As we move along the path of spiritual growth and enlightenment, we are sometimes called to let go of everything we thought we knew about ourselves so that we can be open to something new. The good news is that in every death resides the promise of new life!
Reflections on the Batcave
On the Ides of March (March 15th), I moved out of my home of 12 years and stepped into the great unknown. Preceding this date were several dreams involving bats, so I decided to call this time of spiritual darkness (ie: a time of unknowing) “the Batcave.” As would be expected, immediately upon setting up a dwelling in the Batcave, despair set in. (Divorce, grief, loss, etc. can do that to you.) I felt overwhelmed, frustrated, impatient, sad, lonely and mad as hell. I shook my fist at God and said, “Now what do you want from me?” Two days later, the response arrived, “Forty Days in the Desert.” Ok, I could handle that…. a time to reflect, to heal, to be tempted and to face all my inner demons (and this I surely did!). I found comfort and consolation in the idea that the time of spiritual darkness would be finite and would be toward a higher purpose. So, I surrendered to the idea that this would be my 40 days in the desert and the universe gently opened and I found relief from many of the struggles I had been facing. That is not to say that temptation did not rear its ugly head – because it certainly did….and I did my best to meet it head on….some times more successfully than others.
Remove the Stone from the Tomb
The irony is that 40 days from the Ides of March was EASTER SUNDAY!!!! Seems like God has a sense of humor. And sometime around Easter Sunday, it seemed that the stone was rolled away from the door of my tomb and a little bit of light began to shine inside. While in Minneapolis helping my parents after my dad’s kidney surgery, a morning for personal reflection opened up for me. I decided to revisit Julie Tallard’s Book, The Wheel of Initiation. As I opened the book, I found it was time for me to enter the East – the place of thresholds, new visions, new life, the completion of the initiatory process. I had entered the wheel with the intention, “I receive everything as love.” In a morning of moving through the practices of the East, I discovered my new intention, along with the purpose, direction and course of my life. My new intention “I enjoy the abundant writer’s life.” As I found myself opening to receive this intention and this direction, the entire universe opened up, I felt hopeful, directed and supported. So, this is the new life that God (or my higher self, whatever you want to call it) wanted me to be open to receiving. After death and time in the tomb, comes the promise of new life….if we can be open to receiving and BELIEVING!
Believing – now there is the tricky part! Me, a writer? Me, a successful writer? Me a prolific writer? I hope so….but then again, I don’t have any real training as a writer (except the Baker/Evans gene pool which apparently includes the DNA required of a writer, and growing up in a newspaper family – can you say GRAMMAR POLICE?????). I’m a Business major with certificates in Theology and Spiritual Direction. How does that prepare me for the writer’s life? And, aren’t I too old to embark upon a writing career? Forty-six seems pretty old to start on a new path. Can this old dog learn some new tricks? In a word – YOU BETCHA!!!!!! (PS to all you editors out there….this also makes me the perfect client because I KNOW I don’t know anything….I NEED YOUR HELP!!!!)
The good news is that there is proof in the pudding. Once I accepted this call and began to focus my intention and my attention on writing, doors began to open. My client and class calendars began to fill up. People began coming to me asking to be trained to facilitate Authentic Freedom. Books are selling and ideas for new books are pouring in. (BTW – my next book, Christouch – A Christ-centered approach to energy medicine through hands-on-healing will be released soon.) So while I give witness to my inner doubts and fears about enjoying the abundant writer’s life and use the principles of Authentic Freedom – Claiming a Life of Contentment and Joy, to give release to these fears, the universe seems to be affirming the validity of this direction and this call. I’ll keep you posted!
Where have you been invited to let go of what you thought you knew about yourself to discover something new?
Are there things in your life that need to be released in order to make room for something new?
What tools do you use to move through the fears and doubts that come with the invitation to new life?
Authentic Freedom Ministries