Sometimes in our spiritual journeys we are invited to take a leap of faith and sometimes what we think is a leap of faith might be just us pushing to make things happen. How do we know the difference between pushing and going with the flow? ARGH!
Lessons from my Teacher
About a year ago I started working with a spiritual teacher who has opened my eyes to a tendency I have to “push things to make them happen.” OUCH! And I always thought I was heeding God’s call and taking leaps of faith. She pointed out to me the subtle difference between leaping when called for and pushing. Quite frankly, I’m still not sure I understand, but it might have to do with posture. As my teacher so delicately pointed out, life is supposed to be a flow and we are supposed to surrender to that flow. I imagine it like I’m Thumbelina riding the river currents in my dried-leaf boat. Pushing is more like that Greek god-dude who had to push the stone up the mountain, only to have it fall back again. (What is his name? Anyone?)
Learning to go with the flow
So for the past year, I have been practicing this flow piece. Of course there are times when I have pushed instead, but when the bat showed up and I was invited to enter into the cave (or the desert, whatever you want to call it), I had NO CHOICE but to surrender to this flow. In this flow, I had to let go of everything I thought I knew about myself and about what I was called to do in the world….both personally and professionally. I also had to face the demons of temptation, ego, fear, attachments, etc. etc. etc. I know I will never be “done”, as this is all part of the human journey, but I did have a profound opportunity to practice this flow thing. And in practicing this flow, a lot of amazing things have shown up – an affordable place to stay while journeying through the desert, some time to do some healing, a time to pray, reflect, meditate and discern….most importantly, a time to just be and let God do the work.
A New Opportunity
So now a new opportunity (or should I say opportunities) has shown up and I am faced with the question….is accepting this opportunity me going with the flow or me pushing? The first opportunity is to focus my intention more firmly on the call to be writer – that is an easy one since I’m already doing it…now I just get to do it more! YEA! The other opportunity is a little more tricky – the opportunity to make a commitment to a home of my own. (DEEP BREATH) This is a trickier one because it requires a commitment to that darn thing I really wish I didn’t have to deal with at all – MONEY! And it requires that I make enough of that darn thing to pay the mortgage, utilities, insurance, etc. etc. etc. And at this point in my financial journey…that might be a bit of a leap of faith…..HOWEVER….energetically, this feels like me surrendering to the flow rather than pushing because quite frankly….this house simply FELL INTO MY LAP….and much of the furnishings and accessories with it. Then I hear my own words echoing in my ear:
God meets all of our needs IN ABUNDANCE!!!!!!! (You will just have to read my book to get the rest of this lesson….it is in chapter three! :)) So today as I continue to discern this opportunity, I will be chewing on my own words and closely observing my posture. Am I able to receive the abundance God seems to be placing in my lap? Is this me going with the flow or pushing to make things happen? Stay tuned for the final decision!
Where are you tempted to push instead of allow?
Where are you called to go with the flow?
Authentic Freedom Ministries