Posted in Lessons, Spiritual Formation

Reflections of Ourselves

There is a harsh, cruel truth in the nature of the human condition.  This truth is that what is going on outside of us is reflective of what is going on within.  The good news is that there just might be a benevolent Divine Source that sometimes breaks through and invites us to something different….if we have the courage to say “yes.” 

Smoke and Mirrors

There is a harsh truth that we begin to recognize as we move along the path of spiritual growth.  This truth is that what is going on outside of us is frequently reflective of what is going on within.  Let me give you a few examples.

  • If all we have ever known is dysfunction, co-dependency, abuse, emotional starvation….it is likely that our intimate relationships, friendships, etc. will reflect this and be co-dependent, abusive, emotionally bereft, etc.
  • If we loathe ourselves, we will find people in our lives who are happy to loathe us back.
  • If we are critical and judgmental of ourselves, we will draw to ourselves people who criticize and condemn us.

Got the picture?  This is a really hard truth to have to take a look at because it invites us to hold the mirror up to ourselves and ask the question, “What in me needs to be healed so that I can be open to external life experiences that are more kind, loving, tender, supportive, etc.?”

Accepting the Invitation to Growth

But what is cool about taking a look in that mirror is that we CAN heal and be transformed.  As we do the tough inner work of naming and giving up for healing our spiritual, emotional and mental wounds, we find greater balance, a deeper sense of wholeness, we become more content, peaceful, joyful and loving…..AND…..our external life experiences begin to reflect that.  We meet new people, cultivate new relationships, are given different professional opportunities that now reflect our healthier inner state, and that is really cool!  We also learn to say “no” to those things that are no longer reflective of the love and support that we now know we deserve.

Pop Culture Theology of Blame

As we begin to explore how our outer experiences reflect our inner terrain, there is one great temptation, however, and that is the temptation to blame.  “It is my fault if I don’t have loving supportive relationships around me.  I must be carrying the wrong thoughts, holding the wrong intention, etc. if all my life experiences are not reflective of peaceful contentment, joy and abundance.”  And, there are many so-called “spiritual” resources out there that will tell you just that.  The good news is that this is not really how it works.  Yes, our outer life is reflective of what is going on inside, AND there IS such a thing as Divine Timing and Divine Intervention.

Divine Intervention

So, let’s say that we feel really crappy about ourselves and observe that many of our relationships or life experiences reflect that.  HOWEVER… seems there is always someone or something that breaks the rule…..that stands out as an amazing source of support, nurturing, validation, when everything else around us seems to suck.  I have had many situations where someone came into my life and allowed me to see that something other than what I have known was possible.  These people have shown up as teachers, bosses, authors of books that have fallen into my lap, even people showing up in dreams to show me that there is another way, another path and another choice.  I didn’t “think the right thoughts” to get these people to show up….something else drew them to me……AND  I had to be open enough to see the message and receive it.

Divine Timing

Yeah, sometimes we do not get what we want when we want it.  We might think all the right thoughts, work our butts off to heal our old wounds, etc….and still peaceful contentment, joy, love, the supportive job, partner, etc. eludes us.  The pop-culture theology of blame would then have us to back, re-examine EVERY thought, intention, desire, exhume our wounds and look for what is left to heal, then go about working harder on ourselves.  But guess what….sometimes it is simply a matter of TIMING.  Something bigger than ourselves knows what is in our highest good and knows WHEN it is best for us to receive it.  Our job….to do the work, but to wait and trust that the fruits of the labor will show up in PERFECT DIVINE timing.  Not an easy task in an immediate gratification culture!

The Invitation:

The invitation, then, if we want a more contented, joyful, loving life?

  • Do the work of healing our inner selves
  • Be open to the outward transformation that will take place as a result of this work
  • Grieve the losses of those things that will naturally fall away (as they are no longer supportive of the “new you”)
  • Be open to Divine Intervention
  • Surrender to Divine Timing

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries


I am a trained, professional Spiritual Director, Author and Hands-on Healer. I offer services, programs and classes that empower you to hear the voice of the Divine that speaks from within you. It is the voice of the Divine that leads us to our highest truth, to the discovery and cultivation of our gifts and to a life of Authentic Freedom where we know contentment, compassion and joy. Your truth will set you free!

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