Posted in detachment, Surrender

It is None of my Business vs. Personal Responsibility

Today’s blog is in response to questions raised about embracing the philosophy of “It is none of my business” and how this may or may not be related to personal responsibility, especially when it relates to advocacy, being a source of support for another or in situations where we might seek a personal vendetta.  In the journey of spiritual growth and enlightenment, these are the hard questions we must all face.


Right off the bat, I want to make it very clear that I do not have all the answers…..and most of the time I’m not even sure I have ANY of the answers.  That being said, the question has been raised (by my readers) about how “none of my business” relates to the call to advocacy and personal responsibility.  HHHMMMM……Let’s explore.

None of my business

I have shared with my readers the philosophy of “It is none of your business” that keeps showing up in my personal journey….both in regards to my own compulsive need to plan, anticipate and know the path and outcome of my life and in regards to my tendency to carry the shadow of others (seeing others’ “faults” and thinking it is my job to fix it).  Employing the mantra, “It is none of my business” allows me to let go of my tendency to worry and fret and it frees me from the inner judge and inner control freak that thinks it is my job to decide what is best for others and it is my job to make them comply with what I think is in their highest good.  More importantly, embracing the attitude, “It is none of my business” opens up opportunities of time and energy to tend to myself, my own needs and my own gifts and talents, time that I used to spend worrying about outcomes and trying to control others’ journeys.

Life is not so Black and White

Here is where the question comes in, specifically the question that keeps coming up for my readers.  “What if we know that someone is in a harmful, abusive, unhealthy situation?  Is it still none of our business.”   Embracing the mantra, “It is none of my business” does not preclude personal responsibility or a personal call to activism.  If we know that someone is in a dangerous situation, compassion invites us to bring this to light.  It may be as simple as letting them know that the situation is dangerous and that there are other choices.  Sometimes we are called upon to be a source of support and help for others who seek to find another way.  Sometimes intervention is called for.  Sometimes reporting the abuse/danger to the proper authorities is necessary.  These are all ways that we fulfill our call to personal responsibility and advocacy in the human journey.  HOWEVER…..not everyone wants our support, not everyone wants to be healthy or to live a life-giving, joyful experience.  AND…we cannot make anyone do or receive anything they do not want for themselves.

The Balance

I believe that in the end, it is about inner balance.  What are we worrying or obsessing about?  What is causing us inner tension, anxiety, fretfulness?  “It is none of my business” allows us to let go of this inner yuk.  When it comes to our own journey, and the journey of others, all we can do is “plant the seeds,” then let go of our attachment to the outcome.  Because in the end, we have NO CONTROL over the outcome.  Neither do we have control over the choices of another.  And yes, this part sucks as we watch those we love continue to make unhealthy choices (in our mind), and suffer unnecessary pain (according to our definition). And this is again where “it is none of my business” comes in handy.  It allows us to let go of the inner tendency to worry about the choices of another when in truth we have no control over it.

One Final Thought

Then here was a very specific question regarding the responsibility to “report” a business professional for their lack of integrity.  HHHMMMM  A challenge to be sure.  If a law has been broken or we have experienced a business professional doing something that has been defined as unethical by their field, yes, we have a responsibility and a right to report it.  If someone has done us wrong, we have the right to no longer choose to do business with them.  We have the freedom to not recommend them to another person.  The temptation in situations like this, however, is to want to take personal action against the individual as a means of exercising a personal vendetta, to get revenge.  This is where we are invited to trust in the law of KARMA!  We are not going to make an unethical business person change their ways.  We are not going to re-sculpt the moral landscape of an otherwise dishonest person.  All we have in this situation is, “It is none of my business,” and the invitation to trust in karma….the universe will work it out in the end and it only takes time and energy away from our own gifts and call to dwell on the way the person has done us wrong and on thoughts of all the ways in which we hope to “set it right.”  SIGH!

Where do you spend time in unnecessary worry about another’s life?

How do you balance the call to advocacy and the invitation to detachment?

Where do you project your own ideals, morals, values on another?

Where are you tempted to seek revenge against another who has personally harmed you?

Lauri Lumby

Authentic Freedom Ministries


I am a trained, professional Spiritual Director, Author and Hands-on Healer. I offer services, programs and classes that empower you to hear the voice of the Divine that speaks from within you. It is the voice of the Divine that leads us to our highest truth, to the discovery and cultivation of our gifts and to a life of Authentic Freedom where we know contentment, compassion and joy. Your truth will set you free!

One thought on “It is None of my Business vs. Personal Responsibility

  1. “The Lord Is My Shepard,I Shall Not Want”
    This scripture is the wisdom of “The Prodigal Son’s” Father;the Selfless
    Grace of Christ Consiousness in the lives of others. Rendering evil powerless! It answers all the questions of how much is it my responsibility to get involved in anothers Unconcious Jeapardy? Our consiousness of Grace is that of the Father’s response to the envious older son’s unrealising the All in All of the Father’s Grace he and we have,our Father’s response to this envy and to our peace,was the same in every circumstance as the Father said in perfect love to him and us,”thou art ever with me,and all I have is thine”! If this had entered his concious deep enough in Christ,envy would have found no place,only a deep selfless fulfilled peace.
    If you never expect anything from anyone,you would never be disapointed. Our Grace in Christ’s sufficiancy is Selfless with only the desire
    to pour out supply in simplicity,even if only a few loaves and fish,the supply then comes from the Christ source of infinite supply within,taking no thoght of self. This is freedom in love without becoming overly Self involved,which can easily turn on you in a great weight of troubles,that
    could have been avoided! The simplicity of Christ is the Key! Having all
    the answers is not! Unless it flows from within Christ consiousness to a
    person that comes to you with a deeper sense of receptivity,sincerely seeking that which you have found;an eternal supply of infinite Grace the world knows nothing of. Not that which money can buy leaving you empty.
    At that moment the light is green without envy!
    As for the prodigal son,if the Father offered all the advise and enforcement not to leave,he would be running through a red light of only
    selfish empty anger,against a brick wall of hardening the heart of his son,
    and living in the dispair of his own deeply heartful words of loss forever!
    Instead the Father Selflessly poured out his love,wealth and personal freedom granted his son,inwardly knowing that was the only way the son
    would,on his own eventually come to himself,turning back towards the Selfless,loving,radiant face of his beloved Father who pricelessly valued
    his personal freedom and deeply found love. The mansions of our Inner
    Self await us all in Christ the builder of our true everlasting home,but will
    we aproach it towards others with the Sefless power changing simplicity
    of Christ’s Eternal light,or with selfish cuning craftiness of darkness and
    distruction disguised as Angels of Light? In the end,all we do to others,
    we have done unto the Impersonal,Selfless,One Scource of Life that
    Incarnated Personally towards our Life Eternal always in the Now-here
    the Unmanifested,Manifested. What we have done unto Him we have done
    to ourselves,and we shall reap what we sow! Come home “Prodigal Son”,
    your Father Selflessly,with all Radient Love awaits you! Sincerely,
    Jay P.Raeder

Comments are closed.