Who Are You?

The contemplative life is comprised of two primary actions:

  • Knowledge of God
  • Knowledge of Self

These two actions, undertaken through observation, engaging in spiritual practices and honest interior process (with or without the assistance of a trained professional such as a Spiritual Director or Counselor), are reciprocal in nature.  As we come to know ourselves, we come to know God.  As we come to know God, we come to know ourselves.

Today, I come face to face with this process in my own life.  I will be attending “The Power of the Pen” writer’s conference at the local community college and taking workshops in poetry and creative writing.  In attending this conference, I find that I have to admit that I am a writer.  As these words leave my consciousness and find their way to this blog, I find this admittance startling.  ME – a WRITER?   Come on…..who knew?????

I find it ironic that it took me well into my 40’s to recognize, honor and allow myself to nurture this secret gift.  As s child (I will leave the analysis of this to my therapist), I identified with my father and at a very early age, decided it wouuld be a good idea to pursue education and a future career as an Engineer.  As such, I focussed on math and science classes.  Now, these weren’t my favorite classes, but if I wanted to go to college to be an Engineer, this is what I had to study.  I have to laugh at how I was unable at the time to acknowledge that my favorite classes were actually English, Literature and writing.  Sometime, I would like to go back and kick the ass of my younger self and say, “Take the writing, English and Literature classes you twit and skip this boring Physics and Chemistry stuff!”   So, I followed this path, enrolled in college as a Bio-Medical Engineering student.  Needless to say, this course came to a fast, screeching halt as I unexpectedly discovered that I SUCK at calculus and that I have ABSOLUTELY NO spacial capabilities.  But, the path the English still remained closed to me.  There was a glimmer of a chance in my Freshman rhetoric class  until the professor gave me a “C” on a poetry interpretation assignment.  “How can you give a “C” for something that is PURELY subjective?  If this is the way they grade for English assignments, I want nothing to do with this crap!” I remember thinking to myself.

Without boring you with the remaining details, it was not until I embraced the contemplative life that the idea of my own giftedness began to emerge.  Through knowledge of God and knowledge of self, I came to understand more fully my own unique giftedness, while also having the opportunity to work through and present for healing all those interior blocks to naming, claiming and cultivating these gifts.  While I still hesitate to call myself a writer, I know that is still the unhealed wounds within not wanting to put my gifts out there. 

So, if you are interested in discovering your own unique gifts and how you are being called to share them in the world, perhaps the contemplative life is for you.  Through spiritual practice, you will have an opportunity to come to know more fully your most authentic self and release the wounds and the blocks to your own Divine revelation.  So if you have dreams of being a writer, artist, chef, coach, singer, dance, actor, teacher, counselor, mother, father, friend, lover, dreamer, etc. etc. etc. and have not yet given yourself the gift to pursue these dreams……start today with a simple prayer, “God, help me to see more fully the truth of who I am and give me the tools through which I can embrace him/her more fully.”  Live your dreams!  It is your unique contribution to the world and the way in which God desires to reveal peace, love and joy to those around you! 

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