Posted in detachment, Inspiration

Learning Detachment

What happens when we try to share our gifts in the world and find that some are unable or unwilling to accept our gifts.  As Jesus said, “shake the dust off your feet and walk away.”  Learning detachment is a critical tool in the journey toward self-fulfillment and peace.

Sharing my Gifts

As I became aware, a few weeks ago, of my life’s purpose – which is to help others remember the love that they are, I began to reflect on how I have used this call throughout my ministry and my life.  With this newfound awareness, I was astonished at how this “call” or “purpose” seemed to be making itself known all the way back to my earliest memories.  I remember seeing the best in people and wanting to help them know this about themselves as well.  Sadly, not all people are able or willing to see this good in themselves and will do everything they can to resist embracing this goodness.  In the past, I used to take this as a form of rejection of myself and my gifts.  Now, I know better.


Each and every one of us has a unique purpose and reason for being here and specific gifts we are called to share in the world toward this purpose.  It is through our purpose and through our gifts that the world can become a happier, healthier, more harmonious, loving and peaceful place.  Unfortunately, as you have probably already realized, not everyone is able to receive our gifts.  This is not because our gifts are not of value or because we are not of value.  It is simply a reflection of the other person’s unhealed wounds and the primary wound that remains unhealed is the wound that says they are not worthy or deserving of a vibrant, joyful, peaceful, fulfilling and love-filled life.  I remember very specific examples of this being played out in my own life as I have made my gifts available to others.  The invitation, when we try to share our gifts and the other is unable to receive them, is to practice the art of detachment.  Detachment is the art of being able to freely, generously and openly share our gifts without any attachment to the outcome.  Detachment allows us to share our gifts and not take it personally when another is unable to receive our gifts.

Detachment and Compassion

To some, the idea of detachment might seem cold or cruel….how do we just shake the dust off our feet and walk away from the people we care about who continue to choose fear, suffering, constriction and imprisonment in their lives?  Detachment, does not mean that we do not feel for the people in our lives.  Of course we can still feel compassion, even sadness, over their inability to remember the love that they are, to embrace freedom and joy in their life, to experience peaceful contentment, to be receptive to loving intimacy, to know fulfillment.  I know how truly sad I have felt when I see people I love continue to choose fear, constriction and an unfulfilling life.  I know how my heart breaks when I watch people I know continue the same destructive patterns.  Yes, we feel sorrow, empathy and compassion.  Detachment, is the skill that allows us to surrender to the process – to know that in sharing our gifts and holding another in love, we have planted a seed….and that in their own way, in their own time, if they so choose, that seed may take root and grow.  And that if it does not, that is ok too….we are all on our own unique and individual life journeys and we are still love regardless of whether or not we know it and regardless of how we choose to live that out in our lives.

Where have you shared your gifts and seen them joyfully received?

Where have you shared your gifts and had them not received?

How have you cultivated detachment in your own life?

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries


I am a trained, professional Spiritual Director, Author and Hands-on Healer. I offer services, programs and classes that empower you to hear the voice of the Divine that speaks from within you. It is the voice of the Divine that leads us to our highest truth, to the discovery and cultivation of our gifts and to a life of Authentic Freedom where we know contentment, compassion and joy. Your truth will set you free!