet. There are two other items that presented themselves this summer that have proved to be absolutely effortless, complete with all of the practical supports I needed to accomplish these tasks. The first of these is around the novel I am hoping to complete this summer and publish this fall: Song of the Beloved – a memoire of Mary called Magdalene. The second is about teaching. With virtually no effort on my part, I have had the opportunity to share my Living in Freedom class with an amazing group of people who have found healing, insight and understanding about themselves through the work they have done in this class. YAY!
Which Brings me Back to Teaching!!!!!
Teaching, it seems, is the core and the connecting thread and perhaps the ONE purpose, vocation, call that has been trying to get my attention all along. (actually, it has never really lost my attention, I was just busy thinking of myself as a healer or the next great Anne Rice or J.K. Rowlings to really see it clearly.) When I examine all the work that I do: spiritual direction, reiki, writing, leading prayer, they really all point to and arise out of teaching. And what am I teaching? In a nutshell, I hope that I am teaching people to REMEMBER the LOVE that they are. Because at the end of the day, this is all we really want and all we really need. As I sit with this clearer and truer picture of “Lauri as teacher,” my heart starts to sing and all kinds of really cool ideas spring forth about how I might better accomplish this vocation (through God of course!) in a way that meets a larger audience. Maybe I can skip the red shirt and khaki pants afterall!
Where is God inviting you into discernment?
What is occupying your revolving door?
What is seeking to be discarded and what is rising to the top as “clear and true”?
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