In the spiritual journey, there comes a time when we are called upon to stand in our own truth….whatever the cost. For me, the time is now as I face the unfolding process of divorce. It is the Authentic Freedom process that has provided the courage and strength that has brought me to this place and will continue to carry me through the next stage(s).
There is a terrible danger in writing spiritual books. (Authentic Freedom – Claiming a Life of Contentment and Joy is being released in April!!!!). At some point, the Universe/God is going to expect you to put what you have written into practice. If you are going to be so bold as to write on spiritual topics, then you’d better be ready to walk the talk. I can tell you that this has never been more true for me than RIGHT NOW! As this (now nine month) divorce process has been unfolding there have been many times that I have wondered what possessed me to write this dang book in the first place. Every time that I have been afraid, frustrated, angry, grieving, the Universe taunts me by waving my book in my face and saying, “Lauri, here are the answers to all your frustrations! You wrote about it. Now do it!” ARGH!!!!!
It’s Time to Ramble On
So, now I find myself in a very important transition stage in this divorce. My husband and I filed for divorce on Monday and now I am making preparations to move. The immortal words of Robert Plant have been ringing in my ears as I prepare for this next step:
Leaves are falling all around, It’s time I was on my way.
Thanks to you, I’m much obliged for such a pleasant stay.
But now it’s time for me to go. The autumn moon lights my way.
Got no time to for spreadin’ roots, The time has come to be gone.
And to’ our health we drank a thousand times, it’s time to Ramble On.
(Here’s the YouTube clip for this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DW5ZLyY9w0Y )
God’s plan, not mine
The challenge in this step is that it is not happening the way I had planned. I had planned that at this point I would have a secure financial foundation, a booming business and a home to move my children to. Instead, I find myself in a transitory stage and having to rely on the hospitality and generosity of friends until the financial foundation presents itself to allow for part 2 of my dream. As I have moved through the past nine months and into this next stage, I have been plagued by the very fears that I present the remedies to in my Authentic Freedom classes and now book:
- There is not enough
- I have nothing significant to contribute to the world
- I can’t live and be as my most authentic self
- I am not loved
- I am not free to express my truth
- I do not know (my truth, my path, etc.)
- I am alone
While I sometimes snarl at God when I am in the place of these fears, I am also profoundly grateful for the spiritual practices that have allowed me to survive this journey to this point. And while I have shaken my fist at God and threatened to fire my God-Squad, I also know that this is part of being human and that God can take that as part of my spiritual practice as well. And, while my ego thinks it is in charge and knows what is best for me, I am comforted in knowing that there is a Spirit/God that really DOES know what is in my highest good and while I WANT to have my own home, the Universe is providing me with something even better – A PLACE TO HEAL.
The Gift of Authentic Freedom
So, as I enter into this next step in the process, I have no idea where the money is going to come from. I have no idea how my book will be received. I have no idea what I will be doing professionally. I have no idea where I will end up living (after the hospitality of friends). I wonder if there will be another love relationship. I wonder if I know anything at all or if I have ever known anything. But what I do know is that I have a place to live. I have been invited to take some time to heal. I have friends and family who love and care for me (and the feeling it mutual). I have amazing children who I love dearly. AND I AM NOT ALONE – along with all this support is a loving God who knows what is in my highest good and reveals the opportunities in which I am able to receive it. In the end, I guess that is all I really need.
Where have you come face to face with the fears listed above?
What spiritual practices have helped you to transcend, heal, give release to these fears?
Where are you being invited to be open to God’s plan and not your own?
Authentic Freedom Ministries